With all the excitement flying around recently about coach selection, I decided it was time for a post about everyone’s favorite thing aka the most ridiculous topics google skills can dig up (this is a pretty broad category, I have a hidden talent for finding strange things on the internet). This week I focused on the most absurd horse sports (in case cross country isn’t enough for you). Here are my top ten:
1. Horse soccer. Exactly what it sounds like, but with a large exercise-style ball. The sport’s website has several videos of the game being played and personally I don’t see the appeal; ponies don’t have even half the kicking range of Landon Donovan. However according to this video training only “takes about fifteen minutes” so it won’t take you twenty years to get to the olympics, major plus!
2. The annual man vs. horse marathon. This idea was spawned in a bar (the only place something like this would make sense) and takes place in Llanwrtd Wells, Wales every year with nearly 300 competitors. The marathon is run over 22 miles and, surprise surprise, horses have won every year except for one. In 2004 a man won with a time of 2 hours 5 minutes and 19 seconds (!) so basically he ran at speeds over 10mph the whole way. The fastest horse came in 2 minutes slower. The times between the fastest runner and fastest horses are actually not that different; usually they are separated only by a few minutes.
3. Competitive mounted orienteering. Basically you go out in the wilderness with a map and a compass and have to find five hidden “objective stations.” It’s treasure hunting on horseback…but without treasure. The object is to find as many stations as possible in the shortest amount of time. Kind of like a hunter pace except you have to read a map. I don’t think I’ll be trying this one anytime soon.
4. Whatever this is called. It’s musical chairs but add ropes, cowboy hats, and horses. And take out the chairs. You gallop down to a clothesline and attempt to grab a rope; every round there is one less rope than horses, so whoever is left standing is out. I’m not sure how widely practiced this sport is, but if you have an Appaloosa (once upon a time I did, best breed ever) then you should apply at your next world championship rodeo.
5. Skijoring. This might be the weirdest one I came across… In play, a skier is dragged behind a galloping horse and has to collect rings, take jumps, and bend through poles. There are a lot of videos of skijoring floating around; I found the Europeans to be a little more legitimate than their Colorado counterparts…maybe it’s the soundtrack choice. Or equipment differences. Someone somewhere clearly got bored in the barn one day.
6. Snow Polo. Polo…but on snow. Apparently the horses have “cleated” shoes to keep up with the footing. Personally I find this sport a little unnecessary; can’t they just go to West Palm Beach like the rest of the polo crowd? The only US chapter is in Aspen, CO. Check out their website for more information.
7. Buzkashi. As the national sport of Afghanistan, this is similar to polo, only it’s played with the body of a calf or goat (yes, you read that right). Derived from ancient hunting techniques, it is a team sport and the object is to get the carcass away from the other competitors and across a goal line. BuzkashI is highly ritualized and goes back at least 800 years. Not for those with a weak stomach.
8. Cowboy mounted shooting. I’d say very few people can actually shoot a gun from a galloping horse these days, but the Cowboy Mounted Shooting Association is bringing that talent back. The riders use blank powder as shot (wait, you mean shooting bullets in a stadium while riding a horse isn’t a good idea?!) while riding around a set pattern, aiming to pop balloons. The CMSA website has a pretty impressive video of a demo round; these guys have really good aim.
9. Horse ball. This is actually a real sport that seems to draw a lot of spectators; there’s even a European league with standings and the whole shebang. Horse ball is a mix of basketball and polo; there’s a large ball that riders have to pick up from the ground and can pass it to their teammates in an attempt to get it into a net at the end of the field. This video is actually pretty entertaining; I wouldn’t mind watching a match myself. Those horses must be nearly as fit as eventers; they spend the entire time galloping.
10. Offroad Kjoering: As my memory recalls John has already posted a video of this before, but it’s too good to not mention. I can’t really tell you all the rules because the website is entirely written in German, but just watch the videos and you’ll get the gist. And if someone knows where to sign up let me know. Go Kjoering.
