Choosing Unity Over Division

Photo by Leslie Wylie.

It’s no secret the world of equestrian sports has had its fair share of adversity to overcome due to more progressive issues coming out of the past year. Hard-to-swallow pills such as the realization our little world is not as inclusive as we think it is have us facing harsh realities like ‘what is the root of why persons of color are a minority in our sport?’ and examining historical names of large events. There is much to divide us.

When I started riding I tossed my hat into the hunter ring like many students in my area, and while I personally never felt the pressure to compete, I also never felt completely included either. Later on as an adult, after finding my way into an eventing barn I would experience my first example of the (at times) stark difference between disciplines, and realized I felt at home with my fellow eventers. An event adorned riders who were excited to greet me, who clapped as I cried — embarrassingly as I trotted through my first cross country course, they clapped and yelled ‘good ride’ when I hung my head coming out of a jumper ring having been eliminated yet again, and they asked what show they’d see me at next in my first dressage test. Eventers seem to exude pure excitement and encouragement and wish same joy on everyone who gives it a try.

At the entrance of SafeSport, many took to Facebook — and the comments flowed. But my picture perfect fairytale I had made eventers out to be in my head reared its ugly side. Shame, but yet again social media and our differences got the better of us. I caught myself on more than one occasion thinking the worst of people — people I had once respected and looked to for advice and examples of their riding.  They were riders whose images of their farms I admired, their horses I ogled over, their training posts I’d once ‘liked’, and I had to remind myself that’s what mattered.

Coming out of such uncertain and unnavigated times like COVID and election year on top of it all, uninformed or unfounded opinions were prevalent. Stress levels were and are high, and even the occasional upper level eventer got mixed up in the mess, losing once loyal “followers.” When did we become once again, so divided?

It’s difficult enough explaining what we do to non-horsey people (as I childishly refer to them), and I’d be lying through my teeth if I said my stomach doesn’t sink a little every time someone says “oh so you ride?” assuming their preconceived notion is nothing short of the equivalent of a pony ride in comparison to what our discipline lends. The ONE thing that I always stressed to these people was, “It’s hard to explain, it’s unlike any other sport” because, in actuality that part is true. I unapologetically tell people how different we are as riders; how the bond we have with our animals is unlike any other love for a sport, the trust we instill in them can only be truly understood by another rider — of any discipline, and when anyone tells me they ride I instantly know they “get it.”

Make no mistake — I am as opinionated as they come, I’m vocal, I’m abrupt, and sometimes my poise fails me. I curse a lot, I roll my eyes at my trainer occasionally, I’ve even been known to call my horse a name or two (gasp!). As the product of a politician, I have had many an occasion to defend my family and myself, and know there is a place for politics in this world.  But as riders we have to do better. We have to rise against all the divisiveness and unapologetically tell people how different we are as riders. The love for the sport, and most importantly the horse, is what bonds us all, and we must hold that at the forefront of our hearts.

To the people who’ve denied me reasonable conversations: I’ll still love your pictures, still drool over your horses, ask about pole exercises, look for your clinics, and yell “have a great ride!” at the start box, regardless of your politics.

I know our world is small, but we have to stick together. We have to show the world it’s OK to have differing opinions, that as a sport we can choose passion and unity over our differences.

About the author: I’m a 32-year-old eventer under the most amazingly patient trainer out of the Eastern shore of MD. I’m a first time horse owner to an incredible unicorn and have ridden for 26 years.