"Our Bond" Photo by Jordan Lambert
This picture is probably my all time favorite. I love the shots of my horse and I soaring over huge XC fences, but there is just something about this picture that touches me. It shows the indescribable bond between my horse and I. People that don’t ride don’t really get it. There are even people that do ride that don’t really get it. That makes me sad. The trust that I have in my boy and he in me is something that makes me feel complete. I don’t have children, nor do I really have any desire to have any, but I think that is probably the only other thing that compares. (I know, I know, there is NOTHING like being a parent) My horse gives me his all, and he trusts me to take care of him and make the right decisions for him.
Sinead Halpin just wrote a very good blog about the reasoning behind the decisions she made for her horse. I admire her horsemanship, and her willingness to put her horse’s best interest first. Decisions like that can make or break your dreams. Owning a horse at any level takes a lot of responsibility. However, now that I am riding at the upper levels, I have found that the amount of pressure you feel is so much greater. The reward can feel that much bigger, but the consequences of a bad decision can be that much more.
I tend to run through the online forums now and then, and it never ceases to amaze me how many people criticize the decisions that others make about their horses. Yes, if you are going to be an upper level rider, you are asking to be in the spotlight. People are going to judge you. That is human nature. However, as fellow horse lovers, I would think that people would cut them a little slack. I am by no means a BNR (Big Name Rider), but I am already feeling the pressure of making the right decisions. I feel like I have worked very, very hard, and I am living my dreams. I don’t want to make one wrong step and have it all come crashing down.
After my Bromont debacle, my competitive nature wanted to run right back out and compete. I wanted to prove that I could do it. That I wouldn’t let that one split-second mistake shadow my season. I had applied for the grant to go to Rebecca Farm, and I had every intention of going if I got it. However, during my vacation, I started thinking long and hard. Was that what was really best for my horse? Was I doing it for myself or for him? Were we really ready to head straight back out on a big trip? When I was honest with myself, I realized the answer was “No” to all of these questions. The other day, I got the e-mail saying I had received the grant. It was with a heavy heart that I had to write back to them and kindly decline. I was so honored to receive this grant, and it was so difficult to turn down. All I had to do was go out to the barn and have my amazing pony push his head into my chest. That’s all it took. I knew I had made the right decision. It was just not fair to him to turn around and make another huge trip. We aren’t ready.
My point in telling this story is not to make myself look good. Trust me, I battled my inner competitor for a long time. I am telling this because I want people to understand how difficult it is to be put in that sort of position. To have to fight what you *think* you want with what is really right. These amazing athletes of ours can sometimes make us feel like we can do anything. We have to force ourselves to stop and think about what is reality. One of my favorite quotes came from a magnet on my parents’ refrigerator, “Don’t give up your long term dreams for what you want today.” I’m not sure who said it, but I love it.
I know that all of the riders prepping for the Olympics are feeling a lot of pressure right now. I give a lot of credit to Marilyn Little-Meredith for making the decision that was right for her horse, even though it went against what she really wanted. That is true horsemanship. We, as spectators, need to trust that our riders are doing what is best. If things backfire, instead of pointing fingers, we need to remember that we are all human. We all make mistakes. We can hope and pray that the results of bad decisions do not cost us our horses. Hindsight is 20/20.
I hope that we can all unite as horse lovers, crazy eventers, and friends and support each other. You never know when a big decision will fall in your lap, and you will need all of the support you can get.
