Someone who we will just say is a well known eventing personality has sent us a humorous look at why the new USEF and USEA helmet rules make sense. Said individual asked to be called “Dr. Siderein” to protect their true and super-secret identity. Thanks for writing this Dr. Siderein and thank you for reading.
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From Dr. Siderein:
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From Dr. Siderein:
FOR IMMEDIATE COMIC RELEASE (RELIEF)!!!
It has come to this author’s attention that there is much confusion about the wearing of protective headgear when competing, or even just being on a show grounds. I have looked into the matter very dilegently, including the use of my thesaurus and dictionary, and have finally come up with, what I condiser, THE definitive interpretation of those RULES WRITERS at the USEF and FEI……here it is……
MY MAIN IDEA: We do want to protect riders when they are on horseback, so putting on a helmet makes sense….no matter how old you are, what division you are in, or whatever…As NIKE used to propose: JUST DO IT
However, there are those who want to use lawyer-eese, so here the top 10 new interpretations (according to me):
10) If you drive a dually from out of state, when arriving to check in with the office or stable manager, you must have a required helmet on and chin strap attached.
9) If you have a dog smaller than your horse, you must have a required helmet on, except if you have a Jack Russell…then all bets are OFF….. your owners and family should wear the helmet AND protective gloves.
8) If you ride an Irish TB that was born no earlier than 2002, you must wear the helmet. If your Irish TB is older than that (as of December of this past year) and is a stallion or a mare (chestnut), then you do not have to wear that helmet…your groom does, especially when braiding.
7) If you ride a Selle Francais….you must wear traditional headgear with a flashy scarf!!
6) If you are a YR or JR rider in any division, and you have not thanked your parents in the last hour for helping you do what you do, then you must wear a dunce cap…and still YOU must wear the protective helmut AT ALL TIMES…this just makes sense.
5) If you are not a YR or JR and you are competing in Training level all the way through Advanced (except the YR , JR divisions….you can’t be in those, cuz you are WAY TOO OLD) you must wear the helmet, with chinstrap attached, velcro britches, and use Pony Club safety neck straps.
4) If you have a reader, for any level, at a dressage schooling show he/she must wear the helmet (without any radio trasmitting device attached).
3) If you are on the show grounds, in the stables, tents, warm up areas, grazing your horse, lunging, mucking out, braiding, parking your truck or van, backing up the aforementioned dually (reason #10 above), or even getting coffee from the trade fair, you must have a helmet on. However, it does not need to be secured when buying the coffee…we will give you a break (coffee!!) there.
2) If you complain to management about anything that pertains to the show (especially the footing) YOU MUST HAVE A SECURED HELMET ON….cuz we are not responsible for any reactions that may cause injury to you or anyone near you…..
AND THE #1 REASON TO WEAR A PROTECTIVE HELMET WHILE RIDING IS:
1) Young or old, good or bad, male or female, warming up or competing, on the show grounds OR at home….JUST DO IT. Hat hair is the new fashion statement of a TRUE EVENT RIDER.
I hope you all have a good laugh and I promise to try to get all your names and horse’s names correct in 2011.
