Being Pinpointed

Learning to let go with the beast!

This picture was taken last summer and represents more than what meets the eye. I remember that day down to the last detail. Boy was it humid. I remember there were two other people in the lesson. I wore my cross-country vest thinking we were going to start in the ring and then head out to cross country. I never went out to cross country, but I did learn a lot.

I recall May, Denny and a couple other people yelling at me that afternoon. “LET GO OF HER MOUTH. LIGHT AIDS. FLOAT THE REINS. I SAID FLOAT THE REINS. This mare needs freedom over the fence, or she will invert and not jump up, over and around the jumps. JUST LET GO, Lila!”

The lesson started with me micromanaging Valonia’s every move. I tried to control the speed and her frame. The more I tried to control, the worse everything got. When they all screamed at me to literally loop the reins, I finally got it. I looped the reins at the end of the lesson and the picture above was the result. Valonia said “thank you” for letting go, and she jumped the best I had ever felt her jump.

Truth be told, I am a bit of a control freak. I am borderline type-A personality and cannot stand when things are out of my control. I like routine, punctuality and consistency. So, when I showed up at Tamarack roughly seven years ago, I was in for rude awakening. How could I be told that I didn’t know how to do A, B and C. How dare he pinpoint me during a lesson. How dare he compare me to Suzy, Allie and Cathy.

Of course, I’d had lessons before in my life, but never had I been told the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Some people can handle the truth and others cannot. Hi, my name is Lila, and I could NOT handle the truth, nor did I appreciate ever being told I was wrong. Boy did I have a lot to learn!

And again — me learning to chill out on Sybreaker this summer.

Eventing may be incredibly exhilarating, but it’s not one of the easiest sports out there — am I right? In order to become “good” riders, we have to check our egos at the door. We have to come to a lesson with an open mind and be ready and willing to learn from those who have achieved greater things than we have. Why else would we take lessons? Denny has accomplished more than I could ever imagine achieving. How inspiring it is to have him around pushing us to the nth degree day in and day out.

For me, one of the hardest parts about riding and taking lessons is being pinpointed. Maybe students that come to the farm don’t think Daryl Kinney and I have been pinpointed. Newsflash — we have been pinpointed, probably more than most! But we are still around. So that must count for something, right? Being pinpointed is difficult. It’s not the easiest thing to sit on your horse and be told that those other riders are doing X, Y and Z correctly and that you are not. It is not easy to bite your tongue and listen to criticism. Of course, the criticism is usually constructive, but in the moment, you feel as though the criticism has only one connotation.

Learning to cope with being pinpointed will only make you a stronger rider. Like I mentioned, you need to check your ego at the door when taking a lesson and learning from others who have wisdom and talent well beyond your years. We are all going to be pinpointed at some point. Not one single rider out there is perfect. We all need to be corrected from time to time, and we all need to learn how to handle these corrections.

It has taken YEARS, but I have finally learned and come to accept the fact that I am most definitely not going to be right all the time. Not even close. I am going to make mistakes and I am going to have to learn new things. New ways of riding. New lessons. New concepts. We need to remain as open books. The second we try to close our books, we are closing our ability to become better riders and trainers.

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