It’s time to mention the “unmentionables.” There are days when it’s over a hundred degrees when you ride. You might walk anywhere between 4 and 8 miles at any given horse trial, between your course walk, and back and forth between the competition areas. Perhaps you ride several horses in a day for hours at a time at home. Of course your horses like to play in the farthest reaches of the back 40, so you bet you’re going to hike back there to get them. Let’s talk about how the comfort of your “vital areas” are, well, vital.
I know, I know … no one actually wants to have this conversation. However I have found that it’s time we stopped suffering so that we can concentrate on what’s really important, like our performance in the ring! Introducing TomboyX!
TomboyX offers a range of “incredibly luxurious, silky soft, and feather-light” gender-neutral under-items in a MicroModal fabric that “are made to hug any body, including yours,” according to their website. I tested the 4.5 inch Zodiac trunks, the 6 inch boxer briefs, and 9 inch Nude boxer briefs. Right off the bat I was blown away the super-soft fabric. A breathable stretch that they claim “never rides up,” TomboyX is right. I rode 7 horses, walked to multiple pastures dozens of times, and cleaned stalls. I paced back and forth while teaching lessons and even sat my No-Stirrup November trot. I was amazed. At no point, EVER, did I reach to rescue my regions from the ride up.
Without going into the gory details, sometimes things can get rather warm. Perhaps salty. Anyone who has taken a dressage lesson with a Grand Prix trainer in Florida knows that when you finally make to the shower at the end of the day, you allegedly weep when the water touches your skin because of what feels like rope burns. Perhaps there is friction in certain areas thanks to your saddle or excessive riding. In the search for comfort, you don’t want to have a frumpy booty that looks like you are wearing ill-fitting under-items. The terms “munch butt” and “VPL” are never things you want whispered as you walk by at a three-day event. TomboyX trunks are designed to hug “every body” from XS to 4X, and have been fit-tested, according to their site. I believe this to be true; when you follow them on Facebook or Instagram you constantly see different body types modeling their products.
But why the trunks? To me there are certain skimpy skivvies that some people wear while riding that may eliminate the bunching and VPL issues, but to be honest by the end of a long day I feel that I am being split in two. Traditional brief-y underthings often have an effect that over time and miles that will actually cut your inner thighs, and also lead to a diaper-looking disaster of your derriere. Remember that one time you lunged your event horse without gloves? It feels like that, only it’s down there. TomboyX has trunks without seams or elastic in those spots. So dare I say it? NO chafing.
For everyday riding and darker breeches, TomboyX has a whole host of adorable colors and patterns! Just because they are comfy doesn’t mean they have to be basic — boring! They have a pattern for every style, like penguins, flamingos, octopus, bewitched, trick or treat, purple camo, catnap, dog days, rainbow pride, and even holiday prints! Who doesn’t love snow-shoveling, candy-cane-carrying flamingos?
For competition days, they offer a range of nude shades for every body from the palest pale (me) to luxuriously chocolate, and discreetly keep you comfortable at the most stressful shows. No ride up. No tug. No rub. The 9″ Nude Boxer Briefs were extremely form fitting and flattering without strangling my innards. They fit like a lighter version of exercise shorts. I found these drawers are second to none with their softness and they are perfect for protecting vital areas during a hot show. Because of their design they do not produce lines or wrinkles in unflattering ways. I’ve tried other flesh-tone shorts-style items from the department store. Apparently the only humans who purchase these ghastly items are trying to fit in clothing that is two sizes too small, so they contain most atrocious control top where I can actually feel my liver relocating during my dressage test. TomboyX is so stretchy and soft, that I could concentrate on my movements and not on my pantaloons. I mean, I’m already sick with nerves before I enter the ring, so why would I want to be tortured by my scanties on top of that?
Not that it really matters what you look like under your breeches … but these also got my husband’s nod of approval. At no point did he laugh, point, and exclaim, “what on earth are you wearing?!” as he has done in the past with my quest to find comfortable undergarments. He thought these were cute and flattering, as he was my photographer. And let’s be honest. Sometimes you change clothes in a stall at a horse trial. Someone might see you. These look like shorts.
TomboyX underwear are Eco-Friendly, ethically produced, and sweat-shop free. So you can proudly put on these ‘pants’ with a clear conscience. Founders Fran and Naomi created TomboyX to fill a void — to fit regular bodies that anyone could feel comfortable, “regardless of where they fell on the size or gender spectrum.” You spend hours and dollars making sure your horse is comfortable, down to the smallest detail. But what about you? Can you honestly say you haven’t gone for a tell-tale tug, when no one is looking? I’m not ashamed to admit that I have. Can you say, like a popular toilet paper commercial says, that you feel “fresh as a shimmering mermaid?” If not, it’s time to try TomboyX.
Excitement: **** 4 Stars
Durability: **** 4 Stars
Variety: ***** 5 Stars