Classic Eventing Nation

Oliver Townend and Swallow Springs lead the way at Badminton. Photo by Nico Morgan Media.

The first half of the first day of competition is behind us at the 2023 Badminton Horse Trials, presented by MARS Equestrian, and leading the charge into the lunch break is Oliver Townend with the first of his two rides, the former Andrew Nicholson mount Swallow Springs. They set an early standard as the third pair into the ring this morning, and the ground jury of Angela Tucker, Andrew Bennie, and Xavier Le Sauce roundly rewarded their test with a 23.2 that wouldn’t be usurped.

The score is a career best at CCI5* for the 15-year-old gelding (Chillout x Kilila, by Cult Hero), eclipsing his previous personal best — a 23.6 — achieved at Burghley last year. The very good score came despite one mistake: as the Irish gelding entered the extended trot, he broke to canter for one early stride. The rest of the test, though, was a testament to the marking power of accuracy: though Swallow Springs hasn’t got big or extravagant paces, he’s been meticulously produced, and delivered a very technically correct performance.

Oliver’s two rides this year are at the peak of their careers in their mid-teens — second ride Ballaghmor Class, who will perform his test tomorrow, is sixteen — and to this end, Oliver credits his team on the ground for keeping them feeling their very best.

“It’s great for the team; we’ve come here with two older horses, and I don’t think they’ve ever felt as good as they do now, whatever the result. To turn up with a fifteen- and a sixteen-year-old and for them to still be improving is very positive for everybody at home, who all put in the early starts. It’s a very good result.”

Oliver Townend and Swallow Springs. Photo by Nico Morgan Media.

Oliver originally had five horses entered — a testament to the remarkable strength in depth of his string — and was able to use those extra entries to swing the drawn order the way around he’d hoped for his two horses.

“We tried to get Swallow Springs on early enough,” he explains. “You can only do so much Badminton to help yourself with the draw and so forth, but at the same time, we’re very happy with where we drawn. I think that will suit him down to the ground; I’ll be able to pick fresh ground. He’s the quickest event horse I’ve ever ridden, so fingers crossed.”

Our friends at EquiRatings discovered that Swallow Springs will be Oliver’s eightieth starter at this level since 2008 – a remarkable (and, we have to assume, exhausting) effort – and one that has seen him hone his craft to something of a science over the years. But experience isn’t the only thing that’s helping him to consistently make a bid for the lead at this level – he has another weapon in his arsenal, too.

“Better dressage horses!” he laughs. “I always felt that I had a certain amount of feel, perhaps, but I wasn’t able to do it stylishly. I’ve obviously always rode a lot of young horses and breakers and problem horses, and now I’m on the raw material — so there’s no excuse not to go in there and do a nice job. Hopefully I’m continuing to improve, and hopefully I’m getting more relaxed in that. But at the same time, the horsepower is a different world to what it used to be.”

Even with those many, many starts behind him, Oliver, like all the rest of us, finds it easy to get caught up in the thrall of Badminton, and all that it means to the sport: “It’s just special to be here,” he says. “I wore out VHS videotapes watching this place [when I was a kid], and as you get older you think, are you going feel the same when you get here? But the minute you arrive at the stable yard, you know you’re somewhere very special. It’s just a huge privilege to be here and as I get older, I’m enjoying it more and more. I’m trying to take the pressure off myself and kind of smile occasionally and just enjoy the whole thing. I’ve got two beautiful horses, with beautiful chances, and I’m just enjoying being here.”

Gemma Stevens and Jalapeño are all smiles after their nearly-leading test. Photo by Nico Morgan Media.

The very last rider of the morning batch might have had to wait a while for her score to come through, but when it did, Gemma Stevens‘s whoop of joy could be heard throughout the stadium. She earned a 23.3 (“damn it, I was so close to beating Oliver,” she laughs) with Chris Stone’s Jalapeno, who returns to five-star for the first time since 2019 after over a year off and no small amount of care and patience from Gemma and her team.

That score marks Gemma’s own personal best at the level – an accolade that usurps another Jala test.

“It was actually really enjoyable — the horse is lovely to ride,” says Gemma. “She’s very soft and fluent and she felt completely relaxed. I could really ask for the movements, and I felt like I tried to ride every single inch of grass of that test — and she let me.”

Though Gemma is best known, perhaps, for her longtime partnership with the late, great Arctic Soul, this was always his trickiest phase – and now, finding herself aboard a horse who can really relish the atmosphere of the first phase is a particular joy.

“I felt myself really enjoying it — and that was just so nice after years of sitting on the old boy,” she laughs. “It’s just really nice to go in there and sit up and enjoy it — and try to smile!”

Gemma Stevens and Jalapeno. Photo by Nico Morgan Media.

We last saw Jala, who was previously partnered by Belgium’s Karin Donckers, take on this level at Pau in 2019, where she sustained an injury that saw her sit out all of 2020 and a large chunk of 2021. But in bringing her back, Gemma has left no stone unturned where management and fitness are concerned, which means that her routine coming into a big event — such as Blenheim, where she finished in the top ten in both 2021 and 2022 — are wholly different from the regime that Gemma’s other horses undergo.

“She’s been swimming once a week and galloping once a week since the middle of January, because I wanted a long, slow process,” says Gemma. “I didn’t want to pummel her with too much at once, because she gets a bit sore in her back and her body. So we’ve gone for the long, slow approach, and I’ve been so careful with her prep. It’s all been about working on her strength — like, really just keeping her happy and strong and actually not doing too much schooling. In a two week period, I’d probably only school her three times. She goes to the water treadmill twice a week, and she canters, and she’s been doing some fitness hacks — very slow trotting up hills. I feel like I’ve learned how to manage her, she’s a lovely, lovely mare, but she’s fragile. I think it’s all about horsemanship, every time you get a horse fit, you learn something new.”

Just as Jala’s customised fitness routine has helped her blossom, so, too, has Gemma’s own workout regime.

“I actually did twenty minutes of Pilates before I got on today!” she says. “I think I’ve just grown up a bit. I’ve got stronger. I’ve been working really hard on my own fitness. hat’s probably what it has changed a little bit — getting myself really, really fit and strong and feeling better.”

That Pilates session may have had another knock-on benefit: “I felt really relaxed today,” she says. “Just chilled, and I went in there, and yes, you get heart flutters, but I didn’t feel tight or tense, I just felt relaxed. So maybe I’m just getting old!”

Tim Price and Vitali. Photo by Nico Morgan Media.

Tim Price‘s Tokyo mount Vitali put the naughtiness of yesterday’s first horse inspection behind him to deliver a sweet test that, while not quite in the realms of his 21.3 at Burghley last year, earned them a competitive enough 27.1 for third at the lunch break. While it’s not quite what he was aiming for, he’s tempering his expectations — after all, he explains, there are still two very big jobs to do.

“You’ve got to be philosophical in this game, and while he’s an outstanding dressage horse, I want him to be an authentic five-star horse — and so it’s about three phases,” he says. “So I’m just trying to spread my feelings across the three phases, even here straight after the dressage. [The score] could have been a lot lower had I not had a couple of fluffy bits in the canter. The trot work was some of his best, and he’s a fantastic dressage horse, so unless you absolutely maximise on all those elements of what he can deliver on the flat, you will be a little bit disappointed. But a 27 with a few mistakes is still not too bad.”

Like many five-star horses, Vitali is a funny sort of soul – which is why Tim would always rather find himself on board than trying to trot him up in front of the ground jury.

“I don’t know the best way to describe him, but he needs support,” he says. “And when you give him the right support at the right time in the right way, then he can look soft and lovely. He’s a fun horse — I really like him and I respect him immensely for what he does.”

Tom Jackson and Capels Hollow Drift. Photo by Nico Morgan Media.

Last year’s Burghley runners-up Tom Jackson and Capels Hollow Drift sit fourth at this early phase after putting a 28 on the board — the 12-year-old Irish gelding’s best score yet at this level, despite left-to-right changes that still aren’t quite established.

“I’m over the moon with the horse,” says Tom. “I know there’s a couple of little mistakes in there, but on the whole, I felt that he was going better than he’s ever gone, so I couldn’t ask much more. He’s improving all the time, and particularly the change on one particular rein has been difficult, but they were clean this time — just a little bit exuberant. So we’re definitely going in the right direction, and he’s still a relatively young horse so hopefully we can keep edging closer. He’s a lovely mover and a very rideable horse, but he’s not necessarily the biggest flashiest mover, but I thought he felt really smart.”

Harry Meade and Away Cruising. Photo by Nico Morgan Media.

Harry Meade rounds out the top five at this stage after a smart test with longtime campaigner Away Cruising, who posted a 29 — another level personal best for the horse, who has only slipped sub-30 on one previous occasion from his six prior starts at the level.

“He’s a lovely, Irish, old-fashioned type; he’s not a big-moving warmblood, but I was really pleased with him — he put in a very solid test and didn’t really miss a bit,” says Harry. “Last year, I kicked myself because I wanted him fresh and I shortened the warm-up to do that, and then he was too fresh, so this year it was once bitten, twice shy – I worked him a little bit longer, perhaps ten minutes too long, and he just lost a bit of his sparkle. But it was a lovely clear round of a test, so job done!”

Dressage will commence again from 14.15 BST (9.15 a.m. EST), with Tom Rowland and Possible Mission launching us into the second half of the day. You can follow along live via Badminton TV, follow along with our up-to-the-minute live updates, and tune back in for the full report shortly after the close of play. Until then: Go Eventing!

The top ten at the lunch break on day one of Badminton.

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Badminton 2023 is upon us, and with it, another chance for the EN team to put our metaphorical money where are mouths are and pick our favorites for a big result this year. Here are our choices — let us know yours in the comments!

Kitty King and Vendredi Biats. Photo by Nico Morgan Media.

Tilly Berendt

Winner: I think Kitty King has come here with a point to prove, especially after a Burghley last year that she so nearly scooped. She and Vendredi Biats put their best five-star score on the board there — a truly ludicrous 21.2 that saw them lead going into cross-country – and had it not been for a truly unfortunate triggered MIM at those achingly wide oxers, they’d have finished second. She’s been so close to a big one for so long, and I think the fire is truly lit — now that ‘Froggy’ is past his naughty years, he’s a serious competitor and wouldn’t be at all out of place on the illustrious roster of Badminton winners.

Best Foreign Entry: I’m choosing not to consider any of our British-based Kiwis ‘foreign’, because otherwise it’s very difficult to look past Tim Price and Caroline Powell, and frankly, I’d like to give someone else a moment in the sun here. I’m a big fan of Aisprit de la Loge, the ride of France’s Gireg le Coz, who made his Badminton debut last year, finishing in the top twenty after a very good dressage and cross-country and an uncharacteristically lacklustre showjumping. Pau, in October, didn’t go quite to plan for them, but I think they’ll be back with a bang here — and if they can stick to their usual showjumping form, they should pin down a great result. Special mention, too, must go to one of my favourite horses, Lithuanian competitor Aistis Vitkauskas‘s Commander VG. I’ve been following this horse since he was a nine year old, and while his first and final phases will stop him from being truly competitive here, he’s an absolute joy to watch on cross-country, where he’s kind, genuine, and just plain fun. I think he’ll gain a lot of fans this week.

Best Debutant (horse or rider): It’s hard to call Felix Vogg‘s Cartania inexperienced when she’s performed so well at both a World Championships and a Europeans (14th and 8th respectively, for what it’s worth) — but in the grand scheme of things, she is still pretty green, and will be making her debut at the top level this week. She’s flying rather under the radar, as she tends to even on the continent, where she lives in the shadow of stable star and 5* winner Colero, but sometimes those are exactly the right conditions that a horse like this can use to throw out a result that surprises everyone except their rider. I think a very good week could be in store for this pair.

Best Mare: It’s a tough call between Ros Canter‘s gritty, gutsy Bramham runner up Pencos Crown Jewel and the young phenom Greenacres Special Cavalier, who finished fifth in her five-star debut at Pau last season. The first one is my ‘head’ choice and the latter is my ‘heart’ choice, and I’m going to chalk my indecision up to jet lag and keep them both in here, because I think they could both very easily finish in the top ten.

Spoiler Alert: Watch out for Gemma Stevens and Jalapeno — this super blood mare has been out of action for a fair while, but Gemma and her team have put tonnes of manpower and thought into strengthening her for her comeback, and she’s been looking brilliant in the lead-up. I think they could sneak well into the mix, especially if time becomes a big factor on Sunday.

Ros Canter and Lordships Graffalo. Photo by Tilly Berendt.

Amanda Chance:

Tom McEwen and Toledo de Kerser. Photo by Shannon Brinkman Photography.

Cheg Darlington

Winner: Tom McEwen and Toledo de Kerser – I just can’t help thinking that this will be their year. After the high of winning Olympic team gold and individual silver in Tokyo, and the disappointment of last year’s Badminton (my jaw was literally on the ground with them when they fell), coupled with Tom’s great form at Kentucky last week (where he was second with JL Dublin), he’s got to be fired up for this one. Although… my heart’s set on Kitty King and Vendredi Biats. I believe this is a horse and rider that’s overdue a big win and that they were unlucky not to be even closer to the top of the leaderboard than they were at both Badminton and Burghley last year (they were 7th and 6th). I would love to see it happen for them here.

Best Foreign Entry: This is a total heart pick but I’m going with Lillian Heard Wood and LCC Barnaby because I think he’s such a game kinda guy – also, I had a pony as a teenager called Barnaby – he even looked like his 5* namesake. With eight 5* completions together, Lillian and her Barnaby have rather better form than I managed with my Barnaby, and I really hope that they can add Badminton to that list this year on their second time of trying. LCC Barnaby’s 17 now and he’s been such a game campaigner for Lillian over the years that I think he deserves it.

Best Debutant (horse or rider): Kristina Hall-Jackson and CMS Google. When you hear Kristina speak about Google, it’s impossible not to get caught up in the excitement she has for their partnership. They’ve completed at all but one of their 24 FEI starts together and Kristina says the mare is ‘as brave as a lion’, something that will definitely come in handy on Badminton cross country day. They’re an exciting prospect and I’d love to see all that potential realized this weekend.

Best Mare: Quindiva – Alex Bragg’s ride. With her penchant for double clears, and her trend for sub-30 dressage scores, this could be a very successful week for the little mare, despite it being her first time at the level. She’s known to be a diva and we all know that with great talent comes big personality. It’d be cool to see Alex up there too.

Spoiler Alert: It wouldn’t exactly be a spoiler if he did win it – EquiRatings have him down as favorite – but this could be Oliver Townend and Swallow Springs’ year. He was 5th with Andrew Nicholson in 2019 and 3rd with Oliver last year, and I just have a feeling that it may be third time lucky for this lovely horse. Having said that, Tom Jackson and Capels Hollow Drift are definitely worth a shout out – they were 16th at Badminton last year – the horse’s first 5* – and then went on to finish 2nd at Burghley – that’s got to have Tom feeling great about his chances this weekend. Also… World No.1 Tim Price and Vitali (they were 3rd at Burghley last year) are on my radar – particularly after all the show jumping practice they’ve had recently on the Sunshine Tour – and of course Coup de Coeur Dudevin who Tim won Maryland 5* with last year when the horse was just a ten-year-old… Oh boy! It’s all to play for at Badminton!

Wills Oakden and Oughterard Cooley. Photo by Nico Morgan Media.

Diana Gilbertson

Winner: My inability to make a decision plagues me on a day to day basis, so to pick just one winner was agonising, I kid you not. I mean, I could just go for an easy, sentimental cop out and say they’re all winners just for getting to Badminton. Let’s face it, it’s pretty much the pinnacle of eventing, and to even get a horse here is no mean feat.

That being said, I have spent far too much time thinking about this over the last few weeks to take the easy road so, I’m going to settle on Tim Price. Or Tom McEwen. Or Tim Price. OHMYGOODNESS THIS IS HARD!

No. I’m going to settle on the Individual Silver medallists from Tokyo 2021, Tom and Toledo de Kerser. Having won Pau 5* in 2019, they are long overdue another 5* win. They took a nasty fall here last year, and who knows who would have lifted the trophy if they hadn’t –he could well have given Ms. Collett a very good run for her money. Reliable (despite that blip) in the jumping phases – his show jumping record is one of the best in the field – and usually at least top 5 after dressage, Toledo and Tom will certainly be looking to lay their ghosts to rest and nab themselves the top spot.

Best Foreign Entry: Can you count Tim Price as a ‘foreign entry?’ I mean, I know he’s a Kiwi, but the World No.1 and his wife (and World No.2 ),  Jonelle have lived in the UK so long they’re almost natives. Still, I’m going to focus firmly on the NZ after his  name, and ignore such minor details.

Tim brings forward two incredible horses, the Maryland 5* winner from last year, Coup de Coeur Dudevin, and Vitali, second at Burghley last year. It’s impossible to choose between them (or at least it is for me). The former has less 5* experience, but his natural ability  is obvious and I doubt Tim is bringing him here for an easy jaunt around. Similarly, Vitali has all the right ingredients, as long as he remembers to pick his knees up on the final day, his only weakness.

I refuse to pick one or the other – they’re both incredible horses, and certainly ones to keep an eye on for the future, so I’d expect them both to be in the top 10, if not higher.

Best Debutant (horse or rider): Tough one, given there are several horses lining up here for the first time – the current Badminton champion, Laura Collett is riding one herself. So I’m going to narrow it right the way down to a first time rider and first time horse, Georgia Bartlett and Spano de Nazca. Georgia has had Nono for 7 years now, and they have done everything together, all the way from BE100. She calls him her ‘best friend,’ and he might not be right up front after dressage, but his fantastic form across country could well see this pair climb the ranks. Trust me, this is a pair worth watching.

Best Mare: Again, there are SO many incredible mares in the field this year (girl power!), but for me, there are two standouts…Ros Canter’s Pencos Crown Jewel, and Caroline Powell’s Greenacres Special Cavalier.

My ultimate pick is probably the latter. She may well be less experienced than Ros’ ‘Jasmine,’ but her form thus far is impossible to ignore. She didn’t have a single jumping fault last year, and came fifth in her first 5* last year at Pau, even though Caroline openly admitted she was really only taking her there for the experience. She clearly has great faith in the mare then, to enter her here, and given Caroline’s own prowess and experience, it seems silly to look past Cav as the best mare in the field. I would even go so far as to say she could be a Badminton winner in years to come…

Spoiler Alert: Well, I’ll freely admit, I’m not really sure what this means. But since it’s my own choice, and so my own interpretation, I’m going to say it’s a result no one saw coming. So I’m going to completely disregard all of the sensible and informed chat I’ve given thus far in my picks and say that ladies and gents, girls and boys, Kings and Queens, your Badminton 2023 winner is…

Wills Oakden and Oughterard Cooley (GBR). Admittedly I’m biased – Wills lives quite close to me and I’ve admired his quiet determination for years – but this man is a serious talent, as is this horse. 13^th on their Burghley debut last year, they are capable of a competitive first phase score, and could well climb again after cross country. Ok, I will admit it would be a massive curveball (sorry Wills) if they took actual first place, but I am telling you, they will be RIGHT up there in the final placings. About time too: Wills has been knocking on the door for years now, and its about time  he had his moment

Alex Bragg and Quindiva. Photo by Tilly Berendt.

Ema Klugman

Winner: Tom McEwen and Toledo De Kerser (GBR)

Toledo is one of the most experienced horses in the field, and perhaps the most talented in all three phases. He and Tom have eight CCI5* starts to their partnership, not to mention two World Championships and an Olympic Games. Their winning 2019 cross country round at Pau was as close to magic as I have ever seen in eventing: the horse just looked like it was cantering around for a school at home. They are a true “triple threat,” and if they can finish on their (likely very good) dressage score, I cannot see anyone beating them. And there is something about just having being beaten on American soil in Kentucky—an event that Tom would have won if not for the force of nature that is Tamie Smith—that has probably lit a fire under this rider. We may just see him run away with it.

Best Foreign Entry: Austin O’Connor and Colorado Blue (IRL)

This scopey grey will be mid-pack after the dressage, but he is so reliable in the jumping phases that he will make up a lot of ground that the dressage-bred horses tend to lose on cross country day. I first watched this horse at Tokyo, where he was originally named as a reserve. He jumped off the bench for Team Ireland in style, finishing as the best of their bunch, and absolutely jumping the lights out in the two show jumping rounds. Austin is a cross country rider we should all emulate: he’s smooth, fast, and brave, and he and this horse are an incredible team to watch. With seriously good experience under their belts already (including Olympic, World Championship, and previous Badminton experience), I would expect these two to finish on their dressage score. 

Best Debutant (horse or rider): Alexander Bragg and Quindiva (GBR)

When I watched Quindiva on the live stream of Thoresby Park last month, the words that came to mind were “true athlete.” The horse can seriously jump, and hasn’t had a rail in the last three years. Because the show jumping at Badminton can be so influential, she may really shine on the final day. Her jockey, Alex, has quite a bit of five-star experience, so it will be exciting for him to have another horse at this top level. If all goes to plan, she should be in the top 15 or 20 by the end of the competition.

Best Mare: Greenacres Special Cavalier

This ten-year-old Irish Sporthorse mare is exceptional. She is the youngest entry in the field, but with a jockey like Caroline Powell, I would not count her out. I remember watching her show jump at Pau last year and you could have convinced me she was a pure show jumper. She looked as fresh as anything and like the cross-country had taken nothing out of her. On top of that, she has already shown that she can score in the 20s at the five-star level. Badminton takes some jumping, and this horse has jumping talent coming out of her ears. I would expect to see a very good result for this mare this weekend, and even more excitingly, for her to be a great horse for Team New Zealand for several years to come. 

Spoiler Alert: Kitty King and Vendredi Biats (GBR)

Partnered together for nearly a decade, this horse and rider have been knocking on the door for a long time, and for some reason, I think it will all come together for them this weekend. If they were on any other country’s list of pairs in contention for selection, they likely would have been at both the recent Olympics and World Championships, but British selection has been so competitive recently that they have just been left off the squad a few times. That disappointment likely has Kitty hungry and gives her a real point to prove. They came close to a big result at Burghley last year after winning the dressage on a 21 but having a pin on the cross country, but maybe that sort of “almost” result has driven them to be completely ready for the challenge this year. I just love “Froggy’s” expression as he goes around the cross country: he hunts for his fences and looks as honest as they come. If everything goes their way this weekend, I think they could just end up near, or at, the top. 

Tim Price and Coup de Coeur Dudevin. Photo by Tilly Berendt.

Cassidy Oeltjen

Winner: Rosalind Canter with Lordships Graffalo. I feel like the 2018 World Championships really taught Rosalind how to win – an important skill when you’re riding a horse with as much promise as ‘Walter’. He was second here last year to London 52 at his first 5* and fourth at the Eventing World Championships in Pratoni at the ripe young age of 10. I think 11 just might be his year to come out on top.

Best Foreign Entry: Tim Price with Coup de Coeur Dudevin. I’m not going to be the one to bet against the top ranked FEI rider in the world, even if it’s on a horse that he’s only had the ride on a short time. Tim brings two very talented horses to this year’s Badminton, but I think it’s this young, striking bay that will be up the leaderboard on Sunday. They won the 5* at Maryland last fall, and although it was a small field, the pair proved their worth, finishing on a 28.2, and I thinkthey could finish lower here (as long as he keeps the rails up on Sunday!).

Best Debutant (horse or rider): Caroline Powell with Greenacres Special Cavalier. Besides Coup de Coeur, I think another experienced New Zealander will find themselves going late in the day on Monday with their debutant Badminton horse. This mare might be young, but I always think the best horses have some quirks, and this one was one of the quirkiest as a young horse. But a wise man once told me that 10 is when Irish horses get their brain in the mail, so Badminton might just be the place that Queen Bee gets her chance to show off her smarts.

Best Mare: Rosalind Canter with Pencos Crown Jewel. Rosalind’s two rides are actually half siblings who share another 5* mare in their lineage. Having tenacity in her blood will help Jasmine move up the leaderboard, although they shouldn’t be too far off striking distance on
day one. It may be her first Badminton, but she’s no stranger to big tracks, and with Rosalind as her jockey, she should be in good shape to best the rest of the mares in the field.

 Spoiler Alert: Amanda Pottinger with Just Kidding. I love a longshot, and I love a thoroughbred. And I REALLY love a little (15.2) thoroughbred who loves to fancy-prance. Last year he scored a 25.9 in the first phase here, and if he can match that, he’ll be sitting pretty to storm around the cross country. Show jumping may be his achilles heel, but if the cups are deep and the pole-tapping gods are on his side, I think they could be sitting pretty Sunday afternoon.

Oliver Townend and Swallow Springs. Photo by Nico Morgan Media.

Abby Powell

Winner: Tom McEwen will be rolling into Badminton fresh off his second-placed finish at Kentucky with JL Dublin. Worried about him being exhausted from riding in back-to-back five-stars? Nah! Tom’s a marathoner in his “spare” time! Not to mention his Olympic silver-medal winning mount, Toledo de Kerser, isn’t exactly a slouch either. After an uncharacteristic fall on course here last year, this pair is in it for both the big win and little redemption while they’re at it.

Best Foreign Entry: It really feels like Tim Price shouldn’t quite count as a foreign entry, given his residence in the UK. But he does very proudly fly the New Zealand flag after all, so I’ll take it! If I can use this category to stick him and his Maryland 5-Star winner Coup de Coeur Dudevin up in the ranks, then do so I shall.

Best Debutant (horse or rider): I’ve got to throw a US pair into the mix here somehow, so I’m picking Katherine Coleman and her five-star first-timer Monbeg Senna for this accolade. 

Best Mare: Ros Canter’s Pencos Crown Jewel will be making her third 5* start here at Badminton, having placed fourth in the pop-up 5* at Bicton in 2021 and then jus outside the top ten at Burghley last year. This mare has a big bright future and I’ll be watching her closely this weekend.

Spoiler Alert: Oliver Townend and Swallow Springs may be EquiRatings favorites to win, but they feel a little more like spoilers to me for whatever reason. Oliver and former winner here, Ballaghmor Class, could also just as easily snatch another win here. Oh, and watch our for Ros Canter and Lordships Graffolo too! Gosh, this is another tough one to call.  

Ros Canter and Pencos Crown Jewel. Photo by Tilly Berendt.

Sally Spickard

Winner: Ros Canter and Lordships Graffalo

I think it’s going to be time for Lordships Graffalo — who at the age of 10 was a narrow second here at Badminton in 2022 — to have his day. With another year of experience under his belt, as well as a fourth place individual finish at the FEI World Championships last fall, we should see this pair ready to smash out a win or two on the international circuit in 2023. In 2022, Ros and Lordships Graffalo finished the Badminton weekend on their dressage mark of 26.0 — if they can achieve this or better this year, we could be looking at our next champion.

Best Foreign Entry: Tim Price and Coup de Couer Dudevin

Our Maryland 5 Star winners in 2022, Tim Price and Coup de Couer Dudevin are ready to tackle another major event. While Badminton might bring a slightly stiffer field, I think this Kiwi pair could be ones to impress or even swoop in for the whole win this weekend. An easy choice for this pick would also be Tim’s Pratoni mount, Vitali — toss a dart at the wall to figure out who the better pick would be. It’s science!

Best Debutant (horse or rider): Georgia Bartlett and Spano de Nazca

Ok, real talk: I’m mostly picking this pair because I am newly OBSESSED with the diminutive-but-mighty Spano de Nazca, who’s absolutely going to be chomping to get this weekend underway. If you haven’t met this pair, don’t miss their rookie profile penned by Diana Gilbertson here. While this pair won’t threaten the leaders on the first phase of competition, they’re a pretty reliable cross country pair who stands poised to make a climb on their first 5* effort.

Best Mare: Pencos Crown Jewel

I’m just on the Ros Canter train this weekend, and I think you might even be able to swap out this lovely mare for her stablemate in the winner pick column. Even better, “Jasmine” is a half-sister to Lordships Graffalo, really keeping it in the family of incredibly talented horses on Ros’ string at the moment. This will be another pair that will need to do some climbing through the jumping phases, but if they can finish on their dressage mark we could see them finish in that top percentile of this very competitive field.

Spoiler Alert: Tom McEwen and Toledo de Kerser

It feels somewhat silly to put Olympic silver medalists (and team gold medalists) into the spoiler field, but this is EN and we do what we want. Tom is hot off a second place finish at Kentucky with JL Dublin this past weekend and will be eager to get his old friend back out on a big track at Badminton. While they suffered a pretty heavy fall (no injuries) at the tricky solar panels on the 2022 track, that was an anomaly if nothing else as we can typically expect this pair to go quick and clear across the country. If Tom can manage a FOD again this weekend, Toledo could be the one wearing the crown when the dust settles on Sunday.

Badminton Horse Trials: [Website] [Entries] [Schedule] [Live Stream – Badminton TV] [Radio Badminton] [Tickets] [EN’s Coverage]

Laura Collett punches the air as her score comes in to lead Badminton in 2022. Photo by Shannon Brinkman Photography.

Welcome to day one of competition at the 2023 Badminton Horse Trials!

We’ll be kicking off with the first competitor – Wills Oakden and Oughterard Cooley – at around 9am BST / 4am EDT / 1am PDT.

EquiRatings’ field favorite for the win – Oliver Townend and Swallow Springs – will be third into the arena this morning.

We’ll see US rider Katherine Coleman with Monbeg Senna later on this afternoon – at around 4:13pm BST / 11:13am EDT / 8:13am PDT. The second American pair Lillian Heard Wood – with LCC Barnaby – and Canadian Mike Winters – with El Mundo – will be between the white boards tomorrow.

Who will be at the top of the leaderboard at the end of day one? Will they stay there? Keep this live thread bookmarked and refreshed, and watch this space!

Let’s go eventing!

Want to follow along with the form of all the horses and riders cantering down the center line at Badminton? Check out EN’s Form Guide for all the inside info.

Badminton Horse Trials: [Website] [Entries] [Schedule] [Form Guide] [Live Stream – Badminton TV] [Radio Badminton] [Tickets] [EN’s Coverage]

11:40 That brings us to the end of day 1 at Badminton Horse Trials. What a day!

Top of the leaderboard after the first day of dressage is Oliver Townend and Swallow Springs on 23.2, but clipping at his heels is Gemma Stevens and Jalapeno on 23.3 in second. Tim Price and Vitali are in 3rd on 27.1. 4th place is Caroline Powell and Greenacres Special Cavalier on 27.4, and rounding off the top 5 is Tom Jackson and Capels Hollow Drift on 28.

Things kick of an hour earlier tomorrow – 8am BST / 3am EDT / Midnight PDT.

Thanks for tuning in to our live updates – I’m off to rest my weary digits before we do it all again tomorrow! Keep it locked onto EN for the full report – coming soon!

If you’re reading this after the event, scroll to the bottom and read up.

Go Eventing!

11:36 Alexander Whewall and Ellfield Voyager score 38.5.

11:35 There’s a bit of a wobble as they cross the arena for the final change but they’ve halted nicely and Jilly can take a few deep breaths. Alex too.

11:34 For a horse who can get tense in this phase, Jilly manages the walk really well. She kind of misses the first flying change though and does a few trot steps – 2s and a 3 for that unfortunately.

11:33 Alex has opted not to wear spurs which gives us a clue to how sensitive this mare can be.

11:32 So far so good for Jilly. She doesn’t look the most relaxed horse but she’s staying with Alex nicely.

11:31 This pair typically land in the mid-30s to mid-40s depending on the day. What kind of day will it be for them today?

11:30 The last combination to go today will be Alexander Whewall and Ellfield Voyager, who’s known as ‘Jilly’ at home.

Rookie alert! This is Jilly’s first 5*. Alex has been here once before – in 2018 – and he’s looking for his first finish this year.

Jilly has a bit of a history of being difficult to manage in this phase – so watch this space!

11:28 Aisprit stops for a little snack on the way out of the arena – that Badminton grass must taste good! Gireg Le Coz and Aisprit de La Loge score 29.7.

11:27 More of the same kind of scores for the canter work really show just how consistent this pair are in their work. Everything’s accurate and clean.

11:26 Aisprit’s fussing a little bit in his mouth in the walk – you can hear him griding his teeth. It doesn’t translate into the movements though which continue to score very nicely in the 7s.

11:25 All of the trot work looks very positive and active.

11:24 A bit unbalanced at the beginning but a very elegant medium trot earns them an 8.

11:23 This combination generally score in the 28 to 32 range in this phase, although they did put down a 26.7 here last year.

11:22 The penultimate combination of the day is French rider Gireg Le Coz with Aisprit de La Loge.

Last year, this pair were 18th at the gelding’s first time at the level.

Gireg give massive credit to his horse’s extraordinary honesty, a wonderful quality to have in any horse, particularly a 5* partner.

11:20 Katherine Coleman and Monbeg Senna score 31. The support team are over the moon – jumping up and down and cheering. What a great sight!

11:19 Katherine’s had to work quite hard for it in this test but she looks extremely pleased with Senna who gets an enormous pat.

11:18 There are some moments of unsteadiness but Katherine keeps bringing Senna back. A brave extended canter is rewarded with 8s and 7.5s.

11:16 Senna really looks a picture shining in the sun. The walk’s going well so far – they’re pulling in 7s on the whole.

11:16 The sun’s come out for Senna and Katherine. Senna’s a bit distracted by the crowds at the end of the arena but is quickly back and working nicely for Katherine.

11:15 We’re expecting a score in the 30s from this pair, although it’s hard to predict whereabouts it will be. We’ll have to wait and see!

11:14 Here comes our first of two riders for the USA – Katherine Coleman and Monbeg Senna.

This is Monbeg Senna’s first 5*. Katherine last rode here in 2017.

Katherine has produced the gelding throughout his international career.

11:13 Caroline Powell and Greenacres Special Cavalier go into 4th on 27.4. A new PB for them!

11:12 They finish up with a 9 in the final halt. Caroline looks really pleased with Cav and so she should be. A lovely test.

11:11 Caroline’s hard work at home is really paying off in the ring today. The mare looks so happy in her work and very comfortable with everything that’s being asked of her.

11:10 Cav manages to stay calm and focused in the walk work and is now happily showing off a lovely balanced canter.

11:09 There are 8s creeping into their trot work. This is looking like a very good test for the young mare. A 9 and and 8 for the halt at X won’t do their scores any harm!

11:08 It’s a positive start for Caroline and Cav – an 8 in their halt and then lots of 7.5s for the trot work. They’re creating a lovely picture. The mare looks very happy in her work.

11:07 They posted a 27.7 on their 5* debut – what can they do this time around?

11:06 New Zealand’s Caroline Powell will go next with Greenacres Special Cavalier.

Did you know? ‘Cav’ is a relative youngster at the level at 10-years-old. She’s the youngest in the field this year.

This combination were 5th at the mare’s first 5* at Pau last year.

Fun fact! Cav absolutely loves a crowd, so she’ll be very happy here at Badminton!

She certainly enjoyed the attention at the Horse Inspection yesterday where she was quite lit up – perhaps she was spooking at all the umbrellas popping up as the rain came down.

11:04 Murphy looks very pleased with himself at the end of his test. He’s very relaxed – Badminton obviously suits him! He appreciates his applause as he walks out of the ring. It’s 31.6 for Greta Mason and Cooley For Sure – a PB at the level for them at their first Badminton. Great work!

11:03 It’s 7s across the board in the extended canter but a bit of a sticky change after it. They get things back together quickly though.

11:02 Murphy’s really working for Greta – there’s a lot of promise being shown in this test.

11:01 It’s a very strong start for Greta and Murphy – lots of solid scores coming in for some very balanced and clean work.

11:00 They trend in the low-30s in this phase before their favorite phase – cross country, of course – sees them with a bit of wiggle room up the rankings.

10:59 Next between the white boards will be national under-25 champion Greta Mason and Cooley For Sure.

Badminton rookie alert! It’s their first Badminton but not their first 5* – they were 14th at Pau last year.

Greta describes ‘Mason’ as being part of the family.

Family connection! Murphy was originally bought for Greta’s twin brother.

Greta is coached by former Badminton winner Rodney Powell.

10:58 It’s into the 20s for the first time for them at the level – Kylie Roddy and Carden Earl Grey score 29.9 – into the top 10 for them!

10:57 Kylie looks incredibly happy. Three of four flying changes were excellent and the final halt earns more 8s across the board.

10:55 Wow! 8s across the board for a beautiful flying change.

10:54 There’s a kick of the boards in the halt at X which upsets the gelding for a hot moment – but he’s quickly back with Kylie and settles.

10:53 Everything looks really balanced and rhythmical in the trot work. Nicola Wilson in the commentary box quite rightfully gives a shout out to the grooms who’ve turned out all of the horses beautifully. Early Whirly looks an absolute picture.

10:52 Kylie’s smiling as she canters up the center line and so she should be – a lovely positive start with 7s and 7.5s in the halt.

10:51 Their dressage scores tend to hover around the 30 mark, but they’ve been as low as 26.9 in the 4*-L at Strzegom in 2019, where they finished 8th. What will it be today?

10:50 Next to come forward is Kylie Roddy and Carden Earl Grey.

This is Kylie’s second trip to Badminton – she didn’t complete on her first attempt last year with SRF Kan Do, so she’ll be looking to put that right this time around with ‘Early Whirly’.

This is the gelding’s second 5* – they completed at Pau last year.

Fun fact! When Kylie’s not busy with horses, she’s making them – saddle horses, that is, which she created from upcycled furniture.

10:49 Hollie Swain and Solo score 44.9.

10:48 And Hollie – and Solo – can take a breath. They halt for a second before Solo’s off jogging again. He’s ready to run. Sunday, Solo, you can show your stuff on Sunday.

10:47 Hollie’s having to ride conservatively in the extended canter. She’s being very tactful and is doing really well to keep a lid on this very fit horse.

10:46 Hollie gives Solo a little scratch on the withers in the early part of the walk. Solo doesn’t want to walk – he wants to jog. Or gallop if he’s allowed to.

10:45 Everything’s looking a bit tense – Hollie’s doing a great job of staying calm. Solo’s producing some lovely movements despite the tension.

10:43 Solo competed in the Badminton grassroots – and now here he is in the 5*! He shows his excitement about the whole situation in the halt – or sideways walk as Solo decided it should be.

10:43 Hollie will be thrilled with a mid-30s score here today – but will Freddie keep all his excitement contained? Let’s see!

10:42 Kicking off the last session of the day is New Zealand’s Hollie Swain and Solo – AKA ‘Freddie’.

Badminton rookie alert! This is Hollie and Freddie’s first Badminton, but not their first 5* – they completed at both Pau and Badminton last year.

Fun fact! Freddie is pretty enormous! At 17.3hh he’s the tallest horse in the field – Hollie describes him as a ‘gentle giant’.

The gelding is apt to boiling over in the dressage – so watch this space!

He was certainly lit up at the Horse Inspection yesterday and was showing off his fancy toe flicks.

10:25 These are the combinations we’ve got to look forward to in the last session of the day:

10:12 We’re off for a short break now. There’s no change to the top of the leaderboard – it’s still Oliver Townend and Swallow Springs on 23.2, Gemma Stevens is right on his heels with Jalapeno on 23.3 and Tim Price and Vitali are in 3rd with 27.1. We’ll be back at 3:40pm BST / 10:40am EDT / 7:40am PDT. See you soon!

10:11 It’s 32.8 for Richard Jones and Alfie’s Clover.

10:10 Things are looking a bit tight as they get towards the end of he test but they’re trotting towards the final halt now. Richard’s ridden a very clever test here.

10:08 They seem to have put the blip behind them in the walk and now Alfie’s back to being a good boy and getting on with everything Richard asks of him.

10:06 Alfie delivers a really accurate test early on but he gets ahead of himself when Richard pushes for the extended trot. What a shame.

10:05 Their first phase scores are across the spectrum of the 30s – where will they land this time?

10:04 Last to canter up the center line before the break will be Richard Jones and Alfies Clover.

This pair were 10th at Badminton and 7th at Burghley last year.

Did you know? Richard lost his finger when he slipped in his lorry and caught his wedding ring. He was on track to deliver a career best finish when it happened.

Three months after that, he was 22nd at Burghley.

10:04 It’s not as good as their score last year, but with Fern’s favorite phase to come they’re sure to be on the rise on Sunday. Muzi Pottinger and Just Kidding score 31.1.

10:03 They finish up with two 8s and a 7 for the final halt – so a nice end to their test.

10:01 The stretch circle works out well for them and Fern really shows some stretch – there’s an 8 in the scores.

9:59 The scores coming in are mostly 6.5s and 7s – everything’s looking clean and accurate.

9:57 After a great start Fern has a bit of a moment and sticks his head up in the air in the half pass. He looks much happier in the extended trot though.

9:56 This pair are capable of a very good first phase score – they posted a 25.9 here last year.

9:55 Next up it’s Muzi Pottinger and Just Kidding for New Zealand.

Muzi’s back for another spin round Badminton with the diminutive ‘Fern’.

Fun fact! Fern is 15.2hh when he’s standing on his tippy toes! He’s the smallest horse in the field.

Fern is an ex-racehorse – Muzi bought him off the track as a 5-year-old.

Family connection! Muzi’s mom is Olympic bronze medalist Tinks Pottinger.

9:54 It’s a bit of a mixed bag overall, but there was lots of lovely work to be enjoyed in this test. Susie Berry and Ringwood LB score 31.9.

9:52 And of course as I was typing that things go a bit awry. Albie took a dislike to being asked for a flying change but Susie soon gets him back onside.

9:51 There are 8s coming in for the walk work too. This test is a real picture so far.

9:50 A super halt at X gives the two 8s and a 7.5.

9:50 Albie has come out in a lovely uphill frame and is being rewarded for his work with scores in the 7s and 7.5s in the early part of the trot work.

9:49 At his last four FEI events Albie has scored around the 29 mark. What will he do here?

9:48 And now for Ireland we have Susie Berry and Ringwood LB.

Susie’s back for another go at Badminton after making her debut last year with John the Bull.

‘Albie’ used to be campaigned by fellow Irish rider Jonty Evans – Susie took on the ride in 2018.

This is Albie’s second 5* and he’s looking for his first completion – fingers crossed for them!

9:47 Caroline Clarke and Touch Too Much score 34.

9:46 Caroline looks very pleased and there are big pats for Possum who looks to be smiling! 8s across the boards for the final halt.

9:44 Everything’s looking sound and solid in the canter work. It’s all accurate and clean. Possum’s doing a lovely job in the ring.

9:43 They’re a bit sticky in the rein back but the walk is lovely and relaxed.

9:42 Possum shows some lovely relaxation in the trot work early on. He looks happy and rideable so far.

9:41 We’re expecting a high-30s score in this phase. Let’s see how they get on.

9:40 Next into the arena is Dr Caroline Clarke with Touch Too Much.

Amateur rider Caroline is hoping that third times a charm after sending in her entry twice before but having to wait ‘til this year to trot down the center line.

Family fun! Caroline’s mum is grooming for ‘Possum’ this week with the help of Caroline’s brother.

Caroline has had Possum since she was sixteen and they’ve climbed up the levels to 5* together. She also has Possum’s brother in her stable.

Fun fact! Caroline is a dentist – for humans, not horses.

9:39 It’s 33.1 for Felix Vogg and Cartania.

9:37 Cartania looks very relaxed as she walks out of the arena on a long rein.

9:36 There’s a blip in the first flying change score – Cartania’s being a bit sticky – but her second change was much better.

9:35 The mare looks very settled in the walk, before anticipating the canter slightly.

9:34 Everything’s looking accurate enough for this pair. There are some 7s coming in for them.

9:33 Cartania has a tendency to squeak up into the 30s in this phase – let’s see what she produces here.

9:32 Next, for Switzerland, it’s Olympian Felix Vogg and Cartania.

This pairing were placed 8th at the European Championships and 14th at the Worlds.

Felix was actually born in Germany. His main mentor is Michael Jung, but he also works closely with Bettina Hoy on his dressage – so we’ll be watching for some of that German brilliance shining through in this phase.

Fun fact! Felix won a 5* on his 32nd birthday – what a great gift that must have been!

The first foreign winner of Badminton was a Swiss rider – will Felix follow in his footsteps?

9:31 It’s 34.4 for Felicity Collins and RSH Contend Or. A solid start with their favorite phases to come.

9:29 Whoops! A blip in the final change gets them 2s and a 3, but they finish with a nice halt and overall Felicity will be pleased with their test.

9:28 They’re back on the same page now and Contend Or’s got his ears pricked and looks to be enjoying himself.

9:27 Felicity does a great job of keeping Contend Or quiet in the walk. But the tension was creeping in and it’s come out at the beginning of their canter work.

9:26 RSH Contend Or can be quite feisty but he’s looking relaxed and happy so far – Felicity’s been working hard on this phase and it’s really showing. Lots of 7s and 7.5s and a couple of 8s coming in.

9:24 We’re expecting low to mid-30s here, it just depends how RSH Contend Or feels in the big atmosphere of Badminton.

9:23 Next it’s the turn of Felicity Collins and the stallion RSH Contend OR.

It’s a second trip to Badminton for this pair who finished 21st here last year.

RSH Contend OR is notoriously spooky and Felicity describes him as like ‘riding an eel’.

He certainly showed some of that character yesterday at the Horse Inspection when he all but ran away with Felicity.

Family connection! Felicity’s mom competed to 5* in the 1990s.

9:22 It’s into the top 10 with a score of 30 for Tom Rowland and Possible Mission – a 5* PB for them.

9:21 There are more clean changes and scores to match. A strong start to Badminton for Tom and Hunter.

9:20 A lovely ground covering canter scores an 8 and two 7s. More nice work from Hunter.

9:19 It’s a 10 for his halt at X!

9:18 It’s a strong start for Tom – 8s coming in for some of the trot work. Hunter’s looking happy and obedient and they’re painting a lovely picture. It’s all punchy and strong – so far so good!

9:17 We’re expecting a mid to low-30s score here today. Let’s see how they fit with their form.

9:17 First into the ring after the break we have local rider Tom Rowland and Possible Mission.

Fun fact! ‘Hunter’ was bought from a hunting yard in Ireland.

This is Tom and Hunter’s third time at Badminton – will it be third time lucky?

He was looking swish in a red three-piece suit at the Horse Inspection yesterday – will he make the same impact today between the white boards?

9:16 Here’s a look at the horses and riders coming up when we get back underway after the lunch break:

7:49 The live leaderboard shows Gemma Stevens and Jalapeno have gone into 2nd on 23.3 – just 0.1 behind Oliver and Swallow Springs. Tim Price and Vitali are now 3rd on 27.1, Tom Jackson and Capels Hollow Drift are 4th with 28 and Harry Meade and Away Cruising are in 5th on a score of 29.

7:43 We’re off for lunch now. We’ll be back with the afternoon action at 2:15pm BST / 9:15am EDT / 6:15am PDT. See you then!

7:42 There are two 8s and a 7.5 for their collectives. We haven’t got a score in for Gemma yet, the graphics went down and the feed needs to go to the dressage presentation. I’ll let you know as soon as I do. For now the top five remains the same, but I suspect Gemma will slot into there once her score is confirmed.

7:37 Gemma looks thrilled!

7:36 Jala’s looking very comfortable in all of the movements – everything looks easy and they’re pulling in some excellent marks.

7.34 And there’s a 9 for their halt at X! Some lovely scores showing what a lovely test this is.

7:33 There’s already 7.5s and 8s coming in for Gemma and Jala. A very solid start. Two 8s and a 7.5 for their extended trot which is one of this horse’s highlights.

7:31 We’re expecting them to be in the mix after the first phase – mid-20s or so. Let’s see!

7:30 Last before lunch we have Gemma Stevens and Jalapeno.

Breeding info! ‘Jala’ is sired by William Fox-Pitt’s famous mount, Chilli Morning – the only stallion to win here.

We’re excited to see Jala here this week after a series of niggles kept her out of competition for a couple of seasons.

This is the mare’s second 5* and first Badminton.

7:28 It’s 35.8 for Alice Casburn and Topspin – a solid enough start to their Badminton campaign.

7:27 Their canter work is better and they get 7s and 7.5 for one of the changes, which is great!

7:26 There’s tension creeping into the walk which sees their scores dip a bit.

7:25 So far, Topspin is getting on with his job. Everything’s happening where it’s meant to and he seems happy enough to do some dressage this morning.

7:24 This would be their weakest phase – the can score from the mid to high-30s, although they did dip to a 33.6 as Burghley last year.

7:23 The youngest rider here this year is up next – Alice Casburn with her homebred gelding Topspin.

Alice and Topspin finished in the top 20 here last year and was the highest-placed under-25 and made the biggest climb up the leaderboard. They were 5th at Burghley last year.

Family connection! This is a second generation homebred and Alice’s mom competed Topspin’s grandmother.

In the barn info! Topspin lives in the same stable he was born in.

7:22 It’s a 41 for Francis Whittington and DHI Purple Rain.

7:20 Prince is starting to fight a little bit with his head. He’s had enough of dressage and wants to go for a run by the looks of it. They’re nearly there now though. Francis is showing all of his experience in managing this test.

7:19 There are some good scores coming in the for walk – 7.5s and an 8 for the half circle.

7:17 Prince is looking beautiful with the Badminton sun shining on him. He’s looking bouncy but so far he’s working nicely enough.

7:16 We’re expecting low to mid-30s here, depending on Prince’s mood.

7:15 We’ll see Francis Whittington and DHI Purple Rain next.

Of course DHI Purple Rain’s stable name is ‘Prince’”!

This is Prince’s first Badminton but not his first time at the level.

The gelding can get quite anxious, so we’ll hope that he’s feeling calm and collected as he gets his Badminton underway.

He was extremely prancy at the Horse Inspection yesterday. Will he keep a lid on it here?

7:13 Hector Payne and Dynasty score 30.7 – a great start for a pair who’ll be competitive come the jumping phases.

7:12 Oh! Raffles comes to a halt on the center line, but it’s not quite time for that. Things are looking a bit more difficult now. Keep going Raffles – you’re nearly there!

7:11 Raffles is a bit cheeky in the first change – he wanted to show off how good his knees look when he jumps.

7:10 There are 8s coming in for some of the early work. Raffles looks really rideable and Hector looks to be having a great ride.

7:09 Their most recent form suggests a low-30s dressage is likely, but they have sneaked into the 20s at the 4*-S level.

7:08 Our next combination to go is Hector Payne and Dynasty.

This is their fifth 5* together.

Hector took over the ride on ‘Raffles’ from William Fox-Pitt.

They were 3rd at Pau last year so there’s no doubt Hector’s coming here hoping to be competitive.

Fun/painful fact! Raffles has gifted Hector with a new set of teeth courtesy of one of his ‘little moments’.

Truly fun fact! Hector’s number one talent is shimmying up a rope.

7:07 Andrew James and Celtic Morning Star score 36.6 – a job well done for them. It’s the same score they got at Burghley last fall.

7:05 Whatever their final score, Andrew’s got to be happy with his horse this morning.

7:04 Celtic Morning Star isn’t letting the Badminton atmosphere get to him at all – he’s lovely and relaxed and trying his best.

7:03 Celtic Morning Star’s trying really hard to do everything Andrew’s asking of him. This is a very pleasant test to watch so far. They’re not the flashiest, but they look happy together.

7:02 They get off to a great start with 7, 7.5 and 8 for the halt.

7:01 Realistically we’re not expecting them to be competitive in this phase – expect high-30s, perhaps into the 40s – but their cross country record certainly suggests they’ll be on the rise come Sunday.

7:00 Next into the ring will be Welshman Andrew James with Celtic Morning Star.

He’s ridden the gelding from his first 1* competition all the way to 5*.

This is their second outing at the level – they were 23rd at Burghley last year.

Family connection! Andrew previously rode Celtic Morning Star’s dam.

Breeding info! This horse is sired by William Fox-Pitt’s famous ride Chilli Morning.

6:59 It’s 31.9 for Austin O’Connor and Colorado Blue – a PB at the level. Great work!

6:57 Austin’s really shown how to ride a test here – go for the stuff you’re really good at and ride what you have in the movements that you don’t find so easy.

6:56 They show off a really bold extended canter with an 8 from one judge, but then have a bit of a spook bothers the change and they get 4s across the board.

6:56 This might be Salty’s chance to break into the 20s at 5* here – the trending score is looking very positive.

6:54 Salty’s working nicely for Austin – lots of 7s and 7.5s coming in. He looks rideable and happy in his work.

6:53 Generally speaking, they’re a low to mid-30s pair who can occasionally sneak into the 20s.

6:52 And now we have Ireland’s Austin O’Connor and Colorado Blue.

‘Salty’ competed at the Tokyo Olympics after stepping up when Cathal Daniels had to withdraw. He finished 13th overall.

This is his second Badminton – he was 8th last year after finishing on his dressage of 35.9.

He also went to the World Championships in Pratoni where he finished in the top 20.

6:50 Aistis is still smiling and gives his horse a pat. I think his expression is best described as pragmatic. The collectives say it all really – 5.5s and a 5. Aistis Vitkauskas and Commander VG score is 48.1.

6:49 The tension continues, poor Aistis is having a hard time as Commander VG waves to the judges. They’ll both be glad to get this phase over with.

6:48 Oh dear! There’s a mistake in the extended canter as Commander VG’s anticipating what’s next. He gets really quite upset and there are some difficult moments for Aistis.

6:47 Commander VG is definitely anticipating the canter work while he’s still supposed to be focusing on the walk.

6:45 We seem to have joined Aistis partway through his test. From what I’ve seen, it’s all nice and sold so far.

6:44 This combo are not averse to dipping a toe into the 40s in this first phase, although their scores have been trending downwards. How will he do here?

6:42 Getting us back underway is Lithuanian rider Aistis Vitkauskas with his sweetheart gelding Commander VG.

This is Commander VG’s fifth 5* and first time at Badminton.

Cuteness alert! This lovely horse can be spotted at events giving Aistis’ young daughter pony rides.

6:30 Here’s a look at the combinations that are coming up before the lunch break:

6:16 Oliver Townend and Swallow Springs still lead on 23.2, with Tim Price and Vitali in second on 27.1. We have a new combination in 3rd – Tom Jackson and Capels Hollow Drift on 28.
We’re off for a short break now. We’ll be back at 11:40am BST / 6:40am EDT / 3:40am PDT. See you soon!

6:15 It’s 34.6 for Rose Nesbitt and EG Michealangelo.

6:13 Jack really does look like a powerhouse of a horse – I can’t wait to see him go cross country! There’s a blip in the flying change when Jack objects slightly but they’re back together now and the scores are back up to 6s.

6:12 Everything is solid and accurate so far, lots of scores in the 7s coming in and an 8 for the extended trot.

6:11 Jack is looking really expressive in the early part of his test – they really look a picture together.

6:10 Realistically, Rose will be aiming for the low-30s today, but they have gone sub-30 before – they can also creep into the mid-30s too sometimes. Watch this space!

6:09 Joining us next in the Main Arena is Rose Nesbitt with EG Michealangelo. After this combination we’ll be taking a short break.

They come forward for their second 5* and second Badminton.

Rose says ‘Jack’ is a special lad who just loves the big events where he can show off.

6:08 Anna-Katharina Vogel and DSP Quintana P go into the top 10 for now with a score of 33.2. A solid start to their competition.

6:07 Alex Bragg explains that the scores are reflective of the horse’s general way of going in this phase. Everything’s correct but it’s not flashy. Wait ’til we see them go cross country though!

6:05 The sun’s come out at Badminton and with it a few more 7s creep into the scores.

6:03 Lots of solid scores coming in for this pair – mainly 6s, some 7s. They look nicely together and a happy couple.

6:02 We’re expecting a mid-30s mark here today – but with that kind of cross country form they’ll be climbing the leaderboard for sure.

6:01 Sole German rider in the field, Anna-Katharina Vogel is next up with DSP Quintana P.

This mare made her 5* debut last year at Pau where she finished 11th.

Did you know? Anna-Katharina is a state-certified structural draughtsman for an engineering firm.

When this combination made their European Championships debut in 2019, they delivered the quickest clear of the day on the cross country course – beating Michi Jung and Chipmunk, Ingrid and Hale Bob and Laura and London 52 in that phase!

6:00 James Rushbrook and Milchem Eclipse score 37.9.

5:58 The tension continues into the canter – its 1s and 2s for the flying change but they’ve got going again now and are looking more on the same page.

5:57 Milchem Eclipse was ready to get going into canter. 4s across the board for the extended walk as the horse showed quite a bit of tension.

5:56 Everything’s looking steady for this combination – they’re accurate and clean. They manage an 8 for the halt and another for the rein back.

5:55 This pair’s dressage fluctuates between the low and high-30s, so he won’t be in the hunt early on. He’s likely to be a leaderboard climber come Sunday though.

5:54 It’s the turn of James Rushbrooke and Milchem Eclipse next.

James describes this horse as ‘slightly weird’ – which makes me like him all the more! (The horse, also James, but mostly the horse.)

Fun fact! James moonlights as a Master for the Badsworth and Bramham Moor Hunt.

That hunting background will be of huge benefit as they tackle Eric Winter’s course on Sunday.

5:53 It’s 28 and into 3rd for Tom Jackson and Capels Hollow Drift. They’re definitely ones to watch as the competition progresses!

5:52 There have been quite a few 8s in this test – their halt brings them two more. All in all a pleasing test, just the changes were a bit costly this time.

5:51 A blip in the first change drops them down from the 8s they had been pulling in for the canter work. The second one is much better – 8, 7 and 7.5 for that one.

5:50 The scores jump to 8s and 8.5s in the walk! Impressive!

5:49 Lots of nice scores coming in for Tom – everything’s looking rhythmical and easy. Lots of scores in the 7s for their efforts.

5:48 Tom’s been working hard on his dressage and Alex Bragg in the commentary box says he’s seen them warming up looking fabulous. Let’s see if it all comes to fruition.

5:47 Their dressage scores tend to hover around the 30 mark, but with only one cross country jumping fault in five seasons together, they’re sure to be leaderboard climbers on Sunday.

5:46 Next up the center line will be last year’s Burghley runners up, Tom Jackson and Capels Hollow Drift.

Did you know? Capels Hollow Drift is a stallion.

This is their second Badminton together – they finished 16th here last year in their first 5*.

5:55 Another into the 20s! It’s 29.3 for Kirsty Chabert and Opposition Loire.

5:44 A difficult last change drops them down a bit but two 8s for the final halt really rounds this test off nicely.

5:43 There are some 8s creeping into the canter work – an 8.5 for the extended and an 8 for the flying change. There is so much to like about this test.

5:41 Lots of good work happening for Kirsty and Daisy. Kirsty’s getting the marks where she can and being as accurate as possible. 7s and 7.5s are coming in for their walk work.

5:40 Daisy looks fit and well this morning – they’re making a lovely picture as they trot round the ring.

5:39 We’re expecting high-20s to low-30s here today. Let’s see how it pans out.

5:38 Next up we have Kirsty Chabert and Opposition Loire, AKA ‘Daisy’.

Kirsty’s fresh off a flight from Kentucky where she finished just outside the top 20 with Classic VI.

This is Daisy’s first 5* but she’s shown her mettle at the 4*-L level, coming 3rd at Bramham where they added only a few time penalties to their 28.1 dressage score.

Family connection! Daisy is a product of Kirsty’s dad’s breeding program – she used to compete Daisy’s sire.

5:37 It’s 29.6 for Izzy Taylor and Happy Days – it could have been more mid-20s but not to be today. A solid score nonetheless.

5:36 They finish with an 8 for the halt, so a fitting end to a test that showed a lot of promise.

5:35 Oh no! Happy was definitely not happy about the counter canter and change after it – 2s and 3s. What a shame in an otherwise excellent test.

5:34 The scores continue to reflect the very nice work that this pair are producing. Lovely walk work and the quality continues into the canter. This is a very consistent test so far.

5:33 Lots of positive riding from Izzy and Happy’s looking attentive and well, happy. Lots of 7s and 7.5s and a couple of 8s coming in.

5:32 A super start for Izzy and Happy – 8 and 8.5 for the halt.

5:31 Happy Days is a low-30s kind of horse, though he’s been into the 20s a couple of times and posted a 25.9 at Burgham in the 4*-S last year.

5:30 Coming forward on the first of her two rides next is Izzy Taylor with Happy Days.

Well this is a horse whose name just makes you smile 🙂 Will it be happy days for Happy Days at Badminton? We hope so!

This gelding made his 5* debut at Pau last season where he finished 21st.

Their most recent form is 4th place in the 4*-S at Burnham Market – his best 4* result yet.

5:29 It’s a 29 for Harry Meade and Away Cruising. Harry will be pleased with that. Into 3rd for them

5:28 There’s an 8 and 9 for a super square halt at the end. This is looking to be a very strong start for Harry and Spot.

5:27 The stretch circle is lovely and happy and gets 7.5s across the board.

5:26 They’re pulling in 7s for their canter work and produce a very clean change for 7 and 7.5.

5:25 Spot is looking very relaxed and is really allowing Harry to ride him. It’s all very accurate so far and there are some 8s creeping into the scores.

5:24 Did you know? Harry was the youngest rider to pick up an Armada Dish”

5:22 Although capable of going sub-20, the pair haven’t quite cracked that threshold in the last year – Will they manage it here?

5:20 Getting us underway in this session is Harry Meade with Away Cruising.

This gorgeous gray – known at home as ‘Spot’ – brings forward a wealth of experience, having completed here twice before.

He was sidelined for a while but came back to the top level last spring.

Behind the scenes! At home, Away Cruising loves hacking with Harry’s young sons and their ponies.

Harry brought a splash of color to the Horse Inspection yesterday with some snazzy cerise pants – I see he’s gone down the more traditional route with white breeches for his dressage – shame.

5:10 These are the horses and riders we’ll see in the next session:

4:56 It’s 29.5 for Ros and Pencos Crown Jewel. That puts them in 3rd. In the lead we have Oliver Townend and Swallow Springs, 2nd Tim Price and Vitali.

We’re off for a short break now. We’ll be back at 10:20am BST / 5:20am EDT / 2:20am PDT. See you soon!

4:55 And they finish with a lovely square halt – job well done for Ros and Jasmine.

4:54 Lots of lovely marks coming in for Ros and Jasmine – a mix of 7.5s and 8s. The flying changes drop a bit but it’s the only chink in their armor so far.

4:52 There’s so much expression and rhythm happening in this test. They look happy to be together. Another 9 for the halt at C.

4:51 It’s a 9 and an 8 for the halt to begin – a fabulous start to their Badminton!

4:50 They tend to score in the high-20s in this first phase, but we all know that this isn’t a dressage competition and there’s every chance that they’ll be right up there when all’s said and done on Monday.

4:49 Last up before the break we have World No. 3 Ros Canter and Pencos Crown Jewel,

Family connection! ‘Jasmine’ is half-sister to Lordships Graffalo, Ros’ other ride.

This is their third start at the level – they were 5th at Bicton in 2021 and 11th at Burghley last year. How will they fare at their first Badminton?

4:48 27.1 for Tim and Vitali, into 2nd for now.

4:47 There’s some tension coming in with the canter work – the scores are down into the 6s here but Tim’s riding with all his experience and things look to be feeling a bit better for the pair as the canter progresses.

4:45 Ooo Vitali’s extended trot is gorgeous! Two 9s and an 8.5.

4:43 Starting off with 8s for the halt isn’t a bad way to kick off your Badminton campaign. Lots more 8s coming in for what is so far a fluent and elegant performance.

4:42 Their score has rarely dipped outside of the 20s and has been dropping lower and lower – they posted a 21.3 at Burghley last year leaving them in 2nd after the first phase – can they go even lower and one better here? We’ve got a long wait to see where they eventually end up!

4:41 World No.1, New Zealand’s Tim Price, comes forward next with the first of his two rides Vitali.

Tim will be seeing us out tomorrow afternoon as he closes the two days of dressage, but there’s a long way to go before then!

Tim’s ride at the Tokyo Olympics, Vitali was 3rd at Burghley last year and 10th on his 5* debut at Luhmuhlen.

Hot tip! EquiRatings have this pair as most likely to be leading after the dressage – will the stats hold up?

At the Horse Inspection Vitali certainly looked fit and ready – he even managed to get some rein back practice in!

4:39 Pippa gives a big sigh as they halt at the end of their test. She worked hard there. It’s 32.5 for them, a bit below what they’d have hoped for but Majas Hope looks excited for all the good stuff to come.

4:37 Pippa’s sitting quietly in the walk to keep Majas Hope on track and it comes bubbling out a bit as they set off into canter. He’s looking a little spooky but Pippa knows him well and is riding with all her experience and brilliance.

4:36 There’s lots of 7s and some 8s coming in – lovely marks for a lovely test so far.

4:35 Majas Hope is looking ready for his competition to start. He looks absolutely gorgeous this morning and gets an 8 and 9 for the halt.

4:34 We can likely expect sub-30 here this morning. Go Pippa!

4:33 Now it’s the turn of Pippa Funnell MBE and Majas Hope.

Pippa is a multiple Olympic, European and World medalist and the first (and only in the long format) winner of the Rolex Grand Slam of Eventing.

She’s a Wesko Equestrian Foundation mentor, video game star and children’s author – she’ll be signing her books here this weekend in between riding and course walking.

Majas Hope has five 5* completions under his belt.

4:32 It’s 34.2 for Dan and Cooley One To Many.

4:30 The final changes are a bit sticky but overall, for a first time at the level, Jack’s done a lovely job.

4:27 Jack’s very settled in the walk and is rewarded for that in the scores. All solid so far for this pair.

4:27 Dan’s riding a correct and accurate test. Everything looks very safe so far.

4:26 This pair have scored in the 20s, but their average is around the 30 mark.

4:25 Next up the center line will be New Zealand rider Dan Jocelyn and 5* first-timer Cooley One To Many.

Safe to say that ‘Jack’ is a bit quirky! When a horse comes with extensive instructions – as Jack did when he moved to Dan’s yard from Daisy Berkley’s – it’s kind of a giveaway!

4:24 Oliver looks very pleased as he leaves the ring, and so he should. It’s 23.1 for Oliver and Swallow Springs.

4:23 They’ll be comfortably in the lead – how long will they stay there?

4:21 As we expect from Oliver, this test is being ridden so accurately. Nicola Wilson in the commentary box says Oliver’s riding for gold.

4:20 Lots of 8s coming in for Oliver and a 10 in the halt!

4:19 They start off with 8s and a 9 in the halt! They are focused and ready for this by the looks of things.

4:18 Their scores in this phase generally hover around the mid-20s but they dip below that too. This is one to watch!

4:17 Our third to go this morning is Oliver Townend. Oliver had no fewer than five horses entered for Badminton this year. He’s had to choose just two to compete – he comes forward first with the former Andrew Nicholson ride Swallow Springs.

Top tip! This is EquiRatings favorite for the win.

This lovely gelding has been 3rd at Burghley and 5th here with Andrew Nicholson – he was 3rd here last year with Oliver. How will things shape up this year?

4:17 It’s 32.2 for Fiona and Carthago, a very nice start to their competition.

4:16 This pair are happy and harmonious together and are being rewarded for that in the scores – lots of 7s and 7.5s coming through.

4:15 Everything’s looking very accurate so far in the changes – they’ve had a 7 and a 7.5

4:13 Carthago’s looking a bit fussy in the walk. Fiona will be glad to get into canter.

4:11 There’s a little canter stride after the halt after a positive, confident entry. They’re back together now and are scoring some 7s and 7.5s for their trot work.

4:12 The duo consistently delivers dressage scores in the low to mid-30s. Let’s see what they come up with today.

4:11 Next to join us in the main arena at Badminton is Fiona Kashel with her the first of her two rides here this week, WSF Carthago.

Fiona and WSF Carthago come forward for their third time at the level.

They had a successful start to their 5* campaign with a top 10 finish at Luhmuhlen and a Pau completion.

Fiona has brought WSF Carthago through the levels from 1* to 5*.

4:10 It’s 34.6 for Wills and Rich. We think the 1 for the halt was an error.

4:08 And the first rider of the event have done their test. Score to follow. The trending scores were a bit of a mixed bag – some difficult moments but some truly lovely work too.

4:06 The scores were 1s and 2s for the rein back. So disappointing when everything was looking so happy. They’re back together now and have just had two 8s and a 7.5 for the change.

4:05 Oh dear! Rich has taken a bit of offence about being asked to halt when he was enjoying his trot work. It’s a 1 from the judge at B for the halt.

4:05 It’s a lovely start to the test, a few little wobbles but a lovely overall picture of horse and rider working together.

4:02 And we’re off down the center line!

4:02 They scored 32.4 in the first phase at Burghley – the horse’s first 5* – their best dressage score at any level. How will today’s test compare? We’re about to see! He’s just waiting for the signal. Rich is looking relaxed and happy as they canter round the outside of the ring, so that’s a good sign.

3:59 Our pathfinders for the event are Wills Oakden and Oughterard Cooley.

‘Rich’ made his 5* debut last year at Burghley, where he finished 13th.

Breeding info! Rich has the same sire and dam sire as Wills’ other ride – making them half-brother-cousins, kind of!

3:53 Here’s a look at who we’ve got coming forward in the first session:

3:52 What’s up ENers?!!! It’s day one of dressage and we couldn’t be more excited to see what unfolds!

Before we get into the nitty gritty of it all, I’d just like us to think about the HUGE achievement it is for all of the horses and riders who canter up the center line over the next couple of days.

No matter what twists and turns their competition takes, just being here is awesome and we salute them all.

Shout out to any American friends who are following this live in the very early hours of your morning. All hail the eventing superfans!

Let’s do this thing!

Once more unto the breach, dear friends: scarcely does one five-star end before the next begins, and with it, my next chance to lose friends and not influence people at all. What fun! What japes! What a great risk of losing my accreditation for next year! In any case, though, I always think it’s important to start these momentous weeks, full as they are of derring-do and extraordinary athletic achievement and emotional highs and lows, with a little bit of lighthearted ribbing. It keeps all our feet on the ground, doesn’t it? It helps us laugh as we teeter on the precipice of the things that frighten us. I am using a lot of words here to try to justify this; to quantify it as a great service to all of humanity and eventing. Have I convinced you yet? I’ve convinced myself, anyway, and that’s good enough for me. Slap a Medal of Honor on me, for I have served the Eventing Nation. And now, it’s time to give out some truly dubious prizes for my favourite looks from this year’s first horse inspection at Badminton.

First up…

The Golden Chinch for Honouring Monarchs or Burgers; Unsure

Lauren Innes and Global Fision M. Photo by Tilly Berendt.

Look, I’m going to start with this one, because I know you’ll all be waiting for it. We saw a lot of nods to this week’s coronation of the Man Who Would Be Tampon — err, sorry, King — throughout the course of proceedings today, with patriotic scarves, ribbons, and much, much more besides on show from a number of riders. But none encapsulated the moment quite like Lauren Innes, who simply chucked a crown on her noggin and went sprinting down a strip of tarmac, alongside a horse, in the pissing-down rain. The whole situation, when you actually step back and think about it objectively, is faintly ridiculous, and I love that Lauren just kind of owned that. She reminds me of the good old days when you’d get six nuggets and a cardboard crown for being a Very Good Girl while your mum went shoe shopping. I hope she wears it for all three phases.

The Golden Chinch for War Efforts on the Home Front

Laura Collett and Dacapo. Photo by Tilly Berendt.

We’ve got to talk about this silk headscarf, which is a truly land girl accessory. In it, Laura Collett screams “we’re only allowed a fistful of sugar, a spoonful of butter, and two apples per week, but I’ll make you a cake that’ll prompt you to propose to me immediately.” She bellows “oh, your leg’s hanging off? Bite down on this spoon, darling, because I learned to amputate and cauterise a wound at the age of 15 when my family’s reception room was turned into a makeshift hospital, and I’ll have you sorted in no time.” She heartily screams “let me show you my abundance of turnips: I planted them myself in a secret garden I created between two paving stones using some manure I just found somewhere and now we shall never starve again. Don’t mind the sirens! The root vegetables don’t!” If she came at me in a Land Rover with all the doors sawn off, I’d jump in immediately and assume I’d make it through whichever World War she’s singlehandedly battling. For King and Country: Laura Collett. She might be wearing hot pink, but she’ll still sort this place out.

The Golden Chinch for Gucci Collabs that Haven’t Even Happened Yet, But Should

James Rushbrooke and Milchem Eclipse. Photo by Tilly Berendt.

There’s something very ‘I’m a lumberjack and I’m okay’ about this look from James, but actually, it’s more than that: it’s very ‘I’m a lumberjack and I’m about to release the hottest hip-hop album of 2023, and Kendrick Lamar can fight me if he thinks otherwise.’ I want to inspect this man’s mouth immediately because I just KNOW he’s got a stacked diamond grill on those gnashers of his. That look of deep concentration isn’t because he’s trying not to trip while jogging down the strip; it’s because he’s currently thinking up some SICK BARS for verse three of Straight Out of Badders, a song I’ll want to hate because the nickname ‘Badders’ makes me do this awful full-body cringe thing, but actually, I know I’ll secretly love it and shamelessly play it on an endless loop in my house, thus contributing to James’s inevitable skyrocketing trajectory up the charts, which will end abruptly when he’s invited onto Celebs Go Dating and admits that he wasn’t potty trained until he was like, eight, or something. Then he’ll be forced to spend the rest of his career reinventing Straight Out of Badders for adverts for, I don’t know, toothpaste, or anti-diarrhoea medication, or something, until we all agree that it might be nice to let him headline Glastonbury, just once, as a special treat, ironically. Then he’ll become a national hero, like Elton John, or Mr Motivator.

The Golden Chinch Award for Egregious Overcommitment to Y2K Trends, Part One

Izzy Taylor and Happy Days. Photo by Tilly Berendt.

Right, Izzy, let’s have a chat: you’re definitely at least the same age as me, which means we lived through this horror already. You know what I mean, girl: the year 2004. The year boho inflicted itself on us all because Sienna Miller or Mischa Barton or someone willowy and blonde wore something that Seventeen magazine quite liked, and then it was inescapable. It was all crochet knits and peasant tops and, horror of horror, wide circle belts that served absolutely no purpose whatsoever. They just dangled there! On our hips! Holding up nothing! Making us look like we’d just stepped out of a casting call for extras in Gladiator! What were we thinking!!!

Fortunately, Izzy had a change of heart halfway up the strip and got rid of the belt, because in this, the year of our lord 2023, we like our accessories to actually do something for us.

The Golden Chinch Award for Egregious Overcommitment to Y2K Trends, Part Two

Alice Casburn and Topspin. Photo by Tilly Berendt.

I’m almost willing to give Alice Casburn a bit of leeway here, because at 22, she’s a card-carrying member of Gen Z, which means she didn’t have to suffer through the indignities of early noughties fashion, because when we were all being told by tabloids that having a full set of internal organs actually makes you a shameful heifer of a human being, she was being born. Yeah, take that one in. It makes me have a funny turn, too.

Anyway, as a Gen Z-er, she won’t be immune to the cyclical nature of trends, and I might be approximately 200 years old, but I do know that those teens and their TikToking are trying to bring all this suffering back into the spotlight. While I dig (do young people still say dig? Help) the flares here, I’m horrified to realise that it’s even possible to buy low-rise jeans again, because I’ve wasted so many of my young and hot years trying to wrestle my bum crack back into submission in those monstrosities that I simply do not have the energy to fight anymore. What I will say is this: Alice, if you want to do Y2K fashion, you have to do all of it. You have to really live it. I want to see you on Monday morning at the final horse inspection with a zig-zag parting in your hair. I want to see at least three butterfly clips on either side of that parting. I want you to locate some blue eyeshadow and some frosted lip gloss. I want Maybelline Dream Matte Mousse smeared along your jawline. I want those flares to have disintegrated at the back bottom seam from being stepped on so many times so that you’re walking around with a sad, wet, muddy tail dragging along behind your ankles. I want you to borrow Izzy’s belt. Don’t let me down, Casburn.

The Golden Chinch for Making My Camera Sensor Go Funny, Again

Harry Meade and Away Cruising. Photo by Tilly Berendt.

Ahh, Harry, we meet again. You are Cordings of Piccadilly’s most loyal customer, and the only man for whom I need to change the exposure settings on my camera, not because of your sparkling grey horse (although well done to groom Jess Errington there, because Away Cruising looks great), but because your trousers are so much. At one point a neon yellow ambulance trundled past the trot-up and I thought I was getting a sneak preview of your Sunday look. You are a mad man and you cannot be tamed and I have to respect you for that, begrudgingly.

The Golden Chinch for Nailing the Dating App Brief

Felix Vogg and Cartania. Photo by Tilly Berendt.

So often, when you’re scrolling through, say, Hinge or Bumble (this isn’t something happens on Tinder, which is an unapologetic shag-fest, frankly) you’ll come across people who are basically just there because they desperately need to find a plus-one for a wedding they’ve been invited to. I don’t blame them, actually: surely nothing is worse than being the Token Single at a wedding and thus finding yourself tactically seated next to the Other Token Single (usually a godawful third cousin with curiously alt-right leanings), who’ll spend the whole evening talking at you before eventually doing that hot-breath-exhale-and-lean-in move that a certain type of man is so adept at. This one, you know:

 

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Here, though, Switzerland’s Felix Vogg presents himself as the answer to all your troubles. He responds to your Hinge prompt sympathising with your plight (“weddings! The worst! Is there an open bar? Count me in!”) and although it’s highly odd that you have to summon him by saying “Hinge plus one” three times into the mirror, when he appears in his natty little three-piece suit and bow-tie with that smirk on his face, you’re like, “holy shit, I think this is actually going to be great.” And at first, it is: you turn up to the wedding with a veritable snack on your arm, and that one girl you’ve maintained some public semblance of friendship with since college even though she’s actually horrible is so vexed by it all that she walks around looking like someone’s just deposited a gentle fart on her upper lip for the next four hours. But then you lose track of your date for a while, decide to grab your coat so you can slip outside for an illicit smoke… and find him in the cloakroom, attempting to consummate anyone’s wedding, really, with the mother of the bride. You vow to start trying to meet men at normal places, like… garden centres. Or bake sales. Or soup kitchens. Then you decide to maybe just not meet men at all. That’s also fine.

The Golden Chinch for Maybe Packing a Ouija Board in her Tack Trunk; Who Knows

Emily King and Valmy Biats. Photo by Tilly Berendt.

I’ll let you in on a little secret: I was a baby goth. From about the age of eleven, which was just after the moment when I got over my long-held idea that I might be Kurt Cobain reincarnated (a notion that was finally quashed when I ran out of compelling arguments against the fact that I was two years old when he died), I embraced the dark side wholeheartedly. I shopped in Hot Topic, recreationally pierced various bits of my own face with hot safety pins, listened to screamy punk about, like, disembowelment and heartbreak and the intersection of those two topics. (Actually, I still listen to all that, and I’m quite happy to make recommendations. Hit me up.) If you need further evidence, here’s me at 12, just before I discovered hairdye and eyeliner, but well after I figured out that if you put a medieval font on a random string of words, it won’t matter that they don’t actually form a legible sentence, because it’ll just look really really cool:

I am the princess of darkness, and if you ask me real nice, I might let you borrow this outfit for the next trot-up.

Anyway, all this is to say that I spend my life playing one long game of Is It Goth? And in truth, all I want is for everything to pass that spooky barometer. I want you all to come to the side of bats and black lipstick and New Wave vibes with me. I want us all to look a little bit like Robert Smith (not the showjumper) on his wedding day, which is what I kind of accidentally look like most days so I really do need that look to be cool again. Black horse? Arguably Kinda Goth. Black leather-look waterproof breeches? Maybe a Little Bit Goth. Holland Cooper coats and Fairfax and Favor boots? Not Goth At All. Emily King in a Wednesday Adams dolly dress with a black low-denier tight and a boxy blazer? Very, Very Goth. Welcome to the dark side, Emily. Here’s a song about disembowelment and heartbreak to make you feel like one of us.

The Golden Chinch for Understanding that Masculinity Spans the Colour Spectrum

This! Was simply! A Lot! But you know what? I applaud a man who has the courage to mix his pinks. Whatever that means.

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