Best of Craigslist Rides Again

The odd, the ignorant, and the bizarre, with enough typos and grammar errors to make this site seem articulate.  Has to be Craigslist! 

 

 

LIKE TO TRADE FOR HORSE – $1 (HAMLET)


 

I HAVE A NICE SOFA AND CHAIRS IN EXCELLENT CONDITION VERY RARELY SAT UPON COST $1200 NEW A COUPLE OF YRS AGO WOULD LIKE TO TRADE FOR A BEGINNER FRIENDLY HORSE UNDER 15YRS OLD CALL 910-206-****

  • Location: HAMLET
  • it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

image 0 image 1

*******

Heaven help the horse who is traded for that furniture.  I would rarely sit upon it either!

*******

 

17 month old palomino fillie – $450 (Tylertown)


 

Nice Lil mare. I started longing her and she is doing good. Just needs some more work on her. I don’t got time to fool wit her. Aqua registered. Clean coggins U can pick up all 4 feet and brush her I really like the Lil colt but don’t have the time to finish her Text for more info / pictures. 985-515-****.
P.s. Dats not no white spot on her hip.

 

*******

I don’t know what “dat” is either.  Are Aqua-registered horses trans-gendered?

*******

  

 

wanting appolosa gelding (i was from Fillmore Mo)


Hello my mother in-law traded my 9 yr old appolosa gelding for some cows and a pig. I now the couple was from nebraska but dont have any information. was wanting my horse back if u have him will trade his colt for him or pay. my phone # is 816-205-****-or 816-205-**** please call or text if you know where hes at. Please

*******
Moral of the story: don’t piss off your mother-in-law
*******

 

Cardinalis Equidae (Pegasus) – $10000 (Butler, MO)


Yes, half horse and half bird. I call it (Cardinalis Equidae). Hand made, full size attention getter, constructed out of 20 guage metal, the remains of an old Allis chalmers hay baler. Note “Allis Chalmers” on the tail. I am a writer and an artist, of sorts, and I used this to present the popular novel called OBITUARY OF CHARLIE WHITEHORSE, a famous Bates County rodeo horse. Makes a gang buster attention getter or yard ornament. Would be good in front of a business or a standing out in front of your ranch. This is the only Cardinalis Equidae in existance in the world. Kind of like a Rembrandt. Comes with a trailer too. Just hook on and drive away. Might partially trade for a d-14or15 Allis Chalmers tractor. 660-679-****

  • Location: Butler, MO
  • it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

image 0 image 1

*******

Call it whatever you want (I’d call it an ugly pinto pegasus) but I still don’t think it’s worth $10,000!

*******

 

Here’s another Craigslist ad just sent to us from loyal reader Marjean:

 

PURPLE HALTER FOR SALE. PONY SIZED

I have a used bright purple pony halter for sale.  Adjustable and in fairly good condition.    A pony will be included with the halter.  I currently call this pony “Juicy” although he goes by many other names as well, depending on my mood and his behavior.  This pony is just waiting to become someone’s little dream pony.  This 12.2 hand, 7 yr old pony is fantastic, if you are into the type of equine that is is constantly invading your space/vehicle, etc.    He believes he needs to be everywhere you need to be, especially when food is present.    He is in great shape, if you consider round a shape.    He never met a horse trailer he didn’t like and climbs in them every chance he gets, whereupon he immediately puts his feet up on the manger so he can look out the window.  He made it halfway in the back of my car the other day before I noticed and sped off.    He LOVES little kids, especially little kids with treats.  He will eat them.  (the kids, not the treats) Just kidding.   This pony has been worked over 2’6″ jumps and lunged over 3’3″ jumps.  However, he likes jumping my 4 ft. pasture gates the best.  He could absolutely be someone (else’s) dream pony.    He’s very affectionate, both with people(especially women) and horses(especially mares).  This little guy is the neighborhood gigolo.  By affectionate, I mean he will have no issue invading your personal space/private parts, if you know what I mean.  He sticks his nose wherever he wants.  With mares, he is lucky he is quick because he will mount  mares, even the ones who have “a headache.”  He is not at all discriminating, although I’ve noticed he likes the fuller figured gals.  His absolute favorite is mounting a mare while a woman is on the mare.  Ask my friend Lisa, I’m sure she considered that a good time.  And when rejected?  You can see that he is clearly thinking that the female is merely playing hard to get.  This just makes him more determined.  This porky little guy very much thinks that he’s got what the ladies want, even if they don’t know it yet.  He reminds me of the little guy at the bar who hits on everybody, whom you practically have to blow an air horn in his face to get rid of.  This pony has been on television, which probably adds to his ego trip.  He could be the perfect little dream pony(for someone else).    He walks/trots/canters/jumps, takes trips to the mailbox and to check the waters, goes trail riding, swims, poses on stripper poles(ask me), tests your trailer floor weight limits, tests your trailer emergency walk through doors, taste tests anything and everything, steals food from blind horses, tried to mount my dog(it is a big dog), stands tied patiently to the swing set while my son swings, loves to roll in the sand box, allows little kids to mount him from lawn chairs, buckets, swingsets, clubhouses, ladders, gates, side of the trailer and anywhere else, pulls little kids on sleds in the snow, tries to decapitate adults by running them under arena railings, and so much more.   Did I mention that he could be the perfect little dream pony(for someone else)?  “Juicy” is also a fantastic workout companion. I think I’ve lost at least 15 lbs since I’ve had him. I’ve never run so much in my life, either after him or from him.  Though his little flabby butt cheeks closely resemble two pigs fighting under a blanket, he got me in wonderful shape.   I firmly believe he’s a dream pony (someone’s else’s dream, that is).  Call me if you want a used purple halter and are a glutton for punishment.  734-218-****

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
0 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments