This is how we all feel about moving south
It’s that magical time of the year again…..the tingling feeling in your boots when you realize it’s almost time for you to throw everything you own in the back of your truck and smoosh your horses in the trailer with stacks of hay and take that trek to the sandy southern lands. While some of us have already packed up and left the winter weather, the majority of us snowbirds still have a few weeks before the departure date. The mystical allure of Aiken is calling, and my countdown starts today: T minus two weeks! I’ve dug up my yearly checklist for preparing to spend a few weeks in the southern lands, and I’m here to share it with you.
Tip #1: Always pack your warmest clothing, and don’t forget the Carhartts. Somehow, we always expect the weather to be instantly and categorically warmer. While this is probably true if you’re travelling from Vermont, I find myself constantly disappointed as I come from relatively nearby Virginia. While ideally you imagine yourself riding in t-shirts in January, that only happens 1 out of every 7 days. The coldest I have ever been in my life was at Pine Top one year, and I’m pretty sure I was wearing every piece of clothing that I owned. Picture the character Ralphie from “A Christmas Story.”
Tip #2: Buy a sand colic supplement. Seriously though, is it worth risking a sand colic because your horse is a moron and eats dirt? The answer you’re looking for is no. Especially with the fact that we have to feed hay outside all the time due to the lack of grass in the south, your horse is at a greater risk of ingesting sand and causing a problem. My horses are pigs, and you can be guaranteed that they snarf and scrounge around for the last little bits of hay. I like Sand Clear, it’s tasty for picky eaters, affordable, and you only have to feed it for one week a month. Easy peasy.
Tip #3: If the price of your housing seems too good to be true…it probably is. My first year in Aiken, I managed to get what was supposed to be a cute cabin with two bedrooms, a pull out couch, a bathroom, laundry, kitchen and living room with two of my friends. We arrived to notice that it’s a little bedraggled looking, but it was like $150 each per month…so whatever. Then the heating didn’t work. We all slept in one bed for warmth. One cold morning, about a week into our habitation, we awoke to find a broken window and something that looked suspiciously like poop smeared on the walls, and dripped through the house, and out the back door which was wide open. We all freaked out, and then went to our respective barns. Later that day, a deputy and his crew determined that the substance was in fact opossum poop, and he figured that our cabin was previously inhabited by hobos, and they broke in while we were sleeping and tried to scare us out of the house so they could have it back (it worked). Moral of the story? Spend an extra $100 to not sleep in a scary poop-smeared hobo shack.
Tip #4: Frequent TakoSushi and Maria’s religiously. If you somehow have been to Aiken before and managed to live like a hermit, you may have missed the memo about TakoSushi and Maria’s. I hope you like sushi and mexican food, because that’s about all there is folks. Not only is the food delicious (and the cocktails delightful) but you will always manage to run into at least 10 other Eventers while you’re there, which usually results in a party full of hungry, dirty, loud horse people. Aka, fun.
Tip #5: Master parking your 350 dually in parking spaces fit for a Prius. Downtown Aiken is beautiful and quaint, but it sure is a pain in the butt when you’re trying to wheel your absurdly large truck around searching for a parking spot on a popular Saturday night. Practice your parking skills prior to arrival.
Tip #6: Hotel Aiken. Wednesday night. Karaoke. Seriously though. Who wouldn’t want to watch slightly intoxicated upper level eventers singing Gangster’s Paradise or a recent Ke$ha song?
With these tips at hand, your travels to Aiken are sure to be successful…as long as you remember all of the other important things, like how to ride properly, and not fall off at the show. I’ll be bringing you weekly updates from the road about all of the scandals and the competitions that I witness during Aiken 2013!
