Best of Craigslist — Life is Random

wtf-pics-dial-a-llama

It’s time to dig into the dregs of my Craigslist box of absurdity.  Today’s lineup is like a box of chocolates: you never know what you’re gonna get.  Goats, killer llama, tattoos…the internet is indeed a vast, strange place.  If you stumble across a particularly good ad, submit it to [email protected] and it might make the next BoC! 

————————- 

In this grand World Wide Web invented by Al Gore, there happens a unique, bizarre bazaar phenomenon of Craigslist.  Part eBay, part flea market, part redneck yard sale, Craigslist is a free-for-all classified site where good deals can be found in any category from cars to dishwashers to tarantulas .  It’s like treasure hunting from your keyboard, and you never quite know what you’ll find.  Craigslist frequently has a few equine-related listings; the quality and content of which may vary widely.  Thus, for your entertainment, we now bring you THE BEST OF CRAIGSLIST


If you think Craigslist is only for equids…


LAND CLEARING GOATS (starting at $75.  Alachua County)

One Goat, One Acre per year. Clearing, maintaining and, bonus, Fertilizer. Sell surplus goats for extra cash. They Eat Weeds and improve pastures. Goats can be used for Agricultural Exemption. They trim trees up and maintain making it easy to maneuver and see in the woods. Goats are easy keepers, sociable, good companions for people and animals. If you like they can be milked and the milk used to make cheese, yogurt or ice cream.
We have percentage Boer GOATS FOR SALE $75.00 and up. Gainesville Fl.

  • Bonus, fertilizer?  Sell surplus goats?  Somehow I don’t see this as being a good idea.


Llama – Guard Purposes Only!

Beautiful fully intacked red & white male Lama. For Guard Purposes Only! Lugie knows his job; and, does not differentiate whether he removes a varmit, a human, or a vehicle from the pasture he is protecting. Extremely protective of ‘his’ designated area. Dangerous and unpredictable; absolutely not for the novice owner. Great guard for goat, sheep, or cattle herd. No problems with other animals that belong where he is located; just everything and anything else intruding. Halter-broke, will lead, will come when called. I cannot stress enough how dangerous this animal can be . . . he almost killed me! Would prefer he not go to anyone in the Tidewater area; would be great in a mountain pasture situation, where coyotes are a problem. Make me an offer I cann’t refuse.       Chesapeake, VA

  • Um, perhaps the animal might be less dangerous if he were “un-tacked?”  And what kind of offers is he going to refuse for an animal that tried to kill him?  (thanks to one of our loyal readers for emailing this listing to us!) 

More crazy trade deals…

Want to trade tattoo work for horse/by professional artist


Date: 2010-02-27, 11:20AM EST


 

I’m looking for a horse or two for the wife. Weanlings (6 months and up), yearlings or broke adult gelding or mare. In return, I’m a professional tattoo artist and can tattoo in exchange for the horse or horses. I have flash art to choose from or you pick your own tattoo, sleeves or separate tattoos you tell me. I do have a portfolio to review. Can email photos of some of my work to you. Safe, sterile, bright colors and professional attitude have over 15 years experience not some young amateur.

Email me with picture and description of horse and temperment.

Thanks

  • Who’d have thought tattoo ink could be valuable currency?  Only on Craigslist.

Im looking to trade miniature horses for classic cars – $10 (somerset ky )


Date: 2010-03-05, 6:34PM EST


 

I have about 250 miniature horses all have papers. Im willing to trade on about anything. you can email me for more info.

  • 250 minis?!  That seems a bit excessive.  Perhaps a little hoarding disorder, maybe?  Or is this a “mini mill?”  How many minis would you want for a ’72 Mustang?

Gender identity crises…

!~!~!~!~!HORSE!~!~!~!~! (OWSLEY/BOONEVILLE)

Date: 2010-03-25, 11:07AM EDT

think he may be a gelding, not sure, no papers, but he is 14-15 hands high, chestnut color with flax color mane, about 7 years old, broken to ride if u know how to ride.

  • “Not sure”?  Either there are parts…or there aren’t.  Methinks that’s kind of important to know before you acquire a horse.  


two cheap horses make offer/trade

Date: 2010-02-26, 1:11PM EST

i have two standerd breed horses for sale one mare and one male! the mare is broke but has no been rode for a few years and the male is not broke and he is being called a male instead of a stud because i don’t know if he has been cut or not i can’t see a sack but he is supposed to be a stud both horses are real gental i can walk upto eighter one in the pasture or the yard both horses will stat behind one strand of barb wire! i know this because a few weeks ago some of my fence post rotted off and a whole section of fence fell down and they never offered to come out! i will sell these two horses real cheap but i will not give them away for the right price i will include a new saddle never been on a horse and a new bridle and some old tack i have! so make me an offer! i’m only selling these two horses because i fell off a load of logs afew years back and messed my back up and cant ride over 10 minutes at atime! i keep the horses hopeing to get better so i could ride them but after 2 years i know i can’t! they must go to a good home will sell seperate! I WILL TRADE FOR ALMOST ANYTHING SO LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE! i can also deliver the horse for a fee!

  • Well, at least he’s sure one’s male, despite the lack of visible “sack.”  Good to know that they stay (I’m assuming “stat” is a typo) behind a strand of barbed wire, and won’t wander when your rotten fence falls down.  Yikes.

Comments

Leave a Reply