Last week, I wrote a post titled “Why I do this sport.” I wasn’t sure how it would be received; I liked it, but I have learned that sometimes you never can tell how your audience will react to what you write. Some things you think are a huge hit turn out to be nothing, some things you think are silly filler turn out to be fan-favorites. I was pleasantly suprised by the positive feedback…I hadn’t intended to move anyone to tears, but those words came from my heart and are how I honestly feel about this sport. I must have hit the bullseye, because it seems like you all feel the same way. That’s one of the things I love about this site, how it can bring all of us eventers together.
A reader emailed me in response to the article, and it was so good I just had to share it. Many of us know the feelings contained in this email; we’ve been there, felt the heartbreak and the hope, and the determination to carry on and try again.
So, today I share with you that email. Carrie’s story.
Hey Visionaire –
(I apologize in advance for the length of this email as I am sure you get a ba-zillion a day…)
Not sure you remember or not…a little while back, I sent you in my profile …well, a LOT has changed since then. Pretty much the week before I sent you that email, Chester suffered what was (unbeknown to me at the time) a season ending (possibly worse) injury… Being as versed as you are, I am sure you know what UFP [Upper Fixated Patella] is…as a result of him being reared up onto out in the field, it caused his hips to be dis-placed, which needed adjusting, three times, which ended up with him not being ridden for 4 or 5 weeks, which caused the tendons over his patella to loosen…. sigh….it has been 9 weeks since it happened and it has been the longest 9 weeks of my life.
We went from being on Top of the World (the weekend before we went to a schooling show where he proceeded to jump around several 2″6 to 3ft courses like it was NOTHING and didn’t touch/look at a THING…I could FEEL how proud he was of himself…I don’t think I had been more proud of anything in my life) to the absolute lowest you could ever feel…Poof…Just. Like. That. You want disappointment…? Well, there you go. I was devastated.
For the past 4 weeks, I have been administering external blistering (which is a treat.. and I almost get my head taken off on a regular basis…ha) and mixing loooong trot sets up and down hills and easy ring work over pole and cavaletti grids (walk/trot only) in the hopes that the muscle builds up again in his flanks and butt which will help pull the tendon taught so we can move onwards and upwards. (The good good good news is, that there is absolutely ZERO lameness, he just catches every so often with that awful ‘clicking’ noise…makes me shudder.) It hasn’t been easy…as any athlete going through rehab, he was ouchie, cranky and the complete opposite of his normal quirky, eccentric , loveable self. But I have made him press on and much like your mare, he LOVES praise. All he needs me to do is give him a pat and tell him: It’s okay. I know it feels weird, but trust me it will get better…’ and I can almost feel him sigh and say, ‘okay, I might not believe you, but I trust you so if you say so’.
Over the past 4 weeks, we have covered miles and miles outside and it has been good bonding time. He has gone from being a complete spookaholic space-cadet-tourist who is determined to see my a$s hit the dirt, (I think I told you before he is spooky and scared of everything) to a horse who understands why he is out there trotting miles upon miles upon miles and who is now confident that the rocks, trees, grass and sky etc are not going to eat him. Now, rather then his trot being all over the place with his head up in the air like a giraffe paying attention to everything EXCEPT what he should be doing…he takes big bold trot steps, looks where he is going, holds his line, keeps his ears pricked and listens to me every step of the way. Confidence.
Not going to lie – there were a couple times when I burst into tears out there at the thought of Chester not ever being able to event (the chance is slim, but it is still there nonetheless) and kept asking myself ‘Why did this have to happen’ over and over again. (I’m teetering on tearing up again now, it’s hard to write about.)
So – Why do I do this? I do this because I believe in my horse. I do this, because I know that my horse is special. He deserves every single opportunity to show everyone who ever told him that he would ‘never be an event horse’ to shut it. I do it for the moments when he finally gets it and understands just how special he really is and what a strong team we actually are. I fall in love with him again for the first time every single day that goes by and I get more and more proud of him every single day that goes by…THAT is why I do this…
Thanks for writing that article…it was a doozie!
Thank you for reading, Carrie. And for sharing that with us.
