This past weekend I did something outside the norm, I actually left the farm for several days. And, no, I didn’t travel south of Tamarack to South Strafford, Vt. I actually left the state altogether! We went to Rhode Island for a wedding. We departed on a Friday morning and came home early Sunday evening. It was a quick, but relaxing vacation. And yes, 48 hours does constitute a vacation.
In fact, anything beyond two days and I become anxious, and the thought of lounging around for an undetermined amount of time seems daunting. Not to mention, the words “vacation” and “appetite” are synonymous. In other words, one cannot vacation accordingly without stuffing ones face, which is another reason why vacations are tedious and less appealing after a while.
Back to my vacation. Rett and I woke up early Saturday morning to enjoy a cup of coffee outside out hotel, which was located right on the beach. The sun was rising. There was not a person or cloud in sight. The waves were rolling in, and the atmosphere was perfection. We sat there in silence while being hypnotized by the infinite blanket of water right in front of us.
There’s something so captivating about the tranquility yet eeriness that the ocean embodies. In the midst of my ocean coma, I looked up for a second and saw a single man walk straight towards the ocean. Evidently he was on a mission, and I was not going to stop watching him for one moment. “He’s actually going to do it,” I thought to myself. “I cannot believe it … it’s FREEZING out …there’s no way he’s going to actually jump right … YES, he’s going swimming.”
The man who walked straight towards the ocean and without one single bat of an eye dove right in made an impression on me. I thought about how if you’re going to do something, sometimes you just have to dive right in and do it. And at times, even, just shut up and do it! Obviously this got me thinking about our sport and how there are countless unknown variables which make eventing daunting, dangerous and downright frightening at times. There are risks, deaths, hardships and yet we volunteer ourselves because why?
I am a rider because I absolutely love horses and cannot imagine my life any other way. It’s just the way I am wired; it’s in my soul. I have been riding for the majority of my life, and this is the sport that I latched into. Of course I understand the risk involved and acknowledge and accept these risks.
I know that I could die the next time I leave the start box. I also know that I could die from going on a trail ride at home. I don’t lose sleep about dying every single day because I wouldn’t be able to function. But, yes, at the end of the day, this is a high risk sport we are partaking in.
I think one of the hardest things for me in eventing is trusting myself as a rider and my abilities, and trusting my horse all in one instance. There’s always that what if factor looming like low clouds in the horizon, but if we are prepared and feel confident enough then we ought to be able to jump right in and trust ourselves and our horses. What if I miss my distance and my horse stops? What if we both flip over that table? What if I can’t get him back before that combination? What if, what if, what if?
These unknown variables are always going to be a constant. The risk factors are unavoidable even for the best riders in the world. Something either has happened to someone and their horse, or it will happen to someone and their horse. Being prepared and gaining confidence over several years helps ease my thoughts towards these unknown variables. Will something horrible happen to me or a horse I am riding at some point in time?
Undoubtedly so, but becoming fixated on such a question is not productive. If you could stare into a glass ball only to read your future and the date of your death, would you want to see that information, and if so, why would you? For me, right now in this moment in time, I would like to just dive right in. Eventing is what I want to be doing and risks aside, we either have to jump in and give it a whirl or sit on the sidelines and forever wonder. For me, it’s a no-brainer!
