Photo by Emma Young.

I was listening to the song “Moments Like This” by The Afters and I realized how important the small moments are. The big important things in life are how we often define our lives. We let our jobs and our schools and our accomplishments define us. We always think that we will be satisfied if we can reach just one level higher, score just two places better, get a horse that will take us just that much farther. We do everything in our power to reach these big goals. While these big moments are important and they do in a way define our lives, I think that the small moments are what truly matter the most.

Looking back on the four years I got to spend with my last horse I don’t reflect on the years of dressage scores in the 40s. I don’t reflect on how many ribbons were won or lost. The moments I think of first aren’t even the ones that I thought were most important at the time. The moment that I think about is the foxhunt that he took off with me and I had no brakes. I think about the night I found out my Grandma had passed and I found him in his field and just hugged him. I think about the early morning before the Blessing of the Hounds spent making his braids look as perfect as I could. I think about the moment that I finally got him over the ditch in a clinic. I think about some of our bareback rides. I think about hacking him back to the barn after a cross country round at Tryon just enjoying nature and being so thankful he was my horse.

Photo by Emma Young.

I had the most amazing working student experience. When I reflect on it now I think of some of the big moments, but not first. First I think about when I finally figured out lead changes on a canter set. I think about the moments spent hacking horses down the road listening to music. I think about dinners at the local Mexican restaurant. I think about grabbing milkshakes with other working students after a busy day. I think about watching Pau on a live stream at a jumper show. The big moments were super important and mattered a lot to my experience, but they weren’t what made my day like the small ones.

The big moments are what we post about on social media. They are what we tell everyone about. But so many of our most special moments haven’t been captured on camera. Typically these moments aren’t even big enough to talk about, but they make our lives whole. It’s like a moment at my last show: I was in the back of the cross country field with only the jump judge to see, but suddenly everything just felt like it clicked as we navigated a ditch, a brush, and a bank. I’ll remember the feeling forever even without a video.

Photo by Emma Young.

It’s the moments when I almost fall off and then have the best flat ride ever. It’s when I miss to a fence and the horse I’m riding saves me. It’s when something finally clicks between me and my new horse. It’s the moments spent in the stall after cross country icing my horse’s legs. It’s the moments spent hand walking a horse at a show. It’s the beautiful sunrises I’ve gotten to experience.

I have big goals. I want to event at least to Prelim someday. I want to be a leader of some kind of a foxhunting club someday. I want to qualify for the AECs. I want to win a few shows. I want to be able to ride any horse I get on well.

However, it’s the small moments on my way to achieving those goals that make life. It’s the quiet moments I’ll spend hand-grazing my horse. It’s the hours I’ll spend watching others ride. It’s the jump schools where everything will click all at once. It’s the lunches spent with my mentors. It’s the hacks with my friends. It’s the small moments. It’s like the song says, “We live for moments like this.”

Photo by Emma Young.

There’s a silver lining to everything. At the time some things seem like the worst thing ever. Your horse comes up lame right before the show, you lose your job, you lose someone close to you … or maybe there’s a worldwide pandemic. No matter how awful something is, though, there is almost always a silver lining. This lining is sometimes just easier to find than other times.

Recently everyone’s lives have been changed to some capacity. I remember back in the spring when my whole world felt like it was caving in around me. I was sent home from school, I missed my friends, my family’s jobs were all affected, and everything once normal about life was no longer. It was hard to see any positives about the situation. As time went on things started to appear a little more normal. I was able to find a couple jobs, I started getting some lessons again, and I was able to see a handful of my friends. The world was starting to reopen.

Photo by Barry Jenn Petty.

As the summer progressed I was faced with a shocking reality. While my college said that we were going back to school I knew how quickly they could change their mind. There were so many unknowns about the entire year. I was faced with a choice: go to school and take the risk or take a gap year? I pondered the decision for a while knowing very well how much the decision might affect the rest of my life.

I knew if I was going to take a year off I wanted to do something meaningful with it and my first thought was working student. I had always wanted to be a working student for a summer, but I knew I would get even more out of it if I stayed for a year. I had a list of a few riders I was going to contact about working student positions. I figured I should work for someone I really wanted to if I was going to do this.

While I was finalizing who I should contact, a social media post appeared in my feed looking for a working student (from one of those riders). After several messages and lots of phone tag I had a plan for my year. I contacted my school, packed my bags, said my “see you laters,” and a couple weeks later my horse and I were on our way to Aiken.

In some ways there were more unknowns about this than there was if I went to school. I didn’t know anyone here, I didn’t know where exactly I would be living, I didn’t know where my horse would be living, I didn’t know how they ran their barn. All these things I knew at college. However, I told myself that by doing this I had a plan for this year. That’s something I feared going to college wouldn’t have guaranteed.

This is my silver lining of the entire pandemic. I can’t change what happened and if none of this had ever happened then I wouldn’t be sitting here right now, literally. I would be at school starting my sophomore year. I’d be hanging out with friends and probably worried about my new classes. We would have no idea how normal our lives really were. We would have no idea how lucky we were. But this year isn’t normal.

My silver lining of all the awful things that have happened is that I have the opportunity to be a working student for Doug and Jessica Payne. My silver lining is in just three short weeks my horse and I have already improved more than I ever could have imagined. My silver lining is that because I came here my entire future will be different, both in the irons and out. My silver lining is that while I miss my friends and family and home and school like crazy I never would have known what I’m experiencing right now and I wouldn’t change that for the world.

Photo by Emma Young.

While I have no intention of being a professional I honestly don’t know what I want to do with my life. Ideas of show organizer, marketing department of an equine company, equine journalist, and starting my own company have all been things that have crossed my mind, but I don’t know. This year has given me an extra year to really find that out. It’s given me the opportunity to work with top class riders, grooms, and horses. It’s given me the chance to see so many things up close that I have only ever seen through a screen or from a distance. If you told me only a few months ago some of the things I’ve gotten to do, I’m not sure if I would have believed you.

I am so thankful for the new things I’m learning and people I’m meeting. That’s my silver lining to this dark year we’re living. 2020 may be remembered as a year of pain but my 2020 is going to be the year I truly find my vision and what I want to do. I can’t wait to see all that I learn while I’m here? The best quote I think to describe this year so from Madeline L’Engle: “Maybe you have to know the darkness before you can appreciate the light.” I appreciate the good moments so much more because of the bad. Here’s to 2021 of being a year full of light for everyone!

Emma Young, a freshman Equine Business Major at Otterbein University, rides on her intercollegiate dressage and eventing teams, and also fox hunts. She reflects on this recent turn of events below. View Emma’s previous blog entries here. 

Photo by Emma Young.

Six weeks ago I was in Aiken with my college eventing team. We were showing, cross country schooling, and having the time of our lives with no idea how drastically our lives were about to change. Just one short week later I was home not sure what was going on, when I would be going back to school, or how this would affect my show season. A few days later my school moved all classes online for the remainder of the year and I moved out of my freshman dorm a month and a half early. Along with that news, the remainder of my riding lessons were canceled, my IDA (Intercollegiate Dressage Association) season was done, and I was making arrangements for my horse to leave my college barn.

My heart breaks for those who have had even more loss than me. I feel for fellow classmates and friends who had to leave behind the horses they lease. I’m so sad for the seniors who had planned so much for their last couple months only to have the reality of the end come early. It’s awful that there are so many goals that have been broken and shows that will never be. My heart aches for everyone who has had to leave so much behind.

Photo by Emma Young.

The past month has been a whirlwind of emotions and happenings. Never in my wildest dreams (or nightmares) did I expect my riding season or freshman year of college to end this way. During these weeks I’ve continued to work on my schoolwork, drill my dressage, and most importantly reflect on how I’m never going to take a moment for granted again.

I’m never going to take riding lessons or horse shows for granted again. I’m never going to take car rides and trips to the tack store for granted. I’m going to enjoy every second I can be around horses and people and when we aren’t all six feet apart. I promise I won’t complain about 8 a.m. lectures or nights I’m up until 1 a.m. studying. I’ll just be happy to be at school. I won’t be frustrated with traffic jams or restaurant waits. I won’t complain about having work. I’ll just be happy that business is thriving, that people are out, and that I can make money again.

I promise as things return to normal to remember these times when we lost everything normal about our lives. I won’t forget missing my friends or in person classes. I won’t forget missing lines and stores and traffic. I won’t forget the feeling of not being able to hug those I love or being with my family on Easter. I won’t forget this time when the best way to care for those I love was to stay away from them. Everytime we get to be with loved ones and do something we love we are so lucky.

Photo by Ondine Eardley.

I can’t wait until we can gallop around cross country and ride down the centerline again. I can’t wait until I can see my friends in person and not just on a screen. I can’t wait until there are more social media posts in my feeds about horse shows and celebrations and congratulatory messages than there are about sadness and social distancing. I can’t wait to hug my Grandma, to eat in a crowded cafe, to watch Kentucky in person, to fox hunt, to horse show, to ride with friends, to go to stores, to go to potlucks, to go to school again. Winnie the Pooh once said, “How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” But this isn’t goodbye.

I’ll get to do everything I miss again someday. It might take time for people to hug. It might take time for there to be crowds again. It might take time to financially be able to do everything we did before. It might take some time, but when everything returns to normal and we start complaining about school and work and crowds remember how you felt when those things were non-existent.

As we are slowly released back into the world again I promise to never take a moment for granted.

Do you remember your first event? Whether you’ve completed 10 events or 1,000, it’s a healthy exercise to put ourselves in the shoes (tall boots?) of riders who are new to the sport. Emma Young, a freshman Equine Business Major at Otterbein University, rides on her intercollegiate dressage and eventing teams, and also fox hunts — and last weekend at Virginia Horse Trials she completed her very first recognized event. Congrats, Emma, and welcome! 

“The beauty of any first time is that it leads to a thousand others…”

I came across this quote by author Pico Lyer and it hit me. There has to be a first time to make a champion, a seasoned-pro, someone who it becomes second nature for. I still remember calling my trainer the first time we hauled my horse. We were nervous and she told us that the first time is the hardest. Once we do it 10 times it will start to turn into second nature.

I’ve lost track over how many times I’ve hauled horses, but she was right. I’m not nervous now and I’m confident in what I’m doing. Last weekend I completed a different kind of first:

Photo by James Young.

This past weekend I finally met my goal to compete in a recognized horse trial. For the past year and a half I have been hoping to sign up for several, but it wasn’t meant to be. Each time something stopped me from signing up: My horse had a bad abscess, my horse was missing part of his hoof, our prep mini trial got changed to a CT due to weather, my trainer wasn’t going, I didn’t have a trailer ride… I’d watch for the opening dates for Jump Start, South Farm, Cobblestone, etc. with excitement, but each time the closing date would roll around and I wouldn’t be signed up. I’ve been a USEA member for nearly two years, but I’ve yet to experience one of their events before now. I’ve proudly sported a USEA bumper sticker on my car, practically since I got my license, but I have had no idea what one of their events was really like.

Finally, a month ago I sent in my entry for Virginia Horse Trials and held my breath. As the weeks neared closer I drilled my dressage, cross country schooled, and freaked out probably a little too much over some minor scrapes or an off day. I tried to soak up every piece of dressage knowledge possible, follow a set riding plan, and enjoy every minute I spent with my horse.

Before I knew it, the day had arrived: the day we left for Lexington, Virginia. I’m a freshman at Otterbein University and it was also my first show with the eventing team. We packed our tack, 12 bales of hay, six tack trunks, and 24 bags of bedding into the trailer before loading the horses. It was my horse’s first time (that I know of) getting on a six horse trailer and he loaded like he does it every day. A little over six hours later we all arrived at the venue. We settled our horses in, set up our tack stall, hung Otterbein signs and stall guards, and got our competitor packets. The three of us going Beginner Novice walked our cross country course before we all did a little dressage school under a lit covered arena.

The next morning we were there a little after 6 am; ready for the day ahead of us. My dressage time came early. My horse listened pretty well, but our connection we’ve started to get at school was gone. We put down a test that well-deserved its high mark of 47. Once dressage was over, we both let out a sigh of relief: onto the fun stuff!

Photo by Emma Young.

Cross country came next. It was a team effort getting ready. Someone helped tack my horse while someone else put red electrical tape around my horse’s boots. I put all of my own gear on and we headed towards warm-up decked out with everything Otterbein. Our warm-up went well and as we headed towards the start box I felt ready. The starter counted backwards and when she got to zero we sprang out of the start box.

We sailed over the first jump. He looked at the second fence, but we still managed to get over it. Then we started towards a green and white table — one of the biggest fences on course. At first I thought he was going to jump it, but a few strides out he started to falter. My crop got tangled in my reins and I let him run right out my outside rein. I was caught by surprise and my foot popped out of its stirrup as my body lost its center of gravity. I pulled myself together, sat up, pulled him to a trot, got my stirrup, and pointed him towards the fence for a second time. We flew over it and kept going.

Our next issue was at the water. He locked onto the Training level log in front and when I pointed him away from it and towards the water he backed off. I had to slow him to a slow trot to get him in. After that, the course went by in a whirlwind. We jumped our first mini corner, our first ditch and wall, and our first cross country combination. He listened so well and I wish I could go back and ride the course again.

Photo by James Young.

As we galloped across the finish line, my dad, my coach, and members of my team were there to cheer for us. Even Otterbein alumni were there. We were greeted with smiles and words of congratulatory. I had never felt so much a part of a team. The rest of the day flew by from caring for my horse to cheering on my teammates. Before I knew it, it was time to head back to the hotel for the night.

The next morning, after feeding our horses, a few of us watched the FEI level jogs. I had never been to a real jog and I can’t wait to hopefully someday participate in one myself. Then I braided my horse’s mane, walked my stadium course, and cheered on a teammate on cross country.

Before I knew it, I had to tack up for stadium. Once again, decked out in Otterbein colors we headed for the warm-up. On the way, we passed the ring where the two-star riders were having their award ceremony. It was such a surreal experience showing at the same show as some of the best riders in the country. Our stadium round was so fun and while we pulled the final rail, my horse listened so well. The walk back to the stables was full of emotions. I just completed my first recognized show.

I’m so thankful for everyone who made this weekend possible. I’m thankful for my dad for driving me and cheering me on all weekend. I’m thankful for my mom and sister for being the biggest supporters from home. I’m thankful for my friends back on campus who texted me with Good Lucks. I’m incredibly thankful for my teammates and coach — they made my first recognized show one for the books. I’m so thankful for my trainer at home and all my instructors before that helped me get where I am now. Most of all, I’m thankful for my horse who gave me
his best last weekend. I’m beyond blessed.

Photo by James Young.

Otterbein had three teams between alumni and current students. One of our teams got sixth out of the eighteen teams in the intercollegiate challenge! Everyone of my teammates rode incredibly well and I’m so excited to get back out with them soon. Can’t wait to come out blazing
next season after winter dressage bootcamp! What a weekend full of firsts it was!