Happy Birthd’eh, Jenni!

Earlier this week EN commander-in-chief Jenni Autry sent out a company memo in a fit of pre-Pan Ams agitation.

There was a long, irate rant about parking passes, etc. and then this reminder of the sacrifices she was making for both EN and her country: “It’s my [bleep] birthday on Friday and I’m doing whatever the [bleep] I want. I’m rolling into this PRESS CENTRE with a [bleep] suitcase full of booze and a [bleep] chinchilla.”

Accompanied by this:

John was not very sympathetic. “No one wants to hear about your birthday weekend vacation. You are in Canada. People there are like Americans, except nicer, and there are no police,” he wrote, and then went on a tangent about his experience covering the last Pan Ams in Guadalajara.

“The very fact that you are writing us an email means that your life is 500% better than Guadalajara. In 2011, I got posts published using a combination of drug mules and smoke signals. Parking wasn’t a problem at the venue because we had to have a military escort. To make matters worse, I got so drunk Saturday night that I wrote the jog and show jumping reports literally laying down in the press center. But, go back to your VIP parking pass hand delivered by the USEF, and your little friendly host family, and think you are hard core.”

Accompanied by this:

I tend to be a sort of Switzerland between Jenni and John, the marriage counselor of EN’s quarreling parents. In this case: yes, John, a third-world country does trump The Country Above the United States, but it still sort of sucks to be away from your friends, husband and extensive personal wine collection on your birthday.

For Jenni so loved her country that she gave up her only day off of the year to cover the Pan Am Games, and I think that deserves a little compassion — and a reminder that Canada has a lot to offer lonely female journalists. Like these Canadian national treasures, who have gathered here today to celebrate our fearless leader’s birth.