Unbelts Wardrobe Malfunction Contest: And the Winner Is …

EN’s friend Denya Massey (proud owner of two Unbelts) sent us this neat photo: “Eric Lamaze — brain cancer and all — won a Spruce Meadow class in July and his groom was wearing her Unbelt.” Screenshot from CBC TV.

The last thing anybody needs while riding is a wardrobe malfunction. Or even a wardrobe inconvenience — and our friends at Unbelts agree. That’s why they’re revolutionizing the belt market with pants keeper-uppers that are as comfy as they are smart (think: machine washable, airport security friendly, ethically made and made to last).

For last week’s “Fab Freebie,” we asked you to share YOUR best equestrian wardrobe malfunction for a chance to win two two-packs of Unbelts! And the winner is …

“Soggy” Sonja Piana from Michigan! We received several stories of ripped breeches (not too many photos, though, haha), but only one reader ‘fessed up to wetting her britches.

From Sonja: “I was riding my trusty Welsh cross in my first post-baby horse trial, she zigged, I zagged, and she made a tremendous leap over fence 3. She was so pleased, she started bucking. My bladder was not pleased and emptied COMPLETELY, filling my britches and both tall boots, soaking my saddle, and delighting my wicked barn friends. Fifteen years later, I still can’t borrow a saddle without a joke about adult-size diapers.”

Sonja will receive a Hybrid Two Pack (1 Intrepid + 1 Classic belt, retail value: $99 USD) — congrats, Sonja!

L: Unbelts Hybrid Twin-Pack, R: Unbelts Classic Twin-Pack. Photos courtesy of Unbelts.

Of the ripped britches set, several of your stories made us belly-laugh:

Svenja Huntemann: “A few years ago I was wearing my oldest pair of breeches, which had a tiny hole in the crotch area (not sure anymore why I didn’t wear another pair). Partway through the ride I started to hear popping sounds and I realized the seam was splitting. By the time I was done riding it had split all the way from the zipper to the back. Good thing I was wearing nice undies and only friends of mine were at the barn!”

Mandy Duhrels Wallen: “I was at a schooling show with my horse Wally. He spun to the left and I came off. My rear end hit the fence, broke the board and tore my breeches. Thankfully my wonderful trainer was there to cover my ass … literally!! 😂”

Shawni Hunt: “I had a little paint horse who was not my best suited mount … we argued all the time and were constantly disagreeing in the arena so much so that he would run me into fences consistently ripping my socks and riding pants at my calves … holy calves (cow) … literally he was a black and white paint 😅.”

Chloe Abbajay: “When I was young, I had borrowed my mother’s very nice and expensive fleece lined full seat riding breeches for a barn party in December. After we rode our ponies around for a while we dismounted like usual. However, when I went to slide myself off, my breeches caught on the hook of my safety stirrup which then proceeded to rip my breeches all the way down from my thigh to my ankle. I will never forgot looking down and seeing my pant leg wide open. I truly wish someone had gotten a picture as I was quite the site to look at. Thankfully my mother forgave me but I never wore any of her breeches again — lol!”

We’ve got to the runner-up honor to Mandy Duhrels Wallen, as falling off is just adding insult to injury. Mandy will receive a Classic Two Pack (2 Classic belts, retail value: $75 USD).

Many thanks to Unbelts for sponsoring this edition of “Fab Freebie” — learn more and shop at the Unbelts website here.

Go Eventing.