Best of Craigslist: Just for Laughs

Need a giggle? These Craigslist ads are sure to make you chuckle.

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MAGICAL HORSE

 

Hello, this is my lovely horse legacy. He has been in my family for 5 years. He truly is a wonderful creature. At night, his mane glows like the brightest of juptiers moons. It is what we in the horse world call “magical”. I give him daily protein shakes to make sure he countinues to grow big and strong. I don’t know when he’ll stop growing, he’ll probably countinue to until his time comes. Please be prepared to accommodate a horse the size of a small tank if you plan on keeping him for more then a month. I feed him a strict diet of cucumbers and horseradish. Some people say that it’s sick to feed a horse horseradish, but sense horse radish doesn’t actually have horse in it, I’m sure it’s ok.
800 OBO if you have any albino chickens we may be able to negotiate. Or 800 dollars worth of Fred Meyers gift cards so I can countinue to buy horseradish for my other horse.
In order to ensure your not spam, please say “you have a magnificent stead on your hands I’d like to obtain. I’m pretty sure no telephone operator from overseas can say that correctly.
  • Location: Anchorage
  • it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

 

 

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Idiot dog to any home

$20 to cover cost of electric training collar. This dog is a North American Black and Tan Jackass, 2 years old and has ADHD. Likes to dig. Will dig his own water bowls. He will eat any kind of food or non-foods. In the past he has eaten and returned: two pig-shaped corn holders, pencils (found metal and eraser), matchbox cars, a spoon, everything out of the compost bin, and a diamond necklace. He’s REALLY friendly and will hump any dog or small child he can find. Yes, he’s neutered. Excellent jumper. Would be a great foxhunter if he was a horse. Can not walk in a straight line. Can not be walked in town. He will have a meltdown; yipping, spinning, and working himself up so much that he will collapse from the sheer mental exhaustion that comes from walking to the corner store. Will not bark at strangers in your home. Attention span maxes out at 4 seconds. Not food, toy, clicker, or praise motivated. You can watch his brain shut off. His eyes go vacant in a blink. Pulls. Pulls HARD. Wear gloves while working with him. I have lost skin from the leash being ripped from my hands. Will respond to shock collar beep and occasionally vibrate settings. Ignores shock setting. If you are interested in adopting Dingus, let me know. I’ll leave him attached to the mailbox for pickup.
In case you haven’t guessed, this ad is for venting purposes only. You should have seen how bad he was as a puppy.

  • Location: Loudoun
  • it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

 

 

 

 

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2 Dozen Free Goats

I have 2 dozen goats I need to get rid of. I had no idea raising goats would be this hard. These little bastards keep eating all my wife’s flowers and climbing on our ******* cars. Nobody told me they were such good climbers. The first person to get these damn goats out of here can have them.
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