Classic Eventing Nation

It begins; complete with sad truths and wine. Photo (c) Morgane S. Gabriel

Disclaimer: game includes some adult themes.

So you may have heard of Apples to Apples, and if you’re of the darker, more warped variety of individual, you’ve likely heard of Cards Against Humanity (now THERE’s a game where lives are changed). Equestrians Against Normalcy is the hay encrusted, barn car driving, doesn’t know where the mall is but can navigate to every tack shop and show facility with in 500 square miles, cousin of theirs. Seriously. It’s that awesome.

If you’re unfamiliar with how these games are played, check out our earlier post here that goes into more detail (and some background on the game’s inspiration). The basic idea is that it’s a group game where the active player draws a card from the blue deck that has a phrase or question to be answered or completed by a card from the white deck. All players have a hand full of the white, ‘thing,’ cards and they each try to play a card that they feel best answers or completes the drawn blue card. The active player then decides which card they feel is best.

While the general consensus seems to be that the goal is to play the card that will garner the most humorous completion, really the goal should be to play the card that you think the active player will find most fitting, as they get to determine the winner of the round. The winner each round keeps the blue card from that round. The game continues in this fashion until all the blue cards have been completed (or everyone is laughing to hard to finish), the winner being the person who has amassed the most blue cards.

But really, with equestrian gold like this, who *isn’t* a winner? Photo (c) Morgane S. Gabriel

Being the warped individual I am, I thoroughly enjoy Cards Against Humanity (I am also upsettingly good at it, which probably says something I’d rather not discuss) and as someone thoroughly entrenched in the equestrian world, I could not pass up the chance to meet this cousin.

I managed to round up a couple of my horse crazy brethren, some pizza, and adult beverages, and we went to work. I’m not sure anything I could say would be as telling as the images below.

Yes, yes she might. But she’d also probably understand. Photo (c) Morgane S. Gabriel

Aren’t these often one in the same? Seriously though, being a COTHer I cannot tell you how thrilled I was that they got COTH in there. Photo (c) Morgane S. Gabriel.

Many of the earlier rounds were mostly PG.

As the evening wore on and the wine bottle wore down, things got a little less like The Saddle Club and a bit more like the Real Dressage Divas of the OC (No, that is not an actual series, but perhaps it should be).

Because who doesn’t love chocolate, wine, and questionable morality

Ah, innuendos.

Yeah, I’m not sure why this is funny either. Seems legit.

After going through the deck three times, we unanimously decided that the only downside to this game was that we just had the starter deck. Seriously, it was that much fun. I will be taking this on the road this next show season and I am pretty sure that this belongs in every equestrian’s stocking for the holidays. There are additional decks and I would recommend getting at least one of them to further extend game time.

You still have 11 days to snag this gem of a game up for the crazy horse people in your life! Check out the official Equestrians Against Normalcy website for more information and ordering. You can also visit their Facebook Page, where they’re doing some giveaways!

Go Riding! Then play adult themed card games with wine and chocolate.

Morgane Schmidt Gabriel is a 34-year-old teacher/artist/dressage trainer/show announcer/ who still hasn’t quite decided what she wants to be when she grows up. A native Floridian, she now lives in Reno, NV, where she’s been able to confirm her suspicion that snow is utterly worthless. Though she has run the gamut of equestrian disciplines, her favorite is dressage. She was recently able to complete her USDF bronze and silver medals and is currently working on her gold. Generally speaking her life is largely ruled by Woody, a 14.2 hand beastly quarter horse, Willie, a now beastly 7-year-old Dutch gelding, and Stormy, her friend’s nearly all white paint gelding with a penchant for finding every mud hole and pee spot in existence. Visit her website at www.theideaoforder.com.

In this excerpt from the bestselling book World-Class Grooming for Horses by pro grooms Cat Hill and Emma Ford, Cat tells us about one particularly “eventful” trip home from the Pan Ams.

Photo courtesy of Trafalgar Square Books.

Quarantine Nightmare!

When we came home after the Pan American Games in Brazil in 2007, the five US Eventing Team horses had a seven-day quarantine in Miami to check for ehrlichia (a tick-borne disease common in Brazil). My charge, Mara DePuy’s Nicki Henley, was injured so I was asked to stay in Miami and take care of the quarantined horses since my horse needed the most “tender loving care.”

Quarantine is a tough place: only one person is allowed in the stables at a time and only for an hour. Our gold-medal winning equine team went from four or five meals a day of the highest quality grain and constant care and intense exercise routines to concrete boxes with no windows, cheap hay, and one scoop of straight oats twice a day.

I would literally run into the aisleway and fly through getting Nicki into an ice boot, race through the other horse’s stalls to put my hands on them, check legs, and run a brush over them, change Phillip Dutton’s Truluck’s hoof wrap (he had pulled a shoe on cross-country), to finally get Nicki out of ice and re-wrapped.

The last day we were there, Truluck (“Milo”) wasn’t acting like his normal, cuddly self. I talked to the vets on staff and told them I thought he might be colicking. A vet came, took his temperature, and said he was fine. After a great deal of persuading, I convinced her to let me come back in two hours to check on him.

Many phone calls to Phillip and the United States Olympic Committee, and two hours later, Milo certainly was colicking, but since he still wasn’t running a temperature the vets weren’t buying my urgency. After much handwringing I was allowed to walk him in the aisle. He settled a little and I was asked to leave for the night. So I did what any sane, rational groom would do: I sat in his stall and refused to leave. I screamed, I swore, I was physically dragged out of the barn yelling that I was calling the news and exposing abuse. I then called Phillip, crying, apologizing.

The vet ended up checking on Milo and deciding (once he had a temperature) that he needed more specialized care, and they transferred him to Wellington Equine where his colic was treated.

So, after being up all night with this situation, I was thrilled to see the rigs pull in at 9:00 a.m. to take us home to Virginia! We loaded all the gear and horses into the semi-trailers, and I asked the shippers where the hay was. They looked at me blankly and said no one asked them to bring hay. Luckily, the Canadian team was loading their horses at the same time and they were able to spare half a bale. That was one flake per horse!

I then attempted to climb into the cab and the shippers obviously thought I was crazy; they had not expected me to ride up front with them. So I bunked down on some trunks that were stacked in the back with the horses and settled in for the long ride home. We sat at a standstill in traffic during a wicked thunderstorm, but finally made it to the Florida border. The horses were out of hay, wet, and miserable, and I was about the same.

When we stopped in line at the agricultural stop on the way out of Florida, I jumped out of the truck and visited every livestock trailer there, asking if I could buy some hay. I ended up buying two bales for an absurd sum of money.

A long 10 hours later we made it to Virginia. I can honestly say I have never been happier to see High Acre farm in my life!

This excerpt from World-Class Grooming for Horses by Cat Hill and Emma Ford is reprinted with permission from Trafalgar Square Books (www.horseandriderbooks.com).