The tattoo I got after my baby girl passed away. "Tenacious" means stubbornly courageous and then "Me Fuerst" for my little girl. It's a reminder to me to always keep fighting no matter what happens.
Ahhh, the life of horses. One minute you’re flying high, and the next minute, you’re face is in the dirt. Anyone that has horses for any amount of time knows that the highs are high and the lows can be really really low. I think, as eventers, we know this even better than most. Our sport is packed with adrenaline, smiles, tears, heartbreak, fears, and cheers. Some shows leave us dancing on air with excitement, while others leave us wondering what’s next.
My year started out pretty awesome with Bug and I moving up to Advanced and rocking around some pretty awesome courses. After my crash and burn at Chatt and then the Bromont debacle, not only was I learning eventing lessons, but life started hitting me pretty hard. My baby girl passed away, my retired eventer was diagnosed with EPM, and the list goes on. It seemed like just when I would stand back up, life would knock me down again. The tough thing about being any kind of athlete is that not only do you have to deal with the disappointments of your sport, but you have to deal with life disappointments on top of that. When your two worlds collide, things can really seem like they’re falling apart.
In my younger years, I fell completely apart when things went awry. I am a planner. I plan, plan, plan, and when things don’t go as I expect, I have a hard time dealing with it. Enter horses. You can’t be like that with horses! I have learned a lot of hard lessons through the years, and dealing with disappointment has been one of them. When you are competitively natured, you find it very hard to just let things go and move on. You want to analyze what went wrong and beat yourself up over messing it up. Or, at least, that’s what I do! I know that we are all a bit guilty of that, right?!? If we are true horsemen, we are always searching for what we can do better to help our horses, not just blaming it on the horse.
Someone close to me and very, very wise told me, “Put all of the bad things that happened today on a piece of paper. Put them all in a paper bag and take them outside and burn them. They’re gone. Move on to what’s next.” What a thought! That is an amazing way to approach life in general and especially with horses. I am striving to be that kind of person. One who analyzes the problem, figures out what needs to be fixed and moves on. No baggage. Just learning. That is my new goal in life.
The mental game of this sport is as hard, if not harder, than the actual riding. Make sure you have a strong support system, no matter what level you are eventing. Have a coach that cares about you and your horse. One that knows your goals and helps you achieve them, but that also keeps you realistic and grounded. (If they don’t keep you grounded, your horse or life might do it for you!)
I am sure that everyone that just competed at the Olympics has things that they have had to work through. Those standing on the podium are at their highest, while others may still be kicking themselves. We all fight the mental battle from the top of the sport all of the way down to the beginning levels. Whatever doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, right? (or at least, that’s what Kelly Clarkson says!)
