Tips for Eventers Living in Itty-Bitty Apartments in the City: Gift Wrapping 101
Has your horse been acting ungrateful this holiday season? Get your revenge by making him/her pose for your own “Awkward Family Photo” in matching Santa hats. And yes, I was stoked to find red and black Santa hats, thankyouverymuch.
(Photo Courtesy of GRC Photo)
Merry Christmas, Eventing Nation! I’ve traded in my itty-bitty apartment in the city for a few days of serving as my parents’ personal IT slave visiting my parents in Ohio. Knowing that this holiday trip will keep me out of the saddle for a few days, several people have inquired as to whether I might have to resort to some of my infamous Wal-Mart training to keep in shape. Well, dear readers, while I did not pack my vest, armband, or helmet in my suitcase, do know that the water here in Cleveland can make even the most rational individuals do some wacky things (and I’m not one of those rational individuals on a good day, so…you do the paint by numbers). I’m also thinking it might be a viable method for distracting the crowds while trying to cash in on some after Christmas deals…
Last week, I gave you some tips regarding gift ideas that might not fly with your non-horse acquaintances. I’m happy to say that I managed to break only one of those rules (I’ll let you guys guess which one, but do know that we Segers pride ourselves on our crude humor). But you know what drives me batty about Christmas? (this is when you ask, “What?”) I’ll tell you – I spend all this time finding the perfect gift, but it’s still not enough. As much as you might want to just hand over the shopping bag with the goods minutes after arriving home from the store, apparently that’s just socially unacceptable this time of year (note: I’m totally fine with that, should you ever be inclined to buy me something). No, you have to find a box, line it with color-coordinated tissue paper (is it just me, or do you all destroy the tissue paper before it even gets near the box/bag too?), and then wrap the box with paper that is never the proper width or length for the aforementioned box in a manner that doesn’t require an entire role of scotch tape (or an entire bottle of Scotch, for that matter). You might even feel compelled to add a bow or some ribbons (great additions if you would like to clean up cat puke later!).
Those who know me realize that I’m an extremely detail-oriented person. That horse with the 37 hunter-style braids at the event? That pair at the events sporting the perfectly color-coordinated XC shirt, helmet cover, saddle pad, and brushing boots? The idiot who poses with her horse in matching red and black Santa hats for her holiday card? Yeah, that’s me. But wrapping gifts? Psshhhh…I’d rather clean the lacings of 30 bridles with toothpicks. Which leads me to this week’s tip.
Tip for Eventers Living in Itty-Bity Apartments in the City #21:
If you hate holiday gift wrapping as much as I do, I recommend that you imagine that the gift item is a horse’s leg. I’ve discovered that this method results in presents that are wrapped without distinct pressure points, tidily finished edges, and no random lumps or bulges of ill-fitted wrapping paper (not to mention I get it done a heck of a lot faster than if I consider the present to be, uh…a box with a sweatshirt in it). Do note, however, that while I recommend imagining the gift is a horse’s leg, it is strongly suggested that you not actually use bandaging materials for wrapping, as many non-horsey gift recipients may not appreciate your “skills” with Vetrap and/or duct tape. Also note that most presents that fit under the average family tree don’t need to be poulticed.
