From Yvette:
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Tips for Eventers Living in Itty-Bitty Apartments in the City: The Business or Pleasure Edition
Hey there, Eventing Nation! Although a late winter storm dubbed “Snowquester” is anticipated to hit the DC area mid-week, I think everyone – and by everyone, I mean men, women, children, equines, felines, canines, squirrels, birds, goats, you name it – has a touch of spring fever. This past weekend, I traveled to the Lagniappe Equestrian Center in Folsom, Louisiana to completely blow my White Spandex Pants Diet serve as the Chief Horse Management Judge for the U.S. Pony Clubs’ Deep South Region’s Eventing Rally. In contrast to the metropolitan DC area’s palette of “mud brown,” Louisiana welcomed me with bright green grass…and then a rare cold snap for the rest of the weekend. Oh Mother Nature, you are such a tease!!! But I digress…
Although I can’t speak for other eventers who spend their days pursuing completely non-horsey careers, March is the month in which I realize my life is completely foreign from those of my coworkers. While everyone else is grousing about losing an hour of sleep for Daylight Savings, I find myself doing a little tap dance on the top of my desk because it means I will finally have enough light to get a horse ridden after work. My coworkers have become all too familiar with my zebra print “barn bag” that will start making its way back to the office next week, essentially serving as a flashing neon sign that reads, “Heck no, I’m not available for a 5 pm meeting!” To compensate for my early departures, I typically return to the office post-barn, much to the chagrin to the custodial staff and any coworkers who may have thought that working late was a good idea.
Like Clark Kent, I sometimes feel like I live a double life. By day, I’m a not-so-mild mannered science policy analyst known for my penchant for animal print skirts, chunky necklaces, and vertiginous heels. In fact, I take pride that I can count the amount of times I’ve worn pants to the office during my 9 years working in DC on one hand, and goodness knows my coworkers have no idea how short I really am. And my face without makeup? Fuhgeddaboutit. During eventing season, however, my coworkers can tell (with Swiss precision, no less) when it’s 5 pm by the flurry of me darting to the ladies room with my zebra print bag. Those who happen to see me once I’ve emerged are confused…”who is this chick wearing funny pants and boots and no makeup?” By the time they’ve processed that it is, in fact, me…WHOOOOOSH…I’m already gone and fighting outbound traffic.
The transformation becomes a little more problematic upon my return to the office later in the evening; there is just something about a horse that makes me a more hospitable person. If a coworker asked for an additional day to complete an assignment that a client had been expecting yesterday, I’d flip my lid. Conversely, if my Super Pony spent an hour spooking at birds/shrubs/rocks/dressage letters, I’d laugh it off and think, “well, maybe tomorrow will be better,” and give him half a bucket of mints. And then there’s my physical appearance…apparently one doesn’t look very business-like with hay in their hair, dirty fingernails, and green slobber stains on their sleeves…Who knew? Which leads me to this week’s tip:
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Tip for Eventers Living in Itty Bitty Apartments in the City #31
It is highly recommended that eventers with non-equestrian professional lives proceed with caution when considering exposing co-workers to their “horse life.” First, I’ve found that it’s hard for coworkers to take you seriously once they’ve seen you in breeches, for some reason. Second, they will be confused by the fact that the office bulldog can be reduced to cooing by something as simple as a horse taking a dump. Thirdly, there is the obvious language barrier; trust me, they wouldn’t know a “Swedish” if it smacked them in the face, and talk of the “Coffin” will have them thinking you’re a Twilight fan. Finally – and most importantly, at least in my opinion – a few hours at the barn or at a horse trial may result in your coworkers questioning your basic hygiene skills after a they see you “share” snacks with your horse, experience a day filled with commentary related to which port-a-potty is the “least gross” (even better if they told that the closest bathroom involves squatting in the trailer), and have the misfortune of dining out with you in your sweaty cross country attire. If you are even remotely questioning their ability to handle any of these situations without being totally skeeved out, I suggest that you stick to showing them nice, unscented photos of you and your horse rather than risking the career that helps subsidize your crazy hobby.
