Peace, love & eventing.
Dear Leslie,
Everyone always says that the eventing community is so supportive and accepting. I worry though:
I am a vegetarian. My political views are liberal (call me a hippie, I won’t mind). I believe that the gap between the rich and poor is much too great. I am an environmentalist and I want you to be one too. I am more of a socialist than a capitalist. I don’t always wear deodorant. I smoke pot. I have seen The Grateful Dead three times. I listen to both folk and heavy metal.
Am I doomed to be an eventing outcast? Or is there hope for weirdoes like me? Can we really all get along?
Signed,
Eventing Freak
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Dear Eventing Freak,
I understand your concern. On the surface, eventing may seem like a conformist sport, what with our matching outfits and million-trillion rules and everything else. It may even seem a little preppy and elitist. I’ve been to nearly 20 Phish shows myself, and I never once saw anybody walking around in a Joules polo shirt, I can tell you that.
But hippies know better than anybody that you can’t judge a book by its cover. To understand the true nature of anything, you’ve got to scratch below the surface. And festering just beneath of the surface of any true eventer is a great big freak.
There’s a wonderful scene in Alice in Wonderland when Alice comes across the Cheshire Cat and remarks, “But I don’t want to go among mad people.” To which the Cat replies: “Oh, you can’t help that. We’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad.” Flustered, Alice asks, “How do you know I’m mad?” And the Cat answers, “You must be. Or you wouldn’t have come here.”
Eventing is kind of like that. If you were a normal, sane person, you’d be at home watching American Idol with your hand in a box of Cheese-its. But you’ve chosen a different path. You’ve decided to participate in a sport that is complicated, time-consuming and both physically and emotionally demanding. And I promise you, nobody’s doing it simply for the thrill of winning a $4 ribbon. While eventers may differ wildly in their political views and aesthetic opinions, always remember that we’re all united by a singular all-consuming madness.
Here’s the downside. Someone once told me that there are two types of crazy people–people who know they’re crazy, and people who don’t. The latter are the ones you’ve got to worry about. Like when I hang my good-luck disco ball up outside my stall at the horse show, or when I walk my bunny on her leash on the cross-country course–I always know there’s going to one or two people who are going to give me dirty looks. It used to hurt my feelings, but one day I realized that when eventers cut other eventers down, it’s only because they don’t feel good about themselves. Maybe they wish their own life involved more disco balls and bunnies, or maybe they’re just irritated that someone else is having more fun than they are. Whatever their reasoning, you have to accept that it’s their problem, not yours.
Personally, I think you sound like a super-cool person, exactly the kind of eventer I’d love to stable next to at a horse show. You could try to sell me on tofu, and I could try to sell you on deodorant. We’d talk and laugh and probably not smoke pot and have the best weekend ever. It’d be awesome.
Wow, I’ve been handing out some pretty good advice lately. If this keeps up, we may have to change the name of my column. I’ll try to do better next week.
Keep those freak flags flying,
Leslie
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