On December 13th the eventing community lost Lisa Marie Fergusson’s amazing young Smart Move.  It was a tragic accident for which there are no words of comfort to overcome the grief.  Lisa was kind enough to write a tribute to Smartie and the story of taking steps towards recovery.
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From Lisa:

BLACK CHRISTMAS

Traditionally, I return to Vancouver to be with family for Christmas. This year was to be a little different, it would be more of an early Black Christmas as my Mom’s twin brother and my favorite Uncle Dale had passed away after battling cancer, he was just 57. Funeral services were being held on the 8th of December so I returned to Vancouver a little early to be with family and attend Dale’s service.

After an emotional 4 days I returned to Wellington in time to have a quick nap, tack Smartie up and head over to Betsy Steiner’s to watch his lesson. Betsy took the reins (literally) and rode Smartie while I was in Vancouver so I was eager to get her feedback. Betsy finished her ride and was so excited for Smartie: “He is such a wonderful horse, and has matured so much since last winter, you have done such a great job with him and we can seriously make this happen, he is going to be amazing.” Smartie stood so proud as we all hugged, loved and fawned all over him, he knew we were all so impressed by him and by the look on his face it was his proudest moment.

After the short hack back to the barn we put Smartie in his stall, did a few chores and then headed back to the airport so my boyfriend Mike could catch a late afternoon flight. After my all night flight and an emotional 4 days in Vancouver I was still feeling a little down but apparently my Black Christmas was about to get a whole lot darker. Mike was already in the airport when I received the call that Smartie had gotten loose and was hit by a car. I ran into the airport, tears streaming, and grabbed Mike before he checked in. The 20 minute drive back to the barn was perhaps the longest drive of my life.

DECISIONS IN LIFE AND LIFE DECISIONS

Decisions are tough, personally at times I find it tough to decide between a burger and pasta, so how do you look into the eyes of your most precious friend, partner and family member and decide on life. I spent my last few precious moments with Smartie, I held him, hugged him, kissed him, told him I loved him and said goodbye, Smartie was humanely euthanized and I was reduced to a puddle. I would trade every goal or competitive dream I ever had with Smartie just to hear him talk to me and tell me how much he loves me as I walk down center aisle to bring him his feed. Maybe it was the food he loved, but he was loved and I will miss him forever.

DÉJÀ VU ALL OVER AGAIN

Ironically it was just days before Smartie’s passing that EN had posted a recent blog of mine describing my feelings of loss and the lessons learned with the passing of Uni. I went into great detail how Smartie was a gift and that I firmly believed everything happens for a reason, that there is often opportunity in setbacks, and that ultimately positivity, hard work and resilience would prevail. I am seriously being tested on this!

People, as delicately as possible, have asked how it happened, but there is not one logical answer. Smartie must have been spooked or bitten because during turn out he charged his stall door and took it off the hinges, he then proceeded to gallop around the barn until he eventually found his way out on to a lightly travelled dirt road. There are many other factors involved but for a series of one in a million events to align and come together would seemingly be impossible. To take the door off the hinges alone takes serious force and that is not Smartie, as much as I wanted to find blame nothing different could have been done and in the universal design of things all I can make of this is that Smartie had a higher calling and is now, by choice, in a better place. Sucks to be me!

SHELL SHOCKED

I went into a shell and Mike contacted the people closest to us to let them know of this tragic event. One of the people Mike felt most deserving to first hear the news was John at EN. John and the readers at EN have been such a wonderful part of Smarties journey and such wonderful supporters and friends that Mike felt they needed to know.

Tuesday night at 9:18 EN was first to report the news and by then Mike had my phone, answered as many calls as possible and I just hid from life and the world as I knew it.

THE MOURNING AFTER

The next morning the mood in the barn was very somber, Calon, Smartie’s closest friend and brother, went from typically anti social to lap dog, Tali, Smarties full brother who is always Mr bubbly would barely pick his head up. If you have ever wondered if horses mourn their lost ones, they do. Now two weeks later both the horses and I are just getting back to a normal routine and if not for Sarah Travis, a great friend and Assistant Trainer with Betsy, my horses would not have been worked during this time. Sara, on top of a busy daily schedule, came over each day and rode as many of my horses as she could. I am so lucky to have people like Sara in my life and hope I never have to re pay her……under the same circumstance. Thanks Sara!

EN, THE ENRICHING NATION

For the next couple of days there were only two things I did, read comments posted from the incredibly loving and supportive readers at EN, and of course cry. If it is possible to feel horrible and good at the same time I guess I was there. Those pure and genuine heartfelt comments were like Mom kissing your cut and saying it will be alright, you knew the kiss wasn’t going to help the wound but knew the love would go a long way for the healing. For each and every person who wrote a beautiful comment or thought a kind thought, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate the kind and generous act and how much strength it brought in a very weak moment. Thank You.

THE HEAVEN’S MUST HAVE BEEN IN SOME SERIOUS NEED OF LIGHT

         BECAUSE THEY TOOK ONE OF EVENTINGS BRIGHTEST FUTURE STARS

Smartie was filled with so much potential and promise and at just 7 he was already short listed for the Canadian Olympic Team. Smarty was a confident and cocky horse whose cockyness was only matched by his pure athletic ability. When we started 2011 Smartie was not a horse given any serious consideration or attention, in fact most criticized his rise through the levels and commented that he was too young and being rushed. They didn’t know Smartie and they don’t know me but by the end of 2011 he would have the attention and consideration he deserved. After a very successful season, culminating with a very respectable 4th place finish at his first CCI 3* we were definitely starting to convince even our harshest critics that Smartie was not in over his head and that he was very much deserving of competing at the Advanced levels. 

THE HEART OF THE MATTER

I sat in my trailer, at the barn, crying for 2 days, I did not check my email or Facebook and Mike commandeered my phone so, for the most part, I was alone with my thoughts. Day 2 there was a knock at the door and it was my teary eyed (typically more composed) Dressage coach Betsy Steiner who booked the morning off to come sit, cry, reminisce and share with me her love and deepest sympathies, What an amazing person and friend I have in Betsy. Betsy’s life lesson for the day; the river runs deep with friends, who love, support and have genuine concern. She didn’t say it, she and many people who came out of the woodwork, showed it.

Betsy left and I re-entered the digital world of email and facebook only to find, once again, that I am not alone, the overwhelming support is something I could never have imagined. Friends, family, competitors and distant acquaintances all reached out to support me. Jimmy Wofford, someone I admire greatly but barely know took the time to share some wisdom, extend his kind support, and bring one of the few smiles to my face, truly amazing.

TIS BETTER TO HAVE LOVED AND LOST, THEN TO HAVE NEVER LOVED AT ALL

If you are open to love you will feel loss. I loved my Uncle and Smartie equally but different, different but the same. Confused? Me too, I will never share another Christmas with my Uncle Dale who brought love, life and positivity into my world each and every time we met. He shared with me his joy of life and an appreciation for actually living each and every moment, truly a glass half full person. I won’t sit on Smartie at Rolex, Badminton, Burghley or the Olympics but more importantly I can’t walk out to the field with an apple or a pocket full of cookies and spoil my precious horse. Both blessed my life, shared their love and both will be missed, the same but different, equally not more.

THE UNIVERSE WORKS IN STRANGE AND MYSTERIOUS WAYS

Smartie was not an easy horse, in fact, most of my coaches agreed that he was a handful. He was talented, athletic and a quick learner but physically a tough challenge. For Smartie balance did not always come easy, he could be really tough in the neck and, at times, overly bold but he was honest and did come to work every day.

In Eventing, I have heard it said that you can have that one special horse and ride your way through the levels but successfully bring two competitive horses to the upper levels and not only are you are a rider but you are a trainer.

I don’t necessarily subscribe to the theory but after I lost Uni perhaps my biggest fear was whether Uni was my one shot or did I have what it took to bring more horses successfully to the upper levels. Smartie answered that question for me. There is no doubt Smartie was special but he didn’t train himself and as I did with Uni, I started Smartie, I brought him through the levels and in a very short time we, as a team, were very competitive. If Smartie left me with anything it is the confidence that I can do it again and I am certain that my best in horses is yet to come.

MY LESSONS FROM SMARTIE AND DALE

I am certainly not the only person to have loved and lost and chances are if I keep putting myself out there I will feel pain again but in their passing, I believe my life lesson from Smartie and Dale is to:

Ride each and every moment foot fall by foot fall, share my love for those important to me each and every chance I get and to know that the river runs deep, for me much deeper than I ever thought. Smartie’s passing and the incredible response from EN’s readers showed me that.

THE SECOND COMING

This is the last picture I took of Smartie. Smartie is playing brother in the middle with Tali on the left and Calon on the right. Ironically I am left with a Full brother to Smartie and a full brother to Uni.

The winter focus will now shift to Tali who at this time is the perfect horse for me to get back on track with, he is always happy, positive and eager to learn and I absolutely adore him. Tali got a good kick in the field and spent most of last season on injured reserve but he truly shows amazing potential. Tali. is coming six and although he has only completed his first Novice he is, hands down, potentially, the best horse I have owned. I guess if there is one thing that I have learned about horses realizing their potential and that is to appreciate the time I have with them because my last ride could be the last ride.

SPECIAL THANKS

As a side note a very special thanks extended to John at EN and Marjorie and Lisa from SCES for all your kind and “unexpected” support and efforts. I know there were some negative comments posted but I was completely unaware of any efforts to establish a fund and it was from the kindness of people I have never met who initiated it. Your negativity is your anchor, not mine and I am thankful and so appreciative of the kind spirit and thoughtfulness of everyone, positive, in this, wonderful eventing community.

Thank you all,

LOVE SMARTIE

Finally, for those who are familiar with Randy Pausch, a truly inspirational person, I share these quotes and for those who do not know him I suggest you look him up.

“The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough.”

“You just have to decide if you’re a Tigger or an Eeyore”.

I have hit my brick walls but I will never give up and I will be a Tigger about it. See you at the Olympics….Someday!

Happy New Year! Set your goals high and I hope you exceed them!

Happy New Year’s to all of our readers in Australia and New Zealand and Happy New Year’s Eve to everyone else around Eventing Nation!  For most of us this holiday week has been a whirlwind of family, horses, partying, shopping, and traveling.  But if my internal translator of UK English to Kentucky English is functional, it sounds like Jacky Green has had a truly historic week of insanity, as is tradition at Maizey Manor.  Jacky works for Team New Zealand and also runs her Maizey Manor Farm in the UK and she is a regular Eventing Nation contributor.  Thanks for writing this Jacky and thank you for reading.
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The Canadians at Maizey Manor earlier this year

From Jacky:

After two years in a row with a White Christmas (yuk) thank God this year was not. Whilst it might look cute to those city workers with a couple of weeks off everyone that knows horses knows that snow and ice and horses do not mix. This is especially so in the UK where we have absolute zero capacity for dealing with it. No salt, no grit, motorways ground to a standstill, airports closed, arenas unrideable, yards reduced to a skating rink, really not fun.

So for all those international visitors that wonder what happens at Maizey Manor Farm in the winter when the three and four star horses and all the people have departed here is an insight…..

October…..Blenheim and Burgley horses departed, we troop off to Boekelo (Holland) and Le Lion D’Angers (France) avoiding the cheap option of going to Weston Park at all costs. Tim Price (NZL) pays the ultimate price when he drops off his pupil at Weston Park only to have to pick it up before the trot up (question: why did his pupil not mention his horse had been kicked that morning and save a 10 hour round trip?) and re route to Aldon CCI * which I think is totally and utterly the pits of the eventing world and to be avoided at all costs. Aldon is a celebrated early season event which runs on top (and I mean on top) of a hill in Somerset and apart from Larkhill is the coldest event on earth. Caroline Powell (NZL) will disagree with me as she braves some Scottish events in October but dear God it really is to be avoided. Esib Power loads up 6 horses and my entire tack room whilst I am at Le Lion D’Angers and leaves me with 3 bits from my collection of 50 and hotfoots it back to Ireland whilst her amazing head girl Emily makes smart plans to boycott Ireland and head to Florida to join the O’Connor team for a few months, Emily, if you are reading this please God come back in March as I hate Seb so much……..

November……very quiet. So very quiet that I pack on half a stone and resort to Nat VC for advice and subsequently join the gym, having scoffed at Will Faudree all summer and told him if he worked harder he would not need the gym. Catherine Burrell departs for home in Australia to get married and Maizey Manor Farm is very very quiet.

December…..a few icy days and the arrival of horses to me whilst their owners go on holiday. Sam Albert (Jamaica) drops off Dex, a cute TB gelding despite my protestations that I only ride warmbloods these days. Two days later I am convinced I LOVE the warmblood trot. I wanted Squirt, my adorable warmblood, but he has gone hunting with the Beaufort with legend Beanie Sturgess and I know on day 3 that Squirt would rather be doing circles with me and Dex would rather be doing anything but circles. Hey Ho….. tough! A best friend of mine invites me to her birthday party on 22nd December and I decide to host it here as a present to her. This means tackling the supermarket in the week before Christmas. Oh dear God, rammed ankles by trolleys, fights over the parsnips, a near death experience at the meat section, what is wrong with these people? Everything will be open again on the 27th! How much food can they fit in their houses and do they really need 5 boxes of chocolates? (When I found myself asking one fat lady this question I had to make a detour behind the bread section to escape). I mucked out, rode, cooked, turned out, cooked, brought in, cooked, fed, cleaned and hosted a most excellent dinner party for 12 although since the departure of the ex led to the exodus of the furniture the table arrangement consisted of the kitchen table to the dining room, the laundry table from the hall to the dining room, the dining room table to the kitchen and left the dogs about to leave home too and several very stubbed toes. My added extravanganza of table confetti and party poppers looked set to make the evening go with a bang.

23rd December. 3 am finish the party and bloody party poppers and table confetti everywhere. Stuck in dogs feet, my socks, on floor and stupid Dyson won’t pick up. Me hungover, dogs knackered, house trashed and sprightly horses waiting in yard. Skip gym and collapse on sofa when have house slightly back in order. Family about to arrive for Christmas.

Christmas Eve. Dawns well since went to bed at 7pm night before. Ride horses, do yard, head to pub for traditional Christmas Eve celebration at lunch time. Well, not that traditional, my sister and I used to head for Rodney Powell’s (GB) on Xmas eve on pretense of potatoes and come home slaughtered about 2 am but since the advent of hunter drink driving has arrived in Wiltshire and the infamous argument whereby I declared I had an HGV so my licence was more important than Pig’s and she drove me home in 7 minutes flat to the sound of the Scissor Sisters in protest before collapsing on the sofa for the entire day it has become traditional as we can walk. Consume much alcohol with my family and friends and fail to entice anyone into yard to help me upon darkness.

Christmas Day. Chuck out whatever is not walking wounded, cook lunch, deal with house guests, bemoan crap TV, discover DVD kindly left by Esib is broken, do yard, watch mother play with dogs and take out a Guiness can (on white carpet), break open a bottle of champagne (all over kitchen) and proclaim she has dropped the loo roll down the loo. Oh, and also cook amazing lunch to find guests hunting for food at 6 pm. Struggle to stay awake for Downton Abbey and then fall asleep before Mathew proposes.

Boxing Day. Hasten departure of guests by suggesting working party on yard. Drive mother home and get busted by yet another sneaky Welsh Speed camera. Contemplate blaming on Will Faudree but he has a departure ticket for September. Do yard. Am really over December.

Aah…..New Years eve! Forever encapsulated in my mind by the sight of Nat VC in a tinsel headband on the yard at 7 am clearly having not been to bed. Since I also had not been to bed it did not seem bizarre at the time, though latterly…………

EN’s good friend Stephen Bradley is joining or team of guest bloggers for the upcoming 2012 season and he was kind enough to get started a few days early.  I took several lessons from Stephen before my EN days and he was very kind to me then despite my terrible riding.  Thanks for writing this Stephen and thank you for reading.
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Photo courtesy of Stephanie Bradley-Green

From Stephen:

I’m thrilled to have been asked by John to blog for Eventing Nation, and I will do my best to check in from time to time. I’m not an avid writer, so bear with me as I venture into my first blog. And since this is my first blog, I thought I would give a little insider’s peek at the program here in Virginia.

After a busy 2011, we’ve officially entered the off season. Unlike some folks who use this time to travel (I’m not a huge fan of flying), I use it to teach. I try to teach a number of clinics during the off season to help build up income for the upcoming season. I’m lucky to have a good crew in the barn right now that allows me to get away for a few days at a time. The newest member of the team, James Daniel Conner, started this summer and has been a great addition. Besides normal barn manager duties, James will also compete some of the young horses, as well as his own horse at Intermediate this spring. Additionally, I have two great working students right now, Matthew Ulmer and Amber Hodyka, to help keep things going smoothly.

I’m currently based at Long Branch Farm in White Post, Virginia. As you can see from the photo, the barn looks more like a house, and the horses live like royalty. The only thing we lack is an indoor arena. With the bulk of my clients in the Virginia area, I try to not leave for warmer weather until absolutely necessary. And trailering to a neighboring indoor can get quite tiresome. So my team and I have to tough it out until we leave for Aiken in February. Thankfully, our arena is at the top of the hill, with no trees around it. So even when it’s really cold, it’s usually rideable after a few hours of sunshine. Of course, the several hundred pounds of water softener salt that we spread by hand each winter probably helps too!

This year we’ll be going down to Full Gallop Farm in Aiken. The plan is to not leave until February 1st, but if the weather is really horrible, I might try to escape a week or two early. We’ll be packing up the whole barn this year, although I’m still not quite sure how I’m getting everyone down there. But I’m sure it will all work out (an eventer’s mantra, right?!). With a large group of competition horses this year, we’ll probably end up doing our first couple of canters at home in our outdoor ring. For the upper level horses who require a bit more fitness work before heading south, I’m lucky to have access to my friend Diana McClure’s all-weather track. Diana is a local race trainer, but thankfully she doesn’t mind having the occasional eventer lope around.

Now for a quick update on the most important aspect of my job … the horses!

First up is Leyland, owned by the Nicholson family. When I realized that I didn’t have him qualified for a fall 3*, I spoke with the Nicholsons and we decided to give Leyland some time off. I think this was one of the best things we could have done, as he came back in early November ready to work. I’ve spent this fall getting to know him better and solidifying our relationship. I can’t thank Leyland’s owners enough for giving us the time we needed, and being very supportive as we’ve had our rough patches this fall (including me jumping the wrong last fence at Richland!).

Next up is Simon (aka In The Fog), owned by Charlotte Harris. Simon moved up to Advanced this summer and I decided to take him to Galway for his first 3*. Unfortunately, after a spectacular dressage test, Simon put on the brakes at the 5th fence on cross country. This was very, very unlike Simon, and I spent most of the plane ride home trying to pinpoint what went wrong. He was a bit dehydrated after arrival, and received fluids after dressage, so that may have been the issue. When he arrived back home to Virginia, he seemed sound and healthy, if not a bit fatigued. So he got a few weeks off, and is already back in work. He’s working great at home, so the plan is to just put fence 5 behind us and move on.

Finally we have “The Boys,” as we call them. The Boys are made up of three up-and-coming horses: Archie (aka Marble Arch) owned by Helen Brettell, Boomer (aka Bedazzled) owned by Charlotte Harris, and Loreto owned by Peter Foley. These three kept me busy while Leyland and Simon were on their various breaks throughout the year. They all moved up to Preliminary at the end of the season, and the plan is to do one Training, then bump them back up to Preliminary in the spring, and aim for a one-star in the fall.

So that’s all that’s going on in my barn right now. Stay tuned for the next update from Aiken!

Stephen

EN favorite Colleen Rutledge returns today with her latest installment as an EN guest blogger.  Needless to say, Colleen needs no introduction on EN.  I loved reading about her off season insights and I hope you will too.  Thanks for writing this Colleen and thank you for reading.
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     Photo used with kind permission of the incomparable Nico Morgan.

From Colleen:

Oh, woe is me! What ever am I to do this time of year? There are no events around me. Something about the threat of snow and ice and frozen lumpy ground seem to make event organizers nervous? Did they forget? We are eventers! The toughest of the tough. Unless it’s hot, or raining, or icy, or really windy and cold. Ok, really, is it too much to ask for perfect weather ALL year round? Just kidding. This time of year is my favorite time to play what I like to call ‘In a perfect world’. This is where I sit down and with next year’s calendar, I write down all of the events that I would like to do, if it was a perfect world, with an unlimited checkbook, and horses who are never stupid enough to get themselves hurt and with students who grasp every lesson and absorb it immediately. Like I said, in a perfect world.

Really, this is setting my and my students’ short and long term goals for the next twelve months. Everything is always subject to change, but if you have an idea of where you want to go, it is much easier to plan a route. (You would never plan a long and time consuming road trip without consulting some form of map, would you? And if you would, please tell me first, I’ll get another ride.) Especially if you are planning on stepping outside of your comfort zone. This gives me the ability to plan my horses’ work schedule, knowing where the flexibility is (as a mother to three very interesting kids, this is a MUST, and it is a given that complications will fall into my life), as well as being able to budget my time and money.

Budget, you say? Yes, some of us upper level riders really do have to budget our finances. Every time I have to withdraw out of a show, I feel that pain in my checkbook, so I try to make sure that I have planned only what I can afford. I have to weigh very carefully experience versus risks, so, I won’t run my horses if they aren’t fit both physically and mentally (some of mine straddle that line all the time anyway, so I look for the more sane days). Everyone can relate to the times where a horse has exited the train to saneville and gone dancing over to the bus to crazytown. Where my flexibility comes in is that I have a few mid-level horses that I can interchange fairly easily and I try to mesh their schedules so that it is a possibility. My upper level horses are less flexible in their interchangeability, and they generally are already on the same schedule, but I try to be able to do the same. I have a limited amount of space on my trailer and a limited amount of help at the shows, so I have to limit my competition horses at each show. I spend a lot of time weighing pros and cons of each horses competing, when I finally do get around to a final schedule. Some end up not competing, and just schooling XC after the event (excellent money saver, but a little light on the qualifying side) and some need some extra help in other areas and back down the levels a little bit.

Confidence in event horses is one of the most important traits that is the easiest to destroy. My prospective plan assumes that confidence in the year will grow, not wither. Be very prepared to change your plans, the horses will tell you what is right, but only if you listen to them. If you are on your own, use a voice of reason–coach, knowledgable friend, someone who has experience at your level. Don’t be afraid to ask stupid questions, they’re only stupid if you DON’T ask. (Where was fence 12 again?)

Most importantly, give yourself permission to enjoy not only the time spent with your horse in the process of getting there, but when everything is going wrong. It sounds strange, but positivity is a conscious effort. Negativity is an unconscious state. You need to work to combat the negativity throughout the off season, so the the positive becomes habit. It’s just another skill that can be honed, only it can be done all of the time, not just when you are on horseback. When I have a horrible ride, I try to find one positive aspect first, then identify the negative aspects, but always come back to the positive. I do this for both me and my horses as well as my students.

–C