The Budweiser Clydesdales are backkkkk! Budweiser’s 2022 Super Bowl spot has dropped, and once again the beer brand’s beloved mascots are taking center stage. And they’re making worse life decisions than ever, which as a fellow horse person is 10/10 relatable.
Also relatable, trying to drown your sorrows with beer because (1) not only is your horse is broken but also (2) your vet has that pitying look in her eye that says she’s about to hand you a monster invoice, which means for sure that (3) you’re never going to be able to afford a nice craft IPA again.
We’ve all been there, Mr. Hot Sad Cowboy Guy! DM me if you need to talk.
Just when it seemed all was lost, though, aforementioned critically injured Clydesdale busts out of his stall and takes off buck-farting across the frozen winter ground.
I have questions.
Since we last witnessed this horse shred a tendon not 40 seconds ago, was there a video time lapse in which Hot Sad Cowboy has been sweating, magnet-ing, shock waving and shooting stem cells into this leg followed by a tediously gradual process of physical rehab? Have they been building up gradually for months, starting with two-minute handwalks, building up strength on an underwater treadmill, enduring the vet-prescribed slow torture of pulling a wagon loaded on day 1 with just one lonely can of Budweiser, then two, then three, etc. as not to cause re-injury? And now he is truly recovered and ready, in body and soul, to let it rip?
Or, on day two of stall rest, is this horse just doubling down on self-destruction, soon to be discovered when he pulls up three-legged lame, and Hot Sad Cowboy has to call out the vet … again.
I guess we’ll have to wait until Super Bowl 2023 to find out.
