My twitter profile (johnvacy) lists my bio as
Father, husband, Eventer, accidental writer, check out eventingnation.com ESJ is me. Traveler & photographer. TD (Eventing) & advocate for Eventing safety.
I also have a career, I work in disability services as a Fundraiser and Business Development Manager. But as we know “horse people” are not known for doing one thing at a time or doing anything in half measures so one ends up with an extremely busy and hard to balance life.
When you are younger and without children it can almost be all about horses and earning enough to support your habit. If you have a partner too, then finding the time to be a good partner must also come into the mix and besides every rider needs a groom.
But having a family changes things in ways you never imagined. For me the one thing that was a monumental change was that I found I no longer had the courage for XC. Not because I was scared of getting injured but because of the possible consequences for my family.
I love nothing more than riding XC, the thrill, the adrenaline, the accomplishment and the partnership with your horse. But now I can’t just say too bad I was injured doing something I love.
These days I don’t even own a horse, riding was one of the things I have had to give up, ironically in pursuit of my Eventing dreams. Why, well simply if I am going to ride, I want to do it regularly. Train well and put in 100% effort. I can’t do that so I don’t do it at all. 
What I do do is my work as a TD, this year that includes two trips overseas, Red Hills and Burghley. My work for EN, something I am thoroughly enjoying but it takes up a bit of time. I really do love the writing but also the thrill of unearthing a story and bringing it to our community.
All of these things happen in addition to my career, my work in Eventing Safety and my life as a father and husband.
This is where I find I am walking a tightrope. My two young boys Kyle 7 and Ethan 5 are adventurous, demanding and intelligent. That means when I neglect them or miss an opportunity to do something with them, not only do I regret it personally, I am reminded that we didn’t do this or that by the boys.
One of the areas that carries the biggest heartache in our family is holidays. I get four weeks paid leave a year, plus I have bought an extra 2 weeks so a total of 6 weeks leave a year. This year as with the last few, I have used most of my leave on Eventing.
I know there is no simple answer to finding the balance, I am still finding a way to navigate the path of being good at everything I do, including being a father and a husband.
I love my Eventing and I love my family, but I love my family more and I need to try harder at getting the balance right.
Yours in Eventing,
ESJ
