3 Things From the Rolex Trade Fair Your Significant Other Might Kill You For Buying

In the market for a divorce? You’ve come to the right place!

The Rolex Trade Fair is America’s #1 destination for blowing stupid amounts of money on horse stuff. If your significant other made the fatal error of sending you off to Kentucky with his/her credit card, even better!

Even better … until they see that credit card statement.

Here are some “investments” to get you started:

First — and we’ve all been guilty of this one, amirght? — you could purchase some tack you can’t really afford but really, really want. I mean, NEED.

Her: “But I really think Foxy’s other jump saddle is a centimeter too narrow.”

The Liberty Jump Saddle by Bliss of London. Choose from dozens of Swarovski crystal colors to custom bling it out. Totally worth $4,500.

Or would I rather get busy with this $4,465 Stubben Optimum de Luxe? It’s the same model Boyd Martin rides in. Tough call.

But let’s get real here: that’s all amateur hour — spending a few thousand piddly dollars on a hunk of leather is hardly grounds for spousicide. If you really want to send your significant other over the edge, you’ve got to go big or go home.

Him: “Now I know why she insisted we drive the truck to Rolex this year.”

No truck? No problem!

This Equine Motorcoach is an all-in-one RV and horse transport, and it comes complete with all the bells and whistles you might expect for $140,000: an outside entertainment with TV, camera system, hydraulic haylift …

$140,000 … meh. They’ll get over it.

There is one post-Rolex conversation, however, that NOBODY wants to have with their significant other. And it starts with, “Honey, I need to tell you something. I just bought another…”

I swear to God I didn’t even stage this photo. The poor dude was just standing there, cringing, and I couldn’t resist.

Mic drop.

OK, Eventing Nation, confession time: What’s the most relationship-endangering Rolex Trade Fair purchase you’ve ever made? Share in the comments!

Go Eventing.