EN blogger finalist Yvette Seger is back with more Tips for Eventers Living in Itty-Bitty Apartments in the City. Yvette will always be remembered for the famous Insane Walmart Ride, and we welcome her contributions to Eventing Nation.
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From Yvette:
Tips for Eventers Living in Itty Bitty Apartments in the City: The Holiday Gift Giving Edition
What do you get an FEI Steward/U.S. Pony Clubs Activities Director who has everything? Why, his own bobblehead (complete with judges box), of course! Wayne Quarles and “Lil’ Wayne” pose with Secret Santa Erin Woodall at the USPC Headquarters in Lexington, KY. Note to competitors: If you ever need to lodge an inquiry at a competition at which Wayne is officiating – request to speak to the bobblehead…rumor has it that he can only nod “yes.” (Photos courtesy of Erin Woodall)
Hey Eventing Nation! Well…I’m happy to report that I survived the first wave of holiday parties this past weekend without any major gaffes that I can remember. I was particularly happy that I didn’t intentionally make any of my coworkers’ children cry at a get together hosted by my boss, nor did I find the contents of my office stuffed in boxes and placed on the curb near the building dumpster Monday morning, so I’m going to say the score is Yvette – 2, Holiday Parties – 0. To Wednesday’s annual Office Potluck, I have only two words – BRING IT!
Unfortunately, while I seem to be managing in the non-horsey/work people social scene, I have one teensy problem…It’s December 18, and I’m still in denial about that fact that there’s like a massive holiday in a week. Christmas shopping? Pssh…So behind. Holiday cards? Yeah, whatever. But with my trip home to the Mother Land (okay, Cleveland) around the corner, and no siblings to help fill the gaps under the Seger Festivus Pole, I guess I’d better get my butt in gear…
While Tori, Ali, and Jenni have all reported on their ideas for great holiday gifts for the horsey set in previous posts (here, here, and here, respectively), I thought that for this week’s tip, I should provide a little awareness of some equestrian-themed gifts that might not resonate well with non-horsey friends and family members, so here it goes…
Tips for Eventers Living in Itty-Bitty Apartments in the City #20:
While your non-horsey friends may appreciate that the majority of your holiday wish list can be fulfilled at the local tack shop, eventers need to remember that their non-riding friends may not appreciate (and may even resent) horse themed gifts. Gifts that may fail include:
Framed Photos of You and Tonto: I’m guilty of this one every year, and this year will most likely be no different. Although Mom and Dad still pretend to be excited about the new 8 x 10” glossies of me and the beasties launching over a cool XC fence every year, I’m sure they’re probably wishing that I’d just leave the display image that comes with the frame in it so that they can pretend we’re a normal family. Or at least have a picture of someone who isn’t wearing a helmet.
Outfits for them…in your XC Colors: I’ll admit it – I’m one of those annoying riders who insists that EVERYTHING be color coordinated…including members of my posse, hence the matching bright red “Team Rabbit” baseball caps and t-shirts of Christmas a few years ago. But, with Roger retired, I’m thinking it’s time for some new Super Pony-centric duds. (Mom…Dad…I know you’re reading this, so just pretend to be excited).
A Big Bucket of Peppermints: This gift fails for two reasons. First (and most importantly), the recipient will think you are making a not-so-veiled statement about his or her breath. Second, unless they REALLY love peppermints, this gift will reek of “gas station bouquet” syndrome – you know, the “oh crap, I forgot to buy you a gift, so I stopped by the barn to grab my pony’s bucket of peppermints – aren’t they festive?” Yeah…no. Disguising it as a gift to help the recipient and your horse “bond” will also fail. This also applies to horse cookies, but I do know a few weirdos who do, in fact, eat horse cookies.
And last but not least…
Anti-Monkey Butt Powder: Really? Do you need/want me to expand on this? Does the phrase “HR Nightmare” resonate with you? Therefore, I suggest that you make like Nancy Reagan and just say no.
