Tyler Held
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Tyler Held

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Become an Eventing Nation Blogger

About Tyler Held

Dr. Tyler Held EdD CMPC is a professional groom and Certified Mental Performance Consultant. You may have seen her over the last few years working for International 5* Jennie Brannigan or listened to an episode of her podcast, The Whole Equestrian. Tyler started riding in summer camp at the age of 5 and essentially never looked back. She obtained her Undergraduate degrees in Animal Science and Equine Business Management from the University of Findlay in 2014. During this time, she spent her summers doing her first working student job at an eventing barn and quickly became obsessed with the sport. After experiencing some mental blocks in her own riding, she decided to focus more on grooming and learning more about Sport Psychology. In 2017 she moved to Chester County, PA to work as a Vet Tech and groom for Dr. Kevin Keane, which opened a lot of doors in the eventing community. Just as she finished her Master’s Degree in Sport and Performance Psychology, she took the reins at Brannigan Eventing as head groom. Now partially retired from grooming, Tyler is focusing on growing her consulting business, Thought Quest Mental Performance Solutions, and helping Equestrian athletes navigate the mental challenges that come with the sport.

Latest Articles Written

Between the Ears with Cole Horn

In today’s world, it often feels like we’re viewing each other’s lives through the filter of a highlight reel. We see the perfect trips, the flawless jumps, and the moments polished enough for social media. What we rarely talk about is the pressure this creates for athletes on both sides of the screen.

Riders—whether professional or amateur—can feel an unspoken obligation to post content that makes them look successful and impressive. Meanwhile, as we scroll through these posts, it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking the sport is all smooth sailing. This distorted perception can leave riders feeling like if they’re not succeeding all the time, they may not be cut out for the sport.

With Between the Ears, I want to peel back that facade and dive into the real, often unspoken challenges riders face in the eventing world. Through these conversations, we’ll explore what it truly means to navigate the ups and downs of the sport.

In this edition, I caught up with 26-year-old event rider, Cole Horn. Cole owns his own business, Will-O-Moor Sporthorses, and focuses on sales, training, and competition. He campaigned his young horse Cooley Permission to Land to the FEI WBFSH Eventing World Breeding Championships in Mondial du Lion in 2021 and won the CCI3*-S at Stable View on the same mount this fall.

Having gone through some serious setbacks, Cole provides valuable insights into the life of a young professional in the industry, so with that, let’s go between the ears…

[To read more Between the Ears interviews, click here]

Cole Horn and MBF Cooley Permission To Land. Photo by Tilly Berendt.

Can you tell me a little bit about how you got your start in eventing?

My family has a deep connection to horses, specifically in eventing. My great-grandfather and his father were both heavily involved with the U.S. eventing team back in the 1950s and 60s. My great-grandfather was a bit of a “horse fixer” and a talent scout for the team, so it was always in the family. There was a subtle encouragement that, if I liked horses, this could be a real career path for me.

I started riding young—riding lesson ponies and horses before getting my first pony at 11. We competed through the novice and training levels before I moved up to horses. At 16, I left school with a GED and began working full-time in the industry. I worked for Ryan Wood for over three years, which really launched my career.

My first upper-level horse was a challenge, to say the least. He was brilliant at jumping but a nightmare in dressage. I learned to accept failure repeatedly, which taught me resilience. Those experiences shaped my ability to stay calm under pressure and find ways to thrive in challenging situations.

Can you tell me about a time that you lost your confidence in riding or competing? How did you overcome it?

Cole Horn steps up for team USA at Le Lion with MBF Cooley Permission To Land. Photo by Tilly Berendt.

The biggest hit to my confidence was when I broke my leg last year—it was a catastrophic injury. My tibia was shattered into 12 pieces, and I had to have a rod inserted through my kneecap to reconstruct it. It wasn’t just the physical pain; the mental hurdles were even harder.

Coming back from that injury, I had to face fears I thought I’d left behind. Getting back on young horses was nerve-wracking, as was galloping and jumping again. I had to consciously work on not letting my fear define me.

I reminded myself that fear is natural, but it doesn’t have to be permanent. I focused on small wins—getting on horses that I trusted and doing flat schools. Over time, those small victories added up. I also leaned on the belief that my body would tell me when it was ready, and I respected that.

Even still, the first time I was back at a competition, I was on the cross country course at Pine Top and I realized that I didn’t want to go as fast as I used to. That was an awakening because I’ve never been that type of rider before, but I realized that it came down to risk. There was more risk to reinjuring myself at competition than there was riding at home- even more so when I thought about trying to make time. Each time the risk factor increases, so do the fears and the mental skills to remind me of what I need to focus on. Even today, I have to remind myself to not get greedy in terms of pushing boundaries on my physical health and find balance in the ways that I am training my horses.

Have you ever experienced burnout? Why? What tools did you use to get through it?

Cole Horn and Cooley Sligo. Photo by Leslie Threlkeld.

Burnout happens to almost everyone in this sport because it’s so physically and emotionally demanding. For me, it’s often tied to overextending myself. There’s always another horse to ride, another event to prepare for, and it’s easy to lose sight of balance.

What helps me most is staying connected to what originally drew me to horses: the process of training and developing them. Working with young horses is incredibly rewarding for me. It’s a pure, honest process. They don’t come with preconceived notions, so when you get it right, you see immediate, authentic progress.

I also make time to step away occasionally. Whether it’s taking a day off or just finding quiet moments at the barn, I’ve learned that mental rest is just as important as physical recovery.

What was one of the biggest obstacles you had to overcome in the sport, and how did you overcome it?

Cole Horn and MBF Cooley Permission To Land climb 13 places with their solid clear. Photo by Tilly Berendt.

Breaking my leg was undoubtedly the hardest. In the beginning stages of my injury, I was in a wheelchair and I couldn’t drive or take care of myself. I was so grateful to have my girlfriend, Lily Barlow who stepped in to support me physically and emotionally through that time.

However, as a young event rider, it wasn’t just the injury but the financial and logistical impact it had on my business I struggled with. As the primary rider, being sidelined meant relying on others to keep things running. I was incredibly lucky to have supportive clients and owners who stuck by me. I also found ways to make it a positive experience for the people around me. For instance, my assistant got to compete with some of the horses, which was a valuable opportunity for her growth.

What got me through was refusing to let the injury define me. I adopted a mantra: “Never fall back, fall forward.” It reminded me to use setbacks as springboards. I focused on rebuilding, both physically and professionally, and trusted the process.

What advice do you have for someone in the sport who is currently facing adversity?

Cole Horn and MBF Cooley Permission To Land finish in 31st on their international debut. Photo by Tilly Berendt.

Adversity is inevitable, but it doesn’t have to derail you. My advice is to find the silver lining, no matter how small it seems. If you can reframe a setback as an opportunity to learn or grow, it won’t feel as heavy.

For young professionals, the key is to surround yourself with good people—owners, clients, and mentors who believe in you. Their support can make all the difference. Also, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Whether it’s financial, emotional, or logistical, leaning on others doesn’t make you weak; it makes you resourceful.

Most importantly, don’t give up. The only way to truly fail is to quit. This sport is as much about mental toughness as it is about physical ability. Stay committed to your goals, even if the path to achieving them looks different than you planned.

Cole’s story is a testament to the resilience and determination required to succeed in eventing. His journey—from riding lesson ponies to running his own business—proves that setbacks are just stepping stones on the path to success. His advice to “never fall back, fall forward” is a powerful reminder that adversity can be the catalyst for growth.

Between the Ears with Meghan O’Donoghue

In today’s world, it often feels like we’re viewing each other’s lives through the filter of a highlight reel. We see the perfect trips, the flawless jumps, and the moments polished enough for social media. What we rarely talk about is the pressure this creates for athletes on both sides of the screen.

Riders—whether professional or amateur—can feel an unspoken obligation to post content that makes them look successful and impressive. Meanwhile, as we scroll through these posts, it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking the sport is all smooth sailing. This distorted perception can leave riders feeling like if they’re not succeeding all the time, they may not be cut out for the sport.
With Between the Ears, I want to peel back that facade and dive into the real, often unspoken challenges riders face in the eventing world. Through these conversations, we’ll explore what it truly means to navigate the ups and downs of the sport.

In this edition of Between the Ears, I had the pleasure of catching up with Meghan O’Donoghue, an international 5* event rider known for her journey with two remarkable off-the-track Thoroughbreds (OTTBs), Pirate and Palmer. Meghan’s business, Meghan O’Donoghue Eventing, is based in Round Hill, VA during the warmer months and Ocala, FL in the winter. Before launching her own venture, she worked for two accomplished riders who have represented the US Team at major competitions, Jan Byyny and Will Coleman, gaining invaluable experience. Meghan’s career has taken her around the world, including being named as a traveling alternate for the 2014 World Equestrian Games in France. Her story is one of resilience and dedication as she navigates the challenges of ‘making it’ with OTTBs in the competitive equestrian world.

With that, let’s go between the ears…

[To read more Between the Ears interviews, click here]

Meghan O’Donoghue and Palm Crescent. Photo by Tilly Berendt.

Can you tell me about how you got your start in eventing?

I was born into a “horsey” family—both my parents are deeply involved in eventing. They own and run an eventing business in Carbondale, Illinois, where they’ve been sharing their love for horses and introducing people to riding. Growing up with this exposure, my sister and I had an incredible opportunity to immerse ourselves in the equestrian world from an early age. It was more than just a hobby; it became a lifestyle supported by my parents, who encouraged us every step of the way.

My journey started at our family facility, but I knew I had to branch out and grow independently to pursue a professional career. That led me eastward, where I had the privilege of working for Jan Byyny and later with Will Coleman. Those years were like my “horse university.” Working under such respected professionals opened doors for me and led to some significant milestones, including my first five-star event. From there, it was a natural progression to start my own business, and that’s what I’m doing today. Each experience has built on the last, leading me to where I am now in my career.

Can you tell me about a time that you lost your confidence for riding or competing? How did you overcome it?

Interestingly, confidence is a journey. When I was younger, I went through a phase where I felt uncertain about my future in horses. I’d see my parents working tirelessly to sustain a business in such a demanding industry, and it made me wonder if I could or should follow that path. There was a moment in high school where I even considered different career options. I did a couple of years at community college, trying to explore other paths, but nothing resonated with me the way horses did. I quickly realized that the challenges and uncertainties were worth it because my passion for horses ran too deep.

During times of self-doubt, I’ve leaned heavily on my support system—my family and close friends. They’ve always believed in me, even when I questioned myself. Remembering why I fell in love with horses in the first place and focusing on that passion helped me regain my confidence. When my confidence wavers now, I try to remember that this journey is about the love of the horse first and foremost.

Meghan O’Donoghue and Pirate. Photo by Jenni Autry.

Have you ever experienced burnout? Why? What tools did you use to get through it?

Absolutely. Burnout is almost inevitable in a sport as intense and demanding as eventing. Working in someone else’s program for extended periods, there were definitely days that felt repetitive or exhausting. The physical demands, the ups and downs of competition, and the long hours took a toll, and I realized that I needed to balance my drive with moments of rest and enjoyment.

One pivotal time for me was when I started team roping on the side, which gave me a completely different way to experience horses. It wasn’t about the pressure to compete at the highest level; it was a social, relaxed environment, and that outlet really helped me reconnect with the joy of just being around horses without any expectations. I discovered that it’s possible to love horses in a lighter, less intense way, and that helped me avoid burnout in eventing. Now, if I ever feel burnt out, I remind myself that I can always find ways to enjoy horses beyond the competition arena.

What was one of the biggest obstacles you had to overcome in the sport?

One of the biggest challenges has been competing with limited resources. I don’t come from a wealthy family, so I’ve had to make the most of every opportunity and every horse. For instance, my first five-star horse, Pirate, was a very inexpensive Thoroughbred. He wasn’t the fanciest horse out there, but he gave me my start at the highest levels of the sport. I had to rely on hard work, grit, and a lot of support from my family and mentors to get there.

It can also be a lot of pressure to have just one horse you are campaigning at the top. It can feel very selfish and all consuming. This spring, I went to Badminton with Palmer and ended up falling off on XC. It’s moments like those that make you wish you had another horse to go to the next event with and keep cracking on.

Overcoming this obstacle taught me resilience and appreciation for every step of the journey. I’ve learned to make the most out of what I have, and I’m grateful for every opportunity that comes my way. Having fewer resources might seem like a disadvantage, but it’s also been a driving force in my career. I’ve had to be resourceful, strategic, and committed—and that’s made me a better rider and a stronger person.

What advice do you have for someone in the sport who is currently facing adversity?

Meghan O’Donoghue and Palm Crescent. Photo by Shelby Allen.

One of the best pieces of advice I can give is to lean on the community around you. The eventing community is full of supportive, knowledgeable people who have likely faced similar struggles. Don’t be afraid to reach out, share your challenges, and ask for advice. Often, you’ll find someone who’s been through something similar and can offer you a new perspective or some encouragement to keep going.

Also, remember that setbacks are part of the journey. Whether it’s a financial obstacle, an injury, or a horse that’s out of commission, these hurdles can feel overwhelming. But try to focus on what you have rather than what you lack. Remind yourself of the people who support you, the horses you have, and the goals you’re working toward. In adversity, sometimes it’s about keeping your focus on the things you can control and taking each day one step at a time.

Are there any routines or rituals you do at horse shows?

Yes, I definitely have a few rituals. Before each show, I like to take a quiet moment to visualize the course and see myself riding it confidently. It’s a grounding exercise that helps calm my nerves and puts me in the right mindset for the day. I also find it helpful to set small goals for myself—things I want to achieve with each ride, separate from the results.

After each ride, I make a point to thank my horse. No matter the outcome, I try to recognize the effort my horse has put in. These moments of gratitude are essential for me. They remind me that, win or lose, I’m fortunate to be able to do what I love with incredible animals by my side. Another thing I do is focus on my support team. My family, my fiancé, and the team of girls in the barn are always there for me, and they’re part of every success. I keep them close, both physically and mentally, as a reminder that I’m never alone in the journey.

Competing in eventing has been a journey filled with challenges, doubts, and incredible triumphs. For anyone out there facing their own struggles in the sport, know that you’re not alone. Keep your passion for the horses close, lean on the community around you, and remember to celebrate the small victories along the way. That’s what keeps the dream alive.

Between the Ears: Matt Brown On Getting Creative, Confidence, the Power of Martial Arts, and Mental Health

In today’s world, it often feels like we’re viewing each other’s lives through the filter of a highlight reel. We see the perfect trips, the flawless jumps, and the moments polished enough for social media. What we rarely talk about is the pressure this creates for athletes on both sides of the screen.

Riders — whether professional or amateur — can feel an unspoken obligation to post content that makes them look successful and impressive. Meanwhile, as we scroll through these posts, it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking the sport is all smooth sailing. This distorted perception can leave riders feeling like if they’re not succeeding all the time, they may not be cut out for the sport.

With “Between the Ears”, I want to peel back that facade and dive into the real, often unspoken challenges riders face in the eventing world. Through these conversations, we’ll explore what it truly means to navigate the ups and downs of the sport.

In this edition of Between the Ears, I got to catch up with 5* event rider Matt Brown. Matt owns and operates his business, East West Training Stables with his wife, FEI dressage rider, Cecily Clark. Despite West Coast roots, and a love for the lifestyle in California, Matt and Cecily moved to Area 2 in 2015 to continue to pursue Olympic dreams. Matt has had the honor of representing the US at several Nations Cup competitions and was also the reserve rider for the Rio Olympics. With top finishes at several FEIs to add to his list of accomplishments, Matt is no stranger to the top level of the sport, yet despite these results, he has not escaped the uncertainty and mental stress that accompany reaching a high level of success. One way that Matt has stayed grounded through his journey is a lifelong connection to martial arts. As a martial artist myself, I’m a big fan of Matt’s philosophies- both in and outside of the saddle.

So, with that, let’s go between the ears…

[To read more Between the Ears interviews, click here]

Matt Brown and Alderwood. Photo by Sally Spickard.

Can you share how you got your start in eventing and how you got to where you are today?

My parents joke that “horse” was my first word, but I think I started taking lessons when I was about 7 years old. When I was 10 or 11, I got my first real coach, Andrea Pfeiffer in California, who was fresh off of her British Horse Society Certificates. At the time, I didn’t know much about eventing—I just loved being around horses and riding.

My first horse was a free, 30-year-old thoroughbred mare named Bullet, and after her, I had a couple of Appaloosas, including one who was a Thoroughbred-Appaloosa cross named Max. He was amazing, and I went advanced on him when I was around 18, even though looking back at those videos now, I can’t believe I did that. He was an amazing horse.

After that, I became a working student for Denny Emerson, but it wasn’t easy. I had to sell Max to finance the trip, and when I arrived, I didn’t have a horse of my own, so I just rode whatever horses were available. That whole experience left me feeling pretty disillusioned, especially when Denny bluntly told me that I wouldn’t make it in the sport because my family didn’t have money. It hit me hard. I grew up riding with Gina Miles who had already been to the Olympics at that time, so getting home and not having a horse made me question the reality of my future. So I quit and got a job at a machine shop for a year- but I hated it. I hated working inside, I hated having a boss, and I realized that wasn’t going to be my path.

I had to get creative for a while, working at a restaurant in the evenings and riding as many horses as I could. At that point, I didn’t have the drive to try to compete at the upper levels. I just knew that I loved horses and I wanted to ride. It was Cecily, who is now my wife, who encouraged me to put myself out there again and start chasing my goals at the upper levels.

I also met a woman named Valerie Fish, and she was the first person I ever told about my dream of going to the Olympics. I was shocked when her response was, “Well, why don’t we do that?” She and her husband, Bob, ended up helping me in ways I never expected. They believed in me and wanted to invest in me—not because they wanted to own a winning horse but because they thought the journey would be fun. Their support made all the difference.

What are some of the biggest obstacles that you’ve faced in your career?

Matthew Brown and Super Socks BCF. Photo by Leslie Threlkeld.

Honestly, the first real obstacle was being told by someone I looked up to that I wasn’t going to make it because of my family’s lack of money. It took me a year to come to terms with that and realize that I loved the sport enough to keep going despite the challenges.

The second obstacle was rebuilding my life and business on the East Coast after moving from California. We uprooted everything to be part of the selection trials, and while we were away, the property we were leasing in California was sold. So, we had to decide whether to stay on the East Coast and reestablish our business or return home and start over. We decided to stay, and thanks to Bob and Valerie’s support, we were able to establish a business in Pennsylvania and start fresh. But that process was incredibly stressful. We loved living in California, but the cost and lack of land for turnout was a reality we had to face. Looking back, I can’t picture a way that we could have made our lives work on the West Coast, which is hard since we consider it home.

I was so lucky to connect with Bob and Valerie. I’m not good at talking myself up or asking for help, and I don’t think I would have made it back to the top of the sport or had the opportunities that I’ve had without them.

Was there ever a time when you lost confidence in your abilities or your place in the sport?

Matt Brown and Alderwood. Photo by Sally Spickard.

I’m the kind of person who is usually pretty confident in myself when it comes to riding and training. However, I have always had a little bit of a confidence issue when it comes to competing at the top levels of the sport. I always felt like I needed to do more to be better. Even when I was an alternate for the Rio Olympics, I felt like I wasn’t good enough. You’d think being an alternate would feel like a huge accomplishment, but for me, it felt like I was close but not good enough. Bob and Valerie were ecstatic; meanwhile, I went into a bit of a mental spiral feeling like I didn’t achieve my goal.

My horse was dealing with soundness issues at the time, and I didn’t see a clear path forward. I started to experience some depression and anxiety, and I ended up seeing a psychiatrist to help me manage it all. That was a tough realization—the stress of moving, chasing a goal, not quite hitting it, and being completely dependent on other people throughout the process made me experience emotions I had never felt before. But I worked through it, and now that my life is more stable, I feel much more confident.

It’s important to talk about mental health, especially in a sport like eventing where there’s so much pressure and unpredictability. Speaking of mental health, I know you have a background in martial arts as well. How has that played a role in your journey?

Matt Brown and Super Socks BCF. Photo by Shannon Brinkman.

Martial arts has been a huge help for me, especially in dealing with frustration and anger. I didn’t realize it then, but part of what martial arts did for me was give me a healthy way to process emotions. As I later learned from my psychiatrist, anger can be a symptom of depression, and I was using martial arts as an outlet before I even understood what was going on emotionally.

It also gave me perspective. The martial arts world isn’t as all-consuming as the equestrian world can be. Being around people outside of the horse industry helped ground me, and the philosophy of martial arts—focused on self-improvement rather than competition—was a refreshing change.

What advice would you give to someone in the sport who is facing adversity, whether it’s financial challenges, losing a horse, or even recovering from an injury?

Matt Brown and Super Socks BCF. Photo by Shannon Brinkman.

I’d say the biggest thing is to remember why you started in the first place. For me, no matter how tough things got, I always came back to the fact that I loved horses. If you can find that love and passion for what you’re doing, it’ll carry you through the tough times. Separate who you are from your performance and outcomes. If all the competitions went away, I know I’d be happy to do what I am doing on a day-to-day basis.

Also, don’t be afraid to ask for help—whether that’s financial support, emotional support, or even just advice from people who’ve been there. None of us can do this alone. I would never tell someone that they can’t make it in this sport, knowing how detrimental that advice was to me, but I would always be realistic about the sacrifices that you will have to make along the way.

Between the Ears: Maxine Preston on Confidence, Loss, and Tackling Burnout

It seems like these days we look at each other’s lives through the lens of a highlight reel. We get to see the incredible trips, the best jumps, and the moments that we’re proud enough of to put on social media. What we don’t talk about is how much pressure this adds to athletes on both ends of the news feed.

Riders, whether professional or not, are made to feel like they ‘have to’ post something that makes them look cool and successful. Then, as we consume this content, we are stuck with the disillusioned perception that the sport is easy and that if you’re not succeeding, then maybe you aren’t cut out for it. I would like to take this opportunity to go ‘between the ears’ of some of the riders that make up our Eventing Nation and work to understand some of the real challenges this industry presents.

On this edition of Between the Ears, I had the pleasure of catching up with CCI3* rider Maxine Preston. Maxine is an accomplished equestrian who has built a reputation for her dedication and love for the sport. Her operation, Maxine Preston Eventing, is based in Ocala, Florida, during the winter months and moves to Lexington, Kentucky, for the summer season. During the last decade, she has had the opportunity to ride with multiple professionals and has gathered invaluable insights into the sport. Her journey hasn’t been without hardship, but through these challenges, she’s gained invaluable lessons that have shaped her into the rider she is today.

So, with that, let’s go between the ears…

Photo by JJ Sillman.

Can you tell me a little bit about how you got your start in eventing?
My journey in eventing began when I was just ten years old at a farm in Ann Arbor, Michigan. I fell in love with the sport immediately. My first experience watching the Kentucky event, which was called Rolex back then, was in 2007 or 2008, and it solidified my passion for eventing. I knew that it was what I had to do.

I rode in Michigan until I was 16, and then I moved to North Carolina to become a working student for Holly Hudspeth, who became an incredible mentor. After spending 18 months there, I went back to Michigan to finish high school and then attended the University of Kentucky. During my time there, I joined the eventing team with Emily Hamel, who became a longtime friend, coach, and colleague.
After college, where I majored in art history, I knew I wanted to pursue horses professionally. So, I started Maxine Preston Eventing and moved to Florida to ride with Kyle Carter, who I’ve been with for eight years now. Throughout these years, I’ve had the opportunity to develop multiple horses to the three-star level. The journey has been challenging but incredibly rewarding.

Can you tell me about a time that you lost your confidence in riding or competing? How did you overcome it?

Wow, which time? I’ve definitely had my share of confidence challenges. One that stands out is with a horse named Shannondale Magnum, whom I produced from a young age to the three-star level. He was an amazing competitor but quirky at home, spooking at birds and gravel. Despite these quirks, he would always show up and do his job in the competition ring.

However, once we got to the three-star level, things started to fall apart. He began to stop at fences, and it really wrecked my confidence. It was hard because I didn’t understand why it was happening. He had been my first really big horse to produce, and I had all these dreams and ambitions. Suddenly, it was falling apart, and I didn’t know why. Looking back, I know my inexperience at the time produced the holes, and I learned a lot from the experience, but it was difficult to focus on being OK with those mistakes at a time when I just wanted to be competitive.

Luckily, other horses came into my life at that point, allowing me to regain my confidence by producing them up through the levels. Luck has a lot to do with this sport, and without those other opportunities, I’m not sure I would have found my confidence. It was important to realize that it wasn’t entirely my fault; it was a learning experience. Maturity has helped me understand that setbacks are a part of the process and that gaining confidence comes with experience. It’s great to want to progress and be on lists when you’re young, but the holes come up for everyone, and they need to be addressed.

Photo by JJ Sillman.

What was one of the biggest obstacles you had to overcome in the sport, and how did you navigate it?

One of the biggest obstacles I’ve faced was the loss of my partner, Fernhill HC Highrise, to a lightning strike last year. It was devastating, and the storm that took his life hadn’t even been on the weather forecast for that night. He was a difficult horse to produce, and we spent a lot of time and money figuring him out. He had just done his first 3*L and won his last Prelim when we lost him so suddenly. The grief was immense, not just for losing a partner and a potential upper-level horse, but for the emotional toll it took on me. There are obviously plenty of bad things that can happen to horses, and I accept that as part of the sport, but I got stuck in a mental battle with myself about whether there was anything I could have done to save him.

The hardest part was accepting that he was gone and forgiving myself for not bringing him in that day, even though the storm came out of nowhere. Working through this grief has been a different kind of challenge in terms of moving forward with my operation. I was, and still am, hypersensitive about storms and the weather, but I’ve found that I have to find a balance between the need to protect the horses and not letting anxiety take over every time it’s raining. Bad things can happen to horses that get locked in their stalls just as much as they can out in the paddock. They can get cast, or colic due to the change in their schedule, or be more unpredictable in the saddle the next day. Anxiety is fueled by planning for things that might happen, and unfortunately, with horses, we can’t prevent all those things.

Have you ever experienced burnout? Why? What tools did you use to get through it?

Burnout is something I think most riders face at some point. For me, I know I am facing burnout when I feel a lack of enthusiasm for the everyday aspects of the job, like bringing in horses or cleaning stalls, which I usually love doing. Riding starts to feel like just another task rather than something I’m passionate about. Another trigger is feeling trapped on the farm or trapped in the routine of keeping the wheels spinning. With the growth in my career, I’ve learned to prioritize the horses during these times of burnout so they get what they need, but as a result, I’ve found that it can create suffering both for myself and the people around me.

The key for me has been to get away, even if it’s just for a couple of hours or days. It’s about realizing that the barn can function without me and that it’s okay to take a break. Changing up my routine, like going for a hike or taking time to go grocery shopping, helps me breathe and feel re-energized. It’s crucial to break the cycle of repetitiveness so that the daily operations stay fun.

Photo by JJ Sillman.

What advice do you have for someone in the sport who is currently facing adversity?

My advice is to understand that adversity is part of the journey. Whether it’s a loss of confidence, burnout, or grief, these experiences are inevitable, and they shape us as riders and individuals. It’s important to give yourself grace and realize that these setbacks don’t define you or your abilities.

Surround yourself with a supportive community and take breaks when you need to. We are so dependent on so many uncontrollable factors in our sport, so we need to make sure we have people who can consistently be there for us and push us in the right ways. Your team isn’t just made up of owners; it’s your coach, your friends, your students, and even people outside of the sport.

Eventing is an amazing sport, and there are so many people trying to do good things in it. As a community, I feel like we need to give more good to each other, especially when we’re not at our highest highs or our lowest lows.

To read more Between the Ears interviews, click here.

Between the Ears with Julia Krajewski

In today’s world, it often feels like we’re viewing each other’s lives through the filter of a highlight reel. We see the perfect trips, the flawless jumps, and the moments polished enough for social media. What we rarely talk about is the pressure this creates for athletes on both sides of the screen.

Riders — whether professional or amateur — can feel an unspoken obligation to post content that makes them look successful and impressive. Meanwhile, as we scroll through these posts, it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking the sport is all smooth sailing. This distorted perception can leave riders feeling like if they’re not succeeding all the time, they may not be cut out for the sport.

With Between the Ears, I want to peel back that facade and dive into the real, often unspoken challenges riders face in the eventing world. Through these conversations, we’ll explore what it truly means to navigate the ups and downs of the sport.

In this edition, I had the pleasure of catching up with Olympic gold medalist Julia Krajewski. Julia made history as the first female equestrian to win an individual gold medal at the Olympics, but her achievements don’t stop there. At 35 years old, she’s currently ranked 12th in the FEI Eventing World Athlete Rankings, delivering outstanding results both individually and while representing Germany on the world stage, including at the 2024 Olympics in Paris, where she was 11th individually with Nickel 21.

However, as we know, the spotlight only tells part of the story. Despite her incredible accomplishments, Julia has also faced her share of challenges. Her journey offers valuable lessons in resilience and finding balance amidst challenges.

So, with that, let’s go between the ears…

[To read more Between the Ears interviews, click here]

Julia Krajewski and Amande de b’Neville. Photo by Tilly Berendt.

Can you tell me a little bit about how you got your start in eventing?

I come from a non-horsey family—both of my parents were geophysicists. However, when I was about 5 years old, my dad’s job required us to move, and they ended up buying an old pig farm. My mom had always had a casual interest in horses, even though she didn’t have much exposure to them growing up. She decided it would be nice to have horses around, so we transformed the farm into a small riding school.

One of the first yards I trained at focused primarily on dressage, so we bought a pony for me to compete in that discipline. However, it turned out that the pony wasn’t too keen on it, so we started exploring eventing instead—and that’s when everything clicked. I was probably 9 or 10 when I took that pony, who was 4 and still quite wild, to a scouting day. The coach saw something in us and invited us to regional training, which ultimately led to competing in—and winning—the European Pony Championships. That was a huge turning point for me; it sparked a passion in me that has never faded.

Looking back, especially coming from a non-horsey family, the ponies were essential for my development. They allowed me to learn the entire process of riding and training on my own, without needing an adult’s help.

Have you ever experienced burnout or moments where you lost your motivation?

Julia Krajewski: Your New Eventing Individual Gold Medalist! Photo by Shannon Brinkman Photography.

Oh, absolutely. I wouldn’t say I ever lost confidence in my ability, but there have been plenty of times when I felt completely drained. Especially during those tough winter months—cold, rain, mud—it can be miserable. There were days when I thought, I really don’t want to do this anymore. At some point, I got a bit used to it and knew it would get better when the days got warmer and brighter.

As I grew older, the financial reality of what I do also became a factor. I rely on sponsors and owners to run my operation, and if you’re not delivering results, that can quickly spiral into more stress. When you’re facing setbacks like an injured horse or a string of bad performances, you start asking yourself, Why am I even doing this? Having success often really helps, but I’ve learned that I can’t rely on that and I have to control my mindset. At the beginning of my career, not having success would make me doubt a lot of things, so I’ve had to learn to shift my perspective.

Something that I always come back to is the fact that I just love horses- being with them and training them. And no matter what has happened, I always find myself back in the saddle. It may not be a dedicated training ride, but that pull has never left, so I never questioned if I like riding horses, it’s just everything around it that can be difficult.

What would you say has been your toughest setback in the sport?

Photo by Tilly Berendt.

It was exactly 20 years between my first double gold at the Pony Championship and my individual gold in Tokyo, and in between, everything happened—great success and total disaster. I’ve lost horses, faced disappointing results at major competitions, and struggled with the day-to-day financial strain of keeping my dreams alive.

One of the hardest challenges I faced was a positive medication case at the European Championships in Strzegom in 2017. We had to return our team medal, and I had to publicly defend myself. As a naturally private person, that was excruciating. I had to learn to speak openly, even at public events. I found myself on stage at the federation’s annual ball, answering tough questions. That was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. It’s different from just letting yourself down—when I have a bad result, it’s terrible, but at least I can come to terms with my own actions privately.

But going through that ordeal without even solid proof of what happened was devastating. There was also the stress of keeping owners and sponsors through that time. The entire experience shook me to my core. I didn’t know if I could keep going. Still, deep down, I knew I loved this sport too much to quit. It wasn’t easy, but I kept riding. The horses grounded me. Even on my worst days, riding kept me moving forward.

My positive medication was sandwiched between an embarrassing performance at the Rio Olympics in 2016 and having a run-out after being in the lead at the World Games in Tryon in 2018, so it was a lot of adversity sandwiched together. I wouldn’t want to relive any of those experiences, but I recognize now that they made me stronger. I learned what I’m capable of handling, and most things thrown my way now seem like peanuts in comparison.

What advice would you give to someone who is currently facing adversity?

Julia Krajewski and Nickel 21. Photo by Tilly Berendt.

First, take a step back and remind yourself why you started. It’s easy to get caught up in the pressure of competing, but if you lose sight of your love for the sport, everything starts to feel heavier. Ask yourself, Would I be okay if I stopped riding tomorrow? Do I really want to work an office job? For me, the answer is always no, and that’s how I know I’m still on the right path.

Also, focus on the process, not the outcome. If your happiness depends on winning, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. It’s the small improvements that matter—watching your horse develop, learning something new each day. You need to be happy even when you’re not successful- of course, I do like to win but usually, that’s just the cherry on top of everything else I am working on.

It’s also important to remember that everything you do, you have to take ownership of. You are responsible for your mindset and the choices that you make. Don’t expect someone else to get you out of a hole or solve your problems. Seek help and go to people who can support you, but also take the reins on your situation. When you look into yourself, and take some time to align your thoughts and goals- that’s when things typically come together.

Despite the many challenges Julia has faced — financial uncertainty, public scrutiny, and personal setbacks, to name a few — she remains committed to her path. Her story is a testament to the resilience and mental fortitude required to succeed in eventing. While her journey hasn’t been without hardship, she has learned valuable lessons along the way, both about herself and the sport she loves.

For anyone struggling with their own challenges in the sport, her advice is simple: remember why you started, and keep going.

Between the Ears with Alyssa Phillips

It seems like these days we look at each other’s lives through the lens of a highlight reel. We get to see the incredible trips, the best jumps, and the moments that we’re proud enough of to put on social media. What we don’t talk about is how much pressure this adds to athletes on both ends of the news feed.

Riders, whether professional or not, are made to feel like they ‘have to’ post something that makes them look cool and successful. Then, as we consume this content, we are stuck with the disillusioned perception that the sport is easy and that if you’re not succeeding, then maybe you aren’t cut out for it. I would like to take this opportunity to go ‘between the ears’ of some of the riders that make up our Eventing Nation and work to understand some of the real challenges this industry presents.

On this edition of Between the Ears, I caught up with International CCI4* rider Alyssa Phillips. Alyssa currently owns and operates her own business, Alyssa Phillips Eventing in Ocala, Florida. At just 14 years old, Alyssa won team and individual gold at the 2011 NAJYRC and has had an impressive competition career ever since. With 17 FEI wins, Alyssa is no stranger to the pursuit of excellence. Recently, she has been able to represent Team USA as a traveling reserve for the Pan American Games and a member of several Nations Cup teams. I got a chance to catch up with Alyssa on some of the setbacks she’s experienced recently and how she’s learned from them…

To read more Between the Ears interviews, click here.

Alyssa Phillips and Oskar. Photo by Tilly Berendt.

Can you give a brief history of your career and how you got into eventing?

I started out riding Western when I was really young in Weatherford, TX. Then we moved to Fort Worth, and even though we were no longer in the country, I still wanted to ride horses. We found an English barn nearby, and I began riding English which led me to eventing when I was about six. I always loved horses, but I found Western pleasure to be a bit monotonous, so I transitioned to eventing. I loved the thrill of cross country and jumping in general.

Throughout my childhood and into college, I juggled my studies and riding. In my junior year of college, I decided to move to the East Coast to further my riding career due to the numerous opportunities for schooling shows and events.

In 2017, I started riding with Jennie Brannigan and spent several years learning from her. Just over a year ago, I went out on my own. I base year-round at my farm in Ocala, FL. It’s been a learning experience managing the horses and employees, but it’s been rewarding.

Can you tell me about some of your recent accomplishments and hurdles you’ve had to overcome to get there?

Alyssa Phillips and Oskar B make their team debut. Photo by Tilly Berendt.

Last April Fool’s Day was particularly tough. I fell off Cornelius during the cross country at Terra Nova, resulting in a shattered talus. The injury was severe, requiring emergency surgery to save my foot due to loss of blood supply. At that time, I had just started my operation and found myself unable to walk, with no staff to help. My mom and my good friends, Alexa Lapp and Tayler Stewart, stepped in and helped me run my barn while I was recovering.

It was hard for me to let go of control since I had been used to doing everything for my horses, but it was a valuable lesson in trusting others. As soon as I was capable, I got back into helping in any way that I could with things like driving the tractor or scrubbing the waters. Doing little things here and there helped keep me out of a victim mindset.

I set a goal to compete at Rebecca Farm in July, which was ambitious but gave me something to strive for. With the help of my friends riding my horses, I managed to compete there, even though my doctor didn’t know I was riding. I won both divisions with the two horses I took, which was surreal with everything I had been through.

In the fall, Oskar and I were selected as the traveling reserve for the Pan American Games, which was an incredible experience. From afar, I think it probably looked like I had a bad year in 2023, but it helped me learn a lot and I don’t think I would have had the successes that I did this spring without the setbacks that I faced. This year, we were part of the developing tour, and although Chatsworth was canceled due to rain, we were able to reroute to run a combined test at Bicton which prepared us for Millstreet where the team finished second.

During the development tour, we had a few last-minute changes of plans and subsequently, I decided to alter the logistics of my trip. Mentally, I felt like I had to be ready for anything because I was planning on extending my trip to do either Luhmuhlen CCI5* or CHIO Aachen. I ended up being selected to ride at CHIO Aachen which was a dream come true. I was grateful to be in a place where mentally I felt ready for whatever was thrown my way.

Did you lose any confidence after your injury, and how did you regain it?

Alyssa Phillips and Oskar. Photo by Shannon Brinkman.

The fall itself didn’t knock my confidence because I knew what went wrong, I should have slipped my reins and I would have been OK. However, the severity of my injury made me more cautious, I find myself not wanting to fall off again. I’m careful about what I ride now and avoid riding young, unpredictable horses. When my horses do something naughty, I’m more likely to hop off than I was in the past. I’ve even considered wearing an air vest while flatting or jumping at home. For whatever reason, when I fall, I tend to land on my feet and I don’t think my ankle can handle more trauma.

In competition, I’m not actively worried about falling, but there have been changes to my mindset and preparation. I realize that if I go out on course riding tentatively, I’m going to put myself more at risk for something bad to happen, so I have to stay focused and put the injury behind me.

I didn’t realize the severity of my injury until after the first emergency surgery. My mom and the doctors didn’t tell me because they didn’t want to alarm me. That being said, throughout the entire process the eventing community was incredibly supportive, with people reaching out and offering help. The possibility of a career-ending injury was terrifying, but it made me appreciate the importance of having a good support system.

How do you maintain a work-life balance to avoid burnout?

Alyssa Phillips and Oskar. Photo by Tilly Berendt.

I’ve always tried to maintain a strong work-life balance. Owning a farm is a never-ending job, so I try to focus and work hard when I am here as much as I can but balance it with days away from the barn. Having that personal time is essential for me, and I think it’s important to get away from the grind. I also encourage my staff to take as many vacations as they need to stay fresh on the job, as long as it doesn’t conflict with an important horse show. Because it’s hot in Ocala, we also have the luxury of having some quiet time over the summer. We ride early before it gets hot and have a more leisurely afternoon.

When I broke my foot, I was forced to take time off, and that helped reinforce the importance of stepping away occasionally and trusting that everything would be fine without me.

What advice would you give someone facing adversity in the sport?

Alyssa Phillips and Oskar. Photo by Shelby Allen.

My outlook on riding horses is that adversity is inevitable. Horses can break your heart, but it’s important to maintain a positive mindset. Every challenge is an opportunity to learn and grow. When my foot was broken, I could have easily spiraled into negativity, but I chose to stay positive.

Everything in life happens for a reason, even if it’s not clear at the moment. I don’t think I would have had the success that I did this year if I didn’t have my struggles last year. You can make any good situation bad and any bad situation good. This perspective has helped me a lot, and I hope it can help others too.

Between the Ears with Amateur Prelim Champ Kelly Glaser Beaver

It seems like these days we look at each other’s lives through the lens of a highlight reel. We get to see the incredible trips, the best jumps, and the moments that we’re proud enough of to put on social media. What we don’t talk about is how much pressure this adds to athletes on both ends of the news feed.

Riders, whether professional or not, are made to feel like they ‘have to’ post something that makes them look cool and successful. Then, as we consume this content, we are stuck with the disillusioned perception that the sport is easy and that if you’re not succeeding, then maybe you aren’t cut out for it.

I would like to take this opportunity to go ‘between the ears’ of some of the riders that make up our Eventing Nation and work to understand some of the real challenges this industry presents.

On this edition of Between the Ears, I caught up with Kelly Beaver, who took home the blue ribbon at the American Eventing Championships in the Preliminary Amateur division last year. As a Mom with a full-time job, Kelly shares her insights into how to balance life and competition. I am proud to feature Kelly, as her journey exemplifies that with passion, dedication, and resilience, you don’t need to be a full-time professional to find success in our sport.

To read more Between the Ears interviews, click here.

Kelly Beaver and Excel Star Pluto. USEA/Meagan DeLisle photo

Can you tell me a little bit about how you got your start in eventing?

I started riding when I was about six years old. I had always been obsessed with horses, and we lived outside the DC area. My mom, who had a stressful job and was a single parent, would drive me to Middleburg, VA on Sundays so I could watch the horses. Eventually, she got me riding lessons, and the rest is history. I started with hunter jumpers in Middleburg, then moved to Pennsylvania, where I joined Pony Club and began eventing around the age of 11.

In high school, I was deeply involved in riding, but when I went to college, I made the tough decision to sell my horse and focus on playing softball. I thought I could always come back to riding later. After college, I met my husband Seth, and every time we passed a horse, I would start crying. He realized how important horses were to me, so we got back into it together. About 15 years ago, we bought a small horse farm in Elverson, Pennsylvania, and have been managing it together ever since.

My first event horse out of college was an OTTB, and I ran into a lot of challenges with him. I wanted to ride at the upper levels, but at the time I was naive about what it took to get there. After that horse shut down at the Preliminary level, I was lucky enough to be matched with my first Advanced horse from Courtney Cooper.

Photo via Kelly Beaver.

How has motherhood affected your riding career?

When I got pregnant I had just completed my first Advanced level on my horse, who was 18. I decided to take a year off from competing to enjoy my time with him. Unfortunately, he colicked and passed away when I was seven months pregnant. It was devastating. After my son, Benjamin, was born, I wasn’t sure if I’d ever ride at the upper levels again. Having a kid changes a lot- your body, your mind, your attitude, everything. I wasn’t sure I was going to have the desire to compete, but I realized that when I was just working and not riding, I was miserable. Seth basically begged me to get on a horse after I gave birth! I don’t enjoy leisurely riding, so it was natural that I found my way back to competition. Courtney was instrumental in matching me with my current partner, Pluto, and continues to coach and support me in achieving my goals.

How do you balance a demanding job, motherhood, and eventing?

I’m the Vice President of Energy Marketing and Supply at UGI Energy Services. It’s a demanding job, but I have an amazing team at work that supports me, allowing me to take time for my riding. We help support each other to make fun outside of the office possible so that we all work more energetically and efficiently when we need to. I started remote work during the pandemic and that’s been a game changer for me. I’ve been able to spend partial winters in Aiken, and have more flexibility in my show schedule as well. On a day-to-day basis, I’ve learned to adjust my schedule and ride early in the morning when I need to or if I’ve had a tough day at work I might choose to lunge or do groundwork instead of getting in the saddle while I’m still distracted. I have two amazing coaches, Courtney Cooper and Cindi Stephens that work around my schedule as well and give lessons at all hours and are always available when I’m having a breakdown. I’m also very fortunate to have such a strong team at home supporting me.

My parents live close and will often watch my son or take him to his activities when I have riding obligations. Mom guilt still creeps in when I choose riding over anything with my son, but I do believe you need to make time for your own passions. Lastly, I absolutely would not be able to do this without my husband, Seth. He’s my groom, barn manager, exercise rider, therapist, and punching bag, oftentimes all on the same day!

Did you go to AECs with the goal to win?

Honestly, I’m more of a realist and didn’t go in expecting to win. Honestly, if that thought ever creeps in for any competition, it seems to backfire so I try not to ever think about winning. There’s so much that can go wrong in eventing, after all, there is an animal involved with his/her own mind and thoughts. I tried to have my focus be the same as at any competition, having solid performances in all three phases. Competing at the AECs was, and is, always a goal, and qualifying was an achievement in itself, especially as an amateur. I knew I had some strong competition in my class, but I wanted to focus on my own performance and personal progress rather than the end result.

Kelly Beaver and Sempre Fino. Photo by Leslie Threlkeld.

What challenges do you face as an amateur?

The biggest challenge is comparing myself and my riding to professionals who ride multiple horses daily and dedicate all their time to the sport. I often feel like I’m not doing enough and that if I miss a distance or forget a dressage test, I don’t belong. I’d love to spend more time in the saddle, but I can’t because of the other obligations that I have. Imposter syndrome is real, but I’ve learned to cope by relying on my support system and focusing on personal goals. Professionals sharing their struggles helps, too. I think sometimes amateurs feel like nerves and doubt are reserved for them, but everyone in this sport experiences setbacks. It’s a reminder that perfection isn’t necessary for success.

What advice do you have for other amateurs who want to be successful at AECs?

Define what success means to you. Qualifying for a big event like the AECs is a success in itself. Enjoy the experience, and commit to finding your personal best regardless of the outcome on the scoreboard. It’s a big investment in time and money for amateurs to compete at an event like the AECs and if it’s all about the result, you can leave devastated if you don’t have the right perspective. I try to treat a big horse show like a vacation and remind myself to have fun even when I experience horse show jitters, which is quite often. Beyond that, finding your team and support system is essential. You can’t do it alone, so surround yourself with people who believe in you and your goals.

Between the Ears with Mia Farley

These days, we often view each other’s lives through the lens of a highlight reel, glimpsing the incredible trips, impressive jumps, and moments we’re proud enough to share on social media. What we don’t often discuss is the immense pressure this places on athletes on both ends of the news feed. Whether professional or not, riders feel compelled to post content that portrays them as cool and successful. As consumers of this content, we are left with a distorted perception that the sport is easy and that failure might suggest one isn’t cut out for it. These interviews are part of my mission to shed light on the reality of the challenges faced by everyone, regardless of their level, at some point in their journey.

On this edition of Between the Ears, I caught up with 5* rider, Mia Farley (Age 24). Mia made a splash last fall with her mount Phelps, who was purchased for $1, at the Maryland 5*. The dynamic duo was the only pair to finish double clear on cross country, despite being rookies to the level. Coming off of another inspiring performance at the Defender Kentucky 5*, I got to catch up with Mia to reflect on her journey in horses so far.

To read more Between the Ears interviews, click here.

Mia Farley and Phelps. Photo by Tilly Berendt.

How did you get into eventing?

I grew up on the West Coast, and I started riding and going to the barn every day when I was 3 years old. Initially, I did the hunters, but I did my first event when I was 7 years old. There were a select few eventers who rode at the barn when I was growing up, and seeing them inspired me to try the sport- who wouldn’t want to jump solid obstacles?! For a while, I dabbled between the two sports, and it wasn’t until I moved to the East Coast to work for David O’Connor that I fully committed to the sport of eventing.

What inspired your move to the East Coast?

I had gotten somewhat burnt out riding before my move east. I have a lot of respect for the barn that I rode at in California, but the culture was a bit- you go to the barn, you ride and then you go home. That combined with the fact that there were not very many venues for shows in California left me feeling like I was doing the same thing over and over again. To be honest, I wasn’t having fun anymore. I was young, and not sure what I wanted from the equine industry, and right when I was at the point where I felt like I might take a break from horses to go to college, I met David at a clinic in Temecula. I didn’t think I was going to go, but my mom and my family (thankfully) essentially kicked me out and told me to take advantage of the opportunity. The O’Connors showed me more things to do in the horse world and how to make it more interesting. There was so much more than just the riding, and between all the groundwork and horsemanship that I was taught along with the ability to travel to so many new events, I rediscovered my love for the sport.

Mia Farley and Fernhill Fine Diamond. Photo by Abby Powell.

Has there ever been a time when you lost your confidence in competing?

When my last upper-level mount, Firecracker, moved up to the 4* level, I started with a few bad shows. I got pretty nervous, but with the support of the O’Connors, I took a step back down a level and built my confidence up before I attempted to compete again. It had happened somewhat in the middle of the show season, and I had been going to a show every 3 weeks. I essentially took a break, came back to ground zero, and fixed the holes that were causing the problems that I was having. The process involved a lot of groundwork and understanding how horses see things and understand them. In a way, losing my confidence set me on the path I needed to take to fill the holes in my riding and horsemanship knowledge.

Even working through some of the technical issues that I had with Firecracker, I also had some soundness obstacles with her. It was very disheartening to do everything that I realistically could for the horse, vet work-wise and she still wouldn’t stay sound. At the time, the only other horse that I had was Phelps and I remember feeling somewhat lost because I thought Phelps wouldn’t be able to do anything above Preliminary – it’s funny how things work out. Through it all I’ve learned to trust my horses and focus on building partnerships, the successes come naturally from there.

What obstacles have you faced in your journey up to the 5* level?

Eventing is a huge mental game, so that’s been an obstacle for sure, but I think the biggest thing is that even when I feel confident in myself and my abilities, I still struggle with the confidence that I’m going to be able to financially continue in the sport. I’ve gotten the experience of calling people and asking for help and I am so grateful to everyone willing to be a part of my journey, but it’s still something that I stress about a lot. I am currently starting to break off on my own, and looking into things like buying a truck and trailer, which seems impossible. I own a 3* horse who is very nice, and I know selling her would be a huge help to my financial situation, but I also think she’s an important horse to keep for my career. So finding a balance between the pursuit of my goals and the realities of life is an obstacle I am still facing.

Mia Farley and Phelps. Photo by Shannon Brinkman Photography.

Is there any advice that you would give to someone in the sport who is currently facing adversity?

Knowing how much David and the O’Connor Event Team have helped me, I feel like I have to say that surrounding yourself with the right people who are going to help you through tough times is critical. There is always another door, and even when it feels like one is shutting, you just have to keep your head up and look for the next opportunity. That being said, it’s up to you to change the thoughts that you are having about yourself and your situation. You are in charge of your brain, and you have to be disciplined about picking the right thoughts that are going to help put you on the path toward success. Taking ownership of my situation- through good times and bad- has made a difference in my career so far.

Between the Ears with Ema Klugman

These days, we often view each other’s lives through the lens of a highlight reel, glimpsing the incredible trips, impressive jumps, and moments we’re proud enough to share on social media. What we don’t often discuss is the immense pressure this places on athletes on both ends of the news feed. Whether professional or not, riders feel compelled to post content that portrays them as cool and successful. As consumers of this content, we are left with a distorted perception that the sport is easy and that failure might suggest one isn’t cut out for it. These interviews are part of my mission to shed light on the reality of the challenges faced by everyone, regardless of their level, at some point in their journey.

On this edition of Between the Ears, I caught up with CCI5* rider Ema Klugman. At just 26 years old, Ema boasts an impressive resume of horses that she has produced herself. She was the highest-placed youngest rider at the Kentucky Three-Day Event in 2021 with her self-made horse Bendigo, and recently added a successful completion of the same event on Bronte Beach, another horse she produced herself. If that’s not enough, Ema also has an impressive resume outside the saddle. She holds an undergraduate degree from Duke University and recently completed her J.D. from the George Washington University of Law in May of this year. How does she do it all? Let’s go Between the Ears to find out…

To read more Between the Ears interviews, click here.

Ema Klugman and Slieve Callan Alpha. Photo by Shannon Brinkman Photography.

Can you give us a brief history of your career and how you got into eventing?

I guess my journey really started in Australia because my mum had a keen interest in horses when she was growing up, but I didn’t ride when I was really little. My brother and I truly caught the horse bug when our family moved to Nairobi, Kenya, for a couple of years. During that time, we leased ponies and participated in pony club, which got us hooked on riding.

When we returned to Washington, D.C., we continued riding and joined a local pony club. Although I hadn’t done eventing per se in Kenya, we had done some cross-country and plenty of show jumping. Once I started eventing, I realized it was the most fun sport you could do on a horse. I’ve been eventing at the FEI levels since I was about 16. It’s an amazing sport that demands a ton of work, but it’s incredibly addictive.

You’ve managed to balance your education and professional pursuits with your riding career. Why did you choose this dual path, and how has it been to juggle those interests?

In my family, there wasn’t a question about whether I’d do both education and riding – it was always clear that we valued education. I wanted to go to college, and I continued riding during that time. I had Bendigo, who would eventually become my first 5* horse, and a horse called Joker’s Win, at the time, and we were stepping up to the advanced level on both of those horses. I worked with my trainer, the late Packy McGaughan, during high school, who was an amazing mentor and coach, and I got to check in with him during school breaks, but a lot of my riding was done on my own. Riding advanced horses with little experience at that level was a bit nuts, but it was also empowering and I think it taught me a lot of important lessons.

If you’re just focusing on one thing, you can get really good at it, but I think you can still get very good at something if you are multitasking. In my brain, I think of it more as task-switching (rather than multi-tasking), meaning I put my brain in a different mode for school and for the barn.t is a lot to manage, but I got good at focusing on what needed to be done for either. When you think about it, there are very few riders who just ride and compete– most are running a business, doing sales, and teaching lessons– you sort of have to do a second thing to make the business work. I’m not that different, it’s just that my “other thing” has been college and law school, and soon it will be working as an attorney.

Ema Klugman and Bronte Beach Z. Photo by Tilly Berendt.

Have you ever lost your confidence in riding or competing? How did you overcome it?

Yes, several times. One notable instance was in 2018 when I qualified for the four-star long at Bromont. I went to the competition without a solid plan, and the course was huge. I ended up crashing my horse in the arena, got concussed, and felt pretty shaken. However, with some recovery and the help of my coach, Packy, I got back to training. I wanted to prove to myself that I could do it and that I was a better rider than I was that day. We practiced specific challenges, like big downhill jumps, to rebuild my confidence, and I was able to compete at Great Meadow successfully for my next event, which was only about a month later. One thing I learned from crashing at Bromont is that I gain confidence from having a really good plan. Having a good plan doesn’t guarantee that everything will go perfectly, but it makes it much more likely that you will have a successful competition.

Confidence isn’t just about recovering from falls; it’s also about competence. Practicing and improving your skills is crucial. Sometimes you need to step down a level and work on basics to regain confidence. It can be difficult to build confidence and competence for jumping around the big courses when you can’t necessarily practice them all the time, but as a rider, you have to be disciplined to prepare in a way that helps you go to an event without questioning if you’ll be successful.

What are your thoughts on burnout, and how do you manage it?

I think that burnout can happen when there’s too much going on concurrently, making it hard to process everything. It can also happen when nothing seems to be going your way; just the feeling that everything, for some reason, is going wrong. I’ve had moments where I felt like I was on a treadmill, running without a break. The sport can be exhausting. However, I also thrive on being busy and having multiple goals. In a weird way, it helps me focus. I tend to have the opposite issue with burnout; I feel a little itchy if I don’t have enough to do, and I find it hard to relax if there’s no task at hand.

When things go wrong, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. However, having a clear goal and loving what you do can keep you motivated. There are days when riding feels like a job, especially if it’s freezing cold or pouring with rain, but pushing through those days is essential to achieving long-term goals.

Ema Klugman and Bendigo. Photo by Shelby Allen.

What advice would you give to someone in the sport facing adversity?

Remember that everyone, no matter their level, faces challenges. It’s easy to think top riders have it all together, but everyone deals with setbacks. I think it’s also important to remember that our sport isn’t very diverse, and we need to work on having some perspective on the types of adversity that we face. As a bit of an aside, I would love for our industry to find a way to be more inclusive. But try to keep it in the back of your head that the challenge and adversity that you have in this industry is one that you are privileged to have–many people don’t have access to the kind of lifestyle that we live as Equestrians.

If you’re struggling with resources or your horse’s performance, realize that not every horse is suited for top levels. It’s okay to recognize when a horse isn’t going to meet your expectations. Having a good coach who is honest about your horse’s potential is crucial. Financially, the sport can be accessible if you work hard and have the right support system. You don’t need a million-dollar horse to succeed; good training and good basics go a really long way.

It’s important to stand firm in who you are and what you’re doing. Keep chipping away at your goals, and don’t be afraid to reassess your situation if things aren’t working out. Every rider faces obstacles, but with determination, hard work, and a bit of creativity, you can overcome a lot of them. Eventing is a tough but gratifying sport, and loving what you do makes all the difference.

Between the Ears with Karen Bowersox

These days, we often view each other’s lives through the lens of a highlight reel, glimpsing the incredible trips, impressive jumps, and moments we’re proud enough to share on social media. What we don’t often discuss is the immense pressure this places on athletes on both ends of the news feed.

Riders, whether professional or not, feel compelled to post content that portrays them as cool and successful. As consumers of this content, we are left with a distorted perception that the sport is easy and that failure might suggest one isn’t cut out for it. These interviews are part of my mission to shed light on the reality of the challenges faced by everyone, regardless of their level, at some point in their journey.

In this edition of Between the Ears, we’re shaking things up a bit and delving into the story of Karen Bowersox from the Major League Eventing Podcast. The podcast spotlights individuals in the industry, aiming to bring the sport of eventing into the limelight.

Karen co-hosted the podcast with her husband, Rob, until his sudden passing in November of 2022. Since then, Karen has admirably kept Rob’s dream alive, producing the show with her son, Robby. Through love and loss, there’s always much to learn about resilience and perseverance. So, let’s journey between the ears…

To read more Between the Ears interviews, click here.

Q: Can you tell us about your journey into eventing and how Major League Eventing started?

A: My journey into eventing began with humble roots in the hunter world. From a young age, I was immersed in the equestrian scene, starting with my first pony that I got at age 7 and eventually transitioning into Arabian competitions under the guise of my parents. I wanted to do eventing so bad, but my parents thought the discipline was dangerous and wouldn’t let me try it while I was still under their roof. Life took its twists and turns -— I got married at a young age, and Rob served in the Marines, so we moved around a lot. It wasn’t until later, after settling back on the East coast, that I found my way back to horses and got to start eventing. Both of our sons started riding as well, and when our son Joe started working for Boyd Martin we saw how the sport needed better opportunities for prize money and sponsorship. My husband Rob and I saw the potential to elevate eventing to new heights, and thus, the podcast was born.

Q: Losing a partner is undoubtedly a challenge. How did you find the strength to continue the work you and Rob started together?

A: Losing Rob was incredibly difficult, both personally and professionally. He was the driving force behind Major League Eventing, and stepping into his shoes felt daunting. But amidst the grief, I discovered his goals, both personal and professional, outlined on his phone. It was a poignant reminder of his vision and the importance of carrying it forward. The support from fellow riders and fans of the show also fueled my determination. With the help of my son and our community, we found the strength to persevere. Every time we finish recording an episode I am so glad that we’re still doing it.

Q: How did the eventing community support you during this challenging time?

A: The outpouring of support from the eventing community was immense. From heartfelt messages to food arriving at the house, we felt surrounded by love and compassion. For his service, instead of sending flowers, we asked for donations to be sent to Fair Hill’s From Green to Gold program and they received so much money that they were able to create Major League Eventing jumps among other improvements to the venue in Rob’s name. The eventing community rallied around us, offering not only condolences but also practical assistance. It reaffirmed my belief in the tight-knit nature of our community and the power of solidarity in times of need.

Q: You’ve shared some of your personal fitness journey with the Major League Eventing community. Can you share more about your journey back to fitness after experiencing grief?

A: The past year saw me grappling with grief and its physical toll. I found myself in a rut, neglecting my health and well-being. I know Rob wouldn’t have wanted that for me and I didn’t like what I was doing. It was a realization that spurred me into action. With the support of friends and the guidance of a trainer and nutritionist, I embarked on a fitness journey. From gym sessions to rediscovering the joy of running, I reclaimed control over my physical and mental health. It’s been a transformative process, reminding me of the mind-body connection and the importance of self-care. I don’t even really like running, but I feel so much better after it. I needed to do it and I’m glad that I did.

Q: What lessons have you learned about resilience and overcoming adversity through this experience?

A: Through grief, I’ve learned that resilience isn’t about overcoming adversity but rather learning to live alongside it. Each day presents its challenges, but with resilience comes the capacity to navigate them. I’ve learned that one minute I’m completely fine, and another it feels like I’ve been struck by lightning. My fitness journey has fit into this as well because, on a bad day, I look around and find that my time should be spent playing with my dogs or going to the gym and it cascades into feeling better, sleeping better, and having better overall mental and physical health. Embracing the journey one day at a time has been critical.

Q: Any advice for others experiencing grief and loss, particularly within the equestrian community?

A: Grief is a deeply personal journey, but no one has to navigate it alone. Seek solace in the support of loved ones and cherish the moments of connection within the equestrian community. Take each day as it comes, allowing yourself the grace to grieve and heal in your own time. Remember, true friends and family will stand by you through it all, offering a beacon of light in the darkest of times.

Q: What goals are you currently pursuing to honor Rob’s memory and further the mission of Major League Eventing?

A: Rob had ambitious goals for Major League Eventing, including expanding the MLE Fit Club into a clothing line catering to equestrian athletes. His dream was to have a line of clothing that could seamlessly navigate from the gym to the barn, and I’m looking into different ways to make this a reality. While navigating grief, I’m committed to exploring avenues to bring his vision to fruition and honoring his memory.

As a community, we’re immensely grateful for Karen’s dedication to continuing Rob’s work and embodying the sentiment that life isn’t about what happens to you — it’s about how you respond to it.

Between the Ears: Laine Ashker

These days, we often view each other’s lives through the lens of a highlight reel, glimpsing the incredible trips, impressive jumps, and moments we’re proud enough to share on social media. What we don’t often discuss is the immense pressure this places on athletes on both ends of the news feed. Riders, whether professional or not, feel compelled to post content that portrays them as cool and successful. As consumers of this content, we are left with a distorted perception that the sport is easy and that failure might suggest one isn’t cut out for it. These interviews are part of my mission to shed light on the reality of the challenges faced by everyone, regardless of their level, at some point in their journey.

On this edition of “Between the Ears,” I caught up with Lainey Ashker, who holds the esteemed status of being an Advanced level eventer and a Grand Prix dressage rider. Lainey continues to pursue excellence in both sports and has ambitious goals for the future. Her journey has seen its share of ups and downs, but one thing became clear during our conversation: she’s never giving up. So, armed with that grit and determination, let’s delve into her story…

[Catch up on more editions of this column here]

Laine Ashker and Anthony Patch. Photo by Leslie Threlkeld.

Can you tell me a little bit about how you got started with horses?

My mom has always been into horses, so naturally, she got me into them too. I participated in my first Prelim Championship while still in my mom’s belly when she was 7 months pregnant with me. I was practically destined to be an eventer, and I caught the horse bug easily. My mom supported my dreams by finding off-the-track Thoroughbreds for me to ride and train. We even relocated from California to Virginia to further my eventing career. Of the four horses I’ve taken to the 5* level, three have been OTTBs.

How did you end up branching off into pure dressage?

I always enjoyed the dressage phase of eventing, but it wasn’t my main focus initially- how I got into pure dressage is a funny story. I had posted an ad on Craigslist offering to teach lessons, and only one person responded to that ad—Ann Wilson, who now owns horses for me. She had a passion for dressage and wanted someone to train her Andalusian she had purchased at a dude ranch through the levels. I had a great time working with him, and Ann and I’s relationship naturally evolved from there. Ann has been one of my most supportive owners, and I’m incredibly grateful for her support—and to Craigslist! Getting into dressage has also helped me expand my point of view and see different ways of doing things, which has been great for my career.

Laine Ashker and Anthony Patch. Photo by Jenni Autry.

Can you recall a time when you lost confidence in riding and how you regained it?

Confidence has never come naturally to me, unlike some people who seem to rebound effortlessly. Throughout my career, even before my accident, I struggled with confidence. In 2007, when I was on the training squad, I was the only one who expressed interest in meeting with a sports psychologist. At the time, it made me feel somewhat isolated, but I’ve always been open to anything that could give me a competitive edge, and I am glad that I sought out the support.

Naturally, my biggest blow to confidence came in 2008 with my serious accident. My mom had always taught me that when you fall or make a mistake, you get back on and fix it. However, in this instance, I couldn’t get back on for many months due to being hospitalized. Beyond the obvious physical and emotional repercussions, I also grappled with confidence issues regarding how people perceived me. I faced a lot of negative backlash and encountered many who wanted to interview me for the wrong reasons. The internet played a significant role in affecting how I felt about myself.

Regaining my confidence wasn’t an overnight process, but a good friend, Kristen Bond, gave me a book called “Mind Gym” by Gary Mack, which proved immensely helpful in developing problem-solving skills. I still draw on mantras from that book to this day. Speaking with Daniel Stewart was also pivotal in giving me the confidence to be myself and approach things differently.

When you’re young, there’s a tendency to want to get back into the saddle immediately to prove everything’s fine. Looking back, I realize I did myself a disservice by not acknowledging the emotions I experienced. It’s clear to me now that the worst thing you can do when you lose your confidence is to rush yourself. Riding at a level below your competency allows you the bandwidth to work through the challenges you’re facing.

I continue to prioritize my mental health both as an athlete and as a person. I’ve learned that certain activities, like working out, getting a massage, or going to cryotherapy, contribute to my self-care because they affect how I feel and perform in the saddle. Ultimately, confidence isn’t something you either have or don’t have—it’s complex and individualized. It requires self-awareness and constant effort. Despite the work I’ve put in, my natural reaction to making a mistake is still self-criticism, so I surround myself with people and resources that help me reframe my perspective.

Big hugs for Anthony Patch. Photo by Sally Spickard.

How do you manage burnout?

When I experience burnout, it’s usually due to either the time of the season or feeling stuck because I don’t have many horses and worry about being surpassed by other riders. Our world feels small, with everyone seemingly chasing the same goals, so the fear of being left behind looms large. For me, having a dual focus on two sports has been incredibly helpful. Last year, when I encountered problems with my eventing horse, it coincided with breakthroughs in my dressage horse’s training, making the lows of eventing easier to handle.

Do you have any performance routines for when you feel nervous?

When I’m preparing for a show and feeling nervous, I pick out a few horses or rounds to watch, then give myself some quiet time to divert my mind from obsessing over my performance. I usually play Candy Crush because I know I need to quiet my mind. While some people prefer getting hyped up before cross-country, that doesn’t work best for me. Once I have a plan, I don’t want to overthink it, so I do something completely mindless.

Laine Ashker and Lovedance. Photo by Brant Gamma Photography.

What advice would you offer to someone in the sport facing adversity?

There have been many times in my career when I’ve felt like I didn’t have enough owners, enough horses, or even enough mental strength to continue. In those moments, I picture myself at 80, watching the Olympics and explaining eventing or dressage to my friends, and I wonder, ‘What if I never tried to get there?’ I’m not sure I could live with myself if I gave up on a goal I’ve dedicated my whole life to. It’s easy to stick with what’s safe, and sometimes that’s okay, but when facing adversity, I ask myself if I’ve truly tried everything. This sport is tough, expensive, and physically demanding, but it’s also my dream, and that dream drives me through the struggles because giving up would cost me more. If someone is facing adversity, I urge them to consider that scenario and ask themselves if they’ve left no stone unturned, because, in my experience, there’s always another stone.

Between the Ears: Kate Chadderton on the Complexity of Confidence

It seems like these days we look at each other’s lives through the lens of a highlight reel. We get to see the incredible trips, the best jumps, and the moments that we’re proud enough of to put on social media. What we don’t talk about is how much pressure this adds to athletes on both ends of the news feed.

Riders, whether professional or not, are made to feel like they ‘have to’ post something that makes them look cool and successful. Then, as we consume this content, we are stuck with the disillusioned perception that the sport is easy and that if you’re not succeeding, then maybe you aren’t cut out for it. I would like to take this opportunity to go ‘between the ears’ of some of the riders that make up our Eventing Nation and work to understand some of the real challenges this industry presents.

In this edition of “Between the Ears”, I caught up with U.S.-based Australian 5* rider Kate Chadderton. Kate has produced several horses up to the Advanced/4* and 5* level and has also competed in FEI-level dressage and Grand Prix show jumping. She now finds herself in a new phase of life, where she is focusing less on her personal competition horses and more on her students and sales horses. Her business is based in Cochranville, PA and splits time during the winter in Aiken, SC. With years of experience in the equine industry both in Australia and stateside, Kate shares some important insights as we go between the ears…

To read more “Between the Ears” interviews, click here.

How did you get your start in eventing?

Embed from Getty Images

Growing up in Australia, I was pretty much born on the back of a horse. I lived on a farm in Queensland, which was pretty far out in the sticks, but where I was from every kid had a pony even if they didn’t have much money. So I kept my pony at home, and because we didn’t have a trailer I would ride to get to Pony Club.

It was probably a two-hour ride there and a two-hour ride back and my mom would follow me in the car to make sure I didn’t get hurt or lost because I was only about 6 or 7 years old. I started out camp drafting — which is basically our form of cutting and I also took a liking to show jumping. It wasn’t until 1992 when Australian rider Matt Ryan won the gold at the Barcelona Olympics that I found my love for eventing.

When I turned 18, I worked for Boyd Martin in Australia while he was starting his career in the sport as well. During that time I was very lucky to be able to ride some nice horses, all Thoroughbreds, that helped me get some miles in the sport and then I lived in Germany for a bit and focused on dressage.

In 2008, still determining what my next career move should be, I took a chance on the advice of Boyd and came to America, ending up in Maryland and now, Pennsylvania.

Can you tell me about a time when you lost your confidence?

Kate Chadderton and Collection Pass. Photo by Jenni Autry.

Confidence is a complex subject and I think it is one of the most important things that a rider needs to be successful. I was a very brave and bold kid, and for a long time, not a lot bothered me when it came to being in the saddle. Then I broke my back in a riding accident, and I started to realize that I wasn’t bulletproof.

I had a series of accidents, including breaking my leg while riding a racehorse, and I found myself needing to work on my confidence, especially on cross country. The fences started to feel really big to me, but at the time I had a horse who was a really solid show jumper.

I found that I was more comfortable in the show jumping ring, and I was able to take that horse Grand Prix, which made the heights seem much more attainable. I then would build cross-country questions and exercises in my field out of show jumps, because I felt more comfortable and understood the dynamics — and there were fewer consequences to making a mistake. I was able to practice the skills I needed without the fear of messing up, and that helped me learn what I needed to go back to the solid fences.

Outside of the saddle, I’ve always been shy by nature, and being in a sport that forces you to connect with owners and ask for financial help has also tested my confidence. I found myself creating a persona for these encounters, where I was someone who wasn’t afraid of what people thought of me, even though that was the opposite of how I felt.

How have you managed burnout throughout your career?

Kate Chadderton teaches students learn how to train their horses to make improvements. Photo by Gillian Warner.

I’ve learned to become friends with the feeling of burnout. If I’m feeling burnt out, it usually means that I am pushing myself and doing something worthwhile. Someone like me who doesn’t come from any financial backing has to compete with individuals in the sport who do have that backing, and that competition has usually manifested itself in hard work.

That being said, I think the other side of that hard work is knowing when to take the pedal off the gas, and having breaks to look forward to. I usually can take a week of downtime at some point in the summer and I take advantage of the off-season to go home to Australia or take time away from the horses.

I always look forward to the feeling of being done for the year; getting in my truck to drive home from whatever event is our last and putting my flip-flops on (regardless of what temperature it is outside) to symbolize the start of relaxation mode!

You’ve recently transitioned your focus from competition yourself to more lessons and sales, can you tell me a little bit about how you’ve adjusted to that mentally?

Kate Chadderton and VS McCuan Civil Liberty at the 2015 Blenheim Palace CCI3* Photo by Shannon Brinkman.

I feel very fortunate to say that this has been one of the biggest mental struggles of my life. There are so many people out there in challenging situations that don’t involve their life passion, but I’m still navigating it.

The transition didn’t happen in one day, and it’s not even really a decision that I made or wanted to make, but several things have come up that have forced me to restructure the way that I run my business. My business has always involved training, teaching, sales, and competition and now I am mostly focused on teaching and sales.

I’ve been chasing competitive goals for over 20 years and without it, it feels like part of my identity is missing. I’ve had to channel the passion that I do have for sales and teaching to sustain me while I figure out what this phase of life and business means for me.

What advice would you give to someone in the sport who is currently facing adversity?

Kate Chadderton and Collection Pass at Rolex. Photo by Jenni Autry.

Overall, I would say, don’t forget the horse. The horse and the horse’s emotional state are the most important things in our industry. They do this because they like us, not because they have to. And I think it’s incredibly important to respect the animal and to treat the animal with kindness. Things will get tough, but the love and passion we have for our horses can get us through anything.

When faced with adversity, there’s a hundred percent guarantee that if you push forward and just keep trying, you get to the other side. As a coach, I see a lot of my students go through tough times and I feel like part of my job is to help them through, which doesn’t end when I walk out of the arena.

There is a mental side to dealing with setbacks, and the path forward will depend on what kind of problems the person is having. For instance, if someone had a bad fall, I try to help them learn from the experience so that they feel like they have tools and not just the emotions of the experience.

Saddle Up for the Trip of a Lifetime: The Whole Equestrian Lake Girl Retreat is Coming in May

Imagine being part of an all-inclusive and exclusive wellness retreat tailored specifically for equestrian women. You will immerse yourself in luxury lake accommodations with 4-8 new best friends, indulge in 18 hours of personalized wellness and performance workshops, savor delicious and nutritious meals, engage in daily movement activities, experience deep relaxation, enjoy scenic hikes, and take home upscale swag that will be cherished forever.

If that sounds like heaven to you, you need to go on the Whole Equestrian Lake Girl Retreat.

Photo courtesy of Stephanie Everett.

Stephanie Everett M.Ed CHC is a wife, mother, and working professional on a mission to help educate and empower people to take charge of their well-being. As the owner of Total Evolution Health and Transition, Stephanie is able to help fulfill this mission through her corporate wellness program, Pillar Corporate Wellness, and by hosting transformative weekend getaways, dubbed ‘Lake Girl Retreats’.

When I first met Stephanie, we connected so easily on our values and views of health and wellness, that the idea of teaming up to host a Whole Equestrian Lake Girl Retreat was a no-brainer. As equestrians, we tend to invest all of our time, money, and energy into our horses and we don’t often take the time to invest in ourselves. Not to mention, it’s hard to work on habit changes when you are fighting against the forces and stressors of everyday life.

Lake Girl Retreats offer a chance to reset and overhaul — and not just by chewing on raw vegetables and drinking green juice for four days. These retreats are a little like going to summer camp as an adult, complete with specially tailored workshops to fit the group’s needs. You’ll embark on a journey of growth, laughter, and profound connections. Additionally, you have the luxury of having not one but TWO wellness professionals to guide you on your journey.

Check your calendar: we are set to host our first retreat together on May 16-19 in Deep Creek Lake, MD. All levels and disciplines of equestrian life are invited. If you’re interested in joining us, please reach out for more details.

To give you an idea of what the experience will be like, I caught up with Stephanie, who has hosted 10 retreats since 2019.

Photo courtesy of Stephanie Everett.

What is your favorite part about hosting retreats?

I think when I first started doing retreats, my favorite part was the praise that I would get for their successes. The little compliments, like people telling me they liked the food and didn’t expect healthy to be so tasty or giving me positive feedback about their life well after the retreat. Now that I’ve been hosting 1-2 retreats a year, my favorite part is watching the group connect organically. Many times, the women don’t know each other before attending a retreat, and I just love stepping back to watch friendships form from the experience. That is why the majority of the women prioritize attending every retreat they can after their first one, which explains why there have been so few spots available to newbies these last couple of years.

What is one thing women can expect to gain after attending one of your retreats?
Something that most women don’t take time to do is pause and think about their lives holistically. Thinking about all the things that they have done to define who they are now, with zero judgment, and considering their aspirations for who they want to become and how to get there. Each individual who comes to my retreats leaves knowing themselves better through a supportive process of reflection and renewal, in both biology and biography. They leave empowered and ready to seize opportunities to write their life story according to their dreams and goals.

Most people hear the word “wellness” and think of fitness or nutrition. What else do you cover on the retreats?

I cook healthy meals for everyone, and we do some form of daily movement- but the focus of a Lake Girl Retreat is not a strict diet and workout regime. We also have wine, eat cheese and we have a lot of fun! Our sessions work on the whole person; the group dynamics enhance this process. We talk about broad ideas like our connection to other people, our families, and what is and isn’t working in our lives. It’s a bit like getting recalibrated in a way that makes you feel confident to make lasting changes in your real life.

Photo courtesy of Adrienne Morella Photography.

What’s one piece of wellness advice you could give to any Equestrian, knowing what you do about the lifestyle?

So I just started taking riding lessons, and I’m excited to learn more about horses in the upcoming months before our retreat, but from what you’ve told me and what I’ve witnessed, the ‘easiest’ and most actionable advice I could give would be to focus on hydration and being aware of your caffeine intake.

I’m not saying to quit caffeine altogether, but be mindful of the timing. Drinking caffeine after noon can drastically affect your sleep- whether you feel it directly or not. If you track your sleep patterns, you will notice a huge difference in your sleep score for the better by simply eliminating caffeine after noon. Sleep is very important! Drinking water consistently throughout the day will help you flush out caffeine and other unwanted toxins.

Remember, if you’re not stopping a few times a day to pee or you have dark, pungent urine, you’re not drinking enough water. I have a ton of hacks around the hydration habit and so much more for sustainable energy, focus, and mental clarity.

Dr. Tyler Held EdD CMPC is a former 5* Groom who currently owns and operates her Sport Psychology Consulting Business, Thought Quest Solutions LLC. She is also the host of The Whole Equestrian Podcast and writer of the popular Between the Ears series here on EN. This retreat is an extension of The Whole Equestrian’s mission to ‘bridge the gap between riding and wellness’ and help riders support their own needs through the tough demands of life with horses.

To learn more and reserve your space, please email [email protected].

Between the Ears with Will Faudree

It seems like these days we look at each other’s lives through the lens of a highlight reel. We get to see the incredible trips, the best jumps, and the moments that we’re proud enough of to put on social media. What we don’t talk about is how much pressure this adds to athletes on both ends of the news feed.

Riders, whether professional or not, are made to feel like they ‘have to’ post something that makes them look cool and successful. Then, as we consume this content, we are stuck with the disillusioned perception that the sport is easy and that if you’re not succeeding, then maybe you aren’t cut out for it. I would like to take this opportunity to go ‘between the ears’ of some of the riders that make up our Eventing Nation and work to understand some of the real challenges this industry presents.

On this edition of Between the Ears, I caught up with 5* Rider, Will Faudree. Will found great success early on in his career with his mount, Antigua. The pair was a part of the Gold Medal winning team at the Pan American Games in 2003, the traveling reserve for the 2004 Olympic Games, and a part of the team at the 2006 World Equestrian Games. He was also the traveling reserve for the London 2012 Olympic Games on his mount, Andromaque.

In 2015, Will had a freak fall in the Advanced division at Five Points Horse Trials, where he broke his neck in two places. Will has returned to upper-level Eventing, competing in multiple international events and representing Team USA as the traveling reserve for Tokyo 2021 with Mama’s Magic Way. Through the highs, lows, and everything in between, Will has an interesting perspective on confidence, burnout, and sustaining a career in the equestrian industry. So with that, let’s go between the ears…

To read more “Between the Ears” interviews, click here.

BOOM! Will Faudree and Mama’s Magic Way nail the brief with a career best. Photo by Libby Law.

Can you tell me a little bit about how you got into eventing?

I grew up in Texas on a cattle ranch that my family owned, so horses have always been a part of my life. My earliest exposure was to Western riding, but I’ve always been a little bit of a black sheep in my family, so naturally I was more drawn to riding English. I actually saw a movie called Sylvester, where the main character turns a rogue horse bought from a livestock auction into a champion eventer, and that got me interested in the sport. That was in the early 90s, and I never looked back. In 2001, I was able to be a part of the gold medal young rider team and then went to work for Phillip Dutton for a few years before going out on my own.

What are some of the biggest accomplishments in your career?

Will Faudree and Mama’s Magic Way. Photo by Tilly Berendt.

I had a lot of competitive success early on in my career. I had represented the country and done most of the biggest and most prestigious events by the time I was 25, and obviously, competitive success is easy to track. In a way, it doesn’t feel like I’ve reached that level of success since I had Antigua, and frankly, I’m proud of the longevity of my career despite that. After the World Games in 2006, Karen Stives gave me some of the most important advice I’ve received, and that was not to expect my next horse to fill Antigua’s shoes.

That one phrase has enabled me to continue to stay passionate and engaged in the sport, regardless of the level at which I am competing. Instead of chasing the results, it allowed me to focus on the horses as individuals and develop partnerships with them. I am still striving for results at the top competition, but beyond that, I’m proud of the longevity of my horses’ careers and the obstacles I’ve been able to overcome.

I broke my neck in 2015, and getting back to the 5* level after an accident like that has been a success in and of itself. I also lost my sister in 2008, and I think it’s difficult to navigate a competitive life after losing a loved one. Instead of viewing success as a singular event or accomplishment, I’m able to take a step back, look at my journey, and be proud of it as a whole.

What are some of the tools you used to help come back to the sport after your neck injury?

I was laid up for such a long time after my neck injury and subsequent surgery that I had a lot of time to think about what it was going to feel like when I was finally able to go cross country again. I worked with sport psychology consultant Abigail Lufkin, who helped me be OK with not knowing what my return to competition was going to feel like.

I’m very goal-oriented, and I like to plan and visualize, and I found that after my injury, when I would start to visualize myself going cross country, I would fall and break my neck again. It was really hard for me to accept that it was ok to have these thoughts, and in a way, they were important in helping me get over the fear.

I learned to navigate the negativity with meditation, focus exercises, and breathing techniques. Ultimately coming to terms with the reality that another fall might happen helped me mentally prepare myself to get back on course.

Do you have any pre-performance routines for cross country?

Will Faudree and Carli 13. Photo by Shelby Allen.

I tend to be very quiet and internal when I get nervous, and I used to panic about that. I thought I should be pumped up, so I would try to listen to loud music. But I don’t like loud music, so I eventually accepted the fact that it’s ok to be quiet.

If I’m really nervous, I’ll sometimes pull up YouTube videos of Tony or Academy Award speeches, and I just listen to the gratitude that people show. The emotions of these individuals as they accept awards demonstrate the passion and hard work that goes into a big success, and that helps me get in touch with the mindset that I have for riding. It helps remind me that this sport is about my horses and the relationship that I have with them.

I also enjoy that everyone who wins an award is consistent in thanking their team, and I am reminded that I would be nowhere without the vets, farriers, grooms, owners, and sponsors that I have by my side.

Interested in dialing in to this attitude of gratitude? Here are some of Will’s favorite speeches:

Viola Davis wins Best Supporting Actress:

Kelli O’Hara Tony Acceptance Speech:

Have you ever experienced burnout? How do you navigate it?

Absolutely. And just like I think it is ok to have thoughts that things might not go well when you’re riding, it’s ok to experience burnout. We all need a break, and I think our horses need the break as much as we do. I used to be hard on myself when I was feeling that way, but I’ve learned as I’ve gotten older that it is important to make time to do things that I enjoy.

It would be very easy for me to fill up every single weekend with a clinic, and I’m sure my bank account would be very happy, but I know I wouldn’t be. So instead, I make sure I take time to go for a hike or fly up to New York to see a show.

What does the off-season usually look like for you?

Will Faudree and Andromaque at Rolex 2012. Photo by Samantha Clark.

The horses go on holiday after their last big competition of the year, and they won’t come back to work until about January 1st. I keep the young horses in work, but I try to make the atmosphere of the barn more relaxed and take time to unwind. I like having the quiet weeks at home, and this year is actually the first year in a while that I’ve taken a real vacation.

I spent a week this winter on the Queen Mary, going from New York to Southampton, England, by myself. Vacation or not, the off season is a great time to reflect and see where you can improve. If I had finished Burghley on my dressage score, I would have won- so I’ve been using that experience, both positive and negative, to make my plans and goals for next year.

What advice would you give someone in the sport who is currently facing adversity?

Whenever things get hard or stressful, I always tell myself to keep going. We have no choice but to move forward, even if that means moving forward down a different path. You have to be honest with yourself about what you’re facing and then make a plan. If it’s a soundness issue with a horse, figure out what the treatment plan is. If it’s a financial issue, brainstorm what actions you can take to overcome it.

It’s very easy to compare yourself to other people in the sport, and I’ve been guilty of that as well, but it’s important to remember that the grass is always greener on the other side, but you have to figure out how to play on the grass you’re standing on. Figure out what your situation needs, and start there.

Will Faudree and Pfun. Photo by Leslie Threlkeld.

When I was going on my trip on the Queen Mary, I had people ask me if the ship would stop anywhere. We sailed across the middle of the Atlantic, so there was nowhere to stop, and during the trip, for the first time in my life, I enjoyed the journey. That was such a good reminder for me.

This year is an Olympic year, and I would love to make the team, but I also know that that may not happen. Three people are going to the Olympics this year. I’m going to take every day one step at a time and enjoy the journey because the journey is all that is guaranteed. And the problem with focusing on the destination is, where do you go after that?

Embrace the sport for what it is, enjoy your horses, and just keep moving forward.

Between the Ears with Woodge Fulton

It seems like these days we look at each other’s lives through the lens of a highlight reel. We get to see the incredible trips, the best jumps, and the moments that we’re proud enough of to put on social media. What we don’t talk about is how much pressure this adds to athletes on both ends of the news feed.

Riders, whether professional or not, are made to feel like they ‘have to’ post something that makes them look cool and successful. Then, as we consume this content, we are stuck with the disillusioned perception that the sport is easy and that if you’re not succeeding, then maybe you aren’t cut out for it. I would like to take this opportunity to go ‘between the ears’ of some of the riders that make up our Eventing Nation and work to understand some of the real challenges this industry presents.

On this edition of Between the Ears, I caught up with 5* Rider, Woodge Fulton. Woodge runs FMF Equestrian with her partner David Ziegler out of Full Moon Farm in Finksburg, MD. Talking to Woodge, it was clear that she agreed with the core inspiration of this series: what you see on social media is not always what you get. Woodge grew up on a farm and has had the opportunity to travel the globe, attending competitions as both a groom and a rider. At just 28 years old, Woodge has already collected experiences and insights that are worth reading. So let’s get between the ears.

To read more “Between the Ears” interviews, click here.

Woodge Fulton and Captain Jack. Photo by Jenni Autry.

Can you tell me a little bit about how you got into horses and the sport of eventing?

I’m very lucky that both of my parents are in the business of horses. My mom started her career in zoology. She ran quite a few zoos around the country, and she ended up at the National Zoo. Missing the horses, my mom went to ride at a local barn, where she met my dad, who was managing the farm. They bought Full Moon Farm together the year before I was born, so I was lucky to be brought up on a farm.

My sister Grace and I did a ton of things with horses growing up, mostly English, but I also did a brief Western stint and went to the Quarter Horse Congress. Eventing started to be the clear path forward when I was lucky enough to get an older Advanced horse that no longer wanted to compete anywhere close to Advanced, and she helped show me how fun the sport can be.

My parents were open to both my sister and me doing other activities growing up, but I think growing up in that environment, we were both naturally attracted to horses. Having my parents to look up to and seeing the business that they built was and is incredibly inspiring and humbling. No one could shelter us from the realities that come with horses. On Christmas and snow days, Grace and I were in the barn, mucking stalls.

I think a lot of people dream of a life with horses, and I feel grateful that for me, those dreams were solidified, knowing the difficulties that come with the lifestyle and not looking through rose-colored glasses.

Woodge Fulton and Captain Jack. Photo by Leslie Threlkeld.

Can you tell me about a time that you lost your confidence in riding or competing?

The last time I truly lost my confidence was when I went to Burghley in 2019. I had a really scary fall close to the end of the course. Somehow, we both walked away fine, but I knew that I had come close to dying and killing my horse at the same time. He had come down on top of me, and there was a good bit of time where he was not moving and I could not feel my legs.

I was so scared, and I didn’t know what it would look like moving forward from something like that. I walked him back to the barn myself and couldn’t help thinking it was uncomfortable to have something so drastic happen without any consequences. I know that sounds strange, but when I’ve had bad falls in the past, they’ve typically come with injuries and time off to think through what happened and what could have been done better.

I’ve had time to grieve and process. In this case, I was ending my time overseas, so I went home and was immediately back out competing. I took five horses to a local show without a break. I knew I was scared and didn’t want to have another fall, but of course, when you ride scared, you don’t ride that well.

So I had these young horses, luckily all going training and below that, I gave bad rides to. I was trying double as hard and double as fast, and that wasn’t going to bring my confidence back.

Luckily, though, it was the end of the season, and I was able to reset my confidence through the natural progression of the off-season: jumping cavalleti, taking the horses out at lower levels to knock the dust off, and that kind of thing.

That being said, this is probably the first show season that I haven’t come out of the start box at the first show worried about making the mistake again. It takes time and discipline to regain confidence.

Woodge Fulton and Captain Jack. Photo by Nico Morgan Media.

Can you tell me a little bit about how you experience and deal with burnout?

There are a lot of things that trigger burnout for me. My mom is like superwoman, and she always has a buzz of energy. It seems like she thrives in chaos, and I am not that type of person.

It’s taken me a long time to realize that it’s okay that I’m not that kind of person. I love a schedule, and I love when things are planned. Obviously, with horses, things don’t always go to plan, and I know that, but I find that I get stressed out and burnt out when I’m not in control. I’ve been working on being more adaptable to changes in the plan, and that’s been helping.

I also struggle in the winter when I don’t have as much daylight to get things done. It’s stressful trying to find out what you can trim out of your day to make it all happen, and ultimately, that can be draining, not to mention the lack of sunlight. After spending so much time working in a strict program, I find it hard to give myself a break. You want all the horses to get all the things, but I think part of managing burnout is realizing that on some occasions, it’s OK if a horse only gets a 20-minute hack instead of an hour-long one.

Woodge Fulton and Captain Jack. Photo by Leslie Threlkeld.

What advice would you have for someone in the sport who’s currently facing adversity?

If you’re facing adversity, I think the best thing to do is to take the time to be sad about it and process how much it upsets you and why it upsets you. I don’t think I would have said the same thing even just a few years ago, but it’s OK to feel sad.

It’s the equestrian culture to love the struggles and the hustle. If your horse breaks, you’re told to start looking for the next one. If you get injured, you’re supposed to find what you can do to stay fit enough so that you can get right back out and compete as soon as possible. I’ve done both of those things and found myself set back further because I had to deal with unprocessed and complicated emotions.

I think it is equally important to make sure that the people you have in your corner and the people who are advising you and helping you are also giving you the time and space to process.

There comes a time in a place when you need someone to give you a kick in the pants and say, “Okay, now it’s time to get over it and move on.” But that shouldn’t be the first thing that your coach, your parents, or your owner say to you; they should be there to comfort you while you feel all the negative emotions that come with adversity.

Savannah Fulton and Captain Jack. Photo by Leslie Threlkeld.

Is there anything else that you’d like to share with readers?

As a young person coming up in the sport, I wish I had been more aware that no one is perfect. You can love a musician’s music without loving them as a person, and the same thing applies to the stars of any industry. It’s really easy to idolize people without understanding the whole picture of who they are or what their life is actually like. No one is perfect, and we need to allow grace for that, but we also can’t put someone up on a pedestal and take everything they say as gospel.

As a kid, I wanted to do whatever it took to get to the top and be the best, and I still do, but it’s just as important for me to be a good person, love my horses, and make sure they feel good. I don’t think that means I’m not competitive, and I’m willing to make sacrifices, but I’m not willing to ruin my relationships or ignore my mental health. Medals and awards don’t do anything for me on a daily basis.

I think that if more people in this sport change their perspectives, it will lead to healthier careers and healthier workplaces. I know for a fact that thirteen-year-old me would read this and think, “She’s given up.” But as I’ve matured, I’ve come to realize that it’s so much harder to work on those relationships and to train your horses well while being a good person and a good boss than it is to just try to be the best at winning.

Between the Ears with Zoe Crawford

Welcome to EN’s 2023 rewind! We’ll be resharing some of our most popular stories from the year throughout the last few days of 2023. This article first appeared on EN in June.

It seems like these days we look at each other’s lives through the lens of a highlight reel. We get to see the incredible trips, the best jumps, and the moments that we’re proud enough of to put on social media. What we don’t talk about is how much pressure this adds to athletes on both ends of the news feed.

Riders, whether professional or not, are made to feel like they ‘have to’ post something that makes them look cool and successful. Then, as we consume this content, we are stuck with the disillusioned perception that the sport is easy and that if you’re not succeeding, then maybe you aren’t cut out for it. I would like to take this opportunity to go ‘between the ears’ of some of the riders that make up our Eventing Nation and work to understand some of the real challenges this industry presents.

To read more from the Between the Ears series, click here.

Zoe Crawford and K.E.C. Zara. Photo by Abby Powell.

I think everyone remembers the first time they fell in love with horses. For Zoe Crawford, it all started at her grandparents’ cabin in New England and a memorable trip… to get ice cream.

As the story goes, across from the ice cream stand was a ranch offering pony rides. Little Zoe threw a temper tantrum when she was told to get off of her pony and her parents thought, “This kid needs some riding lessons!”

Growing up in the city of Boston, Zoe had to start at a local hunter/jumper barn, where she was involved in Pony Club but didn’t have access to real eventing until after she graduated high school. After graduation, she took a gap year to be a working student for Jeannie Clark in Ocala, where she finally got her first taste of eventing.

Throughout college, Zoe learned and rode as much as she could. By the time she graduated, she had three horses and went right into building her own business. Now a CCI5* rider, Zoe has a lot to share about what she has learned in the industry and all the ups and downs along the way. Let’s go between the ears…

Can you tell me about how you built confidence throughout your college years while not being in a program full-time?

“I was able to compete at Young Riders the summer before my sophomore year of college, and in doing so, I was named to the U25 Team. This opportunity, and getting help from Leslie Law were crucial to navigating the waters of upper-level competition. A year or two later, I was awarded the Essex grant, which was another huge boost to my confidence. Here I was, juggling school, competition, and training- and getting the validation that someone else saw my hard work was awesome. That summer, I came up to ride with Phillip Dutton, and I learned a lot from him as well as other professionals in the area. At that point, my confidence was very high.”

Zoe Crawford and K.E.C Zara. Photo by Tilly Berendt.

When was your confidence at its lowest? How did you get it back?

“I think the biggest thing that really rattled my confidence was following my first year at Kentucky. [K.E.C. Zara] had been so consistent on cross country, so I just really didn’t expect to fall off. Luckily, we both walked away fine, but the experience affected both of our confidence. It was the first time that I had a fall like that. Coming off of the event, I was lucky enough to have two other horses, one going Prelim and one going Intermediate, so I got to get right back out there. I did go quite slow on cross country while I was getting back into the groove of it and trusting myself again. But I think the confidence just came back with time and practice.

“When I got to go back to Kentucky with Zara, we made it through cross country, but that show was not without its challenges either. I had to face a huge mental battle when I was held on the cross country right before the exact spot where we had fallen before. Over the loudspeaker, I could hear it was Ashlynn Muechel whose fall had caused the hold on course. Ashlynn and I are friends, and we had driven up to the show together and were sharing a tack stall, so it was really hard to not think about her on top of all the other emotions I was experiencing. Zara is quite hot at events, which proved to be a welcome distraction. I had to use all of my concentration to keep her calm during the hold. I also took the opportunity to think about my game plan and realize that if I had to take some of the longer routes, that would be OK because my goal was to get through the finish flags.”

Zara and Zoe were ultimately spun at the second jog after their successful cross country completion at Kentucky in 2022. Luckily, it was just a little bit of soreness and the pair was able to compete at the Maryland 5 Star later that fall, complete with a double clear cross country ride and a top 20 finish. While gearing up for their Kentucky redemption this fall, Zara sustained an injury and is now enjoying retirement with Zoe.

Zoe Crawford and K.E.C. Zara. Photo by Sally Spickard.

How are you dealing with Zara’s retirement?

“When I found out that Zara was injured, it was obviously bittersweet. I caught the leg right before we left for Stable View, and she wasn’t even lame on it, so on one hand, I was disappointed about the future but on another, I was so glad that I know my horse so well and trusted my gut to have her looked at. So I’m glad she’s ultimately OK, and she’s still here with me in my barn and I get to see her everyday. She’s 17 now and I’ve had her since she was six, and with all she’s given me, I just don’t think it’s fair to try to make her come back to compete at that level again, even though her prognosis looks great.

“Now that she’s retired, it’s almost like I’m starting over again. I currently don’t have any other horses competing at the upper levels, which is something I have to wrap my head around. Zara took me around Advanced for six years and now I don’t even have something going FEI. So now I’m just focusing on the lessons that I learned from her and how I can produce the horses that I do have now.”

Zoe Crawford and K.E.C. Zara. Photo by Abby Powell.

Have you ever experienced burnout? How do you overcome it?

“I’ve been burnt out a few times on different levels. Sometimes it’s been when I feel like the horses haven’t been going as well as they should be, and sometimes it’s when I feel like I’m working away and not a whole lot is changing. The last time I was really feeling it, I had a conversation with my Dad and he asked me if I wanted to do something else, and that kind of snapped me right out of it. Even when the day to day stuff gets hard, it’s still what I want to be doing. I can’t see myself working a desk job and I know that there are going to be struggles everywhere you go. Zara helped put things in perspective for me, because the challenges that I’ve faced with her have given me confidence to handle other setbacks.”

Zoe Crawford and K.E.C. Zara. Photo by Shelby Allen.

What advice would you give for someone in the sport that’s currently facing adversity?

“Sometimes you have to be one of your own biggest cheerleader, which can be really hard, but you have to be able to believe in yourself. I also feel like you have to have a few people that you can call and vent to, just so that whatever you’re going through, you can get it off your chest. The reality of the horse industry is that you might not be able to change the situation that you are in, so you have to have those people that are going to help you process your feelings.”

Zoe is working on rebuilding and refocusing her goals for this year, growing her business and building her team. One of the most unique things about our sport is that it’s so dependant on our horses, and sometimes they have their own needs and plans.

If you make the Olympic team for basketball, you don’t have to restart at the pee-wee game just because your basketball deflated, but when you’re an equestrian, you are going to have to constantly rebuild horses and partnerships from ground zero as part of the process. This is where separating yourself from results is an important part of mental health, from Beginner Novice to Advanced, and everything in between.

Dr. Tyler Held EdD CMPC is a professional groom and Certified Mental Performance Consultant. You may have seen her over the last few years working for International 5* Jennie Brannigan or listened to an episode of her podcast, The Whole Equestrian.

Tyler started riding in summer camp at the age of 5 and essentially never looked back. She obtained her Undergraduate degrees in Animal Science and Equine Business Management from the University of Findlay in 2014. During this time, she spent her summers doing her first working student job at an eventing barn and quickly became obsessed with the sport. After experiencing some mental blocks in her own riding, she decided to focus more on grooming and learning more about Sport Psychology. In 2017 she moved to Chester County, PA to work as a Vet Tech and groom for Dr. Kevin Keane, which opened a lot of doors in the eventing community.

Just as she finished her Master’s Degree in Sport and Performance Psychology, she took the reins at Brannigan Eventing as head groom. Now partially retired from grooming, Tyler is focusing on growing her consulting business, Thought Quest Mental Performance Solutions, and helping Equestrian athletes navigate the mental challenges that come with the sport.

Between the Ears with Erin Kanara

It seems like these days we look at each other’s lives through the lens of a highlight reel. We get to see the incredible trips, the best jumps, and the moments that we’re proud enough of to put on social media. What we don’t talk about is how much pressure this adds to athletes on both ends of the news feed.

Riders, whether professional or not, are made to feel like they ‘have to’ post something that makes them look cool and successful. Then, as we consume this content, we are stuck with the disillusioned perception that the sport is easy and that if you’re not succeeding, then maybe you aren’t cut out for it. I would like to take this opportunity to go ‘between the ears’ of some of the riders that make up our Eventing Nation and work to understand some of the real challenges this industry presents.

On this edition of Between the Ears, I caught up with Erin Kanara (you may have formerly known her as Erin Sylvester). Erin has ridden at the Advanced and 5* levels on several different mounts and currently runs her training business, ES Eventing, out of Cochranville, PA. Erin had a beautiful baby girl almost two years ago and is already getting back after upper-level competition. I got a chance to talk to Erin about her journey, how she is navigating motherhood, and her insights on how to mentally approach the sport of eventing.

To read more “Between the Ears” interviews, click here.

Erin Kanara and Campground. Photo by Shannon Brinkman.

Can you tell me a little about how you started your journey in Eventing?

I grew up in Massachusetts, in a town called Hingham, south of Boston. By chance, I took my first few riding lessons from Elizabeth Iorio. Elizabeth is part of the family that owns Apple Knoll Farm, where they hold recognized events in Area I. After learning a lot of my fundamentals from Elizabeth, I started taking lessons from Adrienne Iorio. Elizabeth and Adrienne are the ones who got me into Pony Club and eventing. I probably seemed a bit like a hooligan because I was pretty untrained, had my ponies at home, and just kind of found my way while taking lessons here and there.

When I got to college, I moved to Area II to go to the University of Delaware and to ride at True Prospect Farm. Riding with Phillip Dutton and then later with Boyd Martin, I started to ride and train more consistently than I ever did growing up. I have since stayed in the area and now run my own business, ES Eventing, in Cochranville, PA.

Has there ever been a time that you’ve lost your confidence in riding and competing?

I had a baby girl almost two years ago. I rode through a good portion of the pregnancy, but I stopped jumping about halfway through and just stuck to riding horses that I trusted and knew were safe. When I got back into riding after I had my baby, I started to lose some of my confidence, mostly jumping big jumps. My strength wasn’t where it was before I gave birth, and I didn’t realize it until I started to feel like myself again.

I honestly feel like it’s taken almost a year and a half to get back to my reaction time riding, which you don’t quite know is gone when you’ve lost it. I kept thinking, ‘What’s happening with my body right now’ and couldn’t seem to get my feel back until I started practicing more. Every cross-country course I went around began to feel a little better—a little better, a little better. Looking back, it makes sense because I ended up going almost a year without jumping big jumps, but as a lifelong equestrian, I was surprised at how I was affected by the time off.

As a new Mom, have you found yourself contemplating the safety of our sport any more than you used to?

Erin Kanara and Paddy The Caddy. Photo by Shannon Brinkman Photography.

I’ve always been someone who tries to practice safe training and safe competition, one hundred percent of the time. I think, if anything, my understanding and recognition of that have become more clear. When you’re leaving the start box to go around a five-star, you think for that split second of everyone you love, and that’s when I think about my baby girl. After a moment of appreciation, I switch to being on task because staying focused is part of what keeps me safe.

I have also always been a big believer in having the proper safety gear. I had a rotational fall forever ago on a training-level horse while I was wearing a helmet with a brim. The brim came down and broke my nose, and I had a laceration between my eyes, so now I always go cross country, even schooling, in a Charles Owen Skull Cap. I also never jump a cross-country jump without a body protector, and my body protector of choice is the USG Flexi Motion Body Protector! Having the right equipment, staying on task, and focusing on how I can ride safely helps mitigate most of the thoughts about danger.

How do you prevent burnout?

I think we all go through times when we feel like we can’t quite get ahead of the curve of burnout. I run a training operation on top of my competition horses, and I have my family too. The inherent diversity in my jobs and roles helps me to keep a little bit of balance. When something isn’t working out, I usually have other things to focus my energy and time on. Sometimes I think people get burned out because they do so much of the same thing. Of course, I have a lot on my plate, but it opens my life up to stay interesting, and I don’t often feel burnt out.

What do you think is one of the biggest obstacles that you’ve had to overcome in the sport on the way to your biggest accomplishment?

On a general level, I would say riding cross-country comes naturally to me, while my polish with dressage and show jumping is not as natural. I’ve ridden a lot of thoroughbreds, and it’s much different than riding a European-bred horse. So I’m always working on my skills in those two phases. I’d like to think that my greatest accomplishments are still yet to come. I have a few young horses that I’m excited about- so the challenge is to get to that point with them. I’m not big on rushing horses toward outcome goals. I want them to be super strong and confident at a level before I move them up. So I am staying patient with the group I have now and looking forward to the future.

What advice would you give to someone in the sport who’s currently facing adversity, be it a lame horse, an injury, or some form of setback?

I feel like I run into this a lot with the young riders that I help. When you are faced with a setback, you just have to kind of take a deep breath and take a beat. See what you can do with this time. Maybe focus on some younger horses. If you just have one horse, maybe you can take that moment and work for someone different or go to a different location and kind of make the most of what you have.

Erin Kanara and Campground. Photo by Tilly Berendt.

Sometimes, what feels like a setback could just turn into a silver lining for you and you don’t even know it. Disappointments are frequent in the sport of eventing, and being able to navigate disappointment is what makes the people who are great riders great. Things that people might consider ‘bad’ actually build resilience and the ability to be adaptable.

When I was just out of college, I had a sweet little Thoroughbred that I did my first advanced on. He was an angel, and I was super proud that we did it, but he had no business going advanced. At the time, I had another young horse, Potter, who was struck by lightning in the field and passed away. Within a couple of weeks, my other horse who was just getting up to preliminary, had a major injury that was going to set him back at least a year and potentially end his career completely.

I was devastated. I went from having a couple of exciting horses to suddenly feeling like I needed to start from scratch. During that time, I had a friend call me who had a horse that she had foxhunted a bit, and his owner wanted to sell him. She said he was kind of crazy but she thought there might be something to him. That horse ended up being No Boundaries, or Bucky, as we called him in the barn, who was owned by Jill Tallman and was my first five-star campaigner. Bucky had a very crazy streak in him, which was probably why he was sometimes so wild on the flat, but he was a cross-country machine.

I was beyond lucky to experience and achieve all that I did with him! To date, he’s been the best five-star horse that I have had, and he came up by chance when I was sitting there thinking, what the heck am I going to do? It’s so important in those moments to take a deep breath, keep your eyes open, keep connections coming, and something might just come along that turns things around for you.

When faced with adversity or disruption in your grand plan, I think it’s also important to remember that your mission is not only yours and that your support team, family and friends, owners, and staff are all behind you and share your triumphs and disappointments. I am so lucky to have an amazing core group of family, friends, owners, sponsors, and staff, and knowing that they are a part of the journey and supportive in the face of adversity helps me see the silver lining and find a path forward to strive for better riding and greater results!

Between the Ears with Laura Crump Anderson

It seems like these days we look at each other’s lives through the lens of a highlight reel. We get to see the incredible trips, the best jumps, and the moments that we’re proud enough of to put on social media. What we don’t talk about is how much pressure this adds to athletes on both ends of the news feed.

Riders, whether professional or not, are made to feel like they ‘have to’ post something that makes them look cool and successful. Then, as we consume this content, we’re stuck with the disillusioned perception that the sport is easy and that if you’re not succeeding, then maybe you aren’t cut out for it. I would like to take this opportunity to go ‘between the ears’ of some of the riders that make up our Eventing Nation and work to understand some of the real challenges this industry presents.

On this edition of “Between the Ears”, I caught up with Laura Crump Anderson of Hidden Heights Fitness (who also writes fitness columns here on EN — check them out here). Laura is a lifelong equestrian who is the author of Ultimate Exercise Routines for Riders: Fitness that Fits a Horse Crazy Life. You may recognize her name from the various blog posts that she has crafted on this very site. If you’ve been keeping up with the series, this edition is going to be a bit different, as Laura and I focused on the intersection between physical and mental health and the journey of managing both.

To read more “Between the Ears” interviews, click here.

Can you tell me a little bit about yourself and your career?

Having an equestrian for a mom, the joke is that I started riding when I was negative nine months old. Growing up, I did hunter jumpers and a lot of trail riding and I found the sport of eventing through pony club when I was 12. By age 14, I was so much of a ‘barn rat’ that I ended up with a severe overuse injury to my back and my orthopedic surgeon told me I had the spine of a ninety-year-old.

I had to stop riding for six months but was able to find my way back in the saddle through physical therapy. That experience helped shape my life as a fitness professional and I have since made it my mission to help riders realize how important it is to treat ourselves like the athletes we expect our horses to be.

So the physical health journey started because of your injury — can you tell me about your mental health journey as well?

This is a bit of a long and convoluted story, but when I was in college, I was locked in an elevator for about 12 hours. I had forgotten my student ID to open the doors and the emergency button was disconnected. I had gone in around 8 p.m. and wasn’t let out until a janitor let me out in the morning. I was trapped, and I didn’t know when I was going to be let out. That feeling of being trapped has continued to be a mental trigger for me, even today.

Horses have always been my way out of that. Always brought me joy and quieted my mind. But the year I got trapped in the elevator, I hadn’t been able to bring my horses to school with me, and one of the biggest things that made me feel really good and really in control was exercise. I then had a two-fold perspective of fitness. I already knew I needed to cross-train to keep my body strong enough to enjoy my time in the saddle and I was beginning to learn the effect that physical activity could also have on my mind as well.

When I got back to a place where I could have my horses with me again, I realized what a hugely positive influence they could have on my mental health. Not just from the connection and getting to do what I love perspective, but also from a stabilization perspective. I did all their care, so I had a responsibility to them that was outside myself, an obligation to keep moving forward.

More recently, I’ve been struggling with some pretty intense panic attacks, usually when I’m feeling trapped or feeling like I have too much on my plate. Finances play a huge role as well. I love my horses, and when I feel like I don’t have enough money to afford them or afford the things that they need, I start to spiral.

The pandemic amplified things for me because of how unstable the face-to-face health industry was, and there were a lot of transitions going on in my life. I constantly feel stuck in this paradox where horses are a positive influence to my mental health and yet a potential trigger for panic. I don’t compete even though I want to, because I find it hard to justify the expense. I remember when I was 14 or 15 and saved up money for an entry fee just to lose the money when the event got rained out. I don’t fault organizers for not being able to provide refunds, but that uncertainty isn’t something that I’m ready to cope with.

My mental health journey has included horses and fitness, but it has also included many mental health professionals helping me find the right coping mechanisms to manage the panic that I feel. I am grateful to my horses for grounding me throughout the process and providing motivation on even the toughest days.

Photo courtesy of Laura Crump Anderson.

As an amateur equestrian and fitness professional, do you ever experience burnout?

One of the biggest times I experienced burnout was in 2019. I was working for a fitness company and it was doing very well. I had just acquired a mobile gym, so the specialized equipment that we used for strength training was able to go to the barns and work with riders. I was working easily seventy to eighty hours a week. I barely saw my husband. I had a realisation that the lifestyle was unsustainable, and I had to remove myself from that business. It was a very hard decision to make. It was the hardest decision I’ve made professionally in a long time, but I was at a point where I had to do a hard reset.

I had to step away from something that was successful in order to create something that was sustainable, which ended up working out in my favor because then the pandemic hit and I was able to have a job in health care for a bit while the personal fitness industry was unstable. Now, I’ve made my way back to my new business and I know I needed things to fall apart to get to where I am, and I realize that working hard is important, but not at the cost of being burnt out.

What advice would you give to someone in the industry that’s facing adversity?

Don’t quit, but try slowing down. Find what brings you joy. Focus on the aspects of your job or sport that make it worth it. Don’t chase the wrong things, because that’s how you end up building a life that isn’t desirable anymore. Whether you’re an equestrian professional or you’re just riding as a hobby, you ultimately need to be doing it for the right reasons, so don’t lose sight of that.

Photo courtesy of Laura Crump Anderson.

What do you what do you do on a day when you don’t feel motivated to work out?

If it’s a day where I don’t want to even get out of bed, and I’m supposed to do a workout, I make sure I at least go for a walk. I get out, I put my sneakers on, and I go walk. I commit to at least walking a short loop, and usually that will get me in the zone to walk a bit longer. The thing is, if I feel like I have to do strength on that day, I’m never going to do it. But I can always start small, and small pieces of consistency are better than nothing at all. Walking gets my body moving and gets me out of my head. I’ll either listen to some pump-up music or go with my husband and I’ll get to have a conversation with him and it becomes a connection process as well.

Mental Health is a complex subject. If you or someone you know is struggling with a mental health concern, please know that there is help available. Horses ARE a great way to relieve stress, but they are not a substitute for professional guidance. Call or text 988 for crisis support.

Between the Ears with Endurance Rider Dr. Pamela Reband

It seems like these days we look at each other’s lives through the lens of a highlight reel. We get to see the incredible trips, the best jumps, and the moments that we’re proud enough of to put on social media. What we don’t talk about is how much pressure this adds to athletes on both ends of the news feed.

Riders, whether professional or not, are made to feel like they ‘have to’ post something that makes them look cool and successful. Then, as we consume this content, we are stuck with the disillusioned perception that the sport is easy and that if you’re not succeeding, then maybe you aren’t cut out for it. I would like to take this opportunity to go ‘between the ears’ of some of the riders that make up our Eventing Nation and work to understand some of the real challenges this industry presents.

To read more from the Between the Ears series, click here.

Pam on Skeeter, the mare she had her accident on. Photo by Susan Kordish.

If you’ve stumbled upon this article, there is a pretty good chance that you love horses, which also means that there’s a pretty good chance that through your love of horses, you have also confronted injury, fear, and anxiety. The reality of a life with horses is that there are inherent risks — whether you plan to go Advanced or are simply interested in trail riding with your friends.

If you’ve been following along with my Between the Ears series, you’ve heard stories from upper level eventers, and many of those stories included setbacks related to physical injury and how these riders were able to sort through related fears and get back to Eventing.

On this edition of Between the Ears, I got to talk to Dr. Pamela Reband, who many of you eventers reading this have probably have never heard of! Pam is a retired anesthesiologist who has been riding since the 1960s. She is an endurance rider who embraces the AERC (American Endurance Ride Conference) motto “To finish is to win.”

So why am I interviewing an adult amateur endurance rider for this blog? Well, after 60 years in the saddle, Pam suffered from some pretty significant fears that might have kept her out of the saddle for good and instead of giving into the fear, Pam is gearing up to take on one of the most challenging endurance rides in the country, The Tevis Cup, next year.

Working in the industry as a Mental Performance Consultant, I have found that fear in horses transcends performance in a traditional concept. For many people, fear is getting in the way of simply having fun and enjoying horses in any capacity. So I wanted to bring you Pam’s story, as hers is the story of an everyday equestrian- which let’s face it- most of us are! Pam also tells her story in her self-published book Three Steps Up to Mediocrity.

Can you tell me a little bit about your background in horses?

I’ve done just about everything you can do with a horse; breeding, showing, driving, training, jumping, and managing a farm, but it was never my full-time job. I had a career as a doctor, and I have a husband and two daughters. I didn’t discover Endurance riding until I was in my 50s, but it has been a passion for me ever since.

You didn’t start experiencing fear in the saddle until later in life, can you talk to me about the circumstances that led to that fear?

My story started with a two-year hiatus from riding when my husband was sick. Those two years really took a toll on me physically and mentally. When I was finally able to find time to get back in the saddle, I had pains and aches that I had never had before and just didn’t feel as comfortable or balanced in the saddle as I once was. I started to avoid some of the harder training trails that I had once been comfortable on but got to a point where even the easier trails made me feel uneasy.

Eventually, I was just riding in my front lawn, and on one of these rides, my mare Skeeter tripped. Because I was so off-balanced and not riding well, I tipped forward onto her neck and because I was afraid, I grabbed onto her neck, causing me to fall on the concrete-like Arizona dirt and pulling poor Skeeter down right on top of me.

That was my “straw that broke the camel’s back” moment. I sustained a rotator cuff injury, bruised the bones down my side, and had a lot of soft tissue damage, but nothing that required hospitalization or casting. Following the fall, I realized that the most significant injury I sustained was to my mind.

Two weeks following the fall, I decided to get on my grandkids’ horse, Charlie. During the ride, Charlie tripped, very small and very slightly — I started shaking and sobbing and immediately got off. For a while after that, I would pull Charlie out of the barn with every intention of riding, but when I thought about pulling myself into the saddle, I was so afraid I actually started to vomit.

Without ever really confronting the fear or the situation, I decided that Skeeter was not a good fit for my new instability and so I sold her and set out to buy a new endurance horse. Meanwhile, my husband and I also went through the process of selling our ranch in Arizona to move closer to our children. While I was still too afraid to get on Charlie, and while my life was in complete flux, I found a 14.3-hand, 6-year-old, 900 lb ‘ball of energy’, Shiloh, who also would become a very large part of my story.

Pam on Shiloh. Photo by Maria Phillips

How did you work through your fears?

By the time I was settling into my new farm in Tennessee, it had been almost three years since I had ridden with any kind of consistency. I was working towards getting back on Charlie but would find myself making excuses not to ride the second I got to the top of the mounting block. I got VERY lucky as it turned out a friend of a friend of mine connected in the horse world lived right in my neighborhood. She started to come out and ‘help me’ ride Charlie, offering moral support and a safety blanket — and at the same time suggested that I reach out to a local trainer, Scot MacGregor to help me train Shiloh.

To say that Scot changed my life is an understatement. He began training Shiloh into the horse I needed him to be and, after I gathered the courage to explain that my fear was actually the biggest problem, he started to train me as well. Scot worked at my pace to give me the confidence and courage to get back to fully riding.

At first, when Scot was riding Shiloh, I enjoyed watching and was fascinated both by the horse and Scot’s training methods, but eventually, I began evading the sessions for fear that Scot would want me to get on. In true Scot fashion, there was no pressure or timeline attached, after about a month of training, he simply told me “Shiloh is ready when you are.”

I had been slowly gaining my confidence back on Charlie during this time as well. I would even ride Charlie while Scot rode Shiloh, watching how genuinely good my little horse was becoming. Scot kept pulling me in the direction of feeling safe and confident until one day, I decided I was ready to get on Shiloh. I needed help, instruction, and support, I even needed to be reminded to breathe, but Scot was there every step of the way and despite my uncertainty, the ride was a success.

So I guess that’s how I worked through my fears, slowly, not all at once. After that initial ride on Shiloh, there were still many “firsts” to conquer: the first ride outside of the arena, the first ride alone, the first ride on trails we had to travel to, and even the first official endurance ride. I was able to accomplish all these firsts, but I never approached the next step until I felt entirely comfortable and safe and I always had Scot leading me in the right direction.

Pam and Scot ride together. Photo by Becky Pearman

Why did you decide to write your book?

What happened to me happens to an amazing number of people. It has shocked me since the book has come out how many people have reached out and shared similar experiences. I like to think that my voice is battling the “perfect” vision of what people think it looks like to come back from a fall or a setback. My journey was imperfect, but here I am today getting to enjoy my love of horses. I had been journaling and blogging about my experiences anyway, so I figured I would compile them into a book to help others along the path.

What advice would you give to someone currently battling fears in the saddle?

If you’ve got a fear or PTSD from an incident in the saddle, decide if it’s worth the work to get over it. It isn’t always worth the pain, trouble, and angst to get back to riding.

Once you’ve made up your mind that it is, know that it’s a long journey but it’s worth it. You’ve already decided it’s worth it and once you make that decision, you’ve decided the outcome. The only question is “How long will it take?” and it will take what it takes. For me, and I had a lot of help, it has taken about four years and I still have flashbacks and frightened moments. I’ve had a lot of messages from people who have read the book, some of whom are discouraged by how long it is taking and some of whom are jumping to the big steps instead of the small ones. Even babies crawl before they walk, you have to be patient in taking small steps.

In the words of Ted Lasso, “Taking on a challenge is a lot like riding a horse, isn’t it? If you’re comfortable while you’re doing it, you’re probably doing it wrong.” Now I’m not saying that the goal isn’t to be comfortable in the saddle, but I think people have a really warped view of what it takes to overcome fears in riding.

The old-school advice we get is to simply ‘get over it’ or ‘fake it until you make it’ and when you have a fear response, especially after a fall or accident, that advice just simply isn’t going to cut it. You have to take the small steps and surround yourself with the people who will help encourage you on that path, regardless of how long it takes.

Between the Ears with Courtney Cooper

It seems like these days we look at each other’s lives through the lens of a highlight reel. We get to see the incredible trips, the best jumps, and the moments that we’re proud enough of to put on social media. What we don’t talk about is how much pressure this adds to athletes on both ends of the news feed.

Riders, whether professional or not, are made to feel like they ‘have to’ post something that makes them look cool and successful. Then, as we consume this content, we are stuck with the disillusioned perception that the sport is easy and that if you’re not succeeding, then maybe you aren’t cut out for it. I would like to take this opportunity to go ‘between the ears’ of some of the riders that make up our Eventing Nation and work to understand some of the real challenges this industry presents.

To read more from the Between the Ears series, click here.

Courtney Cooper and Who’s A Star. Photo by Leslie Threlkeld.

On this edition of Between the Ears, I spoke with Courtney Cooper, owner of C Square Farm and the USA partner of Excel Star Sporthorses. A 5* rider in her own right, Courtney has also made a life and business of selling horses, which I think we can all agree is no easy feat. If you are shopping for a new partner, there is a pretty good chance someone has told you to “see what Courtney has”, given that she can have up to 20 quality horses for sale in her barn at any time.

I had the chance to talk to Courtney about how she manages to balance sales with her career and some of the hurdles that she has faced in this side of the industry.

Can you tell me about how you started your career in eventing and how you decided to make sales the focus of your business?

I started riding when I was 12 at NCMT, New Canaan Mounted Troop, in New Canaan, CT, which was based on the tenets of the Calvary system; similar to Pony Club. The focus at NCMT was Eventing, so that’s how I got into the sport.

When I got to college, I wanted to keep riding but my parents said ‘no’ unless I paid for it and maintained a ‘B+’ average in school, so that’s what I did; I attended Rice University in Houston and started a career in sales to pay for horses. I sold Cutco knives throughout college and was very successful at it, and when I graduated I started selling insurance for Northwestern Mutual Life Insurance.

Horses continued to be a part of my life at the amateur level, and I was riding with Bruce Davidson Sr., living in Georgia, and Bruce told me if I wanted to do horses full time, I needed to move to Unionville or Middleburg. I didn’t know anyone in Middleburg, so that’s how I ended up where I am now.

In the beginning, I was sort of just buying and selling horses myself, and my business grew naturally from there. I imported horses from Ireland, did consignment sales, and even started breeding. In 2016, I was able to take my very first homebred, Who’s A Star (Tag), to complete the Kentucky 5*. The next year, I took Tag back to Kentucky, and we weren’t as successful. Sitting around after cross country, I started to think a bit more about how to make this sport work.

I’ve never really been in a position to have owners and sponsors who are paying the bills on a competition horse. So I went back to Ireland, where I’ve always felt comfortable, to try to figure out something sustainable. 18 months later, Excel Star Sport Horses was created with my overseas partners. Now we import about 40 to 50 Irish horses a year to sell and compete, and I can have a few horses to compete myself as well.

Courtney Cooper and Who’s A Star. Photo by Leslie Threlkeld.

How has your business model affected your confidence in your riding throughout the years?

When I first started my consignment business, I would pretty much take anything as long as it wasn’t dangerous or lame, because I truly believe that every horse has a place. That being said, taking in horses where you feel like you are just fixing problems is tough. You can use the same methods of training you’ve been successful with for many other horses, and sometimes it just doesn’t work because of the baggage that the horse carries with it.

Now that my business is focused more on young Irish horses than consignments, I struggle with the lack of consistency that is inherent with a young horse. Some days, things click into place, and it feels amazing. Then the next day, on the same horse, it feels like the wheels are falling off the bus, and you don’t know what you’re doing.

I am lucky to have good partners that I work with overseas, and if they have a horse that isn’t suited to my market, they won’t put the horse on a plane to come over; unfortunately horses are horses so we occasionally, run into problems. Sometimes horses don’t ship well, and as a result, they regress in their training before you can make any progress. So some horses take longer to produce than others.

I’ve also had my fair share of injuries, but for me, the biggest knock to my confidence is when my training methods ‘should’ be working, but the results just aren’t showing in our performance.

I feel like a lot of people stray away from sales because they find it difficult to sell a horse after developing a relationship with the animal. Do you ever deal with these feelings?

The hardest horses for me to sell are my personal horses. For instance, right now, I have a very competitive eight-year-old, Excel Star Tick Tock. She’s a winner through the preliminary level and will likely continue to move up, and we adore her. She’s been in my program since she was a four-year-old. And, so, when someone comes and tries a horse like her, I take things a little more personally because I have done all the work to get her where she is today, and she is a member of the family.

There have certainly been times when I wish I had someone like me that I could send my horse on to and have them sell the horse for me, because it’s hard, when there are emotions involved. That being said, most of the horses that I have in, specifically to sell, I don’t have for very long, so I don’t struggle so much with finding them homes on an emotional level. I do, however, keep up with the horses I sell, regardless of how short a time they are in my barn. I created a private Facebook page for my clients to keep up with me and each other, to celebrate successes on the horses, share their journey, and also get support for any roadblocks that they may face in horse ownership.

Courtney Cooper and Excel Star First Class. Photo by Shelby Allen.

What do you think is the hardest challenge that you face in the industry?

I think the hard thing is that a lot of people choose to not use a dealer or someone who sells a lot of horses because of the risk of being scammed. I always thought that the fact that I sell a lot of horses was a benefit to use someone like me. I have an incentive to want to sell quality horses and to be honorable in the sale.

When someone only has one horse to sell, their reputation isn’t riding on the sale of that horse. Whereas for me, my reputation is made with every horse that I sell. I am not saying there are not people who don’t take advantage of the fact that they sell a lot of horses either, and people need to do their homework.

From the early days of my consignment business, when I was taking a lot of horses that had previous bad experiences, I always made sure I was very upfront with people regarding the horses’ strengths and limitations. Honesty is always my priority. I now bring over a lot of Irish horses, and not every one of them is an upper-level prospect. A lot of them are just kind, good-quality animals that are going to bring someone a lot of joy and happiness.

I like to be open and always give vet records, and some professionals have told me they will never do business with me because of that. I want to be fair and transparent and make sure the animal goes to a place where he or she will be successful if they have limitations.

Buying and selling horses is a difficult and emotional process. I don’t think it’s my job to sugarcoat everything and make people believe that the horse they “love” when they try it is their “heart” horse. Unfortunately there are others in the industry that do that, in order to make a sale, and that’s when inappropriate partnerships may be made.

Personally, if I sell a horse that doesn’t work out, I will do my best to make the situation right and find a more appropriate match. It’s challenging to navigate an industry where everyone has a different opinion of the “right” way to do things.

Courtney Cooper and Rock Star. Photo by Amy Dragoo.

Have you ever experienced burnout and how did you work to overcome it?

I had a really hard year last year for a lot of different reasons, and I did get really burned out. Honestly, I’m just now crawling out of my little dark hole. The first horse that I was hoping to take overseas had to be euthanized, which was incredibly difficult. I also had a close family friend who had always been supportive of my business pass away. Those were the big things, but a bunch of different little things happened as well, and I was just kind of left questioning what I wanted to do with the rest of my career and life.

The horse world has so many highs and so many lows, and, you know, the game is to try not to be too high and not to be too low. I’ve always been pretty good at that, but this time, I just couldn’t seem to get out of the low. I luckily have a bunch of very good friends who encouraged me to seek some professional help, which has been great. I’ve always used a sports psychologist, but for this particular experience, I needed more than that. I think without the support, I could have been stuck in the dumps for much longer.

Throughout the process of feeling better, I worked towards enjoying all of the little successes, like people calling me and telling me how much they are enjoying their horses, how much their horses have changed their lives, and how I’ve been a part of that. That’s why I do what I do, I love making partnerships, and I think with everything that I was going through, I got disconnected from that.

I remember the weekend that I won the USEA Four-Year-Old Young Event Horse Championship with Excel Star Time to Shine. That same weekend I had a lady call me, who four months earlier, was scared to death of competing. She had bought a horse from me and was now so happy and confident. She just won a horse trial on her new horse, and that felt like more of a win than the trophy that I went home with that weekend.

As for other ways I cope with burnout, I’ve always been hard-pressed to take time off, so I probably don’t do enough for myself to help deal with burnout as I should. Connecting with my ‘why’ is a good start – ‘why’ I do what I do, and so one of the best things for me to do to manage burnout is to go to Ireland. It sounds crazy, but I’ll go for three days, and I can sleep on the way over. I get to spend some time with my partners and look at some horses. Then on the way back, I have eight uninterrupted hours to daydream and think about my goals and my priorities. It revitalizes me.

Courtney Cooper and Who’s A Star. Photo by Leslie Threlkeld.

What advice would you have for someone in the sport or industry in general who’s currently facing adversity?

Don’t be afraid to ask for help. It’s a little bit of a taboo thing, especially, in this industry where we’re told so often to ‘just deal with it.’ I think when you’re looking at adversity, it’s really hard to feel like you’re not in it alone. There are a lot of people who care, and there are a lot of people who see you for more than just a ‘horse person’.

When everything was happening with me last fall, I went to Fair Hill and probably had the best dressage test that I had to date with one of my young horses in the 3*. And I withdrew. I knew I was not in a mental place to make good decisions, and I would have hated myself if something had happened to that horse because I had pushed myself to get through the event.

I think some people understand exactly why I did it, some people probably thought I was crazy and some people didn’t care one way or the other. I was able to look to my friends for advice and they supported my decision. I’ve become better friends with some people because I opened up to them and said, I’ve been having this challenge, and I don’t know what to do with it. There were also a couple of people who just didn’t have the bandwidth or the ability to talk to me or listen to me at the moment, but that doesn’t mean it was wrong to share in the first place.

I ended up going to Tryon and having an amazing go, but I didn’t know that would happen when I scratched from Fair Hill. Sometimes you just have to make the right choice for your mental health and safety regardless of what it might mean for the future.

Whether you ever plan to sell a horse or not, I think we can all learn a lot from what Courtney has to say about her time spent in the industry. Shortly after our talk, Courtney sent me the Berné Brown quote, “Integrity is choosing courage over comfort; choosing what is right over what is fun, fast or easy; and choosing to practice our values rather than simply professing them.”

Whatever you choose to do, with or without horses, do it with integrity, and when things get hard, don’t let your pride get in the way of asking for the support and help that you need. Our sport is dangerous, and while some might view scratching from a horse show because ‘your head just isn’t the right place’ as weak or avoidant, it’s the rational and healthy thing to do.

There are so many things in this life that are more important than a horse show, never jeopardize that for fear of what other people may say. I think a lot of times we get stuck in a future-oriented mindset — we can’t do the next big show if we don’t get a qualifying score at this one, and so we just keep pushing.

The thing is, the future isn’t guaranteed, so don’t make today miserable hoping for good things around the corner, look for the good wherever you find yourself today.

Between the Ears with Jenny Roberts

It seems like these days we look at each other’s lives through the lens of a highlight reel. We get to see the incredible trips, the best jumps, and the moments that we’re proud enough of to put on social media. What we don’t talk about is how much pressure this adds to athletes on both ends of the news feed.

Riders, whether professional or not, are made to feel like they ‘have to’ post something that makes them look cool and successful. Then, as we consume this content, we are stuck with the disillusioned perception that the sport is easy and that if you’re not succeeding, then maybe you aren’t cut out for it. I would like to take this opportunity to go ‘between the ears’ of some of the riders that make up our Eventing Nation and work to understand some of the real challenges this industry presents.

To read more from the Between the Ears series, click here.

Jenny Caras and Trendy Fernhill.
Photo by Shannon Brinkman Photography

After suffering from a freak fall on a Training Level horse at Chattahoochee Hills in late October last year, Jenny Roberts made an amazing comeback, helping Team USA clinch silver at the FEI Nations Cup in Strzegom just eight months later. I got a chance to talk to Jenny about this experience and some of the other mental challenges she has faced in her career as a professional eventer in this edition of Between the Ears…

Can you tell me a little bit about how you got into the sport of eventing?

I think I first got on a horse during my second birthday party, where my parents got me a petting zoo, and there was a pony and pony rides, and I didn’t want to get off the pony. I started crying every time they pulled me off.

I started begging for riding lessons and ended up at a riding school from when I was about four years old to when I was twelve or so. Around that time, I saw an ad for an O’Connor camp that used to run in December of each year so I tore out the page and told my mom ‘This is what I want for Christmas.’ At the time, I was pretty good at the riding school, but I had no idea the sort of depth that I was going into for the camp.

With my eyes and my mind wide open, I soaked up every second of the experience, and actually, David and Karen are the ones that convinced my mom to buy me a horse. I got a mare and started focusing on training for eventing, first with Mike Winter and then with Julie Richards, who was my biggest influence growing up. I moved out of my parent’s house when I was fifteen and lived with Julie for a while. Then I eventually made my way up to Pennsylvania, and now I’m running my own business in Georgia.

Jenny Roberts and Trendy Fernhill. Photo by Tilly Berendt.

Can you tell me a time that you feel like you lost your confidence in riding or competing and how you came to overcome it?

I constantly struggle with this. So before, when I was kind of coming up through the levels with my Advanced mount, Fernhill Fortitude (Forty), I had confidence issues that were based on performance and the fear of not performing well. Specifically, I was afraid to have cross-country penalties. I wasn’t necessarily afraid of falling or getting hurt, or anything like but I was a constant fear of failure.

That fear shut me down, it was like I had beat myself before I even started, so to speak. I started talking to a sports psychologist, Abigail Lufkin. Working with Abigail, I was able to find a system that helped me manage my anxiety. She helped me set performance goals instead of outcome goals, because you can’t change the outcome. I learned you can’t just say, ‘I’m going to go win’ because you can’t control if you win or not, you can just do the best that you can. So it changed my way of thinking from ‘I have to get a really good score’ into ‘I need to ride a balanced turn’ or ‘I need to practice the test more.’

Looking back, the mindset I had on Forty was crippling, because I got so hung up if I didn’t have a low dressage score because I thought ‘Now I’m not going to win’ whereas now I’m able to turn that all into a focus and attention on what I need to do to get better.

So, the work I did with Abigail helped me manage my performance anxiety much better, but last year when I had a pretty significant fall, my confidence issues resurfaced differently. I was riding a Training level horse, and it was a completely freak accident. I had just been second at the Fair Hill 3*-L the weekend before and on that day I had already ridden four horses successfully around the cross country. Then over the fourth fence, my young horse misread the question and I ended up in the hospital with a broken pelvis and some pretty significant internal injuries. Luckily, the fall happened at the end of the 2022 season, but getting back into it this year I found myself being afraid of falling over and getting hurt and it started to manifest in not wanting to do anything or change anything in front of the jump.

I think the most successful cross-country riding comes from attacking the course, being confident, and being determined and I just wasn’t able to get myself to ride like that. Meanwhile, I was still getting opportunities to develop my riding through US Equestrian, and with that came the pressure to perform, all while I was still battling some of the physical pain of my injuries.

Jenny Roberts and Trendy Fernhill at Strzegom. Photo by Mariusz Chmieliński.

As I was getting back into competing, I started having 20s on cross country where I knew I shouldn’t have. And it was happening on multiple horses, so I know it wasn’t the horse — it was me. Eventually, I started getting nervous even getting ready for cross country. I would basically have a panic attack that I was going to fall down and get hurt — even at the lower levels. Once I got on the horse and started riding, it would go away, and show jumping was fine, and I was even fine schooling, I was just really struggling at the shows.

It had been a while since I had spoken with Abigail, so I decided to call her and put in the work. We began talking 1-2 times a week, as much as I could fit into my schedule, and we started to dissect how I felt about the fall that I had had.

The more and more we dissected the incident, the more I was able to realize that I wasn’t really afraid of the fall itself, it was fear of failure resurfacing because of the experience. I remember the pain of the fall and I even got knocked out — I was able to cope with both of those experiences as well as the rehab — it’s part of the sport and I know I can’t 100% prevent something like that happening again. But I realized I’m OK with that.

What I was most afraid of was indecision, or making a decision that could lead to a failure. We came up with ways to redirect the negative thoughts I was having into positive ones, and I started to be able to think more clearly in front of the fences. I realized that I don’t have to be perfect. There are so many ways to jump these jumps, and just because one horse and rider combination rides it one way, doesn’t mean you can’t do it another as long as you are being safe.

Realizing that my need to be perfect actually was causing some unsafe riding habits really freed my mind up to ride more confidently. Working with Abigail has always been super helpful for me, because she knows the sport so well having competed to a high level herself. At both Bromont and Strzegom, I tapped into that determined and committed feeling on cross-country that I’m looking forward to build the rest of the year.

Jenny Roberts and Trendy Fernhill. Photo by Shelby Allen.

Do you have any tips or strategies for managing burnout?

I think one of the most important things for me is realizing that even though I love horses and I’m so lucky to live my passion, it’s still a job- and everyone that works is going to experience burnout at one time or another. My dad is a cardiologist, and he’s very successful and he’s been working for many years and is absolutely in love with his job, but that doesn’t mean everyday is his favorite.

Another thing that I find useful is to constantly set goals. I was pretty burnout during Covid, because I didn’t really feel like there was anything I was working towards. Having that big outcome goal in the future really helps lay the blueprint for the day to day things that I am working on. For instance, if I want to take a horse to Maryland in the fall, I work backwards and decide not just what events I am going to do, but also how I am going to be able to perform the best at those events. So then that keeps me motivated because everything feels like it has purpose as you are building toward a performance.

I will admit that sometimes once the event has come and past, I struggle with the letdown but recently I’ve been better about giving myself and my horses some time off to relax and regroup. I think it’s hard to stay motivated when you don’t know what you’re working towards, so I always go back to goals.

When I’m really burnt out physically, mentally or maybe I’m just sick, I also remind myself that sometimes the horses are better off getting lunged for a day. Obviously there will be times that you need to go to the barn no matter what, and that’s fine — but sometimes it is better to not push through. I think the horses can tell if you’re enjoying it or not too, so taking care of your mental health is important.

Jenny Caras and Fernhill Fortitude during the dressage phase, Mitsubishi Motors Badminton Horse Trials, Gloucestershire, 2019. Photo by Nico Morgan Media.

What advice do you have for someone in the sport who’s currently facing adversity?

Surround yourself with good people and good friends that you can count. I think that’s always straightforward when it comes to the horses; you want the best farrier, the best trainer, the best vet.

It’s the same for humans, you need to surround yourself with people that help you and lead you in the right way. Both in and out of horses. I also think that knowing that everybody’s gone through it is comforting as well. You’re not the only one that’s ever felt that way, and no matter how bad you feel now, it will improve. Keep persevering and keep going because it’s a hard sport and, there’s a lot of knocks, so celebrate the good times and lean into your support system during the bad.

Looking at Jenny in the photos of Strzegom, you can’t see someone who has struggled with confidence. You can’t see all the physical hurdles that she went through in a short period and you certainly can’t see the hours of hard work that she put into working with a Sport Psychologist to set effective goals, manage fears and develop the ability to focus in high pressure settings. You just see the smiles and the ribbons. And that’s OK, just remember that when you see some else’s success, there’s a story behind it.

Between the Ears with Jennie Saville

It seems like these days we look at each other’s lives through the lens of a highlight reel. We get to see the incredible trips, the best jumps, and the moments that we’re proud enough of to put on social media. What we don’t talk about is how much pressure this adds to athletes on both ends of the news feed.

Riders, whether professional or not, are made to feel like they ‘have to’ post something that makes them look cool and successful. Then, as we consume this content, we are stuck with the disillusioned perception that the sport is easy and that if you’re not succeeding, then maybe you aren’t cut out for it. I would like to take this opportunity to go ‘between the ears’ of some of the riders that make up our Eventing Nation and work to understand some of the real challenges this industry presents.

To read more from the Between the Ears series, click here.

Jennie Saville and Stella Artois. Photo by Tilly Berendt.

As a Certified Mental Performance Consultant, I am privy to hearing the journeys of riders from different disciplines at different stages in their career. Working on this series for Eventing Nation has given me even more insight into what riders at the top of this sport are feeling and experiencing — and it’s been awesome. Awesome to hear how open riders are about sharing the ins and outs of all the hard things that we rarely see on social media. Awesome to have readers reach out and tell me how the article helped them with something that they were struggling with.

This edition of Between the Ears is going to be a little bit different because I was on the sidelines witnessing and experiencing many of these events along with Jennie. When we sat down to do the interview for this article, we both marveled at the fact that this is the first time that we’ve had a chance to really reflect on the hardships and successes that we faced together. I know that I’ve learned a lot from Jennie and I hope that by writing this article, you guys can learn from her journey too.

Jennie Brannigan and FE Lifestyle. Photo by Tilly Berendt.

Before we get ahead of ourselves, let’s hear about how it all started…

“I got my start in riding in this little town in Illinois, just doing trail riding at a local barn. I ended up taking some lessons and doing some endurance riding. One day, I heard about three-day eventing — and I know this sounds crazy because I laugh when people say things like this, but I swear I heard about it, and I was like, ‘That’s what I should do for a living.’ And I remember having the paper omnibus in my hand and just thinking it was the coolest thing in the world even though I didn’t know what it was.”

Jennie followed this dream, and her intuition and eventually found her horse of a lifetime, Cooper. In 2008, Jennie won the Young Rider Championship on Cooper and just a year later was sent overseas to do her very first CCI4*-L competition at Bramham. “Cooper won a lot. And because of that, I had all this false confidence and put a lot of pressure on myself,” Jennie says. At Bramham, the pair was first after the dressage, but after picking up a 20 on cross country, they dropped out of the top placings.

Jennie recalls the experience as a big hit to her confidence:

“When I had that 20 at Bramham, it felt like my world was over, which is silly to think about now. Perspective is crazy, but when you get a taste of success and winning, it’s easy to become obsessed with it. At the time, it was this huge loss for me and now my time with Cooper is just a fraction of my career and I bet a ton of people don’t even know who he was.”

Fast forward 12 years and dozens of horses later and we arrive in another confidence-testing time for Jennie, where I just so happen to be along for the ride.

Jennie Brannigan and Stella Artois. Photo by Sally Spickard.

After the challenges we all faced in 2020, 2021 was looking to be an exciting year for multiple reasons. Plans that were put on hold became “full steam ahead” and we had Stella Artois (Toddie) and FE Lifestyle (Foxy) on track to do their first 5* at the Kentucky. The spring season leading up to Kentucky did not come without its challenges (because…horses) but we arrived in Kentucky ready. Unfortunately, after Foxy put in an incredible cross country round, Toddie went down in the water in a seemingly “freak accident” kind of fall. With Jennie and Toddie both OK, we were soon thereafter making arrangements to give it another go at Luhmühlen, a little over six weeks later. After a misjudged distance and a fall for Jennie early on in the course, Toddie’s 5* status was yet again put on hold.

“That was a time where I felt most defeated,” Jennie explains. “I remember going up to Erik (Duvander) and saying ‘This horse deserves to be famous, I think Boyd should ride her’ and I was questioning my abilities. And then there was so much other stuff going on in our lives, it felt like a really difficult spot to pull out of. But Erik has always been there believing in me. Even after Luhmühlen, I was put on the Boekelo team with Foxy and he selected me to be the anchor of the team and I thought ‘Wow, why? He still believes in me? That’s crazy.’ And then I was in a position where I needed to go clean for the team and I did and Erik said to me ‘This is the rider you are, this is the real you’ and I swear, ever since then I’ve been completely different.”

Coming off the high of Boekelo, Jennie and I flew back to the States and headed immediately to the 2021 Maryland 5 Star, where Toddie not only completed for the first time but did it in style with a fourth place finish.

Jennie’s ability to keep moving forward through hard times has always impressed me. As a student of Sport Psychology, I’ve always stopped to wonder “how?” How do you find the confidence within yourself to continue to get back out there with past failures staring you in the face? How are you not afraid? How can you turn it around and be so successful?

But I know how because I watched it. I was a fly on the wall for almost every lesson that Jennie took, and I don’t think Erik had anything truly negative to say. He never criticized weakness, he simply helped support, encourage, and find solutions. I think that style of coaching helped Jennie to let go of the need to win and refocus on the steps she needed to take to be successful — ironic isn’t it? The more we latch onto the outcome the further and further away we get from what we are supposed to be doing.

Jennie Brannigan and Twilightslastgleam. Photo by Tilly Berendt.

In many ways, Jennie has kept the momentum of 2021 going, adding Twlightslastgleam (Comic), an OTTB with just about every physical limitation betting against him, to her 5* roster — but unfortunately in this game, there are always bumps in the road. One of the most recent bumps came in the form of Toddie breaking down just a few fences from home at Kentucky this year. Toddie is now happily recovering at the Gardners’ farm in Chester County, PA — but obviously, that event was an emotional one. Jennie shared with me some of her thoughts on the situation:

“For me, one of the biggest obstacles in eventing is loving these horses and caring about them and having something happen where they get hurt and you kind of have to just be tough enough to keep on going. With Toddie, I couldn’t even go on the ambulance with her because I still had to get on and ride Foxy, and that takes some real compartmentalization for me because I am an extremely sensitive person. But once the heat of the moment is passed and I’ve done what I need to do, I want to be able to talk about it.

“I feel like these things happen and so many people just say ‘this is a tough sport’ and you end up not talking about it. But I don’t think it’s something we should ignore. When Toddie swapped leads twice on course, I didn’t think twice about the fact that I had to pull her up. I think so close to home that if you’re so focused on winning or finishing, it would be easy to just keep going. I’m not sure the old me would have made the decision to pull her up and I have no doubt in my mind that Toddie would have tried to keep going, but you have to be a horseman first.

“We can’t ignore the realities of the sport and horses do get hurt, but if it’s happening to you all the time, I think you have to ask where your priorities are. I know competing is about winning, and don’t get me wrong, I still love winning but the result on paper doesn’t tell the whole story. You could be winning every single horse trial on the calendar but sacrificing horsemanship to do it, and I think that horsemanship should count into how successful you feel.

Jennie Saville and Pascal claim victory in Montana. Photo by Shannon Brinkman Photography.

“The reality is we’re going to spend more time in this sport losing than we are winning — and that counts for riders like Michael Jung too. Being a good boss, taking time off to ensure you don’t get burnt out, and listening to what your horse needs should all be a part of what ‘winning’ means to you. Pulling up Toddie was a win because she’s a friend and partner to me regardless of if she ever crosses the finish flag at an event again. Heck, even finishing seventeenth place on Comic was a win, because I know he tried his heart out. Yes, you want to win, but ask yourself ‘What else is going on in my life and with my horses?’

“Being honest with yourself is an important quality to have. If you make a mistake, you have to own up to it instead of making an excuse or lying to yourself about it. I don’t feel like any less of a rider because I can admit that Tamie Smith is better at dressage than me – it just makes me want to learn from her and it inspires me to be better, so I have her teach me.

“I’ve found this sort of in-between space, where things like Comic having a pin at Kentucky or FE Connery slipping between fences at Rebecca Farm don’t faze me like that 20 I had at Bramham so many years ago — but at the same time, I’m always working to make my horses the best they can possibly be. Winning has become a byproduct of that mindset, not my only obsession or source of self-worth.”

It’s OK to set big audacious goals — we’re naturally inclined to. But when you feel yourself struggling or falling short of what you set out to accomplish, you have to be able to pause and think about what’s really important. Chances are, it’s already right in front of you.

Between the Ears with Meg Kepferle

It seems like these days we look at each other’s lives through the lens of a highlight reel. We get to see the incredible trips, the best jumps, and the moments that we’re proud enough of to put on social media. What we don’t talk about is how much pressure this adds to athletes on both ends of the news feed.

Riders, whether professional or not, are made to feel like they ‘have to’ post something that makes them look cool and successful. Then, as we consume this content, we are stuck with the disillusioned perception that the sport is easy and that if you’re not succeeding, then maybe you aren’t cut out for it. I would like to take this opportunity to go ‘between the ears’ of some of the riders that make up our Eventing Nation and work to understand some of the real challenges this industry presents.

To read more from the Between the Ears series, click here.

Meg Kepferle and Anakin. Photo by Abby Powell.

Megan Kepferle (you may know her as Meg Kep) started eventing as a kid. Despite being at a hunter jumper barn, she watched a VHS tape of Karen and David O’Connor and fell in love with the sport. Inspired, she did her first event with absolutely no preparation — and won!

With curiosity piqued, and an interest in finding more opportunities, Meg moved overseas after college to work with a British 5-star rider, where she quickly realized how much she didn’t know. Returning to the States (kicking and screaming with an expired visa) Meg went to DC to work a “real person” job, but when the economy crashed and everyone (including Meg) lost those DC jobs, she was forced to reevaluate.

Knowing that she wasn’t quite good enough at the time to be a professional rider, she took a job teaching at a lesson barn in New Jersey — and the doors started to open up from there. It was in New Jersey that Meg met Doug Payne, with whom she took her first position as a groom. While working for Doug, Meg was introduced to Sinead Halpin, joined her team, and spent the next six years traveling the world as an international groom.

Meg found herself at another crossroads when her mom passed away. Life events, whether good or bad, force us to change and adapt and Meg did just that — taking the time of reflection to make the jump from a primary focus of grooming to making a crack as a rider.

Meg now has an Advanced horse, Anakin, and a teaching and training business of her own in New Jersey. Her path hasn’t been straightforward, but she sure has learned a ton of lessons along the way. And with that, let’s go between the ears…

Megan Kepferle and Anakin. Photo by Abby Powell.

Can you tell me about a time that you lost your confidence in riding or competing and how you worked to overcome it?

“A couple of years ago, I had my first bad in-competition fall off of Anakin, at Morven Park. He’s the kind of horse that always does everything to keep me on his back, so I wasn’t used to falling off of him, and the times I had before it had never really been scary.

It was the year of Covid — and it’s hard to talk about how Covid affected my eventing career when so much was going on it in the world — but I had just hit my stride of feeling confident and planning for the future when it was all interrupted. Going back to compete in the fall, it just felt like I had lost a lot of momentum and I wasn’t quite as sharp. I had made it almost all the way around a very hard track and at the last combination, an angled brush combination, I rode exactly the way I wanted to and had planned to. I was wrong. Anakin added a stride, hit the jump and I went flying. The injury itself wasn’t terrible — I broke some ribs, dislocated my shoulder, and broke my coracoid process, which I had never even heard of — but it was very painful.

“Despite my injuries, I still contemplated trying to make it to Tryon the following month. I had always been around riders that break their bones and then are back at it two weeks later competing at the Advanced level — but I couldn’t. I couldn’t even contemplate holding a rein, let alone going over a jump. And that affected me, because I try so hard to be tough but it just wasn’t happening. So now, what was supposed to be the most exciting year of my career ended up being an off year, and then coming into the next season, my horse got hurt too.

“With all the time off, I started to fixate on my fall and I was struggling with why it had even happened in the first place. I was showing everyone the video and obsessing over this one incident. Eventually, I decided to reach out to a Sports Psychologist whom I had met with when I was moving to the Advanced level because I didn’t know how to stop obsessing on my own. I told her it was ruining my confidence, my outlook on the future, everything. And she worked with me on how to replay the memory of how I would have ridden if I hasn’t made the mistake, and that was hard, but ultimately effective. I came to the jump too slow, and I was almost overprepared. I learned the hard way that at this level, you can’t micromanage, you have to trust. So I spent the next summer jumping one-stride angles with a loopy rein and teaching my brain to trust that my horse has got it.

“I only have one horse going Advanced, so building up confidence is hard because I can’t just jump him whenever I want to. I think the whole experience really taught me a lot about trusting the process and when I went to Kentucky this spring, I actually felt prepared and confident — and that’s after four years at Advanced with the same horse. I still struggle with imposter syndrome — even though I know I’m going Advanced, I don’t identify as an upper-level rider and I don’t always feel like I belong at the table. I made a lot of friends in eventing as a groom and they’ve been amazing at making me feel like an equal even when I don’t see myself as one.”

Meg and Manoir de Carneville. Photo by Sally Spickard.

Can you tell me about a time you’ve been burnout?

“I think burnout has manifested in different ways. When I was a groom, it would hit me in a more physical sense — the job was very physical and very stressful because everything I did affected Sinead directly and I took that very seriously. I think that kind of burnout requires you to have conversations attached to purpose and luckily Sinead was always open to those conversations.

“When you’re an employee, you want to do a good job, so it can be hard to open up about bigger picture things, like ‘can I financially afford this lifestyle?’ and, ‘do I want to do it forever?’. I make it very clear to my workers at the beginning that I want them there because they enjoy their jobs — but it’s going to change. What motivates you in your early 20s isn’t going to motivate you when you’re 25, 35, or 45. Facing that stuff can be very emotional when you don’t know if you want to be where you are.

“Now I don’t think I get so emotional when I’m burnt out because I know that I am doing what I want to. I did an office job for about six weeks between grooming and going off on my own and it was terrible. So now instead of asking myself ‘Is this what I am supposed to be doing?’, I ask ‘What do I need to do to find inspiration again?’

Inspiration is a muscle that you need to exercise — it’s the fuel that keeps us going. The day-to-day can be mundane and boring but you can always actively seek sources of inspiration.”

Meg Kepferle and Anakin. Photo by Shelby Allen.

Can you tell me about another challenge you’re currently facing in the industry?

“On paper, I’m following a decent business model — I teach a ton of lessons and I have a reasonable number of horses in training. I’ve always been good at learning how to make things work financially, but it feels like this year has been really tough. I applied for a grant to go to Rebecca Farm, and I got it but I had to turn it down because I still wasn’t able to make the numbers work.

“I’ve always been the kind of person to take an opportunity, jump in with two feet and figure it out later — but I can’t do that this time because I didn’t properly plan for it. I think I’m at the point in my career where I’m going to have to sell a horse or two to keep going. I’ve never wanted to do that but I guess everyone does at some point. I get so attached to my horses, and while I’ve been lucky enough to have people help me buy them, I have to pay most of the expenses. People don’t talk about the fact that it can cost $50,000 to $100,000 a year to keep a horse going at the upper levels, especially one that is older and needs some maintenance. I have no regrets about spending the money I did to get the chance to ride at Kentucky this year, but I guess you can’t turn around and do it again and again and again without the other side of things coming in. My goal would be to have several FEI horses in the future and I’m still wrapping my head around how to make that possible.”

Meg Kep and Anakin. Photo by Jenni Autry.

What advice would you give to someone in the sport that is currently facing adversity?

“Everyone struggles. It’s part of being an athlete just as much as it’s part of being human. You have to get a little bit comfortable with being uncomfortable. If you go around thinking that the bad stuff only happens to you and nobody else, you’re going to be very unhappy in this sport.

“It’s easy to feel like your walls are closing in and everyone else is doing an amazing job, but I promise if you ask people around you, they’re going to be able to relate. Everyone sees the good and they don’t think the bad happens too. Those big moments are a very small part of this and they can’t be your only motivator because they don’t happen enough to sustain happiness. Enjoy the journey because each day is a challenge; financially, mentally, and physically.

“Adversity is part of the lifestyle and some days are going to be harder. Get creative. Learn. Pivot. Learn new skills and lean on your peers for guidance when needed. If you’re aiming for the sun, the closer you get, the hotter it is.

In the horse industry, I think it’s easy to get attached to the idea that there’s only one way to the top. It can feel like the second you have a setback or a failure you’re not cut out for it or you’re never going to make it.

Meg identified inspiration as a cure for burnout, but honestly, I believe that inspiration goes deeper than that. If you’re grooming at a five-star with the thought in the back of your mind that says “I could do this too one day”, that inspiration becomes part of your journey. You can constantly change, adapt and grow in this industry so long as you are inspired to do so.

When I was a young groom, I went to Meg’s birthday party at The Fork, and they played a slide show of all the amazing experiences Meg had had grooming for Sinead. That inspired me. This stuff is contagious, so if we can stay open and connect about how to get through the tough stuff, we can also continue to inspire each other to create opportunities for each other in the future!

Dr. Tyler Held EdD CMPC is a professional groom and Certified Mental Performance Consultant. You may have seen her over the last few years working for International 5* Jennie Brannigan or listened to an episode of her podcast, The Whole Equestrian.

Tyler started riding in summer camp at the age of 5 and essentially never looked back. She obtained her Undergraduate degrees in Animal Science and Equine Business Management from the University of Findlay in 2014. During this time, she spent her summers doing her first working student job at an eventing barn and quickly became obsessed with the sport. After experiencing some mental blocks in her own riding, she decided to focus more on grooming and learning more about Sport Psychology. In 2017 she moved to Chester County, PA to work as a Vet Tech and groom for Dr. Kevin Keane, which opened a lot of doors in the eventing community.

Just as she finished her Master’s Degree in Sport and Performance Psychology, she took the reins at Brannigan Eventing as head groom. Now partially retired from grooming, Tyler is focusing on growing her consulting business, Thought Quest Mental Performance Solutions, and helping Equestrian athletes navigate the mental challenges that come with the sport.