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Tyler Held
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Tyler Held

Achievements

Become an Eventing Nation Blogger

About Tyler Held

Dr. Tyler Held EdD CMPC is a professional groom and Certified Mental Performance Consultant. You may have seen her over the last few years working for International 5* Jennie Brannigan or listened to an episode of her podcast, The Whole Equestrian. Tyler started riding in summer camp at the age of 5 and essentially never looked back. She obtained her Undergraduate degrees in Animal Science and Equine Business Management from the University of Findlay in 2014. During this time, she spent her summers doing her first working student job at an eventing barn and quickly became obsessed with the sport. After experiencing some mental blocks in her own riding, she decided to focus more on grooming and learning more about Sport Psychology. In 2017 she moved to Chester County, PA to work as a Vet Tech and groom for Dr. Kevin Keane, which opened a lot of doors in the eventing community. Just as she finished her Master’s Degree in Sport and Performance Psychology, she took the reins at Brannigan Eventing as head groom. Now partially retired from grooming, Tyler is focusing on growing her consulting business, Thought Quest Mental Performance Solutions, and helping Equestrian athletes navigate the mental challenges that come with the sport.

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Between the Ears with Hannah Sue Hollberg

By on Jun 13, 2023 11:30 am -

It seems like these days we look at each other’s lives through the lens of a highlight reel. We get to see the incredible trips, the best jumps, and the moments that we’re proud enough of to put on social media. What we don’t talk about is how much pressure this adds to athletes on both ends of the news feed.

Riders, whether professional or not, are made to feel like they ‘have to’ post something that makes them look cool and successful. Then, as we consume this content, we are stuck with the disillusioned perception that the sport is easy and that if you’re not succeeding, then maybe you aren’t cut out for it. I would like to take this opportunity to go ‘between the ears’ of some of the riders that make up our Eventing Nation and work to understand some of the real challenges this industry presents.

To read more from the Between the Ears series, click here.

Hannah Sue Hollberg grew up on the back of a horse. Her mom had a lesson program in Kentucky, so as a young rider, she got exposed to anything and everything- from Polo to working at Churchill Downs and of course, eventing. When she was old enough, Hannah made her way to Karen and David O’Connor’s, where she was a working student and where she met her long-time sponsor, Ms. Jacqueline Mars.

Hannah has had an exciting career in eventing, including being a member of the 2011 Pan Am Gold Medal team, multiple trips overseas representing Team USA, plenty of 5* experiences, and a recent third place finish in the MARS Bromont CCI4*-L. Amidst the success, Hannah shares that there have been plenty of setbacks and challenges along the way. So let’s dig in and go between the ears.

Hannah Sue Hollberg and Harbour Pilot. Photo by Tilly Berendt.

Can you tell me about a time in your career when your confidence was the lowest and how you navigated through it?

“I think sometimes you don’t even know you’ve lost your confidence until you’ve found it again. At least, that was the case for me. At one point, I had a couple of horses that really made me doubt my eye to a fence. I was finding a distance that I thought was right and I would commit to it and it wouldn’t work out, and I ended up having some pretty bad falls that way.

Despite that, I was still getting sent overseas and I kept making mistakes on cross country and I couldn’t figure out why. In hindsight, I know I lacked the knowledge and experience to make changes but at the time, I didn’t know what to do but to blame myself.

That starts to weigh on you, and so I ended up in about a six-year period where I just didn’t think I was any good at eventing, or at least cross country. I was just terrified, and not even terrified of falling, just terrified of making a mistake. So instead of focusing on the changes I needed to make to ride more productively, I was focusing on all the stuff that I could mess up. It wasn’t a very healthy mindset to be in.

When I started to realize that my confidence really was an issue, getting it back was a bit of a two-fold process. On the riding and training side of things, I needed to break the cycle of just making mistakes and being frustrated about them.

I started riding with my now husband, Matt Hollberg and he changed the way I viewed the process. Every problem I would run into, he would help me find the answer and every mistake had a reason and a way to improve it. He was so systematic and nonjudgemental about it, that I started to be less judgemental and more solutions-focused myself. I don’t think there was anything wrong with the programs that I was in, but sometimes when you’re stuck in a cycle like that, it just takes someone saying the same things in a different way to help you get through it.

Then on the other side of things, I started working with a mindset coach, Natalie Hummel. I’ve known her since we were kids living in Kentucky, but we had lost contact for a while. I started seeing some of her posts on Instagram, and I felt a strong pull to contact her. I fought the urge for over six months, but finally, I realized that I needed to reach out and I’m so glad I did.

I had my first meeting with her while I was at the AECs about three years ago, and I was sitting in a chair in the cross-country field while they were running the Advanced and we just started talking through some stuff. When the subject of my suspension came up, I started crying — like really crying. And all these people were walking by, but that was the very first step to healing my trauma of being suspended and starting to heal my brokenness and all these things that I had told myself about myself that weren’t true.

I’ve been working with her ever since and she comes to the big events with me and she has completely changed my life. I feel like I can train my horses better, I’m not so hard on myself and I’ve learned how to manage my mind productively. I’ve learned that having a run out on cross country doesn’t define who you are and it doesn’t have to affect your confidence in the way that it does when you feel as if everything (including your self-worth) is riding on the results of an event.

It’s crazy how it had changed the way I focus. For the longest time, I was so afraid of all my mistakes and I was just hoping that I wasn’t going to make them, and then I would end up making more mistakes because I couldn’t think about the things I was supposed to be doing. Now I have the mental freedom to think and react to what’s happening in the present moment, which has made a world of difference in my recent results. The mind is so strong, it’s such a huge player in sports and life and if you’re not on top of it, it does have the power to ruin your experiences.”

Hannah Sue Hollberg and Capitol HIM. Photo by Tilly Berendt.

Have you ever experienced burnout? How did you overcome it?

“I love horses so much, and I don’t think I could find anything else that I would want to do, but at the same time, going through all the low points in my career, I was miserable. Sometimes I would be successful randomly, but there was so much negativity that I was putting on myself it was a real challenge. For me, getting over the burnout went hand in hand with rebuilding my confidence and recruiting the help of Matt and Natalie, and countless other members of my team who have helped pull me out of the slump.”

Hannah Sue Burnett and Harbour Pilot. Photo by Abby Powell.

How do you handle the loss of a partnership due to injury or retirement?

“I had a horse get injured this winter that I’ve worked so hard on and just got going well at the Advanced level. Luckily enough, I haven’t had an injury such as that in a while, so I almost forgot the sting of it. And it is disheartening because you put so much time and effort and thought into the constant care of these horses and there’s so much emotion that goes into it. And then you have to see your partner locked up in a stall because you don’t want them to get worse, and it’s just hard to see. I don’t have a ton of horses, and there’s no easy answer for dealing with injuries, but, you kind of have to just roll with the punches. When I’m upset, I let myself feel upset and then channel the energy that I would have put into that horse into something that I can improve on.

As far as retirement goes, I know I’m lucky that I got to retire William after a very full career. I knew before I ran him at Maryland that it would be his last event because he didn’t owe anything else to me- and he was sound and happy. It’s strange not having him at the shows after such a long career together but at the same time, it’s now a little bit like I’m starting over without the baggage of the experiences that I had with him.

I think for any of these kinds of setbacks, it’s important that I allow myself to feel how I feel and don’t judge myself for it. Then I try to focus on something positive and go from there. For a long time, I would classically bury all emotions but then I’d be heading to the start box at a huge event and all the negative emotions would creep up on me out of nowhere.”

Hannah Sue Burnett and Harbour Pilot. Photo by Shelby Allen.

What about advice for dealing with injuries yourself?

“It takes a long time for your mind to let go of the possibility of feeling and being hurt so you have to give yourself a lot of time. I’ve gotten hurt a few times and every time I’ve had to go through this process of healing my brain along with my body. So many people try to rush back into the saddle or back to their next event and I think that hurts them in the long run.

When you come back from injury and you feel hesitancy towards riding, it’s a completely normal response. That’s your brain trying to protect you. I had to learn to switch from trying to bottle those feelings up to kind of marveling at my mind instead of being judgemental of it. It’s OK to feel a little off or uncertain when you’re coming back from injury because it’s just your brain trying to keep you alive. So give yourself as much time as you need to get back to feeling good and do it progressively instead of just expecting to be right back to normal because that’s not realistic.”

Hannah Sue Burnett and Capitol HIM. Photo by Abby Powell.

What advice would you have for someone in the sport that’s currently facing adversity?

“I mean, I think we’re all facing adversity at all times in this sport. So this goes for everyone. You have to find a good team and surround yourself with people that understand you and allow you to make mistakes and are supportive.

If you feel like you can’t make mistakes or that you’re worried about making mistakes all the time, I think you need to change your team. It’s not easy to do, but I think in looking around at all the people that are successful around me, especially recently, we’re starting to figure out you’ll be more successful when you’re with someone who brings out the best in you. And it’s multiple people. You might have the best boyfriend in the world, but if he stresses you out during a high-pressure situation, maybe he shouldn’t be in the barns when you’re getting ready for cross country. If you have a groom or help with your horse they should be someone that you enjoy being around.

You have to respect each other completely and complement each other. And I think it’s important to realize that even if a team or a coach or an environment is awesome, it still might not be awesome for you — so you have to go out and find the right fit!”

Hannah is working towards the opportunity to represent Team USA this year at the Pan Ams, with her new mindset on board. Freeing up the focus from past mistakes to new opportunities.

I think the biggest lesson here is that you make mistakes, mistakes don’t make you. When you can separate who you are from how you do, be patient, nonjudgemental, and self-aware, you will grow at a much faster rate than if you get stuck in a loop of negativity and fear.

Dr. Tyler Held EdD CMPC is a professional groom and Certified Mental Performance Consultant. You may have seen her over the last few years working for International 5* Jennie Brannigan or listened to an episode of her podcast, The Whole Equestrian.

Tyler started riding in summer camp at the age of 5 and essentially never looked back. She obtained her Undergraduate degrees in Animal Science and Equine Business Management from the University of Findlay in 2014. During this time, she spent her summers doing her first working student job at an eventing barn and quickly became obsessed with the sport. After experiencing some mental blocks in her own riding, she decided to focus more on grooming and learning more about Sport Psychology. In 2017 she moved to Chester County, PA to work as a Vet Tech and groom for Dr. Kevin Keane, which opened a lot of doors in the eventing community.

Just as she finished her Master’s Degree in Sport and Performance Psychology, she took the reins at Brannigan Eventing as head groom. Now partially retired from grooming, Tyler is focusing on growing her consulting business, Thought Quest Mental Performance Solutions, and helping Equestrian athletes navigate the mental challenges that come with the sport.

Between the Ears with Isabelle Bosley

By on May 31, 2023 9:16 am -

It seems like these days we look at each other’s lives through the lens of a highlight reel. We get to see the incredible trips, the best jumps, and the moments that we’re proud enough of to put on social media. What we don’t talk about is how much pressure this adds to athletes on both ends of the news feed.

Riders, whether professional or not, are made to feel like they ‘have to’ post something that makes them look cool and successful. Then, as we consume this content, we are stuck with the disillusioned perception that the sport is easy and that if you’re not succeeding, then maybe you aren’t cut out for it. I would like to take this opportunity to go ‘between the ears’ of some of the riders that make up our Eventing Nation and work to understand some of the real challenges this industry presents.

To read more from the Between the Ears series, click here.

Isabelle Bosley and Night Quality. Photo by Tilly Berendt.

Isabelle Bosley is no stranger to the international horse show scene. She’s spent the past 8 years working for five-star event rider, Lillian Heard Wood, as a groom, rider, and just about everything in between. After several overseas trips grooming for Lillian, Izzy got her first crack at overseas competition herself in the spring of 2022.

What started as a grant to compete at Bramham ended up as a double whammy when Izzy was named to the Nations Cup team at Houghton Hall (talk about pressure!). The experience proved to be less than ideal from an outcome-based perspective: at Houghton, Izzy had a fall at the water, and she ended up retiring on course at Bramham. When I asked Izzy about her experience, she said, “Honestly, in all the failure, I’ve probably learned more than I have in five years before getting to that point.” Hopefully, by hearing about Izzy’s journey and experience, you will get a chance to learn something too!

Can you tell me a little bit about your horse background and start in eventing?

“Both of my parents train racehorses so I kind of grew up from day one in the barn with them. They didn’t put any pressure on me to do horses, and I don’t think they ever wanted me to make it a full-time career, but I picked up the bug. Once I had my first eventing lesson, I thought “this is it!” and never looked back.

“I first worked for Lillian in a ‘gap year’ after high school, but my parents made me go back to take classes at a community college the following fall. That year made me realize that I didn’t want to be in school and that I wanted to do horses full-time. My parents have always been supportive of me, but with their own experiences of what life is like in the horse industry, they wanted me to be realistic about what I was getting myself into. They told me ‘If you’re going to not do school, then you’re going to have to start paying your bills and making your way in the sport because it’s going to be tough, so you should start learning now.’

“In hindsight, I’m glad that I did go to school for that year because I think if I had gone straight into horses I would have always thought ‘Should I have gone to school?’ But I know I’m where I’m supposed to be one hundred percent. This is what I’m going to do for the rest of my life.”

Isabelle Bosley and Night Quality. Photo by Erin Gilmore Photography.

Talk me through your 2022 season. What roadblocks did you face and how did it affect your confidence?

“When I first moved Millbrook (Night Quality) up to Advanced in 2021, we had almost a fairytale season. He was going great, so I set my sights on getting a grant to go to Bramham the following year. I got the grant, and on top of that, I was named to the Nation’s Cup team for Houghton as a prep run. As a young kid doing their first trip overseas, I wasn’t as nervous as you would think, because I had done it so many times as a groom for Lillian. I knew the atmosphere and the competition would be intense because riders over there are insanely good. All I was thinking was, ‘This is going to be awesome for us.’

“The winter before my trip, I dislocated my shoulder, which put a little bit of a wrench in my plans. It was the second time I had dislocated that shoulder and I was feeling the physical effects of that and worried about my physical fitness. My prep runs didn’t feel quite like the runs I did in the fall before, which could have been partially my shoulder but I think maybe the difficulty of the level was just catching up with us. I was a young rider not seeing my strides all the way around and my horse was pretty green too. Looking back, I did progress through the levels pretty quickly and some of the gaps in my fundamentals just started to creep up on us.

“By the time we made it overseas, it was like the wheels just kind of fell off. We weren’t 100% confident and we were going around some of the toughest tracks that we had ever seen. When I fell off at Houghton, everyone on the team was incredible and supportive, but what was pressing on me was that 2 weeks later I was supposed to go to a four-long. Not exactly an ideal situation! But I had amazing support and connections through the team, so I pressed on.

“Another challenging factor was that I felt Millbrook wasn’t feeling 100% himself. I had to battle with this a lot because I constantly wondered if I was just overthinking things. I was overseas all day obsessing over my one horse when I’m normally staying busy all day with Lillian’s entire barn. I had to try to navigate my intuition with all of the heightened pressure of the environment that I was in. At Bramham, he gave one hundred and twenty percent around that course. And I mean, that course was extremely technical and challenging. We got ten minutes around the course and then got eliminated at the last water, where there was a monstrous drop in that I couldn’t make happen.

“Hindsight is 20/20. When I returned home, I got some vet work done and it turned out that he tested positive for EPM. Interestingly, EPM can lie dormant in a horse and be triggered by stress, which I think is what happened to Millbrook, with all the stress of the trip. Looking back, I feel like I should have trusted my gut a bit more when I thought he wasn’t feeling well, but that’s kind of just part of the learning game. The line between trusting your gut and overthinking is a tricky one! After getting the EPM sorted, Millbrook ended up having a pretty bad abscess that prevented us from having a fall season. It was almost like in a way, my whole year was botched and in another, I had learned so many important lessons I know I will take with me through the rest of my career.”

Isabelle Bosley and Night Quality. Photo by Tilly Berendt.

How have you moved forward from the experience?

“I ended up dislocating my shoulder a third time in the fall of 2022, so I had to get surgery that included a three-month recovery with absolutely no riding. I thought about it and the longest I have gone without riding since I can remember was three weeks when I dislocated my shoulder the first time.

“I’m the kind of person who feels weird when I’m not in the barn, so this was definitely a mental and emotional struggle for me. I was throwing myself a pity party, and then I realized that this, too, is part of the game. So I was able to rechannel that energy into positive reflection. I thought about everything I have done and where I want to go.

“I broke down my approach to riding and really took the time to refresh and refocus my mindset. I think the most important lesson I learned is that we can start to get selfish about our goals but we have to remember that the horse is a huge part of this too. I came into this year thinking we’d be so behind, but he’s come out this year feeling phenomenal. I think he needed the time to refresh just as much as I did.

“I feel really good about the way things have gone and now I’m just focused on getting both of our confidence levels where they need to be. I’ve just tried to go back to the basics with him a little bit and kind of establish our foundation a bit better, taking it show by show and not putting too much pressure on any year-end goals.”

Isabelle Bosley and Night Quality. Photo by Abby Powell.

Have you ever experienced burnout?

“I think the times I’ve felt most burnout and have questioned what I was doing coincided with not feeling like I was getting anywhere and being successful. I’ve always made the most of my time riding whatever horse that I’ve got. For a long time, I just rode whatever ex-racehorse I got from my Dad and these were great experiences but I wasn’t moving up levels.

“I worked for Lillian for five years before finding Millbrook, and right before he came into the barn was when I was most burnt out. It’s always helped that my parents are in horses and they’ve always given me good advice on those hard times and feeling stuck. Millbrook has been incredible for my career, but the reality is sometimes you’re just going to be the rider without the horse and you have to be able to keep perspective during those times. You have to take what you can get.

“You might get burnout from not having a horse, just like you might get burnout from going to too many competitions. You kind of have to roll with it. And when I am really feeling burnt out, just on the workdays themselves, I try to do something non-horse related. I have a lot of friends that aren’t a part of the horse industry and that’s been important to me as well.”

Isabelle Bosely and Night Quality. Photo by Shelby Allen.

What would you tell someone who is facing their own adversity in the sport?

“Talk to someone. A friend. A professional. Even sometimes just reading an article is enough. You’ll find that any rider, even the professionals at the top of the sport all go through adversity and it makes you feel better about the fact that even if you are going through a low, you’re in good company. For me, thinking about the fact that all these great riders have all dealt with the safe stuff I am reminded that it doesn’t make me any less of a rider and it doesn’t mean I’m good enough or that I should quit.

“It’s just part of the game, you gotta just be able to handle it and keep moving forward with it. And that’s a lesson that will help you not just in horses, it’s in many things that you would do in life.”

Izzy’s shoulder is healed and she and Millbrook are getting back to competing, with a new timeline and new perspective. For me, hearing Izzy’s story highlights the paradox around goals. Of course, you have to have them, especially if you want to be on teams and ride at a high level — but sometimes it’s in pursuit of those goals that we lose sight of what is important.

We let the pressure of the future change the way we experience the here and now. Realistically, if you are in horses, you are going to go through struggles, so the more we can normalize talking about them and helping each other navigate the rough patches, the more our industry will benefit.

Between the Ears with Sydney Solomon

By on May 9, 2023 9:30 am -

It seems like these days we look at each other’s lives through the lens of a highlight reel. We get to see the incredible trips, the best jumps, and the moments that we’re proud enough of to put on social media. What we don’t talk about is how much pressure this adds to athletes on both ends of the news feed.

Riders, whether professional or not, are made to feel like they ‘have to’ post something that makes them look cool and successful. Then, as we consume this content, we are stuck with the disillusioned perception that the sport is easy and that if you’re not succeeding, then maybe you aren’t cut out for it. I would like to take this opportunity to go ‘between the ears’ of some of the riders that make up our Eventing Nation and work to understand some of the real challenges this industry presents.

To read more from the Between the Ears series, click here.

Sydney Soloman and Early Review C. Photo by Tilly Berendt.

Sydney Solomon just had her first crack at the big leagues, taking Laurie Cameron’s Early Review C around the majority of the Land Rover Kentucky Three-Day Event CCI5* track before parting ways at fence 23, just before the 10-minute mark of an 11:26 minute course. So much pressure can go into the outcome of an event like this, so I wanted to get between the ears with Sydney to talk about her experience and her career in the sport that got her here.

Can you tell me a little bit about your background and introduction to eventing?

“My first experience of eventing was when a trainer of mine took me and some other girls from my barn to watch the Fair Hill three-star [now 4*]. We watched a PBS documentary on the O’Connor Event team on the way, so it really was a crash course on the sport. I got my first horse, Bella when I was eight and she was four, and as you can imagine, it wasn’t an easy partnership. Even when I was 10 and Bella was six, eventing the mare didn’t seem like a viable option. So I took my Mom’s draft horse around Beginner Novice and Novice, which was fun to watch because I was tiny and she was giant. Eventually, I got another horse, Lillian Pink, who is actually closely related to my upper-level mount today, Coco. Lily’s full sister is Coco’s mother. Lily and I did young riders and 30 or so Prelims together while training with Lillian Heard. Lillian Heard also helped me shape Bella into a Prelim horse, something that I wasn’t sure would be possible. So with both horses, I got a ton of mileage before I had even finished high school. When Lillian Pink had to be put down after a freak incident in her stall, I was so grateful to have Bella to keep me going.”

How did you end up running your own training business?

“After I graduated high school, I took a gap year to go work for Phillip Dutton as a working student. After two years there, I had three horses in training and Phillip was downsizing his program at the time, so at the age of 20, I essentially went out on my own, renting stalls at True Prospect farm for my horses. At the time, I was thinking I might still go back to school, so I didn’t want to commit to another program, and also with three horses, it’s difficult to go and work for someone else. I had this great opportunity to ride all these horses and I wasn’t sure I would get it somewhere else. In hindsight, maybe I should have gone down to one horse and been in a program, but one of the things I got from going out on my own so young was really learning to think for myself. It was terrifying not having help all the time, but I competed a lot, and had some really accelerated learning. There was a lot of failure but I also had a lot of success. I have to give so much credit to Laurie who trusted me throughout that experience. I did learn how to be very independent and I did come around to be more comfortable doing things without someone telling me every step of the way, although even now I wish I had people telling me what to do more.”

Sydney Solomon and Early Review CBF. Photo by Tilly Berendt.

Can you tell me a little bit about your confidence as a rider?

“I definitely had plenty of horse shows that didn’t go the way I wanted them to. That being said, sometimes you can throw everything you have at making your horses go well and you’re still going to go and have problems I’ve had plenty of events where I’ve taken a ton of lessons beforehand but if the horse doesn’t like a ditch it’s not going to jump a ditch and at the end of the day those lessons didn’t matter, but also to be able to reflect back at those events and see that things did go well. I think I am constantly up and down in confidence, and maybe a lot of other riders feel this way as well.

“In 2021 my confidence was at its lowest, I felt like Coco and I would have one really good event and then we would have one really bad event and our best phase was cross country, and all of a sudden we weren’t getting around the cross country- and I was constantly questioning what I was doing wrong. We discovered that she was having issues tying up but it was still me saying ‘wow, I rode horribly’ and sometimes I still have events where I feel like that and sometimes I think ‘I have so much experience, I should be better at this than I am’ – I have probably done over 120 Prelims but it’s still not an easy level and taking any horse around Prelim is not easy.

“Sometimes you get on one horse one day and you can see every distance perfectly and you think that you’ve figured it out, riding horses, and then you get on the next one and they’re leaving the ground at awkward distances and you remember that you don’t.”

Have you ever experienced burnout? How do you handle burnout?

“The hard thing for me with burnout is that if things aren’t going well, I can’t stop. I feel like I can’t take time off because I need to make progress. The times that I am most burnout are when I feel like I’m just not good enough. It doesn’t have anything to do with the crazy hours or anything like that- it wouldn’t matter if I’m having easy days and getting done at 4 p.m. or a hard day and working until 8 p.m..

“When I feel this way, taking lessons usually helps me get out of it. I go into those lessons with an intention and I usually see results in those circumstances. I go to someone that I trust and feel comfortable with. I genuinely feel like I just have to get better at this, and that’s probably something that every rider feels for their entire career that they just have to improve their skills and for me, that’s the best therapy for a lack of confidence” Lessons give me actionable advice that gives me the plan to move forward with.”

OK, let’s talk about Kentucky, what emotions did you feel throughout the event?

“I was more emotional than I have been in a very long time. I’ve done a lot of four-stars and that’s pretty close to the top level of the sport but it’s nothing compared to the energy at the five-star level. Being at Kentucky I teared up a little as they said ‘Early Review, accepted’ [at the Horse Inspection] and that’s so not me. I’ve learned to separate from the emotions of the sport a lot, you kind of have to in order to survive because if you let yourself feel all the emotions and disappointments that come with this sport, you can’t live like that, because there’s too much. Even on a good day, I’m not crying tears of joy even if I’ve had the best show of my life. Going into the dressage ring, I also felt myself shed a tear. For my next five-star, I don’t think I’ll feel so emotional.”

What were you most afraid of?

“Going into the event my biggest fear was that I was going to go and have a rough cross country round and that’s exactly what happened. I knew I was going to be nervous about cross country because I’ve been nervous about that course for the past two years. I felt like my first few jumps I really attacked and that was great.

“But at some point in the course, my eye wasn’t seeing them forward anymore. I so desperately didn’t want to have something stupid happen that I wasn’t going to trust my eye to see a big open distance. At the coffin, Coco was amazing to get it done, but in my head, I already started telling myself ‘here goes my embarrassing cross country round in front of hundreds of thousands of people.’

“It’s one thing when you go to an Advanced horse trials and you’re in the back of the course and you have a bad jump and the only one who sees it is the jump judge but at Kentucky, there are so many people watching everything you, and maybe I should have ignored that, but it helped me at the beginning of the course and hindered me as soon as things started to get a little rocky.

“We were clean up until fence 23 — basically minute 10 of an 11:26 minute course, and when I fell, I was upset, but I felt like I deserved it and I was just happy that Coco was ok. I wasn’t upset that I fell off, I was upset that I hadn’t ridden better throughout the rest of the course, especially since Coco was so game for it, and she tried so hard. I kept saying to myself, what an amazing horse I am sitting on, but I’m just riding so poorly, and it was definitely worse in the places where there were tons of people watching.

“It was a great learning experience because I know focusing too much on what I looked like to everyone else took away from my ability to focus on riding better. Next time, instead of thinking about the fear of a bad round, I’m going to tell myself that ‘I’m going to go out there and do my best’”

Sydney Solomon and Early Review C. Photo by Tilly Berendt.

What advice would you give to a young rider with the hopes of making it to the five-star level?

“Find someone who you trust and who is willing to put time into you and learn everything you can from that person.”

At Kentucky, Sydney was awarded the Richard Picken Sportsmanship Award, voted on by other riders at the event. This award was created to honor the late jumping trainer Richard Picken and was awarded to Sydney for her demonstration of a measurable feat of sportsmanship during the event. As a competitor, Sydney is probably one of the nicest human beings that you will find on the scene. It’s not easy to go to Kentucky and come up just short of finishing, but Sydney did so with class, and never for a second laid blame on her horse.

I am so glad that Sydney opened up about her experience and where her focus was on Cross Country day, because fear of other people’s opinions is common at any level.

While seeking the approval of others is a very natural phenomenon, it takes a lot of the rider’s power away. The more we focus on not embarrassing ourselves, the less we focus on the process of riding well and being in the moment. If I tell you “don’t think about a pink elephant”, I dare you not to think about a pink elephant. It’s almost impossible.

Similarly, when we tell ourselves “don’t mess up in front of all these people” all our brain hears is “you’re going to mess up in front of all these people.” Enter: the paradox of wanting to do well, without trying too hard.

I know Sydney will continue to crack on at her goals, and I am excited to see how learning from this experience will shape her mindset in the future.

Between the Ears with Stephanie Simpson

By on May 2, 2023 9:00 am -

It seems like these days we look at each other’s lives through the lens of a highlight reel. We get to see the incredible trips, the best jumps, and the moments that we’re proud enough of to put on social media. What we don’t talk about is how much pressure this adds to athletes on both ends of the news feed.

Riders, whether professional or not, are made to feel like they ‘have to’ post something that makes them look cool and successful. Then, as we consume this content, we are stuck with the disillusioned perception that the sport is easy and that if you’re not succeeding, then maybe you aren’t cut out for it. I would like to take this opportunity to go ‘between the ears’ of some of the riders that make up our Eventing Nation and work to understand some of the real challenges this industry presents.

To read more from the Between the Ears series, click here.

Boyd Martin’s Tsetserleg and his groom Stephanie Simpson. Photo by Leslie Threlkeld.

Grooming, especially at the highest level, is one of those jobs that looks glamorous from the outside. With international trips and the opportunity to be part of the success of elite riders, there ARE a lot of really cool things about being a groom. As with anything, however, the lifestyle doesn’t come without its challenges.

Having spent some time as a professional 5* groom myself, I know how turbulent the position can be. I’ve always felt like in Equestrian sports, there is equal opportunity for triumph or heartbreak and as a groom, you really feel those highs and lows right alongside the riders. Stephanie Simpson, who has been Boyd Martin’s head groom since May of 2018, has an uncanny ability to work hard and remain positive regardless of what kind of pressure is on at any given moment. This edition of Between the Ears is a must-read for anyone interested in pursuing a life with horses.

What do you think helps you maintain the lifestyle of a groom?

“I think one of the biggest things that has helped me maintain my lifestyle as a groom is my obsession with the sport. My involvement in this program is much more than a nine-to-five job, it has become my entire lifestyle I am in a never-ending pursuit to improve. I find the work and hustle quite rewarding and something I look forward to every day.”

How do you manage to have your own goals while grooming? Do you still ride and compete or have any desire to do so?

“Managing my own goals has become two-fold. On the one hand, I oversee this program that is full of horses at every level that I am incredibly dedicated to, which is always my first priority. On the other hand, I do enjoy riding and bringing along my own project horses. Most days I ride once Boyd is done for the day and the majority of the work is done. It’s very rewarding for me to bring along my own horse and still be able to work on myself. If nothing else, it’s 45 minutes when I don’t have my phone on me and for the most part am not on the clock. As one can imagine, I am on the road quite a bit so my horse’s competition schedule is nearly non-existent but Boyd has ridden him at a few shows for me which has been so valuable for his education.”

Stephanie Simpson and Tsetserleg in Tokyo. Photo via Stephanie Simpson.

How does managing a head groom’s position affect your confidence about your own riding?

“My role as a groom has given me a very unique perspective on my own riding. I am very fortunate to be in the presence of some of the best horsemen, trainers, and coaches in the world and I get the opportunity to use bits and pieces of this knowledge in my own riding. With a program as big as ours, there are so many different horses that all go differently which makes for a well-rounded perspective. I’ve spent an immeasurable number of hours watching lessons, setting jumps, and listening to instruction at every level which I can apply to my own riding. I also think that being surrounded by professionals has given me a very good understanding of how difficult this sport can be but also how important having a good program is.”

Have you ever experienced burnout and what do you do to avoid/overcome burnout?

“I think that most people in this industry have experienced burnout at some level. For me, burnout is something that I am aware of and try to avoid at all costs. Luckily I find a lot of happiness and satisfaction in my job and thrive in chaos. In our program, there is a lot of consistency which satisfies the type A part of my personality, but also a lot of variety which helps keep things interesting. In order to avoid burnout I think that it’s important to find small things that keep you engaged whether that’s horse related or not. I also think that mastering skills and learning your trade, whatever that may be, adds to the feeling of accomplishment which continues to create drive.”

I want to highlight what Steph says here about ‘mastering skills and learning your trade.’ In a fast-paced and physically demanding job such as grooming, I think most people turn to things like Netflix to take the pressure off, relax and try not to get burnout.

It is counterintuitive but sometimes more work, if directed in the right way might be just what you need to rekindle the spark for the job. Feeling like you are mastering and fulfilling your talent is the highest level of psychological development and is a need that drives us all forward. Don’t let physical exhaustion get in the way of mastering the skills you need to feel like you are becoming the best version of yourself.

Tsetserleg and Stephanie Simpson. Photo by Sally Spickard.

What do you think is the biggest obstacle you’ve faced in your career?

“My biggest obstacle on the way to achieving the things that I have would be the concept of self-belief. I did not grow up in the horse industry so the idea that I’ve been able to work my way into the manager role at the top of the sport is something that sometimes feels surreal. To evolve from a struggling working student to grooming at the Olympics and winning a 5* sometimes makes me wonder if I’m even qualified to be in these situations. I think that everyone goes through some sort of existential crisis as they evolve in their career and transform from the one asking the questions and becoming the person being asked.”

What advice do you have for someone in the sport who is currently facing adversity?

“My advice for someone facing adversity in the sport would be to know your worth and seek opportunities that get you where you want to go. I would encourage everyone to work as hard as possible and make connections with people who add value to your life. It’s important to make genuine connections with people within the industry because chances are most people can relate and possibly offer a solution. I’ve been very lucky to climb this ladder but it hasn’t been without a lot of blood, sweat, and tears. Adversity is something that people face in every aspect of life, so I would use it as motivation rather than the reason why things didn’t work out.”

If you’ve ever seen Steph in action, you know that her work ethic speaks for itself. She’s the kind of person who can take eight horses to a jumper show all day on a Tuesday, get home, repack the trailer, and head to an FEI Event with seven more horses less than 12 hours later, always with a smile on her face.

There’s a certain level of passion, for the horses and for the sport that you have to have to get you through the hard times in this sport. The fact of the matter is there will always be setbacks, whether you are a groom or a rider, plans will change, horses will go lame, and sometimes it’s not all sunshine and daisies.

You can’t choose what hardships might come your way, but you can choose to put value and passion into the work that you are doing so they never seem too overwhelming.

Between the Ears with Alexa Lapp

By on Apr 1, 2023 11:00 am -

It seems like these days we look at each other’s lives through the lens of a highlight reel. We get to see the incredible trips, the best jumps, and the moments that we’re proud enough of to put on social media. What we don’t talk about is how much pressure this adds to athletes on both ends of the news feed.

Riders, whether professional or not, are made to feel like they ‘have to’ post something that makes them look cool and successful. Then, as we consume this content, we are stuck with the disillusioned perception that the sport is easy and that if you’re not succeeding, then maybe you aren’t cut out for it. I would like to take this opportunity to go ‘between the ears’ of some of the riders that make up our Eventing Nation and work to understand some of the real challenges this industry presents.

To read more from the Between the Ears series, click here.

Alexa Lapp and Cambalda. Photo by Amy Flemming-Waters / AFW Photography.

Nearly every time I open my Facebook feed, there is a “help wanted” ad looking for working students, grooms, and riders. People who stay in a program for more than six months to a year are becoming an exception, not a rule.

From the outside looking in, a combination of burnout, confidence issues, financial issues, and unrealistic expectations are plaguing the industry. For this edition of Between the Ears, I decided to catch up with Alexa Lapp, who has spent over eight years working for Jennie Saville (nee Brannigan). Alexa is currently handing over the reins of her self-produced CCI3* horse, Pasco, to Jennie and going to take some time to explore the world outside of horses; however, her hard work over the last decade is something that can’t be ignored.

What are the main reasons you stayed in one program instead of “barn hopping” like many in the industry do?

I’ve been working for Jennie full-time for eight years but I helped her on and off for the two years before that. I think the main reason I stayed is that it was a good fit, I liked Jennie’s teaching style and her horsemanship. I also do think being loyal to someone will more likely give you opportunities. You can’t expect someone to take a chance on you if they think you may up and leave in a few months. That being said, you shouldn’t stay somewhere if it’s not the right fit; I got lucky that my first trainer knew Jennie and that we got along so well right from the beginning.

Alexa is right about putting the effort in to get the opportunities out. I think so many people think they deserve to ride and compete right away, but development as an equestrian athlete is a long haul. Alexa got to run her first Advanced on Jennie’s CCI5* mount Cambalda (Ping), but that opportunity was not just given to her — it was earned through hard work, time, and dedication.

Can you tell me about a time that you lost your confidence in riding or competing?

When I went to Young Riders in 2016, I was the trailblazer for my area because I had never had a stop on my horse ever and I ended up being eliminated. Jennie gave me some really good advice to help me overcome this. She said ‘it may feel like your world is ending at the moment but in a few months, it’s not going to matter’. We went home and schooled the same thing she stopped at, went to my next show and she jumped a similar thing. It’s good to remind yourself that they are animals, and you can always school them better or train them better when you make a mistake or one of you loses confidence. There’s also no shame in stepping back down and building yourself back up.

Jennie’s advice is aligned with something commonly referred to as the 5 by 5 rule: “If something won’t matter in five years, don’t waste more than five minutes worrying about it now.” In my experience, both as an athlete and a mental performance coach, I tend to give a little bit more than five minutes to process negative emotions, but the acceptance part of this advice is so important.

So many people think goal pursuit is linear and that if you put in the work, the performance will follow. While this is true in some regards, our sport is so variable, and pursuing a goal will all your heart may lead to success, but there will also likely be rejection, illness, injury, unfairness, and failure along the way too. As long as you can stay focused on the things you value in your pursuit, you’ll be better equipped to handle the setbacks when they come.

Alexa Lapp and Cambalda. Photo by Jenni Autry.

Can you tell me about a time you felt most burnt out and what factors you believe contributed to those feelings?

I think I was most burnt out when we stepped Ping down from the Advanced level and I was competing with just a few young horses at the Novice level, including Pasco. Young horses have a way of making you feel incompetent. In theory, I had this amazing opportunity to ride for the Gardners and had two of my own going as well, but I got stuck in a mindset where I felt like I wasn’t doing a good enough job producing them and it was pretty tough.

I had also just spent every penny I had on Pasco so I was working any job I could to afford his bills. When you’re working long, hard hours and still barely getting by it’s hard to picture life being any different. During this time, I had to remind myself that things aren’t always going to be perfect. I went to Jennie to talk about how I was feeling and she helped adjust my schedule and gave me more lessons on the horses I felt I was struggling with. She helped me remember why I was getting the opportunities that I was, and help me focus more on the good than the bad. It’s also good to have friends that are in a similar situation. Almost anyone that has a young horse is going to feel stuck or frustrated, so I connected with my friends that could relate.

Sometimes when things are falling apart they might actually be falling into place. Steve Jobs said, “You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.” Alexa is right in that it’s hard to see a future or stay motivated when all you have are young unpredictable horses that you put a lot of work into one day and that still try to buck you off the next. Being able to embrace the growing pains and trust the future really can help with burnout.

What was one of the biggest obstacles you had to overcome on your way to one of your proudest achievements (and what were they)?

My proudest achievement was producing Pasco to the CCI3*-L level. Honestly, being able to financially support him to this level was the biggest obstacle. Besides entry fees, there are cross country schooling fees, vet bills, farrier bills, and more. I had to ask for help to make it possible, which I was lucky to get, but it’s always a little bit uncomfortable to ask people for financial help.

Can you tell me a little bit about the emotions you experienced the weekend you moved up to Advanced for the first time?

I remember not believing it was going to happen — like something silly was going to ruin it.

My dressage went really well and then Jennie had a bad fall and I wasn’t sure that I should even run. I was so emotional finishing cross country because I was happy to have completed it but sad that Jennie wasn’t there for it. I went on to finish third, which was an incredible feeling. I was so grateful and everyone was so supportive and had so many kind words. I don’t think I’ll ever forget any details of that weekend.

This was actually my first weekend working for Jennie, and I remember Alexa grappling with the idea of scratching from the show. In the midst of a lot of chaos, she was able to produce an excellent result. Sometimes distractions actually make us narrow our focus and shift into a “get it done” mindset, but it’s all about how you chose to react. If you have a reason to fail, and you give in to it, you will most likely sabotage your own chances, but if you can reappraise the situation and remain focused in spite of distractions, you may actually set yourself up for peak performance.

Alexa Lapp and Cambalda. Photo by Leslie Wylie.

What advice do you have for someone in the sport who is currently facing adversity??

Stick through the tough part — it always gets better. Don’t be afraid to ask for help or talk to someone; everyone has gone through bad times in this sport. I also really think it’s important to have something that you love outside of the horses so that when things aren’t going great it doesn’t feel like your whole world is crashing down

How did you feel when you found out Jennie was going to be able to keep Pasco and what’s next for you?

I mainly felt relief. I’ve been so concerned about making sure he was going to go to a good person I was happy he’d be staying with a person and program I know and respect so much. Obviously selling him was bittersweet but this was a best case scenario! I’m going to get a “normal” job and then I am planning a trip to Europe to spend a few months there this fall. I still hope to help Jennie at the big events and come to visit the horses! I’ve known most of the horses since they were four-year-olds or younger than that so I’ll be keeping up with them and Jennie. In a year or so I’ll reevaluate and probably get another young one to produce if I haven’t already bought one by then.

I know I can’t wait to see how far Jennie and Pasco will go, and couldn’t be happier for all parties involved. Good luck to Alexa on her next adventure, although as she said, I’m sure we’ll still be seeing her around.

Between the Ears with Emily Hamel

By on Mar 15, 2023 1:00 pm -

It seems like these days we look at each other’s lives through the lens of a highlight reel. We get to see the incredible trips, the best jumps, and the moments that we’re proud enough of to put on social media. What we don’t talk about is how much pressure this adds to athletes on both ends of the news feed.

Riders, whether professional or not, are made to feel like they ‘have to’ post something that makes them look cool and successful. Then, as we consume this content, we are stuck with the disillusioned perception that the sport is easy and that if you’re not succeeding, then maybe you aren’t cut out for it. I would like to take this opportunity to go ‘between the ears’ of some of the riders that make up our Eventing Nation and work to understand some of the real challenges this industry presents.

To get started, I spoke with 5* rider Emily Hamel, who just so happens to be one of my very best friends. Now, I think Emily is great about being vulnerable both on social media and in person, however, after coming off of a year in Europe and successfully completing both Badminton and Burghley, it’s hard not to romanticize her and Barry’s journey to the top. So let’s go ahead and take a journey between the ears…

Photo courtesy of Emily Hamel.

Can you tell me about a time that you lost your confidence in your riding? How did you overcome it?

“The summer/early fall of 2019 was a rough patch for Barry and me. We were struggling to get our second 4*-L qualification after completing our first 4*-L brilliantly at Fair Hill in the fall of 2018. I went into Bromont that summer feeling great, but a few silly rider errors on cross country and the first E on our record.

I was pretty devastated by this mostly because I felt I should have done better. After allowing myself to be sad for a day, I promptly devised a plan and started training hard for Fair Hill in the fall. Again, I was feeling great going into the event, but unfortunately got launched out of the saddle at fence 7 on cross country when we disagreed on the distance to the Trakehner. This crushed my confidence in my riding and I wondered if I would ever get qualified to run a 5*.

Luckily, I had been through enough disappointments before and know there was no use dwelling on it. However, I give myself a day or two max to throw myself a pity party. After the party is done, I come up with a new plan. In this situation, it consisted of me extending my season and aiming for the 4*-L at Jockey Club in Ocala. Leading up to the event, I had several cross country lessons with Phillip to boost my confidence through competence which led to a great outcome and qualifying score.”

I love how Emily says “Luckily, I had been through enough disappointments” here. While there are certaintly events and circumstances that can shake our confidence, it is actually being able to push through difficult times that make us more mentally tough and in turn, more confident.

Emily’s belief in herself and her abilities have been able to help her push through mistakes and difficulties even beyond the struggles she experienced in the 2019 season.

After coming very close to taking a swim at Badminton, Emily went on to finish a beautiful cross country round. In those moments, there is no space for self-doubt, only trust in yourself and your ability to do hard things. In the sport of eventing, it’s so unrealistic to think everything is going to go perfectly all the time, it is however, realistic to expect yourself to get stronger with every obstacle you overcome.

Emily Hamel and Corvett. Photo by Shelby Allen.

Have you ever experienced burnout? Why? What tools did you use to get through it?

“Oh yeah, because working with horses is hard! I’ve worked in the horse industry for myself and other professionals since high school. Throughout the years, I have experienced varying forms of burnout. It happens most often when I’m working hard AND feeling like I’m not moving in the right direction. One can be manageable for a while, but both are a lethal combo.

Whenever I feel like burnout is coming, I know it’s time for something to change. That’s part of the reason I decided to go to England last year. Not only did I want to compete at Badminton and Burghley, but I also wanted time and space to focus on Barry and figure out my next step after our European adventure.”

What was one of the biggest obstacles you had to overcome on your way to one of your proudest achievements?

“I would say injuring my knee and having to have surgery four weeks before competing at Badminton was quite the obstacle. I was on a serious emotional roller coaster for a while there with being on the waitlist for Badminton, then hurting my knee, then getting the news I got off the waitlist, then expediting my surgery/recovery time so I could ride at Badminton.

I couldn’t have done it without the amazing group of people who took care of me and my horses while I healed. Shout out to Tyler for wheeling me out of the barn on a tack trunk! So when I completed Badminton it was a huge win in so many ways.”

I think the biggest takeaway here is perseverance. There are countless stories of individuals who overcome physical, mental, and financial limitations through unstoppable perseverance.

As I was literally carrying Emily around less than a month before she was supposed to head overseas, I saw her worry, I saw her question but I never saw her give up completely. She made a plan, and she found her way. I had joked with Emily a few months before when she rented her house out for the year before heading to Aiken and said “I guess you’re just going to have to make this happen, Badminton, Burghley the whole nine yards” — and she did.

Confidence is just the colloquial term for self-efficacy –- the belief that you can successfully do a particular thing. Maybe it’s wild to think, “I’m getting knee surgery and then getting on a plane to run my first overseas event at the 5* level”, but clearly it worked.

We don’t get to choose which obstacles stand in our way, but we do get to choose how we react to them, and in that choice, our experience can and will change.

Emily Hamel and Corvett at Badminton. Photo by Nico Morgan Media.

What advice do you have for someone in the sport currently facing adversity?

“Welcome to the club! No matter how perfect someone’s journey may look, there is no doubt they have had to overcome multiple things to get to that place. I think knowing that you are not alone in the struggle is the most important thing and having a good support system to help you get through it is key. Also, I always like the think that it’s the adversity that makes for a good story. So as much as it may suck in the moment know that it will make the wins that much better in the end.”

The Power of Perception in Addressing Mental Health for Equestrians

By on Jan 18, 2023 3:25 pm -

Tyler Held shares a moment with FE Lifestyle. Photo by Tilly Berendt.

Dr Tyler Held is a professional groom and Sport and Performance Psychology Consultant. You may have seen her over the last few years working for 5* rider Jennie Brannigan or listened to an episode of her podcast, The Whole Equestrian. Tyler started riding at summer camp at the age of 5 and essentially never looked back. She obtained her Undergraduate degrees in Animal Science and Equine Business Management from the University of Findlay in 2014. During this time, she spent her summers doing her first working student job at an eventing barn and quickly became obsessed with the sport. After experiencing some mental blocks in her own riding, she decided to focus on grooming and learning more about Sport Psychology. In 2017 she moved to Chester County, PA to work as a Vet Tech and groom for Dr. Kevin Keane, which opened a lot of doors in the eventing community. Just as she finished her Master’s Degree in Sport and Performance Psychology, she took the reins at Brannigan Eventing as head groom. Now partially retired from grooming, Tyler is focusing on life as a Certified Mental Performance Coach (CMPC).

My good friend (and five-star rider) Emily Hamel and I have talked about mental health for equestrians for the past four years as an element to our podcast, The Whole Equestrian, with the mission of bridging the gap between riding and wellness. We’ve provided actionable advice, and we’ve gotten positive feedback from our listeners who have been able to put the lessons to work in their everyday life. And yet, as someone who knows the reality of working in an eventing barn in this country, I still feel like our dream to promote health and happiness through our love of horses is just that: more a dream than a reality.

In our dream, workers can take sick days, plan and keep doctor’s appointments, sit down to eat a healthy lunch, and see their families more than once a year. The dream is that these individuals have time to pursue a hobby outside of horses, cook healthy meals for themselves, and even cross-train their bodies and minds outside of the barn and the saddle. 

The reality, as someone who has lived it, is a bit different. The reality is that horses require around-the-clock care. Managing them exhausts most of our physical and mental energy for the day, and even if you wanted to eat healthy or work out, the time and resources to do those things are non-existent. 

Don’t get me wrong, when I was grooming I tried to do all the things. I made it a personal mission to ignore the ‘harsh realities’ and worked to pave my own path. I practiced Jiu Jitsu almost daily, I took classes towards my doctorate in sport and performance psychology, I read books, I meal-prepped, I pursued relationships outside of the barn and I even snuck in a few ‘non-horse’ related trips. However, in doing all these things, I suffered from a lot of stress and anxiety. I rarely lived in the present moment because I was always thinking of the ‘next thing’ on my to-do list and I even suffered from some pretty severe stress rashes. On the outside, I was doing all the ‘right’ things I had learned from my study of high performance that were supposed to make me successful, and yet by pushing too hard and doing too much, I actually ended up in a stress overload. 

I’ve had a lot of time over the last year to think about this particular problem, and how mental health can be more attainable within the harsh realities of our industry. Now, I’m not saying that there aren’t things that could and should be done on the side of the employers and the structure of our industry to make things better, but that’s another article for another day. Instead, I want to talk about how our perspective (something we can control) can help us feel a little bit more healthy, no matter what circumstances we find ourselves in at this moment. And I hope to do this using a parable about three bricklayers, who are working to construct a church. 

When asked “what are you doing?”, the first bricklayer says, “I am laying bricks”; the second bricklayer says, “I am building a wall”; and the final bricklayer exclaims, “I am building a house for God.” The physical task that these three bricklayers are doing is identical and yet the more meaning they put behind the task, the more they’ll be driven and inspired throughout the process.

I bring up this example because when I first started grooming, I truly felt that I was like that third bricklayer, building a house for God. Any sacrifice that I made didn’t feel like a sacrifice at all, because it served a greater purpose and helped me belong to the sport of eventing in a way that made me feel empowered and unstoppable. 

The tricky thing about perspective is that almost anything can shift it. It can be an injury (to yourself or your horse), a string of bad weather, a bad performance at a show or in a lesson, or a bad fall. Or, if you’re like me, maybe you just tried to do too many things at once and burnt yourself out and all of a sudden what once felt like building a house for God turned into just laying bricks. 

Now, I’ve never been a bricklayer before, but I can imagine that the task reduced down to the task itself becomes monotonous, back-breaking work. Not unlike mucking out yet another stall, taking another horse out to the turnout field that is farthest away from the barn, or doing another 35-minute trot set on the same track you’ve just taken five other horses on. 

It doesn’t matter how we lose our perspective, but it certainly does suck when it happens. Because the thing is, most people get into horses for the love and there’s nothing more heartbreaking than when something that you love doesn’t bring the same joy to you that it once did. 

So I invite you to spend some time thinking about yourself, and your journey with horses and the bricklayers. Why are you here? Can you put yourself back in the shoes of that excited, nervous feeling you felt when you first stepped into the saddle at pony camp? Do you remember how awestruck you were the first time you watched a horse gallop past you on the cross country at Kentucky? Do you remember the last time you spent time with a horse and really enjoyed them for the pure magic that they bring us? 

Reconnect with your ‘why’, and define the value that you get out of this industry. Strong values drive committed action and they might just bring a little bit more of a spark to the in-and-out day-to-day manual labor that “comes with the job”.  And, if you find yourself in a space where you’ve searched your soul and you still can’t find that spark, keep looking. My life now isn’t anything like what my horse-crazy kid-version of myself would have ever dreamed of, but I still get to have horses be a huge part of it working as a Mental Performance Coach for Equestrian athletes and I’m grateful for every second of it. 

 

The Pre-Performance Advantage

By on Oct 5, 2022 1:00 pm -

How do riders prepare for the mental challenges of eventing? We aim to find out. Photo by Abby Powell.

When Tiger Woods steps up to the tee, he stands behind the ball holding his club, visualizes where he wants the shot to land, BEFORE taking the shot. Once he is in position, he looks at the ball and the target one more time, and executes the shot as he saw it in his head.

When Michael Jordan shot a free throw, he would take a shoulder width stance, spin the ball in his hands, bounce the ball three times, and then spin the ball once again while fixating the rim before he finally threw the ball.

These elite athletes, like many others, are engaging in a pre-performance routine, or a set of predetermined thoughts and actions that are used before performance challenges. When used effectively, pre-performance routines have been proven to give athletes a competitive advantage.

So what does an effective pre-performance routine look like to an equestrian athlete?

Well, as with all things mental, there is no “one size fits all” answer to this question. Pre-performance routines should help prime us to be physically and mentally ready for the challenge ahead of us. As eventers, I think we can all recognize that the mental activation required of dressage is not the same as that of cross country, but I’m curious as to how athletes change their preparation approach through each phase of competition.

Next week, I will have the opportunity to be amongst some of the most elite riders at one of the most high pressure competitions of the year — the Maryland 5 Star — and I will be interviewing athletes on what they think are the most important elements of their mental preparation that helps them get “in the zone” across the three phases of competition.

Be sure to tune in to updates on Eventing Nation, and let me know what questions you have about mental readiness and performance routines — you can email me your question or post it in the comments.

Psst! Tyler is holding a silent auction of some exciting equestrian items to raise money for cancer research and support. Please be sure to check it out and get your bids in before November 1st here.

Rider Responsibility and Effective Goal-Setting

By on Sep 28, 2022 9:00 am -

Tyler Held is a professional groom and Sport and Performance Psychology Consultant. You may have seen her over the last few years working for 5* rider Jennie Brannigan or listened to an episode of her podcast, The Whole Equestrian. Tyler started riding at summer camp at the age of 5 and essentially never looked back. She obtained her Undergraduate degrees in Animal Science and Equine Business Management from the University of Findlay in 2014. During this time, she spent her summers doing her first working student job at an eventing barn and quickly became obsessed with the sport. After experiencing some mental blocks in her own riding, she decided to focus on grooming and learning more about Sport Psychology. In 2017 she moved to Chester County, PA to work as a Vet Tech and groom for Dr. Kevin Keane, which opened a lot of doors in the eventing community. Just as she finished her Master’s Degree in Sport and Performance Psychology, she took the reins at Brannigan Eventing as head groom. Now partially retired from grooming, Tyler is focusing on finishing up her Doctorate and requirements to be a Certified Mental Performance Coach (CMPC).

Jennie Brannigan and FE Lifestyle. Photo by Abby Powell.

The summer after my freshman year of college was the first time that I was able to cross the finish flags of a recognized event, and to say I was hooked was an understatement. I had always been interested in the sport of Eventing, but competing didn’t become a reality until I was able to work through some serious training gaps in the OTTB my parents had bought me when I was 14 years old.

After a solid year of Dressage boot camp, “Fred” and I were able to have an awesome summer, bringing home ribbons at both the Beginner Novice and Novice level. Unfortunately, when I returned to school I received advice that would ultimately ruin my competition success in eventing. I was told that if I wanted to be anyone in this sport, that I would need to buy a nicer horse and I would need to set my sights on making it to Young Riders.

Mind you, I had maybe completed four Novice courses at this point. But my parents knew how much riding meant to me, so they agreed and bought me a horse that had a nice record at Prelim. I had two years to go from Novice to 2* and I laid out my goals accordingly. I knew it would be a stretch, but I’m a hard worker, so I thought that I could do it.

The problem was, I got so focused on the outcomes of the shows, that I stopped actually figuring out HOW to ride my horse.

We did OK at first, but as I moved up to Training, it was clear that there were gaps in my riding that were difficult to overcome when all I wanted to do was check the boxes of completing shows. I ended up falling off my new horse, Andy, at my first attempt at a Training Three-Day and I was absolutely devastated. Andy and I were fine and healthy (we actually ended up even running the one-day Training event over the same weekend) but my mindset and attitude went down in the dumps because my move-up plans were ruined.

For most riders, the pressure to move up the levels is not a foreign concept. The natural progression of riding and improving is the desire to challenge yourself at the next big thing. However, so often when we focus just on the move-up, qualifications and outcomes of events themselves we cause ourselves stress, disappointment and even performance breakdowns.

The environment and culture around the move-up can be toxic at best and dangerous at worst. When we don’t prepare ourselves properly for the skills required of the levels we are doing, accidents can and will happen.

So, how does this tie into Sport Psychology? In my practice, I do a lot of work to help riders set effective goals. Goals help us shape our focus, and focus helps us perform at our peak. The goal to move-up is of course a goal, however, it lacks the specificity and direction of HOW and WHAT needs to be completed to get there. HOW do you level up mentally, physically and technically from a Novice level rider to a Training level rider? WHAT are your strengths and weaknesses? WHAT skills do you need to learn about and master? HOW do you know if you are truly ready to move up a level?

Have big goals? What does your goal planning process look like? Photo by Shannon Brinkman Photography.

Chances are, your goals look something like this: 

  • July 30th- Novice at Jersey 
  • August 13th- Novice at Fair Hill 
  • September 3rd- Novice at Seneca (LAST ONE!!!) 
  • October 5th- MOVE UP TO TRAINING @ Morven!!!! 

Sure, you’ve got things you’re ‘working on’ in your lessons, and you’re probably practicing things that you need to practice, but do you get more specific about what gaps you need to fill to actually move up a level successfully? I’m not saying that you can’t set a goal that is outcome-based — in fact, this is part of the process. Winning a ribbon, getting a qualifying score, and going double clear are all great examples of outcome goals. Even as we keep these things in mind, we can’t stop there.

It is MORE important to focus on what are known as Process Goals. Process Goals focus on the action required of a given task; for example, making sure that you and your horse have the proper level of fitness, making sure that you’ve mastered the collective marks in your dressage test and understanding the technical approach to certain cross country questions that might appear at your level.

I find that a lot of equestrians shy away from specific goal-setting because they believe that they need to remain open to the ever changing needs of their horse. While I don’t deny that horsemanship requires adaptability, it doesn’t mean your goal setting should be thrown to the wayside. Do you set goals for yourself? Be honest: are you more focused on the outcomes of your work or the process?

Whether your goal is to go to the 5* level or make it to Training level, the process of making a goal into reality is the same. Photo by Shannon Brinkman Photography.

Even if you never want to leave the start box at an official event, I can’t stress the importance of setting effective goals. The process helps us to look forwards in a productive way but also allows us to be more self-aware and self-reflective.

The best news? This doesn’t even take that much time- so grab a pen and some paper and you’re one step closer to being a goal-oriented and responsible rider!

Here’s a quick example of what more effective goals might look like for moving up to Training level (want to try this out? Click here to download this worksheet as a PDF):

Goal Setting Worksheet

Main Goal: Move up to Training level this fall

Motivation for Goal:

  • Demonstrate the progress I have made in my training
  • Increase trust and relationship I have with my horse
  • To HAVE FUN!

Process Goals (what specific skills are you working on to make your main goal possible):

  • Improve my personal fitness and stamina by working out a minimum of 3 times a week for 30 minutes
  • Improve rhythm and relaxation in dressage through working with a new dressage trainer 2x a week
  • Increase adjustability of canter and improve understanding of appropriate balance to have for different jumping questions- take videos and review what feels and looks the best
  • Increase my horse’s fitness routine- work with my trainer to come up with an appropriate balance of fitness/jumping/dressage and hack/recovery days
  • Work on confidence/mindset- begin a confidence journal based on the technical skills I am working to master and track progress.

You can even take this one step further and identify different obstacles and behaviors that might facilitate or inhibit your performance, with a readiness plan like this one:

Readiness Plan:

Preparation: Technical, strategic, physical & psychological readiness for training and competition
Goal: Build confidence through competence and practice. Make sure that I am getting ample time to practice Dressage, Show Jumping and Cross Country and am feeling good about all of the skills required of the level.
Obstacle: Finding the time to balance practice of the three phases with my horses fitness work and other life distractions
Behavior: Plan my weeks ahead of time, being realistic about time commitments that I can make. Start a confidence journal where I track the progress of my training

Resilience and coping with adversity: Positive coping with performance challenges, setbacks, and errors
Goal: Find a process to help calm my mind/emotions during show jumping when I’m struggling to see a distance
Obstacle: My tendency to get frustrated and emotional as things go wrong
Behavior: Practice thought stopping and keep a self-talk log

Focus: Concentration on the most important parts of the task at hand and being able to shift attention when needed and letting go of distractions
Goal: Quiet my mind to distractions in the show ring
Obstacle: Tendency to be an overthinker
Behavior: Add in a mindfulness routine out of the saddle to strengthen the mental muscle of focus

With a robust plan like this one, you can make the move up without the harsh discovery of those gaps in your preparation.

A Different Answer to Performance Problems with Tyler Held

By on Jul 20, 2022 9:40 am -

Joining EN as a regular columnist, Tyler Held is a professional groom and Sport and Performance Psychology Consultant. You may have seen her over the last few years working for 5* rider Jennie Brannigan or listened to an episode of her podcast, The Whole Equestrian. Tyler started riding in summer camp at the age of 5 and essentially never looked back. She obtained her Undergraduate degrees in Animal Science and Equine Business Management from the University of Findlay in 2014. During this time, she spent her summers doing her first working student job at an eventing barn and quickly became obsessed with the sport. After experiencing some mental blocks in her own riding, she decided to focus on grooming and learning more about Sport Psychology. In 2017 she moved to Chester County, PA to work as a Vet Tech and groom for Dr. Kevin Keane, which opened a lot of doors in the eventing community. Just as she finished her Master’s Degree in Sport and Performance Psychology, she took the reins at Brannigan Eventing as head groom. Now partially retired from grooming, Tyler is focusing on finishing up her Doctorate and requirements to be a Certified Mental Performance Coach (CMPC).

Tyler Held, head groom for Jennie Brannigan, shares a moment with FE Lifestyle. Photo by Tilly Berendt.

Imagine you’re tacking up your horse up for competition. You go to tighten the girth and you start to notice that your hands are shaking. Your heartbeat gets louder and you start to find it difficult to breathe. You try to go through your cross country course but you find that your mind is filled with doubt. Thoughts like “I’m not good enough”, “that fence looks really big”, “I’ve fallen off at something similar to that before” or “don’t screw up” demand your attention.

You get on and try to tell yourself to breathe, but it’s too late — fear, panic, and uncertainty have sealed your fate for the day, and the results are far from desirable.

Now imagine you get to do it all over again. You have the same fears and doubts and yet you’ve learned to question, master, and control them. You’ve spent time practicing how to redirect negative thoughts, and you come into an event feeling confident and prepared. You still feel the butterflies in your stomach as you go to tighten your girth, but when you visualize your course you think to yourself “I’ve got this.” You are cool, calm and collected and while this doesn’t necessarily mean that everything is going to go according to plan, you are much better equipped to deal with things that do go wrong.

The difference between the former and the latter comes down to a choice. How are you going to master your mindset as you ride and compete?

When I personally competed in eventing, I made a lot of errors with my mindset and struggled with debilitating competition anxiety. My own journey in riding led me to the field of Sport and Performance Psychology, first by working with a SPP practitioner to help me get through some mental blocks and now as a practitioner myself so that I can help provide others with the same support.

Photo courtesy of Tyler Held.

I’ve held various jobs in the eventing industry, from working student, to barn manager, to groom and even vet tech, getting to experience the sport as a rider and as a groom, from unrecognized Starter Trials to international 5* competitions. Regardless of the level, however, it seemed everywhere I turned, someone was under mental pressure and stress.

At the Starter Trials, I saw weekend warriors worried they hadn’t had enough time to prepare, as they’ve managed their professional lives, families and horses. When I got to travel overseas with the U.S. Equestrian Team, I got to see and understand what it is like to have a team that is counting on you and see the difference between wanting to do well and having to do well. Even as a groom, I was presented with many mental challenges and obstacles to overcome.

Throughout my journey, one thing has become abundantly clear to me: this sport isn’t easy and mindset plays a large role in an equestrian’s ability to find enjoyment and to perform at their best, regardless of their age, experience or skill level.

Now that I’m semi-retired from grooming, I am putting most of my energy into the completion of my Doctorate (8 credits and 6 months to go!) and am excited to share what I have learned with athletes across the country.

Thanks to the bravery and vulnerability of athletes at high levels, the narrative around mental health is beginning to shift and we are seeing more of a need and acceptance for mental skills training. That being said, it is a common misconception that sport psychology is reserved for “problem athletes”. My work is just as relevant to someone who hopes to optimize and enjoy their performance as someone who hopes to ‘fix’ a problem. Surely most who compete in sports are hoping to win, however when our sights are set on only an outcome, we lose so much of what we can stand to gain from participating in sports.

As I build my practice in Sport and Performance Psychology, I am realistically aware of the sacrifices made by athletes who are at the top 1% of their sport. To these athletes, things like balance and health are sometimes elusive. However, I feel these issues often get skipped over by equestrians of all levels.

When our horse isn’t quite right, we tend to look at the problem from every avenue possible; perhaps we need to have the saddle fitter out, make an adjustment in shoeing, scope for ulcers or get some body work done. However, when riders deal with setbacks there is a greater tendency to “grit your teeth” and “push through it”.

Through this column, I hope to inspire a different answer to these performance problems. The fact of the matter is, equestrian sports have so many variables that we can’t control. As I take the time to discuss topics such as mental toughness, resilience, emotional regulation, and confidence, I encourage you to start to shift your mindset to the variables that you can control and find enjoyment and success along the way.

Some topics to look forward to in the future include:

  • Work/life/horse balance
  • How to look set effective goals (and why you shouldn’t just be focused on winning ribbons)
  • Mental health
  • The dangers of social comparison

You can find more information about me at www.thewholeequestrian.com or find me on Instagram @onthevergebjj or @thewholeequestrian.

Have a topic or a question you’d like answered in a future column? Leave it in the comments or drop me a DM on social media.