Jon Holling — Finding Your Proper Balance

When I started speaking with Jon Holling about being a guest blogger for Eventing Nation, I knew that he would be absolutely perfect and this first post doesn’t disappoint–Jon writes about a message today that I consider one of the most important we have ever published on Eventing Nation.  Jon has served eventing in a variety of capacities, including as a four-star rider, a well respected coach, an event organizer, and a leader on various committees and organizations including as Chair of the USEA’s Professional Horsemans Council.  Jon is known quite appropriately in such committees for putting the interests of eventing above his own personal goals and convenience.  I have personally trained under Jon with great satisfaction and he has been a good friend of mine and Eventing Nation for many years.  Jon along with his wife Jenn and their son Caiden operate Holling Eventing out of beautiful Willow Run Farm in Ocala, FL.  If you could only read one article on Eventing Nation all year, this post by Jon would be the one to read.
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Jenn, Caiden, and Jon in the center

From Jon:

    When I started to think about writing for Eventing Nation I went through the obvious list of topics.  Those included things involving horsemanship, equitation, competition schedules and even a review of what is going on with my personal string of horses.  While I probably will touch on those topics at some point (I do love to talk about my horses!) the topic that really jumped out at me was finding a balance in life.  I am not talking about a balance while riding but instead a balance between your family, horses and business.  I placed those three groups in that order specifically to remind myself what the order of priority should be.  Too often I watch young professionals in this sport getting the order of priorities in their lives mixed up.  I suppose early on in life it’s ok and even necessary to occasionally put the horses or business ahead of family, but at some point you do have to get back to what is truly important. 

    Because I am a selfish event rider, and I am very focused on my own goals, I will use my experiences as an example.  I started out in the Event world as a very self motivated 19 year old working for Peter Gray in Canada.  I left my family, friends and girlfriend at the time back in Wisconsin so that I could chase my dream of being a professional in this sport.  If I had to do it over again I would not change a thing about those first five years of my career.  It was during that time that I met my wife, learned the program I have based my entire career upon, and met some of my closest friends. Under Peter’s eye I was able to move up from preliminary to advanced in a year and a half.  In 2004 I had two horses entered at Rolex Kentucky.  I somewhat naively had expectations of competing in Athens at the Olympics.  After a slightly less than average dressage, I set out on cross country intent to show the selectors, and the world, that I was the real deal.  However, a disappointing stop at the coffin at fence 7a put all those dreams to rest.  On the walk of shame back to the barn I was overcome with the realization that everything I had worked for was lost.  I had let down a list of people who had supported me.  That list included my wife, my parents, my owners and my friends.  Later that day, after taking care of the horses, I sat in my car with Jenn.  She was great, but what could she say really?  It was over for at least the next four years.

    That’s when it hit me.  I had been so focused on “the dream” that I had missed the real point. The Olympics is my goal and I work daily in my quest to achieve that goal, BUT there has to be balance in order to be successful.  It is that balance that motivates you to work a little harder on the good days, and persevere on the tough days.  As I said to Jenn in the car that day, “This can’t be all that there is.  One bad day cannot be the end of everything”.  From that moment on I reorganized my list of priorities and put them in a proper order – family, horses, and business.   Creating a family is the single greatest achievement that anyone can accomplish.  For some that means kids.  For others that means working to maintain close ties to parents or siblings .  Three years ago our son Caiden was born.  That day was the single greatest day of my life and I cannot imagine anything being as special or rewarding.

     Now, let me be clear.  I am not suggesting that if you’re stressed out or depressed to go and have a kid.  I promise they will only add to the stress.  I am after all writing this while I am waiting for Caiden at the dentist’s office.  Not exactly the most relaxing day.  What I am saying is, don’t allow yourself to get so caught up in the moment or the dreams that you have, that you forget to enjoy where you are and the people around you.  I heard a great quote on TV the other day “sometimes you have a dream for so long it becomes a fantasy”.  Go ahead and dream, in fact dream big, but don’t forget what made you get into this crazy sport in the first place.  For me it was the ability to be around my family, friends, and horses all while still being able to run a business.  What a great life we all lead.  How many people in this world can honestly say they get to do what they love while being surrounded by the people they love?  While I work daily for the goal I am actually living the dream.

Categories:

Eventing Nation, Jon Holling
  • Anonymous

    Jon....u r so cool. U r a great dad...and Caiden is amazingly sweet. We keep warning codi to watch out...grin. Wonderful insight on everything!

  • faybe

    GREAT perspective and a terrifically written piece- thanks Jon, can't wait for your next piece!

  • Jessica

    Jon - So true and thank you so much for reminding all of us. I feel like I should copy and paste this onto my desktop!

  • lsa

    Jon, why did it take you so long to come on board? Super topic! Thanks.

  • Mary B.

    I tell horse colleagues my family comes first, horses next, and I get crazy looks. Somehow I'm written off as "less dedicated" to the sport. Nice to hear from someone else who agrees balance is important. I recently took on a work-to-ride/train arrangement and my home life suffer for it, as I put the horses and barn work, before anything else. I've since rearranged my goals. As I tell other folks I ride with, the kids grow up, their childhoods are so very temporary; never will I make them second to the barn. The beauty of riding (and though I'm still "horseless" at 43, after riding for almost 25+ years...) is that it is never too late to get that first horse, and to go on and pursue my dream. I intend to do so when the young kids are older. In the meantime, I'm a stay-home riding Mom who rides during the day when the kids are in school (granted, not as much as I'd like, but enough to get my "fix," as well as all my virtual Eventing participation via EventingNation.com) I don't care if I go up to the upper levels of Eventing someday, or not; I just want to do it at some point, feel the thrill of completing all three phases, and savor it! Great contributing piece, go Eventing!

  • TheodoreRoosevelt

    Great post Jon...It reminds me of a quote by Theodore Roosevelt, "There are two kinds of success. One is the very rare kind that comes to the man who has the power to do what no one else has the power to do. That is genius. But the average man who wins what we call success is not genius. He is a man who has merely the ordinary qualities that he shares with his fellows, but who has developed those ordinary qualities to a more than ordinary degree."

  • Char Eurick

    Jon,

    Well said. You are a class act! I knew it when I met you in Malmo and we had to smooth over a few little things, remember? Anyway, I remember your Mom was there and I told her she should be so proud that she raised such a nice young man!

    -Char Eurick (Good Witch's Groom)

  • B.W

    Somehow I missed this picture being taken but my dog who was a very important part (Caiden's pony at times) of the Holling Eventing crew made it in the snap shot. =)

  • Eventersmom

    I'll never forget meeting Jon Holling for the first time. I'm positive this rememberance is only one sided, but never the less, Jon was a gentleman. He was the only rider at Poplar Place Farm, to welcome me, my rider and her coach into his little tack stall. We stood there in awe, of his stuff, his well groomed horses, fine smile, but most of all his kind nature. Holling was willing to answer any questions we had. Then we met (hilariously funny)Jen at Rocking Horse shows later. She also took the time, (before joining Karen O'Connor for a glass of wine in her trailer), to evaluate our horse. Super kind folks, thanks eventingnation for Jon. :)

  • Young Adult Eventer

    I am thrilled at this article. Many of my childhood riding friends went on to compete at higher levels then me, and sometimes that is hard; But then I look at my husband and think about the child that will be joining us in a few months, and suddenly Training level doesn't seem so bad. I wouldn't trade any of my family life for Prelim and above.

    Jon - I have seen you at many events and always respected your class and balance. You are the example that is long overdue in the eventing world.

  • Jess Halliday

    I love this article. It's so true. As a young professional in the sport I too struggle with the balance of my own riding, my business, my family, my clients, etc. It's so great to be able to look up to Jon as a roll model. He truly is a class act all around.

  • Linda

    Jon, your insights are amazing! Your advice holds true for every profession. I hope my 22 yr old Eventing daughter takes a few moments to read and ponder your article. We keep telling her that this can be a lifelong sport if she takes her time and is careful about it. We don't want her to give up her dreams, but there does have to be balance in everything we do! The costs are high in this sport: money, time, relationships. There is always a need to put everything in perspective! Thank you again.

  • OTTBeventer

    LOVE THIS! I struggle to remain in some semblance of balance (on AND off the horse) each and every day! My husband laughs that he's #5 on the list of priorities. Ryan Hall, World Record Holder in the Half Marathon, once said, "it's not about winning, but about the journey". He's known for thanking everyone when finishing a race and I've taken that perspective; whenever possible galloping round a course or around the barns, I do my best to thank every person I see and appreciate every single person who has made this dream a reality. My 5 year old daughter is my greatest fan [and goom!] and "coaches" me-- whether giving me positive imaging before a ride or muttering to sit up and kick on while videoing me-- she makes each event all the more enjoyable! Cheers to you for setting the example! That's what REAL eventers are made of!

  • KC

    Great article!

  • subk

    A decade or so ago I stabled beside Jon at a three-day. As an adult amateur it was one of the pinnacles of my career, but it was obvious to anyone paying close attention that Jon was on the cusp of his.

    I had Jon and Jenn on one side of me and a BNR and his loud obnoxious drama on the other. The contrast was stunning. Jon was quiet, respectful to both those he came with and those he encountered, and very, very focused on his horse. I have been a big fan ever since. I remember thinking then that Jon was exactly the kind of young man I wanted to see do well in this sport and I have watched with pleasure his subsequent successes.

    What a great addition to the EN lineup!

  • soweto

    Jon's article is great and echos my own thoughts about the sport. Thanks for writing. one question though- where is Jon's pink feather boa?!? Maybe it slipped off immediately before the photo was snapped...

  • Ldbgcoleman

    Im an amatuer amatuer who went back to riding after the family. My 9 year old son loves to ride and it gives us hours of fun and teaches him so many values. Its something we share and he has inspired several "brothers" of riders to learn too. He also is a volunteer for Special Olympics. Riding doesn't have to be exclusive.

    Jon is certainly a class act and a terrific rider, father, husband. I really enjoyed his writing. Looking forward to the next article

  • Nancy

    John (original John) the next question might be:
    how do you form/create/recognize your goals. Do these happen out of thin air...? N

  • AshleyB

    Excellent post!! Love the quote, thanks!!

  • clb

    That's a hit the nail on the head post if I ever saw one...

  • Katie

    Well done Jon!
    If my memory serves me, didn't you start out your riding career pre Peter Gray with Anne Jennings in Mequon, WI? She puts such a strong correct equitation basic on her riders, and you manifest that in your riding.
    (I'm so old I remember when you were small enough to beat up!) :-)

  • Nic

    I Love Jen and Jon, they have to be THE nicest people in eventing...

  • Michele

    WELL SAID Jonathan!!!!

  • KC

    I am that selfish eventer you speak of, Jon. I actually sent this to my husband, who said, "Wow, that sounds like you!" But, I'm not an Advanced level rider - I'm just coming back after a long hiatus. Your writing speaks volumes and reminded me to take a step back.

    Young Adult Eventer, I am right there with you! No children yet, but that time is a'comin. I'll probably never go above Prelim again, and somehow...I'm ok with that now. Your comment really resonated with me, thanks for writing it.

  • SLP

    As an adult amateur with a stressful career and teenage kids, horses and eventing ARE my balance!

  • Sophie AUS

    Hasn't any one realized that it is spelt John not Jon