EN blogger finalist Yvette Seger is back with more Tips for Eventers Living in Itty-Bitty Apartments in the City. Yvette will always be remembered for the famous Insane Walmart Ride, and we welcome her contributions to Eventing Nation.
——
From Yvette:
Tips for Eventers Living in Itty-Bitty Apartments in the City: The Single in the Stable Edition
Priorities, people…priorities!
Hello Eventing Nation! Hopefully all of you who were able to venture out to Colorado for the USEA Annual Meeting have made it home safely and are getting back into the groove. Me? I spent the weekend hanging out here in DC enjoying one last free weekend before …
The Great Onslaught of Holiday Parties.
Now, now…before you all proclaim me as the Uncle Scrooge of Eventing, let me clarify. I like parties as much as the next Eventer, and find myself with plenty of party options each holiday season. And, here in the Nation’s Capital, we get an extended party season every four years, so lots of opportunities for food, drink, and funtivities (yeah, I totally made that up). But we all know that holiday parties come with their own social landmines for eventers. For example, I present Exhibit A: The Barn Party. While it’s nice to see everyone all cleaned up and in less revealing pants, I always find it a bit challenging to identify people without their helmets. And if there’s dancing involved? Seriously, after seeing some of the videos to come out of the Annual Meeting, USEA really should consider requiring medical armbands for the jumping phases AND dancing! But I digress…
My biggest beef with the holiday season? The dreaded “Dr. Seger and Guest” invitations.
Before I go any further, let me reassure all of you fine EN readers that I am a-ok with being single. As an only child, I’m pretty cool about hanging out with myself and have come up with some interesting ways to keep myself (and let’s face it, you guys) entertained and, quite miraculously, out of jail (Exhibit B: Wal-Mart Cross Country). I also realize that I’m a workaholic pain in the rear who is either in the office, the car, or the saddle with the few hours in between those activities spent walking courses (I’m a little obsessed) or maybe sleeping. To put it bluntly – I’m just not dating material.
Anyway, any party that comes with the “and guest” invitation is usually one of which I am wary. Does the organizer think the shindig will be so boring that I need a guest to keep me from spiking the punch? Or are they just curious to see who I’ll cajole from the deep dark depths of my Facebook friends list to attend with me? And what if I just show up with only me, myself, and I? Is it rude? Is it scandalous? Can I eat and drink two people’s worth?
Upon hearing these concerns, my well-meaning friends are quick to suggest individuals with whom I might have some “chemistry” (translation: “we don’t think you’ll scare him off in 2 hours”). And while it would be nice to have my own little Equestrian Ryan Gosling to pay the entry fees and wipe my boots before trotting up the centerline, let’s face it, the only thing that’s getting hitched in my world is the horse trailer. Which leads me to this week’s tip:
–
Tips for Eventers Living in Itty-Bitty Apartments in the City #19:
If you’re a single eventer living in an itty-bitty apartment in the city, you undoubtedly have family members, friends, coworkers, etc. who are OBSESSED with setting you up and getting you to settle down. One solution is to give your horse a “human” name (if it doesn’t have one already), so that you start talking about this fabulous “guy” or “girl” who just makes you really, really happy and then everyone will back off and leave you alone. Just be sure to leave out details like, “I had to beat Roger over the coop” or “I had to spur him on to make sure we finished in time,” or else people will just think you’re in a freakishly abusive relationship.
