Skybreaker living up to his name last fall

‘When riders get nervous, often times they will either chase or choke their eye.’ I can’t tell you how many times I have heard Denny say this during a jump lesson. I never really noticed until I started riding with Denny that lots of riders have a tendency to do this. No finger pointing here. In fact I will be the first to admit I have a tendency to chase my eye when I get nervous. If I am worried about a certain jump and I start to feel the nerves building I will more often than not feel the need to charge at the fence which obviously doesn’t get me anywhere. Some riders “pick” as they come to a fence, and others will flat out run.

So, if we feel confident about our ability to see a distance to a fence and we believe we have a fairly reliable three stride eye, then how can we trust our training and not allow fear or anxiety to overpower us? How can we stay cool, calm and relaxed when the bar begins to raise?  How do we trust our instincts and ride each jump to the best of our ability without allowing fear and anxiety to creep in?

Practice! The only way we are even going to get better at something is if we practice. Some riders are more gifted than others. I have definitely struggled for years and years. Oh crap, there’s an enormous roll top out there…I don’t know what to do, I don’t know what to do….I am not seeing any sort of distance…UMMMM….I’ll just blindly gallop towards it and hope for the best. These are literally thoughts that use to go through my head. I was very inexperienced and did NOT have a reliable three stride eye. I couldn’t see a distance to save my life and never really practiced getting that perfect uphill, balanced and adjustable canter that is required for jumping.

One of the best pieces of advice that Denny ever gave me was to do the “footprint game.” Meaning, find a footprint in the sand, or dirt far enough away that you have time to get to it, but close enough so you can actually see it. Now, canter towards that footprint and get in right. This can also be done over poles on the ground. This helped my eye tremendously. I was so tired of randomly getting in right to a fence that I had to take matters into my own hands and force myself to have a better eye.

Pressure. I have noticed that I am much more likely to chase my eye when I am nervous. The only way for me to get over nerves is by putting myself under pressure. I am under pressure when I go to a jumper show, or a competition, or if I am riding in front of a group of other riders. The more times I can put myself in these types of sitautions the more comfortable I will become.

Valonia over the last fence at Huntington Farm 2012

The CANTER! Denny always talks about the canter and how so many horses don’t have jumping problems, they have cantering problems. What does this mean? A lot of horses that come here for a lesson, or a lot of horses that we have all ridden with Denny over the years struggle with their canters. Some want to run on their forehand and jump flat over a fence, while others lack impulsion and can barely make it over a jump because they are like a log stuck in the mud. Creating a canter that has impulsion and balance can take years, but can be accomplished.

So how exactly do we avoid those moments where we either chase or choke our eye? The only thing I am certain about is that IT TAKES TIME. Learning to ride, or learning how to jump, or learning how to see your distance to a jump repeatedly does not happen overnight. Learning to ride and become a good rider takes time. I think you have the ability to speed up the process if you are eager to get better and you are a dedicated rider. We can have lessons every single day, but at the end of the day, it’s the homework that really needs to be done. It’s not up to our trainers or coaches to make “it” happen…it’s up to us as riders.

valonia yesterday

I cannot tell you how many times I have heard Denny say the following: riding nice horses ups your game. In the beginning I had absolutely no idea what he was talking about. Literally every single person that either trailered in for a lesson, or was a working student, in my eyes, was an amazing rider on an amazing horse. So, I thought to myself, how can these riders UP their game, if their game is already up?

When I first came to Tamarack there were two women that consistently trailered in for lessons-almost on a weekly basis. Both individuals had competed at the Advanced level and both were and are accomplished riders. The barn manager at the time thought I was cobwebbing, or sweeping, but really I was cobwebbing or sweeping the same spot over and over again, only so I could catch a glimpse  of the lesson outside. There’s a reason why I never received the “working student of the year award.” Anyways, I would watch as these amazing riders would consistently get to the perfect distance to an enormous jump over and over again and look picturesque in the air. They were always on nice horses and they both always looked incredible. These two women were my idols. I wanted their horses and I wanted their eye, and I wanted to basically be them. You always knew when one of these riders were at the farm because the next day the jump ring looked like a Rolex show jumping course.

Again, I asked myself, how could riding nice horses up your game if you are already a great rider on a great horse? Fast forward about five years and I finally discovered the answer. Now, brace yourself, because this is going to be shocking. The question is simply in the statement. Quite literally, riding nice horses ups your game. There was and is a reason why good riders are good and that’s because they are on good, or great horses (and they worked their butts off). Great riders don’t waste their time with mediocre horses. Great riders find horses that have the ability to meet their goals.

Does this mean that everyone can magically go out and purchase the horse of their dreams?  NO! I am in a unique and special situation because I worked my butt off to get to this point. I never traded in my saddle and the thought never occurred to me. I grew up riding school horses and then there was a long period where I rode some very tough horses because I could only afford to buy difficult, or tough horses, or lease tough horses. I learned to ride on whatever anyone would let me sit on. I was never picky but now I am.

Skybreaker warming up for a jump school

Probably the best thing that ever happened to me was the first summer at Tamarack, I was desperately struggling with my mare in a jump set and I stopped and Denny asked our friend Sue Berrill what she thought of my horse and what she would do if this mare was hers. Here’s what Sue said: SELL HER. I was sort of stunned and sort of relieved simultaneously. It never crossed my mind to sell this horse because I don’t know if anyone ever told me to my face to sell her.

Getting rid of that mare and getting on progressively better horses as the years passed has helped my riding by leaps and bounds. I would be nowhere if I had ignored Denny and Sue’s advice. Right now I sort of feel on top of the world. I have two horses that I never even imagined myself to be sitting on. If someone had told me 12 years ago that I would be not only sitting on, but competing two horses like Skybreaker and Valonia I would have probably started laughing hysterically. Riding nice horses ups your game. It can take decades (and it has) to get nice horses to ride. But once you start to become a better rider and you start to ride nicer horses, there is this amazing and inevitable snowball effect. Translation: Be realistic and don’t give up even when the going gets rough. 

Skybreaker and Jumbie's first ten mile competitive trail ride-GMHA!

4:15 am Monday morning, BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP. I begrudgingly wailed on my alarm clock until it screamed at me no longer. The rain was coming down in bucket loads and the thought of loading the horses and driving over to South Woodstock when it was still dark out didn’t exactly bring a smile to my face. I have to be perfectly honest, when Denny asked me if I wanted to ride in the 10 mile at GMHA I was open to the idea, but I had no clue what to expect. I had two thoughts that morning, and only two because nothing else seemed to process in my brain that early: 1) this is either going to be extremely boring, or 2) my Novice horse is NOT going to be fit enough for this ride and I will probably have to turn around and walk back to the trailer. Boy was I wrong about this experience in every possible way…

The ride was ANYTHING but boring and I learned a lot. Denny told Daryl and I that we were going to team up and ride the ten together, her on Jumbie (a little mare by Jumbo) a novice horse, and I rode the enormous Selle Lux. gelding, Skybreaker, a Quidam de Revel grandson-also going novice. Neither horse is your typical endurance/competitive trail horse but that certainly didn’t hold them back.

As far as knowing what we were doing, we had basically no clue what we were doing, but we talked ourselves through the ride and really thought about what our horses were capable of doing. At the start, I thought we were just heading out at a walk, but Daryl yelled at me “TROT…Lila…TROT-Let’s Go!” Woops….I thought we were going out for a leisurely ride! We were the first two horses in the 10 mile to head out and we ended up trotting the majority of the ride. We basically trotted wherever we could-uphill’s, long flat stretches and slight downhills. We weren’t going to make them trot or canter if they didn’t feel like they wanted to go…but they never said no, or I cant…so we kept plugging away. Daryl had her iphone with her so she kept updating us on how many miles we had gone and how fast we were going, which was a huge help. We left at 8:30am and we could not return before 10am. To our surprise we had gone about 6 miles in a little under an hour so we had to slow down towards the end so we didn’t come in under the time allowed.

Denny and Liz heading out on their 10 mile ride

We also thought the trails would be clearly marked so any idiot could find their way around the course. Well, we probably stopped at least 3 or 4 times to think about which way to go. Some markers pointed left, some right, some straight and some were hard to find and all had different colors. You really had to pay close attention to the signs and use your best judgement if the trails split off and we kept thinking about what the staff told us in our briefing before the ride began.

We ended up completing the ten mile in 1 hour and 45 minutes and our horses felt amazing! Daryl and I actually tied for first place overall which was surprising and very exciting. Both our horses received a perfect score of 100. Basically our horses cooled down very well and their heart rates/pulse came back down fairly quickly and they trotted out well in the jog for the vetting.

I am not sure if I could ever do a really long ride, but I have a whole new respect and appreciation for this sport. Obviously a ten mile ride is NOTHING in the grand scheme of things, especially for those avid and serious competitive trail riders and endurance riders. I honestly cannot imagine doing what we did ten times over again and in a row. There were very few 100 mile riders this weekend but what they do with their horses is truly amazing. The fitness and dedication those riders and horses possess is remarkable.

I am extremely happy that Denny made us go out there and complete our first competitive trail ride. How ignorant I was to think this ride would be boring, or tedious. I got to see beautiful farms, land, and homes that I would have never been able to see. I got to really test my horse’s fitness. I stepped out of my little eventing comfort zone and branched out. I learned about fitness and horsemanship on a totally different level. What an amazing experience and I am thinking I might try the 15 mile next fall! Thank you so much GMHA and all the volunteers who made this ride possible. Just because you are an event rider, or a jumper, or dressage rider, or you have a horse that is meant to be in the “ring” doesn’t mean you can’t go enter a competitive trail ride.

Skybreaker skipping over a ditch last week.

Throughout our lives we learn all about moderation. Many of us were lectured as children to not overdo things. Too much of anything isn’t good, we were often told. An apple a day keeps the doctor away, so eating fruits and vegetables is a good thing? Yet, eating 1,200 apples in a day might kill you. Similarly, everyone needs to drink plenty of water. Well, how should we define the word “plenty”? Should we drink four glasses of water a day, or 24? How much is too much and how little is too little?

This whole moderation concept can be applied to our riding and our horses. Riding seems to revolve around not overdoing any one thing, and yet there is no such thing as the same moderation for any two horses. Every horse has their own middle ground, and as riders we need to know where this middle ground is. As our horses become stronger and as the summer unfolds, we have to change how we measure “too little” versus “too much,” and that fine line between overdoing things and not challenging ourselves and our horses enough.

I’m assuming I’m not alone here when I say I come stumbling out of the indoor every spring feeling awkward, unsure and most of all NOT READY. The not ready I’m referring to is the not ready to compete yet. How many of you suffer through horrible winters months up north because of jobs, school, family, significant others, money, etc.? How many of you dream of packing your bags, your trailer and heading south for the winter … and I mean ALL WINTER? Don’t get me wrong; I am one lucky gal to be sitting on the two beasts I am currently riding, and of course I am very fortunate to have access to an indoor riding arena, but I think there might possibly be a little tiny bit of whining room here. Im a Vermonter and that’s how we’re wired!

So there I was in the dead of winter desperately longing for spring. Opening dates for spring events were creeping up, and I knew I wanted to enter some event but felt torn doing so when I saw icicles out my bedroom window. How many of you filled out entries in January or February sort of thinking to yourselves that you were nuts, or that there was no way you and your horse would be ready to compete in April or May? If you raised your hand to this question, you are not alone.

Spring FINALLY arrives and creatures start flocking around the farm. Of course, my biggest fear is Denny coming home only to find an unfit horse and a rider who have lost a whole bunch of training. Before my first jump school with Denny, I usually feel a wave of eagerness combined with terror. You want to start off on a good note, and you don’t want to be told that you look like a troll that’s been sitting in an indoor all winter … even if that’s the truth. You basically want to feel like you are more or less picking up from where you left off the summer before.

At last, the summer unfolds and eventers all over the country are kicking into gear and what a great feeling it is when you and your horse are finally on the same page! In my opinion, there doesn’t exist a cooler feeling than this. There is not a better feeling than being really competitive toward the end of the summer because all the hard work you and your horse have done together has finally paid off. Of course there are lots of riders that start out their seasons on a high and keep going up and up as the season progresses, though I am more interested in those folks who started off their summers retiring on cross country, or being eliminated or scoring a 50 in dressage to ending their seasons with ribbons and clean cross-country rounds! I am interested in the masses.

Now that I have taken you through the four season in New England, how and when do we call it quits? If we are on a high with our horses, when do we say enough is enough? When do we decide we are NOT entering one more event? When do we decide to end our competitive summer? These are not easy questions to answer. How many of you feel like you and your horse are at the highest point in your summer right now? How many of you feel like you’re on a roll and feel like it wouldn’t hurt to do just one or two more events?

Perhaps we know when enough is enough from experience and time. A lot of this depends on YOU and YOUR horse and how much you have already done this summer. A lot depends on money and time. Some of us are parents and have kids going back to school. Some of us have full-time jobs and careers that won’t allow for extra events. Some of us don’t want to risk our horses by competing too many times. Everyone has their own story and everyone ought to know when enough is enough, but it sure can be difficult at times to make those conscious decisions when things are going exceptionally well!

Jacqueline GIlbert and Sea Squall were winners of the Preliminary Training division. Photo courtesy of Flatlandsfoto.com.

Huntington Farm is located in the small but picturesque town of Strafford, Vt., where yours truly resides. Every summer, the farm hosts a couple recognized horse trials. They even brought back their popular schooling shows and a camp this year. Ann Kitchel is the owner of Huntington Farm, and Deborah Dean-Smith — a USDF bronze, silver and gold medalist who has earned many top placings — is the horse trainer at the farm.

This past weekend was their August horse trials, and it couldn’t have been a better weekend for a show. The weather was agreeable, the footing was pretty amazing, and there were some new and exciting jumps on the xc course. Huntington Farm is one of my favorite events in Area 1 for several reasons:

1. It’s less than five minutes down the road.

2. The cross country is very gallopy and has the perfect combination of fields and trails.

3. Everyone is so nice and generous at the farm.

4. They are one of the few events around here that do stadium at the end of the day and have a victory gallop for those who placed, which is always fun for spectators and, of course, the riders!

Thank you to everyone at Huntington Farm and all the amazing volunteers. I can’t wait to compete there next summer! Many thanks  to the amazing Joan Davis of Flatlandsfoto for providing these images from Huntington. Be sure to go to her website to check out all the proofs from the weekend.

Daryl Kinney and Rosie's Girl were winners of the Open Training division. Photo courtesy of Flatlandsfoto.com.

Caroline Rex and Banda Calypso were winners of the Junior Novice division. Photo courtesy of Flatlandsfoto.com.

Elizabeth Ventura and Milestone were winners of the Junior Beginner Novice division. Photo courtesy of Flatlandsfoto.com.

The Beast At Huntington-Open Training

Eventing is seriously one tough sport….amazingly fun, but definitely not easy. How many years does it take to really become a good rider do you think? Five, Fifteen, Twenty? Maybe you are thinking to yourself, it depends on timing, money perhaps, and of course THAT special horse. I’m sure I’m not alone here when I say that I literally lie awake at night wondering if all the years, the hours, and of course all the money, have been a huge waste of my time. I also don’t think I am alone here when I say that I also lie awake at night thinking I just can’t do this, I never will be at the top, or I’ll never be as good as: *insert any top rider’s name here.*

Let’s say you have put in the hours and you believe you have THE horse…now what? Do you go and win every single event that you sign up for? Does everything just fall magically into place once you have poured sweat and tears into this sport and you FINALLY have the horse of your dreams? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I wish it were that simple. There are countless pieces to this puzzle and getting everything to magically line up requires serious patience and time.

The Beast, aka “Valonia,” doesn’t have this nickname by accident. She is large and in charge most of the time. I have had this 17.1 hand Holsteiner since 2009 and we have absolutely had our ups and downs. The horse barely could lead when she arrived at Tamarack. I could not hose her off in a wash-stall for at least 6 months because as soon as I turned on the water she tore off the cross ties and jumped into some random horse’s paddock. Clippers? Yeah right-that took over a year. Loading? That took about two years to where she would consistently walk right on. I always thought this mare had it all, though I never thought it would be this much of a challenge and I never thought it would take this long to find that special go button.

Mares are tricky, we all know that. There is a reason why there are more geldings in this sport than mares. It’s no secret. The first event I took Valonia to, I was eliminated in dressage for accidentally stepping out of the ring at “A.” Once I got her out and about as a 5 and 6 year old, some of the events went well and some were awful. Either she was on it and we would go clean, or she was spooky and we would have a stop on xc. I couldn’t quite put my finger on the inconsistent behavior. Sometimes I blamed it on her being green. Sometimes I blamed it on her being in season. Sometimes I blamed it on lighting, or a certain venue being spookier than others. I blamed “our” problems on several factors….not knowing what the real problem was.

That GO button that I have found…that magical thing that makes this horse tick is really about me and my go button. How ridiculous I was to blame every little thing on my horse and how the mistakes we made were really her mistakes. What’s so funny and amazing about this whole adventure is that the go button is completely up to me. This magically switch is not so magical after all. I have complete control over this switch and it is at my beck and call. All I have to do is decide when and how to turn this on. I have a young horse who has limited experience but is bold and confident. If I go out on xc unsure of myself and unsure about certain jumps, most likely we WILL have a run out, or a stop. After retiring on xc at Napierville (in Canada), I came back home feeling defeated. Of course Denny did not feel sorry for me and told me to basically buck up and get out to another event soon and MAKE THINGS HAPPEN.

What a turning point coming home from Canada was. I was at my lowest of lows, after spending so much money only to retire on xc and never make it over the first fence in SJ. What a failure I was. I needed a swift kick in the pants to turn my season around and that’s just what I got. I went from having stops here and there this spring to returning from Canada and going clean at Huntington, Stoneleigh-Burnham, GMHA and Huntington again. Not only did we go clean, but I found my own go button. My go button inevitably turned her go button on. Going clean at our last four events was not accidental or by mistake. I have made the conscious decision to take control. I go into the start box now saying to myself…we got this….and we ARE going clean and that’s that!

This may or may not be a special circumstance between me and my mare. I am a certain personality type and my mare is also a very specific personality type. Although, if there are other riders out there who have the ability to go clean on xc but allow certain issues to play a role, or effect their ride, then let this be some advice. I have never had this happen before. I feel like a light bulb literally has turned on in my head and now I can attack any course I would like. If you have a horse that has the ability to go jump all the jumps you point them at, but you are a little intimidated by the event, or by a certain jump, or a certain question….you need to find that confidence inside and you need to take the steering wheel. Some riders are passengers and it works, and some are drivers, or have to be drivers. Sometimes it takes years to discover which side of the car you belong on-or need to belong on. It also can take years to discover that you need to take the steering wheel, but once you feel what its like to drive you will never move back to your old seat….not for anything!

Peter Gray stands with his clinic participants at GMHA. Photo via Flatlandsfoto.

What an amazing weekend I had at GMHA in South Woodstock, Vt. Every August they have their biggest event of the year, known to many as the Festival Of Eventing. The last two years they have offered Beginner Novice through Intermediate, and this year drew in some serious numbers. Actually, the intermediate division this year was bigger than some of the Novice and Training divisions, which is great news for GMHA.

There were crowds, spectators, friends, families and competitors buzzing around everywhere. The weather and the footing were both spectacular. GMHA is about a 50-plus minute trailer ride from Tamarack Hill Farm, so we never miss an event. Competing at GMHA is so much fun because it sort of feels like we’re all riding at home. I am always surrounded by familiar faces, and the atmosphere is perfection.

The cross-country course is particularly amazing. They built several new jumps this year and definitely beefed up some of the levels, which was very exciting. The second water complex was particularly exciting with a very challenging Prelim question dropping into the water with a skinny wedge fence they had as an option jumping out. Always a fun time competing there. Thank you, GMHA, and all the volunteers who made this event and all the other events possible.

Many thanks to Joan Davis of Flatlandsfoto.com for providing these great images from GMHA!

The Beast making mountains out of molehills...

I grew up in a household filled with aromas of freshly baked breads, beautifully created treats, and deliciously balanced meals all around. I would say I grew up a bit spoiled in the food department. Everything my mother makes is from scratch. If you ask my mom the following she will look at you like you have 4 eyeballs: did this come out of a box? My Mom: This most certainly did NOT come out of a box….I made it all. The worst part about growing up and moving on as an adult was leaving those unforgettable fragrances and tastes behind…now I am left to fend for myself. Poor me!

One of the coolest parts about watching my mom grow as a cook, as a baker, and as an artist (I have to use the word artist here because what she creates truly appears to be in art form) is how her methods have changed over time. I remember as a child my mom would study recipes prior to cooking anything. Now if you walk into her kitchen on any given night she most likely is creating something totally invented by her imagination. She will still use recipe books on an occasion, or she’ll start with a recipe but over time she’ll turn it into her own. She never makes the same casserole twice. She never makes the same blueberry pie twice. Often times, she’ll find a certain recipe she likes, or has created and might use that same recipe for some time, but then after a while she will tweak the ingredients or change little things here and there. My mother’s cooking has this incredible balance between staying the same and constantly changing if that makes any sense.

I think the same can be said about riding horses. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I am border line obsessive compulsive about many things in life. Once I find something I like, I stick with that thing. I prefer Masala Chai Tea because that’s the kind I have been drinking for years. I can only fall asleep if I have a down pillow beneath my head. If I am wearing sandals I have to paint my toenails. I always put three sugar cubes in my coffee. Clearly I am a creature of habit and once something works, or once I am hooked, there’s no turning back. I think there are people who have similar likes and dislikes. This isn’t a bad way of life, but I am learning that change is A OKAY especially in the world of horses.

Let me introduce my Beast…aka, “Valonia.” The two of us have been in a steady routine now for over three years now.

I have a very specific warp up routine that I have been using for probably over a year plus now, whether I am warming up for jumping, or warming up for dressage. Since the Beast is quite large (hence the nickname) and since she is a she….you can imagine why I would do a slow, gentle, soft, through and over her back type of warm-up right?  She is not one you can immediately tell to be on the bit, be super engaged, be in self carriage, and acquiesce to my inside leg in both directions. With the Beast, everything has to be a question where the questions does NOT have a question mark in the end. Example: Are we going to canter nicely to the right today. Opposed to this demand: We are cantering nicely to the right today, and that’s that, so deal woman!

Funny how my go to warm-up routine that worked flawlessly for over a year now is not really working anymore. We are having the Beast sit and lift this year more than ever before. Her answer to sitting and lifting is to go faster, get longer behind, and if I am really lucky start to bear down and try and plow the earth on her forehand. These are not uncommon side effects when asking a horse to be more engaged. So, the little princess started to see my previous warm up routine as an ample opportunity to get heavy and forehand-y. Ahah-she thought to herself, now I can really disengage my hind end and have my mother hold me up. For now, I have to tweak my warm-up routine in order to compliment her training.

Riding horses is so much about routine, regularity, being systematic and sticking to a schedule. Many horses seem to thrive off a predictable schedule. A horse doesn’t learn to jump if you jump them once a year. A horse learns to jump by jumping on a fairly regular basis. We teach horses by being repetitive. You do and do and do, and ask and ask and ask until they get it. From this we formulate techniques and special routines, or warm-up patterns that we use repeatedly. As we grow as riders, and as our horses mature, we have to tweak, or alter our routines so that nothing becomes stagnant. As riders, and  competitors, we want to establish certain levels of training, but you don’t really want to be stuck anywhere for too long. Like my mother’s casserole, find a solid base that works for you, but keep building upon it and tweaking your recipe from time to time and you and your horse will grow!

the beast at Stoneleigh-Burnham. Photo credit to David Frechette

Runners take your marks. Set. B-A-N-G! I have vivid memories of my running days in high school. I was never passionate about running. Rather, the sport gave me a chance to meet new people and maintain fitness as a rider.  I don’t think I even felt nervous or anxious when competing. I think it was my sophomore year that I set the record in the 100 meter dash.

Funny because I specifically remember that race and that particular day. I was off in my own head the whole day. Running was the last thing on my mind. My coach told me to go take a warm-up lap around the track and I begrudgingly took his advice. My thoughts were most likely consumed by real worldly matters, such as what my outfit was going to consist of the following day, or if the boy I liked was going to call me again. After my warm-up routine, I took a deep breath and prepared myself for the sprint. It must have been my insufferable adolescent mentality that carried me across the finish line that morning. Not only did I win first set, I was the fastest runner of the day in the 100 meter dash which qualified me for the VT State Championships.

You are now asking yourself, and why should I continue on reading about this girl who thinks so highly of herself? Truth be told, this anecdote is in no way meant to act as pat on the back. Yes, I was a very good sprinter, but I was never passionate about the sport. I am a rider at heart and always will be, and yet riding horses has never come easily, nor naturally for me. I would argue that in this tiny horse world that we live in there are two types of riders: those annoying individuals who were born with it and who are naturals, and those who struggle but have the ability to learn and get better. I am most certainly crammed in with the latter of the two groups. I would NOT label myself as a naturally gifted rider, but rather someone who has struggled in order to get better.

I find it fascinating when people are truly talented at something in life and don’t necessarily take that thing they do incredibly seriously. I know a couple riders who are absolutely naturals, and that could go very far in eventing, but have never felt that unwavering connection with the sport. In a way I find this shocking. Then again, I could have cared less about running and yet it came naturally for me. I had friends on the track team that ran every waking second. Their lives revolved around running and yet some of them were never going to amount to anything. So, question: is it better to pursue a sport that comes naturally to you, but that you don’t necessarily love? Or is it better to chase your goals and dreams even if you have to work 100 times harder than someone else?

Of course there are those individuals who are not only naturally talented but actually love what they do. Those people I almost have to ignore in this piece because they make up an elite group of people, and Im more concerned with the masses. I don’t know if William Fox-Pitt is naturally gifted and/or worked incredibly hard to get to be one of the best riders in the world? Clearly the guy can ride! What about Margie Engle? Mark Todd? Ingrid Klimke? I would love to call up these riders and find out if they are “naturals” or if they learned how to be great riders through some serious struggle?

At what point do we throw our gloves in and say, enough is enough already…I am never going to be a Kim Severson, or a Michael Jung? At what point do we push past the angst and frustration and continue on? I suppose this all depends on how tough you are and how badly you want something? Do you ever find that your drive and determination can almost hinder your riding? Have you ever been told that your intensity actually restricts your riding? If we are not naturally gifted, but we work really hard to become the best riders we can be, how much drive is too much drive? Those of us who have to work harder arguably need that much more drive in order to succeed. How much determination is too much, or how little is too little?

Im writing this piece to anyone who has struggled, or continues to struggle with their riding. I am writing this to anyone who is not a naturally gifted rider who has to work extra hours in order to be playing in the same ball field as some of the other more talented individuals. If you want this sport badly enough, don’t give up. Don’t compare yourself to other riders who are out of your league. Focus on you, your horse and your goals. Try to not let determination and intensity override your ability to learn. I would rather struggle every day in order to become the best rider I can be, than spend years doing a sport that comes naturally to me that I feel indifferent towards.

The beast at Stoneleigh Burnham

A couple weeks ago I called Microsoft Office and set up an account on my computer. I was having some trouble figuring out the logistics of my new email account so I called up customer service. Naturally I was transferred to someone whose primary language most certainly wasn’t English, but he helped me out just the same. I bet a lot of people have run into this very situation where you call up a company, or a company contacts you and the person on the other end is sitting somewhere in Delhi.

I can’t tell you how many times I have heard people screaming at customer service. Don’t call me ever again…or, what do you mean my order hasn’t shipped yet? What I’m getting at is a lot of people can be disrespectful at times. It’s so easy to blame the poor middle man who acts as a liaison to whatever company they are representing. Furthermore, and maybe even more interesting is the type of person, or personality that can handle complete strangers yelling at them, even tormenting them on the other end. Different personality types are suited for various outlets in life.

I can’t help but think about the forty some odd competitors in the Advanced division at Millbrook this weekend. I chose this event because it’s relatively speaking in my neck of the woods and I had several friends competing there this weekend. It would have been interesting to quickly meet the forty plus competitors and ask them in five words or less to describe their personalities. How many of them would say they’re daredevils? How many would say they’re aggressive? How many would say they’re shy, or sweet or very kind?

Let’s be honest, it takes a certain personality type to be able to do the upper levels in this sport. I have no idea what it’s like to do the upper levels, but I have friends who compete above Prelim and I know the type of people they are. Arguably, it must take a certain level of “gutsiness” to basically put yourself into a seemingly dangerous and extremely risky position. A lot of riders can be seriously injured. Countless horses have been severely injured and of course there have been deaths, and yet they all keep going back for more!

I actually think that eventing lures in a certain type of person in general. The personality types may be all over the board when comparing beginner novice riders through advanced riders, but basically this sport draws in a certain type of person. Who is this person? Do you have to be an A through G type of personality if you have any hopes of competing (where A-G, even though completely fabricated represent the toughest of personalities)? Do you have to be overly angry, aggressive, and almost scary in order to go clean xc? Can really nice and sweet personalities make it to the top? I have no agenda here, nor am I asking any rhetorical questions. I really would love to know what types of personalities can make it to the top, and do you have to be a certain type to succeed?

Daryl Kinney and Union Station attacking their first intermediate together-GMHA 2012

This whole xc mentality concept has been in the front of my thoughts all summer. I am basically a non-confrontational person but I think I have an edge, otherwise I would be sitting by a fireplace knitting. If I had to describe my personality in five words or less I would say the following: adventurous, awkward, sarcastic, semi-daring, and competitive. Is this a recipe for upper levels in eventing? I have no clue. I have noticed that because the types of horses I am sitting on currently I need to step out of my normal self and reach way down and grab my alter ego in order to go clean xc. I need to almost become exasperated before leaving the start box. Even though being super aggressive and proactive isn’t second nature for me, I am more than pumped to explore this new side. I love competing and love all this life style has to offer, and if it means that I need to go to darker places before going xc, so be it!

Obviously the horses cannot be forgotten here. Eventing would be nothing if it weren’t for these amazing creatures we ask to do crazy things. I think a lot of this personality type discussion has to be taken with a grain of salt. I’m not saying you have to be a total maniac to be able to compete and to be able to go clean on xc. I also don’t think that really shy, nervous, or petrified personalities are best suited for this sport. I think eventing require a certain amount of GRRRRRRRRRRR, for a lack of a better expression. This sport also requires a tough skin, a daring personality and someone who is a thrill seeker. I don’t think it’s all or nothing when it boils down to your personality type, but I do think it starts with a certain amount of edge.

Valonia down the steps at Stoneleigh Burnham 2013!

I am extremely lucky to have the grandfather I have. Fritz Henning, or as I like to call him, ‘wiki-Fritz,’ is the smartest person I know. His desire to learn can’t be compared to anyone else. His knowledge and depth reach far beyond most. All you have to say is Civil War, or Gettysburg, and he will give you a one hour dissertation with dates and specific events. The man never wants to stop learning and he never wants to stop educating himself which I find incredibly inspiring. Of course Fritz doesn’t just have an answer or an explanation for everything, he also has tons of questions. I can’t tell you how many times he has asked me the following, “why do you like this sport….or, what exactly is the point?” Usually, I stare at my grandfather for a second and instead of really explaining what it is that draws me to this sport, I blurt out, “I just love it!”

Simply put, we just love it….but why do we love this sport? What is it about eventing that is so addicting and alluring? We spend thousands of dollars on competitions, shoeing, vet bills, feed, trailers, trucks and so much more. We spend hours sweating and working our butts off, and for what? How many of us really come home with a blue ribbon every other weekend? How many riders and horses improve dramatically at each of their outings? We spend all this time, money and energy and even if we do win a blue ribbon, it’s just a ribbon…it’s not money, or a saddle, or a sponsorship. Of course at the huge events a blue ribbon comes along with several more prizes, but for the majority of us, a ribbon is just a ribbon…so again, I ask….why do we do this?

I spent Sunday all day at Stoneleigh Burnham in Greenfield MA. I took my mare Novice and my goal was to go clean on xc. I recently bumped her down a level after having some issues going training, so all I really wanted was for her to be in front of my leg and to jump everything I pointed her at. I become so fixated on going clean xc that I failed to ride her pro-actively in show jumping and ended up having a very green stop at the first fence.  I was livid. I couldn’t believe we had a stop. I got mad and rode around the rest of the course. My anger and frustration translated into a very positive and forward xc round which I was pleased with, but I couldn’t wait to get to our next show so I could redeem myself.  We ended up 2^nd overall, but I had some serious thoughts on my drive home.

I started thinking about how we ride like who we are. Denny has told me repeatedly that I need to be more aggressive and almost angrier when I go out on xc. I am a non-confrontational and fairly reserved individual, so becoming very angry or aggressive all of a sudden takes serious focus for me. I have to mentally prepare myself for this state of mind. Some competitors just have this edge while others do not. I have to fight with myself to get this aggression to come out. I think I have a slight edge but it needs to be drawn out from time to time. So I really thought about how I need to almost become someone else, or become my alter ego in order to go clean.

Im not sure about everyone else, but I do this sport because it is seriously addicting. I feel like I can’t get enough and every time you almost win, or almost get close to doing well, you want another go at it. Or, even if you do win, you want to try and replicate that same feeling. Or you totally mess up and make terrible decisions, in which case you can’t wait to get out and compete again to make things right. Not only is this sport addicting, but having amazing horses with whom you develop incredible relationships with is like nothing else. Eventing is a very precise and an extremely challenging sport. You can’t just do well in one phase. You can’t not go clean on xc….or you will NEVER win. You have to go clean xc, but you also have to do well in the other two phases. Eventing is like a jigsaw puzzle and putting all the pieces together takes a very long time. When put together correctly, magic appears in front of you. When put together incorrectly, or when pieces are still missing, the whole thing looks distorted.

Kids heading off to school in Bhutan

The year was 2007. I had 15 minutes before my next class so I sprinted to the Davis center at UVM to grab an overly priced and caffeinated beverage. While anxiously waiting in line for my caffeine buzz, I couldn’t help but notice a large poster hanging in a sea of other posters and flyers. Students: Come join us on a trip to India and Bhutan. Three weeks. Course Credit. All inclusive trip. Don’t miss out on this once in a lifetime opportunity. Contact ……I’m not sure what came over me that particular afternoon, but I instantaneously knew I had to go to India and we would be leaving in less than a year.

What’s so funny about this trip was that Bhutan was supposed to be the highlight. Bhutan is a tiny country located on the southern slopes of the Eastern end of the Himalayas. The government actually restricts the level of tourism each year, or the number of people they allow into the country. Therefore, the fact that we were traveling to this country at all was a huge deal. Bhutan was an extraordinary place with a compassionate culture, but India was like nothing I had ever experienced before.

not quite a horse...but pretty cute!

India was insane. Calcutta was overwhelming to all the senses. It was like the city was spiraling around you like a twister. The markets were incredible. There was meat hanging under tents that would kill you if you ate it, there were naked children everywhere, there was music, dancing, singing, jewelry making, monkeys and so much more. Darjeeling was also spectacular. There was more tea then I had ever seen in my life. There were roads I didn’t think cars, or small buses could even drive up. There were hotels and homes literally built on the edge of cliffs. India opened my eyes and was one of the best decisions I ever made.

more fun in India!

What does India have to do with the price of horses, you may be wondering? This all boils down to education and the importance of education, in my opinion. If I never went to UVM, I would never have stumbled across that poster, and I would have never emailed the Professor who led me on this unforgettable journey.

I wouldn’t change my life for anything. Horses remain to be a focal point in my life, but they do not completely define me. It’s so easy to get caught up in the “drama” with horses. Sometimes I will be talking to someone in the barn and thinking about what I am saying as the words are coming out of my mouth. I am trying to get my horse to sit and lift more in the canter but he is just struggling. Well, what about everything that’s happening outside of this tiny little bubble?

It’s so easy to fall into this world where the ONLY thing that matters is MY horse and MY riding. Nothing else exists and absolutely nothing else matters. I am guilty of this way of life and I know almost all my horse friends are wired similarly. This isn’t to say that this life style is bad, or that there is something terribly wrong with being a diehard competitor. Although, I think there might be something less interesting going on here within this life style.

If I am standing with three riders at a dinner party, let’s say, and two of them want to talk to me about their horse’s health or training, and the third person wants to talk about current events in North and South Korea, I absolutely would gravitate towards door number three, not because I detest horses, or talking to other riders, but I have more interests and ideas than just horses.

I have ZERO intentions at pointing fingers at those who have risen to the top of the sport, but missed out on educational opportunities. Rather, I think there’s something to be said about more worldly individuals. You don’t have to go to college to be fascinated by this planet and by what life has to offer. You don’t have to have a degree in engineering to travel the world. All of these options are out there for us and that’s up to us whether or not we want to explore, experience and learn more.

Maybe this blog is less about encouraging people to go to school, and more about becoming a well-rounded individual with thoughts that expand beyond the realm of horses. Perhaps this piece is a reminder to MYSELF to get out of my own head and appreciate all that I have. I want to remind myself and others that while we have incredible lives filled with horses, jumping and competitions, that there is still a universe out there simply waiting to be explored and contemplated!

this is EN...I had to include ONE horse pic!

Valonia attacking the ditch at Tamarck!

So much of life is about timing. People talk about being in the right place at the right time. We talk of opportunities that present themselves at specific moments in our lives. Countless individuals have careers because the timing was right, or have an amazing job all of a sudden because the timing was right. I would have to say that the horse world is completely built upon this notion of the perfect timing.

I have come to this realization rather later in life and I feel more at ease knowing this truth. My horse life has been a game of waiting. Waiting for the “right” horse to come along. Waiting to go advanced. Waiting to nail my distance to a jump 99% of the time. Waiting to have that perfect feel in dressage. Waiting to have more money. I grew up thinking every single one of my friends was ahead of me in this sport, as if riding horses were solely based on a competition, regardless if you were actually at an event or not. From my perspective, all of my friends had better horses than I did, and they were better riders than I was, and of course, better competitors. I was completely inside my own head and nothing I was doing was good enough. Frankly, this was an awful feeling to constantly cope with. I felt like a lesser person, and a weak rider in every aspect. So, yes, in the beginning I was always waiting for something to happen which was infuriating.

As I have mentioned before, 2006 was a pivotal point in my life. This was the year I decided to take a semester off from St. Lawrence University and start riding with Denny Emerson. This was the year I made the conscious decision that I was going to stop waiting for whatever it was that was going to change my life. I decided at that moment that I would stop feeling sorry for myself and stop thinking of myself as a lesser person and rider. When I arrived at Tamarack I had three real goals mind: 1) to become a much better rider and trainer, 2) to ride as many horses as I could get my hands on, and 3) to gain confidence.

Another piece to this time puzzle sneaks up in my life constantly. It should NOT play a role in my horse life, but it seems difficult at times to not acknowledge it’s presence, particularly when you are a competitive being, like so many of us are. Here’s the time issue: For example, both the horses I ride and compete are 8 years old and both horses are currently going Novice with the goal of moving both horses up to training when the timing is right. I can’t tell you how many times I have thought both horses are so far behind for their age. I have several friends that compete their 7 year olds and 8 year olds preliminary and above. I can’t tell you how many times people have come up to me and said when are you moving your horse up? Perhaps if some more experienced rider were sitting on my horse, then my horse would be going intermediate…who knows? Perhaps, if both horses I ride were trained and ridden by jumper riders in Europe they would both be grand prix show jumpers right now. How can I even think about that? How does this information enhance my riding and my goals….?? IT DOES NOT! I have to focus on me and my riding. I am not  Boyd Martin , Sinead Halpin, or Becky Holder….I am me and I have to go at my pace with the horse I have.

If all I can ever focus on is how far behind I am, or how far behind my horses are I will literally go mad. I have to focus on ME and MY riding. I have slowly learned to be more confident in myself and my riding. Nobody else in the entire world knows what it’s like to be me. They might have an idea, but nobody really knows except me. I have come to this understanding that you do not have to be winning CIC***’s, or competing 10 horses at Jersey Fresh in order to be a good, or even a great rider. Maybe I won’t be a solid prelim rider until I am 33 years old. I don’t want to rush my horses up through the levels right now and lose confidence or soundness along the way because I didn’t have the patience to make good decisions.

I am writing this blog to anyone who has ever doubted their riding, or felt completely discouraged with the level they are at, at the age they are. I want to encourage those who do not believe in themselves and to offer them support. Once you have confidence then your horse will have more confidence and people will start believing in you more. Once you believe in yourself there comes along this snowball effect. All of this takes time but it can be done. Riding horses will never be like watching a movie-you will never be able to rewind, pause or fast forward, that’s why you have to focus on your goals and your riding. If you never allow time or age to become a focal point in your riding career then you will succeed!

Skybreaker showing those cows he means business. Photo courtesy of Tamarack Hill Farm.

I have vivid memories of standing at the top of Killington Mountain in a GS suit freezing my butt off in the middle of January. My coach would wrap a huge wool blanket around me while I stood desperately waiting for my turn. I remember being so unbelievably cold and miserable, and I was never a very good racer because I was about 50 pounds lighter than the rest of my team. I stood at the top of the course thinking “why in God’s name do you do this to yourself?” 

Of course, I loved downhill skiing, but my inspiration on those particularly frigid afternoons came from two different thoughts. The first was devouring enormous Belgian waffles in the Waffle Shack when I finished the course. These were no ordinary waffles, let me tell you. The aroma was so powerful, I swear you could smell the waffles from halfway down the slopes. If that’s not inspiration to ski faster, I don’t know what is. Okay, so I loved Belgian waffles … so what?

My other inspiration to keep going and not give up when standing on the top of a mountain in a blizzard was thoughts of my support team waiting at the bottom of the mountain — usually my mom, sometimes my sisters, sometimes a friend outside the ski team, and, of course, all my buddies on the team. Sometimes, it’s not enough just to love a sport on your own. Sometimes your goals and dreams become exponentially larger when surrounded by and cheered on by people that believe in you. Without a support team, I don’t know how I would have done any of the sports I have done thus far, especially eventing.

This sport we all love so much is anything but easy. My life is completely consumed by horses, and sometimes that’s a great thing and sometimes it’s what hurts me. So many of us give everything to this sport, to our horses and to our riding … and for what? Sometimes we’ll come home with a shiny blue ribbon, or sometimes we have the best cross-country outing ever, or we finally left all the rails up in show jumping.

We spend all this time and all this money only to compete, or ride your horse for what … four to five minutes in dressage, four to six minutes on cross country and several minutes in show jumping. We prepare, we sweat, we fall off, we break ribs and we do all of this so we can ride for a grand total of 12 minutes (give or take) at a competition. We do this because we absolutely love it. But maybe it’s not just about us in the singular. Maybe it’s about us in the plural — you, your horse and your support team.

What I’m getting at is becoming discouraged or feeling defeated from time to time is part of what this sport draws out of us. Therefore, having people cheering us on and having people that can reinforce positivity and encouragement means the world. I have had days where I thought a 5-year-old who’s never sat on a horse before could ride a more fluid and accurate dressage test. I have had days where I thought I couldn’t see a distance to save my life or days where I was so angry because I had to retire on cross country or had multiple run outs. We’ve all had those days or competitions where you almost want to pack up and drive home. Having moments like these is precisely why it is crucial to have a support team around you.

I didn’t start out with the biggest support team, let me tell you. I used to be a whiny little brat. My mom and sisters would come support me at schooling shows when I was a little kid, and if I had a bad ride or I was embarrassed, I was just miserable to them. No wonder they stopped coming to my shows. I let my riding go straight to my head and didn’t consider anyone else’s feelings. Time passed, and I (thank God) grew up. My support team started showing up again — a little hesitant in the beginning, but now they are here for me with open arms, and it’s the best feeling in the world.

My mom comes to most of my events and cheers me on no matter what. She rolls my bandages, she helps with my horses — not because she has to, but because she is part of my team. Sometimes my sisters will come and watch more from a distance, but I know they are there. My sisters are not horse people, but they love what I do, which is awesome. My dressage trainer will show up to events, jumper shows — almost anything horse related and she’s there. Of course, Denny Emerson comes to almost every single event that we all go to. He offers a tremendous amount of support.

I simply cannot imagine doing all of this on my own. It takes a whole village to raise an event rider, am I right? The stress, the anxiety, the work overload — all these feelings build, and without people there encouraging you and cheering you on seem almost unbearable, at least from my perspective. I’m not suggesting that I can’t truck my horse’s over to a show and not have anyone around to help me. I have competed countless times where the only person around to help is me, though I prefer having a support team nearby. Having people there at an event helping you out with loading, or packing or bathing is great, but it’s more about the emotional support in my opinion. Having people at competitions that are excited for you and believe in you means more to me than I can almost put into words.

Skybreaker at GMHA