Valonia-Photo by Denny Emerson.
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Earlier this week a friend of mine from Burlington trailered down for a jump lesson with Denny. After the lesson was over a number of us were standing around, hanging out in the cool barn aisle, like we so often do. There were four of us standing there chatting. At one point I mentioned how spectacular my friend’s young thoroughbred gelding looked this year. How immature and green he had looked a couple years ago, and now this year he was very impressive jumping big boy jumps and looking like he knew his job all of a sudden. She replied and commented on how ecstatic she was with her young horse and how excited she was to move him up to training at GMHA this weekend. She said she wasn’t really thinking in terms of going Advanced someday (because she’s a world traveler and a dedicated Indian dancer), but instead wanted to have fun with her young and talented horse and if the timing was right then she would test his wings. In the meantime she was happy to go Training and try and qualify for a long format Training three-day at Waredaca this summer.
That morning as we stood around chatting about our goals and whether or not we would ever be competing in FEI events, I found myself pondering this conversation for days. As mentioned there were four of us standing there that morning. It seemed as though two out of four of us were not really thinking in terms of going Advanced, while one was absolutely on that road (even though she never said anything….she didn’t need to), and the other (myself) was pretty sure of what she wanted but was simultaneously filled with doubt.
When I was a little girl I remember reading a book every night, setting that book down and before I turned off my light I would gaze into my poster above my bed. I specifically remember looking up at one of my idols, Ingrid Klimke jumping some enormous xc fence. I would stare at this poster so long that I would almost imagine that I was her in that saddle, jumping that fence, with that spectacular horse underneath me. These were my dreams. Then I shut my light off.
Fast forward to this weekend at GMHA. I was fortunate enough to go spend the better part of my Sunday at GMHA, which was xc day. I walked out to the water complex and made it just in time to watch my friend (the one standing in the barn aisle that morning). I watched as she galloped up to a decent sized brush and not long after turned down a short steep hill to the water. They quietly but decidedly dropped down into the water, cantered through and out a few strides to a coop. They looked amazing and I was so happy for her. She and her young horse conquering their first Training event together.
As I watched riders tackle the water jump and several fences before and after, I thought to myself, how many riders competing this weekend are or have been big time riders? How many would peak at Training level, and how many would never even make it to Training level? I often find myself comparing my own experience to other riders’ experiences and inevitably becoming deterred. I desperately want to compete at the upper levels someday and then I realize I am going Novice and Training level. I also start harping on the fact that perhaps people, sponsors, trainers, and other riders take you less seriously until you are solidly attacking hard prelim courses and above (and doing well at these levels). Then I realize how stupid and destructive this way of thinking is.
Some people have goals and others don’t. Some people pushed themselves to the max in college while others hid out in their dorm room partying. Some people are highly motivated while others are not. I have always been very ambitious, motivated and have had clear goals. I have always wanted to compete at the upper levels in eventing. When you’re only going training and your goal has always been to go Advanced and you’re almost 30 years old, it seems not hard to believe that one can become incredibly anxious, frustrated, and at times lose sight of their goals. If anyone ever feels like this, or has felt like this perhaps try thinking in terms of short term goals. This seems to help me tremendously. For instance, this year I want to tackle all these Training events and go Prelim at such and such event in September. Or, this year I want to qualify for a one-star. Or this season I want to get my horse used to going to different places and seeing different sights. Make it simple. Make it precise. Make it short term. Make it attainable. Maybe some of us are on the road towards FEI, and some of us will never be, but no matter what your goals, how immense or how small, never doubt yourself for one minute.
Skybreaker, photo courtesy of Flatlands Photo.
