You Might Be a ‘Senior’ Eventer If …

Takes your breath away to unzip the half chaps?

You might be a senior eventer.

Senior Eventer in action.

Decide, “what the hell,” and go out cross country schooling even though you haven’t galloped in two months?

Wake up the next morning with a completely jacked up back, hips and shoulders?

Trust your horse to see the ditch? Didn’t pack a spare cartridge for your air vest?

Yep, you’re a senior eventer.

If it’s a crisis when you forget the three-step mounting block, you might be a senior eventer.

Can’t get your leg up and over the front of the flap to tighten your girth, and just let it be loose?

If you worry about your hairnet hole showing your grey hairs….

When your arthritis makes you drop your reins instead of adjusting them during the dressage test, and you get a “disorganized” comment from the judge….

Sent the horse trial secretary a Corporate Lawyer letter, but realized after you pressed “send” that you forgot it to enter on Tuesday….

When buying a new truck, deciding factor the height of the step into the driver’s seat?

You might be a senior eventer.

Know all the judges, the TD, the volunteer coordinator and the organizer at the horse trial from the time they were kids, and most of the riders from when they were still in their mommy’s womb? You might be a senior eventer.

Realize knowing everyone at the horse trial won’t help you remember the course….

Dismayed with 3:30 p.m. dressage time because it cuts into your afternoon nap time?

When you look at the photographers’ proofs online and hope no one else is looking at your decrepit form over a jump….

Can’t bear the thought of a new saddle? You might be a senior eventer.

Would rather use duct tape on your boots than get a new pair to avoid new boot blisters? Always looking for the really stretchy riding breeches? Use the horse’s special magnetic blanket on you? Wrap the “Back On Track” therapeutic wraps on your own leg or arm? You might be a senior eventer.

Click “like” on the meme that says “Age is just a number,” but reach for your handy Grip’n Grab trash picker to get the phone you just dropped?

Realize the bridle you are using is over 30 years old and could fall apart at any minute?Can’t even remember the last time you bought a new bridle? Shocked when you see the price of a new bridle, as it appears to be three times what you paid for the old one? You might be a senior eventer…

Consider hooking up the horse trailer both an aerobic exercise session, and a hot yoga workout all in one?

Forget and call the USEA the USCTA? Remember penalty zones, think you can keep going if you fall off, and still call it stadium jumping? You might be a really senior eventer!

Consider duct tape, haystring, and Super Glue the basics of life?

Have a deep and abiding appreciation for both coffee and bourbon? Sometimes both at the same time?

Save your old Rolex programs but throw out your children’s baby pictures? You might be a senior eventer.