Burning Eventing Questions Part V

This is a series written by me, about me, and my return to eventing. We’ve (that’s me and my horse Plaid who has been chronically lame for 5 years) been away awhile, so sometimes we need a little help with the unknowns. Read Part IIIIII, and IV if you so desire.

Only my horse could give the hairy eyeball and also be resting a hind leg at the same time.

Wow, it’s been a long time since I did one of these! In the beginning of the season, it’s because I was so amped up to be out competing and riding and lessoning and schooling, but lately it’s because I haven’t been able to do any of those things, and that makes me thoroughly depressed. Readers Digest version: My horse Plaid has been lame on and off for over a month. We made the what seemed like monumental leap to Training level in July, and had a whole plan mapped out for the fall. This is where most of you are laughing at me. Yes, I am a newbie, I made plans. We all make mistakes. Anyway, the season has brought up MANY questions:

  1. Is it normal for an (unnamed) professional to gallop into the arena during a scheduled course walk because he (or she, ok it’s a he) missed his scheduled time?
  2. What’s the research like on whether or not having Justin Timberlake’s “Suit and Tie” stuck in your head could mess up your cross-country mojo?
  3. Were any children scarred at me yelling expletives to my out-of-control horse during the Morven Park spring event? If so, provide your name and address, and I’ll have him send a written apology.
  4. When your “sweet girl” voice doesn’t work when you ask the TD to double check your cross-country times, what’s the next move? A mean event evaluation form seems passive aggressive, but tire slashing is too extreme.
  5. Why did I have to ride in my friend’s amazingly balanced cross-country saddle at Plantation, thus forcing me to spend all the money I saved up on one exactly like it?
  6. Is designing helmet covers and calling your friends to check on color schemes a smart way to spend time and energy?
  7. Is it weird to consider training with a certain dressage judge simply so you won’t be allowed to be judged by her again?
  8. When your trainer says, “I’d just like you to get through without stopping” in the lesson before your big move-up event, and then your horse stops at everything, should you sell your horse, give up riding and go get a job at a bank?
  9. What’s the appropriate response when you get the e-mail saying you qualified for the AECs? I’m guessing it’s not to break down crying because your horse is hurt and also it’s in Texas.
  10. What’s the best way to force your friends to eat well before their cross-country ride? I told them the story about me having gummy bear vomit in warm-up, but that just seemed to make them more sick.

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