This is my happiness defined.
There is a phenomenon on social media right now that called the 100 Happy Days Challenge, and if you’re on Facebook or Twitter, you’ll notice that more and more people are participating. So what’s the deal with this thing? As proposed by the founding website, the challenge is this: “We live in times when super-busy schedules have become something to boast about. While the speed of life increases, there is less and less time to enjoy the moment that you are in. The ability to appreciate the moment, the environment and yourself in it, is the base for the bridge towards long term happiness of any human being.”
To me, that seems like a pretty accurate assessment of almost everybody I know. My generation is probably the worst offender, as we run around from place to place doing more work than we can handle and rarely get the chance to stop and smell the roses, so to speak. We all have a variety of “first world problems” that absolutely plague us every day, and we feel as though they are never ending. Our ability to appreciate the small victories and let happiness win over all the trivial disappointments is lessened every day, and certainly not to our own benefit.
My good friend Kristin Carpenter recently wrote a really excellent blog on perspective, called How To Win At Losing. Exceptionally good at keeping her sense of humor no matter what the situation, Kristin recently had a competition where all three of her phases left something to be desired. We all know what that weekend feels like, and it feels like crap. You feel deflated, disappointed in yourself, angry with your horse, angry at the course designer, upset with the dressage judge or mad at the weather. But here’s the rub: No matter if you’re a professional or an amateur, you are without a doubt absurdly privileged just to be competing. Period.
Happy moment #2,553: Getting on a baby for the first time and walking her around with no fuss.
Living in the horse world basically guarantees that you are plagued by disappointments, problems, setbacks and other daily aggravations. There’s nothing like a horse stepping on a stone two days before his event and immediately becoming crippled to raise your blood pressure. But here’s how to survive the seemingly nonstop onslaught of negative phenomenon: Challenge yourself to find at least one happy moment per day. In the theme of 100 Happy Days, look for an experience, a beautiful view, one perfect jump, a single perfect canter transition, five minutes of peace and quiet in the barn with the sound of munching or even just the smell of horse on you as you head home.
We all wonder how the upper-level professionals mentally deal with the horrible and sometimes unthinkable disappointments they experience on a regular basis. How did Boyd bounce back from his barn fire? Or Silva from her riding accident? What about all of those who have lost horses just this spring? To me, the only way to overcome these terrible things is to have the ability to find happy moments, no matter what your overall situation. To find joy in the small things, to appreciate every second that you can, even if you are currently frustrated by the fact that your horse won’t jump that ditch.
I challenge each and every one of you to change the way you frame your disappointments, both publicly and privately. Instead of saying, “My horse was so bad! He schooled all these jumps at home and when I went to the show he spooked sideways and I got eliminated,” you could think about it from another perspective. Maybe your horse wasn’t feeling well that day, or the lighting was legitimately scary around the jumps. Perhaps the footing made him feel insecure in his balance, or in fact your riding wasn’t up to par. Find a positive element to each negative, and point it out to yourself and others. “While we did get eliminated, he was incredible over the first five fences, and he got his tricky lead on the flat, so that was great improvement.”
Yesterday, I successfully sat on an un-broke 4-year-old filly that I’ve had for less than a week, and we walked around for maybe five minutes. I was just as enthralled with this as I am with finishing a three-star course, because to me, each one is precious and exciting. I love going on hacks and looking at the same mountains every day, because each time it’s just a little bit different and a little more beautiful.
People who have tried the 100 Happy Days Challenge have reported that they have a greater ability to notice what makes them happy every day; they are generally in a better mood, they become more optimistic and they finally realize how lucky they are to have the life that they do. So what’s to lose? Find your happiness, and share it with us, Eventing Nation!
